"Hmm..." Itachi scratched his forehead as he looked out over the endless expanse of fluffy whiteness. He was currently reclining against a cloud, ankles crossed and dangling over the edge of his heavenly perch. He sighed and put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes.

Death boring ya, huh?

His eyes flashed open in startlement. Damn, the voices are back again. Oh well, i'd better answer...

"Why yes, it is, actually. Although, it does give me time to contemplate the fact that my entire existence was contrived by the mind of another for the sole purpose of being an antagonist to my equally-fictional younger brother and his friend, that I have no real free-will, and that everything I am saying now is not really of my own mind but transcribed by someone else to fit within certain parameters that they believe my created personality would allow. Also, I am slightly perturbed to know that I exist in no real state other than on paper or some other equally two-dimensional medium, other than of course the countless number of "real people" with "real lives" who parade around in a semblance of myself in "cosplay", not to mention the new mental scars I have after finding the horrifying masses of "fanfictions" describing myself as having intimate relations with--"

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! YEESH... I get it, you're upset. I suppose I would be too, in your shoes.

"Why would you come to the conclusion that my shoes would be a source of discomfort for you? And who, may I ask, are you?"

Errrr... nevermind about the shoes, it's an idiom.

"A what?"

You know, an idiom. Like, 'the pot calling the kettle black', or, 'a wolf in sheep's clothing'.

"First of all, pots and kettles are inanimate objects; therefore they are incapable of having a conversation. Also, I was under the distinct impression that wolves and sheep prefer nudity."

...right...... so... anyways, let me go ahead and introduce myself: I am the narrator.

"Narrator? So you are in charge of the flow of events and conversation?"

Pretty much.

"What do you want with me, then?"

Well, Itachi, just as you are bored sitting around here in death, I am also bored sitting around procrastinating doing my homework. We're in very similar situations, you see...

"And?"

And, well, I thought you might want to join me as I have a little bit of fun.

"Hmm... I'm not very familiar with fun... except at the expense of others, of course..."

Well perfect! That's just the type of fun I had in mind! Of course, all of these 'others' we will be having fun at the expense of (did that even make any sense?) will have to come from the Naruto-verse...

"Very well then, although if you would refrain from calling it that, it would be much appreciated."

You don't have to talk like that, you know...

"Well, obviously, I do, since you are the one dictating what I say, and this must be how you perceive I speak."

Touche. Here, i'll fix it a little:

"Thanks. It's nice to not sound like a frickin' prince every once and awhile." He took a bite out of the bagel he just realized he had.

See, my omnipotent Narrator powers aren't all evil! Now, I had a few ideas in mind, so just listen closely and i'll tell you what to do:

"Y'know, I bet i'm not supposed to like people telling me what to do... it seems... 'out-of-character'..."

That's fine! (In fact, quite a bit of this story will be OOC, as well as crackish... fufufu...) Anywho, here's the plan...

And so, as the creepy voice from nowhere whispered its evil designs into the ear of Itachi, an equally creepy smile began to spread across his face.