"Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do" – Voltaire

Author's note: Inspired by the BBC series called 'mouth to mouth'. I didn't really like all of it but the two characters Tyler and Devine were mind blowingly good and they sort of reminded me of a modern day Arthur and Gwen. Actually, all the acting was all mind blowingly good (take note: up and coming young Brit actors). I'd like to think I captured the essence of the series, so any kind of comments are welcome. Hope you like it!

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1. Lance.

I didn't like him when I first met him.

To be fair though, as far as first impressions go, I don't, like, make a good one yeah? I didn't like him because he was all up in your face and preening himself this way and that. God knows no girl likes a man vainer than herself, you know?

I didn't like him the second time I met him. 'What a prick!,' I thought, only difference this time is that it wasn't me he was being a prick to, it was some poor guy. Couldn't pick on someone his own size, he couldn't. I don't like bullies and at that moment in time, Arthur Pendragon was one big bully.

He had always been on the periphery of my world, existing but not really being a constant. He was nothing to me but my best friend's boyfriend, another accessory, another brief talking point.

And then he faded to the back of my mind, nothing but a black stain on a blank canvas when Lance came. I thought to myself, 'yeah, now here's a boy who's really got his life together.' Yeah. I was deluded like that. When you're twenty though, you don't really got it all sorted, do you? I don't know. Maybe it was his hair. Yeah that was it. I was blinded by his shiny shiny hair.

Whatever.

The point was that Lance was nothing Arthur was. Yeah he didn't grow up with that silver spoon in his mouth and yeah, you know, he got into scraps and was awful at getting himself out. He also didn't have Daddy's money to help him. But he was noble, and that, that was something I'd almost given up on. Lance had all the traits of a prince charming, but none of the substance. Push came to shove and life got in the way.

He split a month ago.

Heartbroken, I was. The tears wouldn't come though. They couldn't. We'd never really been an item, a couple or any of that hoopla. He texted me, of course. Nine words, simple and bittersweet. In the middle of the night. It was something to wake up to, let me tell you that.

had2go been fun keep n touch, yea?

Never had nine words (if you could call them that) left me so wrong. For all his honour and all his sugar coated words, Lance didn't have his shit together, no more than any of us did. I think I wanted someone who knew where they were going in life, so I'd be taken along for the ride. You see, the thing was, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I still don't.