The tears of the forgotten

By: Danni Lynn

Chapter 1: A Tired Soul

~+! Serena's Pov! +~

Creak! Creak! My ceiling fan groaned as it spun in an endless loop around and around. Almost as if it was speaking a mantra that only ceased to aggravate my nerves. I moaned in irritation and flipped onto my stomach, while enveloping myself further into my blanket, silently wishing the world would just go away. Silently believing these last five years of my life was just a dreadfully long dream.

Turning over onto my back I shielded my eyes with my arm from the blinding light of my ceiling fan, and stared blankly at the darkness my arm provided. Memories of a time long gone floated before my mind's eye, taunting me with a reality of life that was just another chapter in my story.

As my arm began to grow numb, I let it fall onto the bed and moved my head to the side, letting my gaze drift from various objects placed haphazardly in my room. Though I had a strange adoration of bunnies ever since I was a kid, that obsession had began to cease to exist in my everyday life, yet, my room still portrayed a young girl that would live amongst those smiling bunnies and pink faded walls, not a wallowing teenager.

Suddenly, my blank gaze zeroed-in on a photo that stood on my night stand, the faces hidden behind a glare of light reflecting off the glass frame. With a jolt of my heart, I sprang up in my bed with a need to see the faces of the photo, with a irrational sense of unease. Scooting to the edge of my bed, I let my legs fall of the side and dangle a mere inch off the floor as I leaned in close to my dresser and picked up the picture.

I smiled despite my terrible mood and let myself drift away in my memories of my past when things were much simpler. Much happier. I use to have it all till that dreadful day. Yes, oh how I hated that day that started all this.

Sighing I put down the photo I was holding back onto my dresser where it belonged along with my other pictures I had, that I hold close to my heart. The faces I had so carefully edged into my mind I promised to never forget those times. For they reassured a means of an escape from a reality I never once wanted to be in.

I laid back down onto my bed and stared unfocussed at my ceiling as the rapid succession of the blades blew cool air over my face. Calming my aching heart with its lulling Creak! Creak!that let me cease my thoughts.

The sound of a high pitched squealing quickly grounded me to Earth and caused me to jump. "Help! Serena, come in!" I ignored the voice that was calling me, hoping it would go away as I settled back into my sheets.

"Serena! Goddammit, answer!" With a grunt of annoyance I sat up and picked up my communicator that laid discarded onto my dresser and clicked the link button. Then without further adieu, Raye's enraged face appeared onto the screen. With the sound of static and the shouts of battle cries buzzing in the background, I watched with a grim frown on my face. 'Why do they always need my help?', I mentally groaned.

"Serena, stop wasting time and hurry up! This youma is strong!" Raye screamed at me with controlled anger as it appeared she was making an effort not to smash her communicator on her end of the line.

"Where are you?" I simply replied, uninterested with anger issues as I waited for Raye to calm down enough to answer.

"Down at the park! Where else do you think the youma is attacking?" Raye turned off the link as I nodded my head. "Yeah, well, there have been other places." I grumbled under my breath as I climbed to my feet, letting the blanket that had been so snugly wrapped around me glide gently to the floor.

"It's in the middle of the night and they expect me to show up there in nano seconds. I really hate doing this every night. But the girls would die if I wasn't there so I guess it can't be helped." I reasoned to myself while I went to the side of my room to unlock my window. Then the next thing I knew I was out into the night and headed for the park.

~+! Raye's Pov! +~

"Where in the seven hells is that girl?" I screamed out in frustration while I dodged a stab to the side from a thrown dagger. The youma clucked in disappointment before it threw another one of it's many hidden daggers, that oddly grew out of it's forearms, like growing bones except they were metal and very much dangerous.

Just as it was about to throw another dagger at me, I took out paralysis seals from my subspace pocket and thew them at the youma as they magically stuck to its skin. It roared in rage as it struggled to move and I only watched with unsympathetic eyes.

Lifting my hand up into the air, palm facing the youma, I opened my mouth and yelled, "Mars Fire Ignite!", as a burst of flame crashed into the youma and with a high pitched scream it was burnt to ash.

I sighed in relief that the work was done, and on the inside I was doing a happy dance with balloons and confetti. "Amazing, Raye!" Venus cheered as I attempted to keep a straight face but was failing in doing so.

"Woh, what a way to pack a punch, with that kind of hit what in god's name are we helping you for?" Jupiter murmured enthusiastically as she studied the pile of ash with awe while noticing Mars' handy work that had swiftly killed the youma.

"Well, that's one thorn out of my side. Hey guys, let's change and head back to the temple before any people realize what's going on." Mercury suggested as she flashed me a smile before she started to turn back into her civilian identity. With a flash of light, Ami was standing in front of me at the exact same spot where Mercury was standing before seconds ago.

"I'm here, guys! I'm sorry that I'm so late, I was-"

Turning on my heel to face the amoeba of my annoyance, I glared at the confused blonde with unsheathed rage. "What exactly were you doing again? Trying to sleep in or waiting for our deaths?" I growled at her with the baritone of my voice hinting at unpleasant things as I changed back into my civilian clothes.

"No, Raye, that's not what I was-"

Putting my hand up to stop her and save my ears the pain of her soon-to-be wailing fit, I moved to stand in front of the stuttering Serena and gave her one of my infamous death stares. "There is no excuse for showing up late to a youma battle." I angrily snapped at her.

"End of discussion, you were late and no thanks to you, Raye defeated the youma before you even got here." Ami coldly interjected as she started to click away on her minicomputer that held Mercury's emblem on it.

"Let me speak." Serena desperately pleaded as she tried to keep her wailing in check.
"No, why should we let you speak? If Raye hadn't been there to finish off the youma we could have been killed, all because you were late. Also, Mina got hurt! When it could have been avoided had you been here sooner." Lita interjected as she assisted the limping Mina.

Serena looked away, ashamed as she pointedly refused to meet the scouts faces. "Here comes the waterworks." Mina sighed as she made her way past Serena with the help of a fuming Lita.

"Lita, hurry Mina to the temple so she'll be able to rest and get that ankle of her's treated and the rest of you, follow along because we still have to discuss our plans about what we're going to do with the negaverse. That includes you too, Serena." I commanded as I sulked towards the temple and blatantly ignored the head bowed blonde, who just stood there staring at the ground with a face I refused to look at, but as I passed her, she looked back up at me and smiled.

"I apologize for my absence, but I'll try harder next time. If you'll forgive me for being late, that is. Something had came up when I was heading over here, though, excellent job Raye, on defeating the youma." Serena gave me a forlorn smile as her eyes stared at something that was not directed at me with her expression clouded in sadness.

Feeling myself deflate a little at her apologetic smile, I nodded in acknowledgment in her direction, but was still irritated at her so I passed her did not say a word at her for her compliment.

~+! Serena's Pov! +~

As Raye began to move away from me, I stared back at the ground, unable to admit to the feeling of sorrow that dared to envelope me in a choke hold, but as Mina began to move pass me, I glanced up at her and lipped the words 'I'm sorry'. She, like Raye, also gave me an acknowledged nod but still held an expression of controlled agitation as she limped away while holding on to Lita, each step causing her to cringe in pain. I flinched inwardly as the stare gave me had held no other emotion except disapproval and irritation.

I stood still holding my breath as I waited for the girls to get out of sight, slowly making their way to the temple for a meeting, I knew, no one wanted to be at, but must be done.

My adviser, Luna, strolled up to me with Artemis flanked to her side as she bore holes into my skull, enraged at my tardiness in the battle. I met her angry gaze with my sorrow filled one and opened my mouth to explain, but she stopped with a quick flick of her tail.

"Serena, I know I've been at Mina's a lot lately, and I know I haven't given you a lot of attention because Artemis and I have been busy with working on finding the location of the Negaverse, but that does not deem you an excuse to miss a fight, which I might add, hurt a fellow comrade." She reprimanded me, I nodded slowly, listening carefully at her lecture, silently wishing she would let me just explain to her my situation.

Yet, how could she? When I kept the secret so well guarded that I dared not to let anybody in. I couldn't bear to let her in. She already knows half of what I am, if she were to know more...I would have to take desperate measures.

Artemis, taking note of my silence, decided to continue on berating me with Luna watching on with a guarded face. "Luna will be staying with me at Mina's house and Mina already knows of this, she already gave her consent. I think Luna and yours time away from each of other might give you a chance to grow in...maturity. " Artemis paused as he stopped speak and stared at me with lidded eyes.

Noticing the felines were waiting for my response, I nodded my head and gave them a small smile as I stepped aside to move out of their way. Seeing their earlier agitation at me waver, they gave me a courteous nod as they continued on their way for the temple, shadowed in the darkness together with their tails entwined.

Suddenly, I felt pain course up through my spine as my shirt began to grow red spots of crimson around my abdomen, the wound from my earlier battle taking its toll on my tired body that was long due needed rest.

Yet, I ignored the flashing bolts that stabbed like needles into my body and called upon the Luna pen to hide the wound. Hoping I could last long enough to get a decent rest when I went home after the meeting. Even though, my wound was bleeding, the Luna pen stopped the blood and just made the terrible gash appear to be a scar. It was actually, a deep gash that ran across my stomach and was fairly deep but luckily, was not deep enough to cause harm to my internal organs. I counted my lucky stars on the injury because if it had damaged my internal organs, things would be rather hard to hide...and explain.

Sighing, I stood straight and squared my shoulders, feeling some of the intense pain slow to a dull ache. Taking a deep breath, I began to stagger my way to the temple, slowly following my friends.

After an agonizingly painful walk, I eventually arrived at the temple, fifteen minutes later than expected. It had taken me longer, thanks to the gash and the bruises that covered my body, that were delicately hidden because of the Luna pen.

As I opened the door to Raye's room, I beamed up at them, hoping they wouldn't seen the pain that riddled my body. The girls only glanced at me with discreet acknowledgment as they began to talk about the negaverse and how much they had learn about them.

I wobbled across the room and sat down slowly, trying my best not to appear to be in pain. After I had seated myself between the table and the wall, I leaned against the wall and began to turn my friends' voices out as thoughts began to consume me and unknowingly, fell asleep.

I blinked as I felt my heart lurch, recognizing the place in which I stood. Wanting to run away, I tried to move my legs, but to no avail, my efforts were fruitless as I was forced watched the car go off the cliff.

The scene repeated and repeated till I could take it no more, as I was about to scream...I blinked again and saw Raye's annoyed face glaring back at me. "Serena, wake up! Pay attention, this part concerns your role as a scout." She hissed with threatening eyes, causing me to gaze at her warily, feeling the hair on my arm began to rise and my heart giving a hard tug on it. I nodded and waited as she sat back down, turning to the other scouts for feedback.

I stared at Raye numbly, as my dream replayed in my mind. The sorrow that seized me was one I knew all to well. I needed to escape this sullen atmosphere and find my way to the cool air outside. The autumn leaves were changing, and I wanted to be among the leaves to watch them fall. Not sit here and watch my fate unroll in the hands of the people I believed to be friends. Shaking my head to get it the dream out of my mind. I focused in on the conversation as Raye turned to me with an annoyed face.

"Serena, since you were sleeping, you have no idea what we were talking about, did you?" I shook my head to Raye, as her frown deepened an her brow twitched in irritation. If she kept this up, she'll be getting wrinkles before her twentieth birthday.

"What were you talking about?" I asked tiredly as I turned to Ami, who looked at me with a cold calculating face.

"About you being demoted as leader, since we can all safely assume that you are not made for this role in the future of the sailor scouts. Who we unanimously agreed on that it should be Raye, since that last battle we had, clearly showed you are not fit to be leader. So, Raye will take your place." Ami explained to me as I searched her face, looking for any hint that suggested that this was a joke; a game, that they were cruelly playing on me. Seeing the truth for what it was, I felt crest fallen that they had done this to me. I didn't want to believe that the people that I had trusted could be so cruel.

"It's not true is it?" I whispered exasperated as my heart began to crack. I desperately stared into each one of my friends' faces who met my gaze with a sad, but determined stare as they hardened their resolution.

I felt hurt.

I felt relieved.

I felt sad.

Most of all, I was mad.

Mad at them; mad at everyone.

"Alright, Raye, you win." I replied softly, hanging my head in grief, with my bangs covering my eyes, so that they couldn't see the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes.

I quickly got to my feet, and tried to bolt out the door, but there was a quick yank on wrist which caused me to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. Screaming in agony, I felt the gash across my stomach open again as it began to bead wit blood.

Feeling angry viciously grab hold of my pain riddled heart, I whipped my head around and faced the person that dared to hold me captive in my weakest moment. Seeing Raye stare at me with an expressionless face, I felt my blood level increase. How dare she? I bitterly thought. "What?" I hissed through gritted teeth, feeling my patience with the pyro raven begin to wane.

"Its for the best, please, Serena, understand. We don't hate you, we just don't think your meant to be the leader." Raye pleaded with me, but even though what she said made reason from the knowledge that they knew, it would be understandable that they would be forced to make this decision but in my rage hazed mind, it just didn't add up.

It felt like they were abandoning me, just like...just like...unconsciously, I raised my hand and slapped Raye right across the face, unable to perceive the information that she had given me. Raye let go of me and fell to the ground completely stunned at what I had just done .

For a few seconds, the world went quiet, and all that I knew was Raye. After the realization at what I had done sunk in, her hurt face instantly contorted into blood thirsty rage. She jumped to her feet and repeated the same action as what had been done to her.

My cheek stung as I stumbled backwards into the wall, the sudden motion caused my wound bleed even more effusively as it began to pool onto the bamboo floor. My anger getting the best of me, I grabbed my compact that held the Silver Imperial Crystal in it and threw it at Raye.

"Fucking fine, Raye!I'm tired of all of this! I quit, its not like any of you ever wanted me here. Since your leader you can have it! Even though only the blood of the royal bloodline of the moon can use it! You always wanted to be me, Raye, I knew it from the very moment I met you on the moon, but you, all of you don't know even half of me! If only had just wanted to know the real girl behind this annoy facade. Stupid bitches." I screamed at them as they watched me with shaken and pale faces.

As the tears flowed out of my eyes and down my flushed face, I ran out of the room. The sound of my name being shouted at me as I dashed out of the one place I thought was my sanctuary, fell to deaf ears. I couldn't handle the new profound that clutched my heart in a death hold.

Running down the stairs that led of the temple and into the street, I tripped on the last step and fell but I didn't fall to the ground but fell into some one.

"Goddammit! Who the fuck-" Stopping in mid-sentence as I opened my eyes, I stared face to face with my boyfriend, Darien, who watched me with clouded eyes. "Darien, I'm sorry!" I apologized as I climbed to my feet but stopped midway, as I felt the fire of pain from my abdomen wound. Deciding it would be easier to sit, I stayed hunched over staring into my lover's face, trying to desperately hide the wound that was pouring my blood onto the ground.

Darien watched me with unfeeling eyes as he stood up and dusted himself off, not once offering help to help me stand. "Next time, Serena, watch where your going. Though, it is rather convenient, I have something I want to discuss with you." Darien's tone was harsh and distant as I nodded my head, motioning for him to continue.

"Our relationship is over." He bluntly replied as he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders as more tears began to well up in my eyes..

"Why are you doing this to me?" I cried as clutched my bleeding stomach with both arms as I curled farther into myself, no longer caring if Darien saw the blood or not, that was not over flowing my forearms and steadily dripping onto the cement. He never noticed.

My question was answered with a simple, "Its because someone else stole my heart.", as he moved passed me and began to climb up the stairs, but he stopped when my name was called from the top landing. We both looked up startled as Raye came jumping down the stairs, speeding towards me like a bullet in hell fire.

"Raye!" Darien called out with his face lighting up as he watched her move past him with out so much as a glance, and in the way he watched her, I suddenly knew. Without a doubt, who it was that had stolen his heart.

"Serena, what the hell has gotten into you? Your fucking bleeding to death, come back into the temple with me! We'll help you! We can fix this!" Raye tried to reason with me as she jumped the last few steps of stairs and stood next to my hunched over body.

Suddenly, feeling very tired and very old, I put my hand out to stop her from coming any closer, as I sucked in a breath of air and got to my feet, with Raye watching on with concern. I let my arms drop to my sides as I faced her with no emotion; I was numb.

"Raye, I hope your happy with what you gotten today because you've just stolen all that has any meaning to me," I paused as I tried to move around her but she blocked my path.

"What do you mean, Serena?" She asked growing annoyed by my endless riddles. "You'll never know because from today on, I am walking out of your lives. Any contact I have with you, will be brief and short. Good-bye, Raye." I snapped at her, as I took a bloodied hand and shoved her out of the way, leaving a red hand print on her white shirt.

Breaking out into a run, I ran away as fast as I could to my house; to my room to be alone. To forever be away from the world which was my own.

This is a revised and re-edited chapter. Formally known as "Kicked out" but the subtitle has been changed to the recent one you now see. Please review for they are always welcome.

-Danni