SEX, MONEY, AND SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN

BY SPACEBONGO

Sometimes Blair likes to imagine that had her father been alive he would have told her to try again, to keep trying until Nate eventually had no choice but to fall in love with her.

What if Blair was the party animal and Chuck the straitlaced one? How different would Gossip Girl be then? This is not a straightforward 'personality transplant'. Blair is still Blair with her issues and hang-ups, and Chuck is still very much Chuck, and this is probably the worst summary ever so I shall shut up and let you read.

Warning: Underage, Mature, not really suitable for the squeamish.

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Blair always knew she wasn't good enough. Always knew that she would never keep a man happy how Eleanor Waldorf kept her late husband. And whenever she forgot Eleanor never flinched to tell her.

That is why she supposes she kissed Nate Archibald behind the swing set when she was six years old, to finally prove her mother wrong. But all Nate did was push her to the ground, wiped his lips with the back of a pudgy hand, and told her to keep her cooties to herself. Sometimes Blair likes to imagine that had her father been alive he would have told her to try again, to keep trying until Nate eventually had no choice but to fall in love with her.

But instead of trying again as she wanted to she just moved on to Carter Bazien who was older and handsomer and slipped her his tongue. After Carter she moved onto Jeremy Penarth who expected her to allow his hands to roam; then Daniel (Astoria not Humphrey because even if she was a pre-pubescent slut she wasn't desperate) followed by Trip Mathewson and by the time she returned to Carter Bazien in eighth grade there was very little she hadn't done in the janitor's closet.

Blair supposes she can blame losing her virginity to Carter Bazien's fingers on her mother, or the death of her father, or even Nate's cruel rejection of her in kindergarten. But she knows the truth. She was bored, full up with three bottles of the most expensive Dom money could buy, and absolutely shaking with rage because her best friend had finally gotten asked out by the one boy Blair had always been too afraid to approach.

Chuck Bass.

Chuck had always existed on the periphery of Blair's life. He was Nate's best friend, Serena's crush since kindergarten, Georgina's first kiss in the playground, Carter's first real arch nemesis; he was the heir of Bass Industries, popular, and hosted all of the best parties without ever getting embroiled in any of the scandals they created.

In short he was perfect and in love with Serena. And when they got together in eighth grade nobody was happier than Blair for her best friend.

"He's perfect for you," She had slurred as Serena helped wipe the blood from her thighs after Carter Bazien's less than gentle technique. "Rich, and sweet, and kind, and popular, and clearly still a virgin; but that's good." She touched a strand of Serena's golden hair as it curled from her fringe. "It means he'll try extra hard during your first time. Might even use his tongue." She stuck hers out and wiggled it suggestively until Serena blushed.

"You are such a slut," Serena laughed but it never reached her eyes and Blair rolled her eyes at the lecture she knew was coming. "Please don't do this again Blair. I can't bear seeing you hurt. Promise me."

"Okay," Blair promised seriously her eyes trying to focus on her beautiful friend. "I promise I won't ever lose my virginity again. You have my word, Serena. Want to pinkie swear?"

"I don't know why I bother," Serena threw bloodied toilet paper into the bowl and flushed. Then with a drawn out sigh she called her boyfriend. Her Chuck, the love of her God damned life, and asked him to bring out his limo for her as a 'personal favour'. Blair thought she was going to be sick at the sweet lilt of her best friend's voice and she was; all over Serena's brand new Jimmy Choo's.

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