Currently obsessed with Star Trek. :d Used this for a bit of stress release. Haven't forgotten my other stories, will finish the next part to it soon but this one's a multi parter too. Most of it is done already.

I got this idea off of a long prompt idea list on LJ, can't remember who suggested it or what page, but enjoy!

Also, it got kind of long so this is a multi parter, even though I was really trying for a one shot ^^; can't do anything by halves it seems.

The moment they arrived back Kirk knew something was wrong. It was deathly silent and everyone was staring at him. Scotty was gaping at the transporter controls with Chekov similarly dumbfounded and for some reason blushing beside him. Next to Jim Sulu looked like he was about to topple over in surprise, though he might've been tired from all that running. But considering Spock's eyes were also a centimeter wider and his eyebrows a bit higher, there was definitely something wrong since that was the Vulcan equivalent of "holy shit".

His first thought was that some giant parasite had latched on to him and was slowly eating the life out of him. Or that his limbs were rearranged. Or he was as green as an Orion, but a quick glance at his hands told him that wasn't it…though they did look different, smaller, more dainty, with longer fingers and nails. Finally he summed up all this with one word to his crew.

"What?" His voice was higher and he put that slender hand to his now slender throat. His arm came to rest against something very soft and squishy and he looked down, eyes widening at the sight of his uniform shirt, now at least two sizes too big and dangling off him, rounded in front by a pair of breasts. His pants were similarly baggy, barely staying on his now full hips by the grace of his belt.

"Capan, you've become lass!" Scotty finally cried, looking torn between laughter, sympathy and…well, more laughter. "And not a bad looker either!"

His first inclination was to say 'Of course, you thought otherwise?' but the shock hadn't receded enough. Reaching up he patted his chest, indeed confirming some new additions there. And rather nice ones too, this could be fun. Then his mind took a lurch forward and his hands flew between his legs, feeling there, causing many blushes from the nearby cadets and other officers, aside from the Vulcan to his right whose ears merely turned a shade greener.

Yes. Something he had become rather attached too was indeed missing.

Later, Kirk would vehemently deny he had fainted. He would say that it was the exhaustion, the dehydration, having been chased by angry beasties on the planet when he had still been male before they came up to find he wasn't male anymore and it all just came together to make him loose consciousness for a while. But it was not fainting.

When he came to, he was in the sick bay resting on a med bed and Bones was hovering over him with a tricorder. His eyes snapped to him and he breathed out.

"Finally! Goddamit Jim, you-and the-with-" Bones, being raised a southern gentleman, had a hard time yelling at a woman (unless it be his ex wife) even if he knew it was Jim.

"Bones?" Jim asked. He/she almost moaned when her voice came up to her. "How did this happen?"

"We're looking into it. Might've been a transporter malfunction coupled with the fact you were being chased by a bunch of female…whatever the hell those animals were."

"Female?"

"It was the grix mating season," a cool voice said. They looked up to see Spock walk in, calm and collected. "The science department has a theory that the high amounts of female pheromones in the air as we were teleported coupled with your molecules being rearranged resulted in…your mutation."

"Mutation?! I'm a girl!! And why aren't you a girl?! Or Sulu?! Is Sulu a girl?!" she practically screeched, noting the slight tick in the Vulcan's eyes. Sensitive hearing.

"No, neither of us has become females. It's possible that the fact one of the grix bit you," he nodded to his bandaged hand, " to initiate mating gave you a stronger reaction."

"Oh yeah, Jim always has a stronger reaction…" Bones grumbled. "Why weren't these grix things going after they're own kind?"

"The male grix population is severely depleted. More than likely they scented males and made no distinction between species-"

"I don't give a funking wagnel how it happened!!" Jim did screech this time. "Just fix it! Now!"

"We can't, Captain," Spock stated. "We are still looking into the how of this event, and until then it's not advisable to attempt to reverse it as it could possibly make it worse."

"How could it be worse?!"

"You know, they never found Archer's dog after what Scotty did…" Bones supplied.

"Point taken. But I don't want to stay like this forever!"

"I assure you, we are looking into every possible way to reverse your predicament, Captain."

"Good! How could this have happened…?"

"As I stated, we have a theory. But if you had followed my advice and not attempted to pet the grix-"

"I thought it was just a weird deer-dog looking thing! I didn't know it would end up getting the hots for me and chasing us, with its friends, and then turn me into a girl with its freaky saliva and pheremones! How was I supposed to know that?!"

"Captain, you are being quite emotional-"

"I have a damn right to be emotional!! I'm a girl! A giiiiirrrrl!! A…girl…" The outrage that had filled her features began to soften and Jim looked more thoughtful.

"I don't like that look, Jim," Bones growled.

"I'm a girl…"

"You have stated so already, many times, and we can see so for ourselves," Spock said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but now I realize I've been afforded a unique opportunity," he said slowly, starting to smile. "You said this won't be permanent, right?"

"No, we are looking into every possible way to change you back. We should hopefully have an idea in a week, maybe a little longer," he replied dutifully.

"Then I better not waste this time…"

"Waste this time, Captain?"

"Yep. Bones, hit me up with a contraceptive hypo, will ya?"

"No."

There was silence for a moment before she glared at him. "What do you mean no?! This is the first time I've ever asked you to hypo me!"

"I'm not going to encourage you to go out and get laid like this. It's bad enough the amount you do it as a guy, and the trouble you can get us in for it, but I'm not letting you go out there and try to hook up with anyone on the crew like this. Hopefully the idea of getting pregnant and not being able to change back will be enough."

"Bones-"

"Don't you Bones me!" the doctor said seriously enough to surprise Jim. "I'm not against premarital sex or anything like that, obviously, but this temporary body of yours is, I'm pretty damn sure, technically a virgin. And girls should not be giving out their virginity like two bit whores just for the experience, you got me? Girls are much, much different than guys about this, and even if you have the mind of a guy you have the body of a girl now."

It was times like these Jim could totally see Bones being the father of a little girl back on earth and he had to resist a smile and do his best to pout despondently. "Okay, fine…"

"Good. Cause your not getting any contraception from me and I do not want to see you pregnant on top of this."

"Trust me, Bones, I don't think any of us want to see that…what if I stick to girls?"

Bones twitched before glaring. "Jim, all things considering, maybe you shouldn't be experimenting when your body has just undergone a weird transformation. That could make it worse too."

"But-"

"I will get a chastity belt if necessary."

"I would like to see you explain that one to import guys…"

"Captain, Dr. McCoy has a good point. We're not certain if your body could handle it or what the side effects could be. And given your tendency to try and push your limits, you could very well hurt yourself."

"Et tu, Spock?"

"I am merely being logical. As you are, you do not have to be taken out of duty, but should you be injured-"

"Okay, enough with the veiled and not so veiled threats. But you had better fix this soon, cause I am not dealing with blue ball…or, uh, sex deprivation."

Spock's ears took on a quick shade of green before he cleared his throat. "Noted, Captain. Perhaps you should go to your quarters and rest now."

"Alright…Uh, no one disturb me for a while. I'm gonna get more familiar with my body since you two won't let me let anyone else get familiar with it." He stood and headed out the door, muttering something about protective fathers and big brothers and that this must be what it's like.

"...Hobgoblin, you know I don't usually ask favors of you, I'd rather down to a damn planet of diseased weasels. But please, please help me keep our damn captain from getting knocked up while he's a she, and/or doing something stupid enough to finally end me."

Spock let out a quiet breath that definitely wasn't a sigh but nodded once. McCoy thought he saw a vague frown around his eyes, but figured it must've been a trick of the light. "You don't have to worry, Dr. McCoy. I agree completely. I will have a discussion with the crew about it."

"Yeah…you do that."

Next part coming up…pretty damn soon :3