Sorry that updating took so long – I was actually planning on a different piece of the story, but this came to me and I decided to go with it. Besides, the other part [which I will still need to write] involves Nanao, and she seems to be refusing to talk to me. Oh well. On with the madness!

-

INTERLUDE: Ichigo is Not Happy

-

GuardianOne: Oi

GuardianOne: Quincy.

Cross_Archer: What, Shinigami?

GuardianOne: I am going to kill you so hard

GuardianOne: Any of your ancestors living in the Soul Society will drop dead too.

Cross_Archer: Oh? Any particular reason, or just simmering resentment at my general superiority?

GuardianOne: You fucker.

GuardianOne: Just because you have a stalker doesn't mean we need to match.

Cross_Archer: Ah, but as I recall, *someone* said it was romantic. *Someone* said I should be nice to my would-be sweetheart. *Someone* was kind enough to point out that, given I don't have a girlfriend anyway, that it's hardly going to interrupt with anything…

Cross_Archer: Now, who was that again?

GuardianOne: Yeah, yeah, bastard. You've made your point.

GuardianOne: But how the fuck am I going to get him off my back now?

FlashCat: Fufufufu. I don't think it's your back he wants to be on, Ichi-kun, but something lower…

GuardianOne: Wha-! Yoruichi! When the hell did you get here?

FlashCat: I've been here the whole time, Ichi-kun

GuardianOne: Don't call me that!

GuardianOne: And anyway, it's not funny! He's been talking to my FAMILY!

Cross_Archer: I suppose I should be grateful the mad scientist hasn't done that…

GuardianOne: …

Cross_Archer: What?

GuardianOne: Uryu

Cross_Archer: What?

GuardianOne: If Yoruichi is reading this

GuardianOne: What do you think are the odds

GuardianOne: Of anything we say not being spread around Soul Society at the speed of –

GuardianOne: Well, of Shunshin Yoruichi?

Cross_Archer: …

Cross_Archer: Well, fuck.

GuardianOne: Yup.

GuardianOne: Oi, and what's this about a calendar?

.

.

.

Ah, and for those of you who would have been wondering: all the chapters but this one and the first are supposed to be e-mail [this one is some sort of IM service]. The e-mail addresses didn't come out because is a bitch, but here's an approximation:

cross_archer AT coldmail DOT com DOT jp

mad_scientist AT seireitai DOT org

.

You see? It all makes perfect sense [if you tilt you head to the left a little and squint].