Sorry that updating took so long – I was actually planning on a different piece of the story, but this came to me and I decided to go with it. Besides, the other part [which I will still need to write] involves Nanao, and she seems to be refusing to talk to me. Oh well. On with the madness!
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INTERLUDE: Ichigo is Not Happy
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GuardianOne: Oi
GuardianOne: Quincy.
Cross_Archer: What, Shinigami?
GuardianOne: I am going to kill you so hard
GuardianOne: Any of your ancestors living in the Soul Society will drop dead too.
Cross_Archer: Oh? Any particular reason, or just simmering resentment at my general superiority?
GuardianOne: You fucker.
GuardianOne: Just because you have a stalker doesn't mean we need to match.
Cross_Archer: Ah, but as I recall, *someone* said it was romantic. *Someone* said I should be nice to my would-be sweetheart. *Someone* was kind enough to point out that, given I don't have a girlfriend anyway, that it's hardly going to interrupt with anything…
Cross_Archer: Now, who was that again?
GuardianOne: Yeah, yeah, bastard. You've made your point.
GuardianOne: But how the fuck am I going to get him off my back now?
FlashCat: Fufufufu. I don't think it's your back he wants to be on, Ichi-kun, but something lower…
GuardianOne: Wha-! Yoruichi! When the hell did you get here?
FlashCat: I've been here the whole time, Ichi-kun
GuardianOne: Don't call me that!
GuardianOne: And anyway, it's not funny! He's been talking to my FAMILY!
Cross_Archer: I suppose I should be grateful the mad scientist hasn't done that…
GuardianOne: …
Cross_Archer: What?
GuardianOne: Uryu
Cross_Archer: What?
GuardianOne: If Yoruichi is reading this
GuardianOne: What do you think are the odds
GuardianOne: Of anything we say not being spread around Soul Society at the speed of –
GuardianOne: Well, of Shunshin Yoruichi?
Cross_Archer: …
Cross_Archer: Well, fuck.
GuardianOne: Yup.
GuardianOne: Oi, and what's this about a calendar?
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Ah, and for those of you who would have been wondering: all the chapters but this one and the first are supposed to be e-mail [this one is some sort of IM service]. The e-mail addresses didn't come out because is a bitch, but here's an approximation:
cross_archer AT coldmail DOT com DOT jp
mad_scientist AT seireitai DOT org
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You see? It all makes perfect sense [if you tilt you head to the left a little and squint].