A/N: This is my very first Star Trek fan fic. This is inspired by two stories dealing with Nyota (Five Times Nyota Refused to be Saved…. & Nyota Chooses Her Destiny) After reading them, I wondered, what would happen if she was transferred? What choices would she make? Just my interpretation of events. Definite respect to the two authors of these stories. They really got my creative juices flowing! I'm not the best at writing, so please forgive me any mistakes in timeline, universes etc. It may be a bit OOC. As always, I own nothing

A/N: (update) A few things first:

Based on the two stories mentioned, Spock has left Nyota for Kirk after Spock Prime has urged him to do so. In this story Nyota decides to leave. This is the aftermath of their actions. Enjoy!

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Nyota stared across the vast expense of space. She had been at this spot more times than she could count, reminiscing, dreaming, and loving. Now, it was simply another spot in a place that held so many bad feelings, hurt and torn emotions whose jagged edges scraped against her consciousness.

She sighed and turned from the sight of so many stars blazing in the distance and returned to packing. She had thought it would be easy to pack all of her memories into bags and leave, but the packing was trying. As her hands brushed against each item, it brought to her memories of her early days with Spock.

She held back tears as she traced delicate fingers across a Vulcan novel that Spock had given to her back on earth. She had loved that book. It was a set of Vulcan love poems and had been written in the oldest dialect of Vulcan. She remembered the look of love upon Spock's face as she had happily accepted the gift. She sighed. He had loved her then. But no longer.

She continued packing and was so engrossed in her actions she didn't hear the sound of someone coming into the room and standing behind her.

"Nyota,"

She turned. Spock Prime. Of course. He had probably accessed the code to her room during their mind meld. She wondered briefly if he was secretly pleased she was leaving.

"What is it? Don't you have what you want?," she held back her anger, though it managed to lace itself around each syllable and the stoic Vulcan stepped back as if he'd been slapped.

"You do not have to leave, Nyota."

"Yes," she told him, "I do."

He said nothing for a moment and simply watched as she shoved items into a bag.

"Nyota, I realize that I've made a tremendous mistake, but do not punish--,"

Her acrid laughter rent the air and she stopped packing to stare at him. "Punish? Who exactly am I punishing? You? Kirk? Spock? What have I done to deserve all this?! Can you answer that?"

The elder Vulcan was at a loss for words. It was a strange sensation. He nodded slowly. She was right. She had done nothing wrong.

"You used me. You all did. Spock used me as an excuse to allow himself to feel human. Kirk uses me as his excuse to feel superior and to hide the fact that he's really just some small time jerk that got his position through luck and with a lot of help. And you used me to me to make yourself feel right at home here. After all, who was I except a dull memory that sings, laughs and makes everyone feel merry?"

He reached for her hand and she slapped him away. "No. You do not get to touch me. Not ever again! I am a real person with real ambitions. I realize now that I am more than just a pretty face and a support system for Kirk's bravado. I gave up so much. And I am tired of feeling crappy everyday. I'm tired of Kirk and Spock thinking I've done something wrong and I'm tired of you. I'm tired of all this."

The elder Spock stood silent during her tirade and gave an almost inaudible sigh. A tear trailed down his cheek and he told her sadly, "I will never see you again."

"No, not if I can help it."

"For what it is worth Nyota, I will always consider you a friend."

"Well, don't have any hurt feelings if I don't feel the same way."

Such bitterness. Such pain. Had he truly caused this? Where was the wonderful, warm woman who had served beside him for years? His confidante and friend? Who was this caustic creature who seemed so distant from him? So angry?

He blinked back tears as watched her continue to pack. It was his fault. All of it. He had no idea that he would be the cause of so much turmoil. He was about to speak and then thought better of it. He turned to leave, his feet rushing silently across the floor. She barely looked up as the doors opened and he stepped outside.

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