"Hands," A Criminal Minds fanfiction by PhantomDaae1981

Summary: Reid tries to comfort Hotch during a "deleted scene" from episode "100." Set after JJ takes Jack out of the room, but before Hotch goes back downstairs. Contains slash: Reid/Hotch. Hurt/comfort. Spoilers for "100."

"I worked the case with you, Daddy."

The innocence of a child, so heartbreaking... Jack did not yet know that his mother was dead.

Reid looked at Hotch, saw the blood on his face, on his hands... It was somehow incongruous: How could those hands, which Reid knew to be tender and caring, have killed a man through brute force alone? Granted, Hotch had killed Foyet, the man who had destroyed him, violated him in a way Reid couldn't bear to imagine.

Reid felt that Hotch was becoming more and more a stranger to him. First, there was Hotch's unwillingness to open up about what had happened to him. Reid took Hotch's self-imposed silence very personally; Reid had been so open with Hotch about Reid's own traumas and dysfunctions, and it hurt that Hotch would not allow Reid that same level of trust.

And, now, Hotch had literally beat the life out of someone. What bothered Reid was not the fact that Hotch had killed Foyet; Reid himself had killed unsubs when necessary, because being an FBI agent unfortunately required firing a gun sometimes. But that was just it: Hotch hadn't fired a gun; he had killed Foyet with his bare hands. Hotch certainly had no choice but to kill Foyet, but the method had been so personal...

Reid had no idea how to behave around this stranger whom he loved.

When JJ took Jack out of the room, Reid awkwardly lingered in the doorway. What could he possibly say to Hotch? Should he just follow JJ and Jack, leave Hotch alone?

Hotch was sitting on the window seat, his face buried in his hands. Reid wanted to go to HOtch, to hold him, but he knew better than to follow his instincts. Hotch never allowed anyone, not even Reid, to see him at a vulnerable moment. Reid quietly turned to go back downstairs.

When Hotch spoke, his voice was broken and desperate.

"Reid, wait."

Reid turned around to see tears streaming down Hotch's face. Hotch stood up, tentatively stepping toward Reid. Reid quickly limped toward Hotch, dropping his cane in the process.

They fell into each other's arms. Reid held Hotch close, while Hotch sobbed against Reid's neck. His words were muffled, but Reid heard every one.

"I've lost everything, Reid! I lost Haley, and then I couldn't even save her. He took everything from me; I don't even have myself anymore, because he took it. There's nothing left; I have nothing left."

"That's not true, Hotch," Reid murmured. "You still have your son. And you have... You have me."

Hotch pulled away and looked into Reid's eyes. Hotch's hands were in Reid's hair; his hands were gentle, not the hands of a killer at all.

"What's going to happen now?" Hotch whispered.

"I don't know," Reid admitted. "But it's going to be okay. I promise you, everything is going to be okay."

Hotch took a step backwards, suddenly stone-faced.

"I have to see Haley."

"I understand," Reid nodded.

As Hotch descended the stairs, Reid picked up his cane and sat down on the window seat.

Hotch had finally opened up to him, even if only for a brief moment. And Reid knew that it might be quite some time before Hotch showed his emotions so honestly again.

But Reid would be there, waiting.

~The End~