A/N: Enjoy! :)

Chapter Twelve: The Decision

"Honey! Are you ready yet? Edward's already here!" Renee called up the stairs at me.

"Tell him I'll be down in a minute!" I shouted back. I turned my attention back to the two dresses that lay flat on top of my bed.

It was six o'clock. Edward was here to take me out to dinner — refusing to tell me how we would get to the restaurant — and there was only an hour and a half left until the dance officially began. We were supposed to meet Rose, Jasper, Angela, and Ben at the restaurant in twenty minutes.

Yet I still wasn't ready.

I already had my hair done in an up-do of some sort that I made up in front of the mirror while messing around with my hair. I left a few strands loose to frame my face, curling them slightly. Considering the fact that I put enough hairspray in my hair to poke another hole in the ozone layer, hopefully my hair would stay in place. I reached up to touch a silver butterfly clip that lay perched in my hair; Renee had presented it to me. It was a clip that she wore to her prom however-many-years-ago. Really, I was touched by this act; I was so used to her being oblivious to everything about me that this completely unexpected gift was a godsend.

I ran my fingers lightly down the side of my face. I had even put on a thin layer of makeup: eye shadow, light eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss, and a tad bit of foundation to hide some of the more visible scars. Really, I looked almost pretty. My messed up eyelid wasn't as noticeable now, especially with the makeup on, and my scarred skin looked almost perfect with the help of the foundation. I could be in one of those before-and-after pictures. It was that good.

But I still wasn't dressed yet.

I glanced between the two dresses again, worrying the hell out of my lip. I'd have to reapply some more lip-gloss later, dammit.

The first was a deep, midnight blue with a sash around the middle. It would come down to about my knees and was strapless with a sweetheart neckline. The material was shimmery and silky with some sort of an overlay on it. I looked kickass in it, I'd have to admit. This was the one that Alice and I picked out three months ago.

The second was a plain black dress with pink accents; I bought this one with my mom for my freshman dance.

"Bella!" my mom called down again impatiently.

"One second!" I yelled back, desperation hinting in my tone. My eyes darted back and forth between the two dresses, the indecision killing me.

Which one do I wear?

When I finally descended the stairs five minutes later, my mom gave me an exasperated sigh. But I didn't hear her. My eyes were on the handsome figure standing awkwardly in front of the door. He was fidgeting, shifting his weight from one foot to another. His fingers drummed anxiously on the top of the plastic container he was holding. I groaned inwardly; did Renee really have no manners whatsoever? I'd have to teach her that guests were supposed to be invited in and told to be made comfortable. From the looks of things, she just opened the door and let him roast there in awkwardness.

But all my thoughts of my mother disappeared from my mind when Edward paused in his movements, having heard my nearly nonexistent footsteps down the stairs barefooted. He looked up, and I couldn't help but feel as if we were fulfilling every cliché there was to a high school dance, all the way down to the grand entrance of the girl walking down the stairs with her hand lightly trailing on the banister. Yes, I watched my share of chick flicks. Don't judge.

His stunning green eyes caught sight of me and held me there. In that moment, I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world. An accident? Pfft, the scars were nonexistent in his eyes. His eyes trailed down my form once, pausing for a moment on my bare — and freshly shaven! — legs. His gaze continued downwards all the way to my bright orange toenails. Whoops. I forgot about those. So much for matching. It was a good thing that my shoes hid my toenails.

I smiled shyly at him, taking my turn to appraise him. I had to admit, he cleaned up well. And that was an understatement; he looked like sex on legs in that outfit. I subconsciously began plotting ways I could get him to dress up for me again. Even adorning a simple, traditional tux of black and white, he looked amazing. His white button-down was crisp and perfect for him. A dark blue tie was wrapped snugly around his neck, confining his Adam's apple as he swallowed. His jacket and pants held a shimmery sheen to it, its deep black so sharp that not even a speck of dust could be seen on it. The tux fit his form perfectly, as if it were cut just for him. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He was clean-shaven, but light stubble was already beginning to sprout on his cheeks. My fingers twitched, wanting to run them lightly down his face. It didn't look like he did anything special to his hair; or, rather, perhaps he tried and ended up giving up that fight. But even with the wildly mussed bronze hair of his, he looked like perfection. I was glad that his hair refused to be tamed.

"Wow," Edward whispered as I reached the main landing. He reached for my hand, running his thumb over it lightly to cause goosebumps to rise on my skin. I blushed furiously as he lifted my hand up, palm down, and brushed his lips over the back of my hand courteously, like a gentleman. "You look amazing," he murmured against the skin of my hand, lifting his eyes up to watch me.

I couldn't help but swoon inwardly; how did I ever deserve this amazing creature? At his compliment, I was glad that I had decided on the blue dress. It just felt right and made me feel like a princess, really. It was the first time since the accident that I wasn't too uncomfortable with showing off so much skin. Plus, Alice and I bought it together, and remembered how much she gushed about it when I stepped out of the dressing room. She said that the color flattered my skin tone and the style accentuated my form. I wore it for her memory. I shouldn't fear remembering her anymore. She was my best friend and deserved to be remembered as the wonderful person she was.

"Hey," Edward whispered, pulling me out of my sad-yet-happy thoughts. He had his fingers under my chin to lift my gaze up to meet his. "Where did you wander off to?"

My cheeks warmed again. Today was supposed to be a happy one, to be spent with Edward. I'd try not to let my depressed nature hold us down. "Nothing," I murmured, lowering my gaze. I could tell that he didn't believe me but was glad that he didn't push it. He really did understand me, maybe even more than I did.

Brushing the pad of his thumb across my cheek on more time, he removed his hand from my face to open the plastic case that he was holding. From it, he pulled out a beautiful corsage of white roses and orchids. It was accentuated by some gold pizzazz and some of the small flowers had streaks of dark blue in their petals. How strange that he seemed to match exactly to me, when I didn't even tell him what I was going to wear. Handing it gently, he motioned for me to lift my hand. I did so, an unwarranted smile tugging at the corners of my lips, as he slide the corsage on my wrist. There was a flash of light as Renee snapped a picture as he did so.

"Mom," I whined, blinking to try and rid myself of the dots that invaded my vision. I sighed, deciding not to ruin her fun for once. "Grab me the boutonnière from the refrigerator, will you?" As she went to do so, I released another sigh at finally being alone with him. I pressed my cheek against his chest, wrapping my arms around him and taking special care to not crush the corsage.

"Hi," I whispered against his jacket. I could feel his hands ghosting over my back before resting one on the back of my neck and another on the small of my back.

"Hi, love. I like this hello better," he murmured back, pulling away slightly so that he could press a light kiss to my lips.

"Mmm," I hummed lightly, lifting up on my toes for a better kiss. He evaded me, nodding towards the kitchen where Renee was rummaging through the refrigerator. I pouted, but he didn't relent. "You took the words out of my mouth earlier, by the way," I said, giving up on the kiss for now. At his cocked eyebrow, I relayed his previous words. "'Wow. You look amazing.'" I grinned at him, running a hand down the front of his jacket to admire the material. "You clean up well, Mr. Masen. Not bad," I teased playfully as I danced out of his reach. He growled playfully in return, reaching out to grab at me when my mom returned.

"Hey now, save that business for after the dance," she commented lightly as she handed me the boutonnière.

"Mom!" I gasped, spinning to a halt in my mortification. Fortunately, Edward just chuckled lightly, his eyes dancing in mirth. At least someone was getting something out of my pain.

Grumbling under my breath, I pulled out the small white boutonnière, tugging out the pins that were poked through the stem. I struggled to attach the white carnation boutonnière to his jacket, my fingers fumbling. Chuckling, he had to lend me a hand to avoid being poked by the needle. "Thanks," I muttered, feeling like a bumbling ogre, not even graceful enough to pin a flower to his jacket without causing bloodshed.

"Come on. Pictures!" Renee exclaimed, heading towards the living room. I sighed in exasperation, though I was glad that she had enough tact to not try to take pictures of my fumbling fingers earlier. But it was getting hard to concentrate with Edward's hand lightly resting on the small of my back, his thumb tracing light patterns into my skin. Gah.

After a brief round of pictures by the mantle, Christmas tree, and various other places, we said good-bye and made our way outside. Thank God that was over. I wasn't the most photogenic person after the accident, for obvious reasons. But Renee really enjoyed it, so I let her have her fun.

"So, are you going to tell me how we're going to get there?" I asked as Edward helped me slip on my soft white cashmere wrap.

"Well, I was hoping in this, if you're up to it." Edward opened the front door and gestured to the gleaming, black limo that was parked next to my house. I could feel my mouth drop slightly.

"Holy shit, it's a limo," I said faintly as my eyes traced the contours of it. The sleek black form of it looked completely out of place next to my mundane home. I could make out the driver standing in front of it in the darkness, and he tipped his hat towards us when we appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah," Edward said uncertainly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I know you hate cars and everything, but I was hoping you'd give this a chance for tonight. I made sure the driver is very competent and everything. And I'll be right there with you. Of course, if you'd rather not, we can bike." I pressed a finger to his lips to cut off his word vomit. I was still in too much shock to actually say anything else.

I couldn't help but feel inadequate at his words; he was willing to do anything for me, even to bike all the way to a formal dance while wearing an expensive tux. I mulled the choice over in my head. I need to face this phobia eventually. I was already fighting with the whole 1:11 thing and I was getting my social life back together. I would practice my trumpet and ask for another challenge on Monday. I would study hard with Edward for the English test on Monday as well and hopefully not fail this time. Maybe I'll even try out for the tennis team in the spring. And I would make sure I pass high school and go to my dream school: Stanford. Maybe Edward would even go with me. I needed to let Alice go and let the crash remain in the past. I can't let it control my life. The cons of getting in? My phobia. The pros? Being with Edward. Making him happy. Not looking like a complete mess when we walk in those doors. Maybe even breaking my phobia.

I hesitated before taking a step towards the idling limo. Taking my movement to be agreement, Edward wrapped his arm around me comfortingly as I slowly made my way towards the limo. The driver stepped over to the rear doors and opened it for us, smiling benignly. Before he got in, Edward turned around and glanced at me.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do this," Edward said in a low voice, eyebrows crumpled with worry. I reached up to brush his dark hair out of his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his soft skin and his silky hair. I rubbed my thumb over the crinkle in his forehead, trying to smooth out his worry lines.

"Yeah, I'm sure." My voice sounded a lot more confident than I really was, and I was grateful for that. I didn't need to ruin Edward's night by being such a wuss.

Nodding, Edward slid inside and opened his arms for me to fall into. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply once before joining him. I kept my eyes shut as the motor rumbled alive, making me jump. My breathing quickened as I imagined the limo crashing. Oh my God. We're moving. We're moving. Holy fuck. Shit. Fucking fuck. My panicked thoughts were buzzing around in my head, effectively speeding up my heart rate from my panic.

Edward tightened his arms around me, rubbing my back relaxingly. I could feel the tension leaving as I opened my eyes a minute later. He gazed back at me with anxious eyes.

"I'm okay," I said in a shaky voice. "Really." Even if we did crash, the limo is so big that it would be the lesser damaged one… right? I tried to convince myself of this. Edward's here, I thought firmly. It'll be okay. I wasn't completely sure why I was putting so much trust into him, but he made me feel whole again. As silly as it sounded, I felt like nothing could harm me when he was near. There was just that confidence now.

I could feel the flow of the memories pushing against the barrier I built, begging to be let out to wreck more havoc.

"We need some music," I muttered and Edward reached over to press a button. The radio began playing "Shattered" by O.A.R. Really? Was the world really out to get me that much? Oh, the irony was too much.

Edward shot me an anxious look, his hand moving to switch the station, when I reached over to stop it.

"N-no," I stuttered before swallowing to steady my voice. "Leave it on."

I needed to face my demons. I couldn't keep running from them. I didn't want to live like some frightened hermit for the rest of my life. One step at a time. I already got through this song once yesterday without anything horrible happening. I can do it again.

Shudders kept trembling down my body as the ever-familiar lyrics sang over the surround-sound speakers. The tide of memories kept ramming into my mental barrier as I struggled to push it back. I tried to concentrate on Edward's fingers that gently trailed up and down my bare arm.

How many times can I break till I shatter?...

The tide transformed into a tsunami at these words, and I would've broken down completely if it wasn't for Edward and the feel of his lips in my hair. Be strong, I recited to myself as I tensed against the assault. The faint sirens started up along with Alice's familiar screaming from the past.

Give me a break… Yes, please do.

All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered… Story of my life, right?

I could taste the faintness of rust and metal in my mouth as my wall started to crack under the pressure. No, no, no. I could smell the burning metal and rubber now. No, no, no. Stop the torture. I'm sorry for what happened, Alice, but I need to get on with my life.

But I'm good, without you. Yeah, I'm good, without you…

I'm good without you, Alice. I need to let you go. I'm good without you. I'll always remember you, but I need to continue with my life.

I kept repeated those four words in my head, letting it drown out the nine words from hell as they repeated. I'm good without you. I built up my resolve against the memories and slowly, the evidence of the accident in my mind vanished. I'm good without you.

My eyes peeked open, my breathing still accelerated and tremors still rolling down my back. Edward met my eyes with his worried green ones over the soft pounding of the music. They made me feel confident.

"Give me a break let me make my own pattern. All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered. I always turn the car around," I sang under my breath along with the song, slightly out of breath.

Edward smiled softly and tightened his hold on me. "You're so strong, Bella. I love you," he whispered in my ear and those three magic words echoed in my head, drowning out the memories of the accident completely. I love you.

"I love you, too, Edward," I murmured back, a warmth filling me. "Thank you."

I would get through this. I would get better. I would get my life back together. And Edward would be there to help me.

The evil song still thumped over the speakers and the limo still rolled down the roads. I was still shaking, both physically and mentally. But I would fight back. And I would win.

How many times can I break till I shatter?...

A/N: Tada! This story is almost done. Just the dance, maybe an after-the-dance scene, and then the epilogue.

Please R&R! Thanks much, loves! Those who leave reviews get Edward in a tux!