A/N: This is for the 'I Heart Rogan Christmas Challenge'. I am probably going to fail miserably at this because I've decided to make this funny… yep you heard me. I am going to try my hat at humor. If you don't know my writing style, then know this. I am not very good when it comes to humor. That is funny because I am a rather funny person in general. But I don't know writing dark themes has always been my thing. Anyhoo… comic-cake posted her story up today so I guess I should do mine as well. So here it is. Don't make to much fun of it okay?
Convincing the Wolverine
"Happy New Year!" Jubilee shouted out as she leaned haphazardly on the bar in front of her.
"Jubes honey Christmas is only a day away. You've got almost a week before New Years," I sputtered off as I took another swig of my Southern Comfort and Coke. The burning liquid fell nicely down my seemingly parched throat.
"Ah Buh Hum Bug! I like New Years better!" Jubilee protested as she sloshed her margarita over the counter. The bartender in front of us didn't look amused as he continued to shake his cocktail shaker. I let my eyes fall back onto my drunken friend.
"Jubilee lets try not to make any more Ebenezer Scrooge references okay?" Kitty suggested as she sipped on her non-alcoholic beverage all the while patty her poor drunken friend on the shoulder. Thank whatever being was above that we decided to bring a designated driver along.
"Speaking of Scrooges…," Jubilee trailed off as her eyes landed on a figure behind me. I turned slowly to see what had dragged Jubilee's attention away from her half empty margarita glass. I lowered my eyes in a glare that was note worthy.
Standing at the entrance of the bar was the man in question. I leveled my eyes at him, my anger from earlier in the evening coming back full force. He was the whole reason why we were all here, getting drunk the day before Christmas. I finished off my drink and tapped the bar for my third drink of the evening. The bartend was quick to reply.
"Rogue…," Logan grounded out from behind me. I didn't turn to acknowledge him as I took a sip of my newly replenished drink.
"Now look here Mr. Scrooge!" Jubilee began as she tried (and failed) to stand up straight, her finger poking Logan rather affectively in the chest. I looked over a Kitty who only rolled her eyes in dismay. "My girl Rogue here doesn't want anything to do with you! You no good lying bastard!"
I looked at Jubilee in astonishment and then turned to Logan, my drink in my hand, as I pointed at Jubilee. "Yep, just what she said."
Logan looked between me and Jubilee, probably trying to determine who he should kill first. In the end I figure he decided that killing Jubilee would be more hassle than she was worth and well killing me would end a lot of really nice things too. A lot of nice things he enjoyed.
"Look kid," he began and I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my delicious Southern Comfort and Coke, "I love ya, but there ain't anything in this world that's going to make me do what you've asked me to do."
"But Logan you're the only one who can fit!" I slurred in indignation. "Scott's too tall and Hank is blue!"
"I like blue," I heard Jubilee mumble as she continued to nurse her drink.
"That's not the point darlin'," Logan tried to soften and I could only glare daggers up at him. I hate it when he moved from calling me kid to darling.
"Then what's the point? You promised me remember? You promised last night before we did that thing that you really enjoy that you would do anything I asked of you. So now I am asking and you won't do it," I clarified for him. He looked at me as if I had completely and totally lost it. I probably had but that's beside the point.
"See!" Jubilee hollered, "you are a no good lying bastard!"
Logan looked over at Jubilee and gave her one of his infamous death glares. It started to make her giggle, uncontrollably, which caused the rest of her drink to spill on the floor. Most of the drink splashed onto Logan's favorite blue jeans and cowboy boots. He shook his left leg dislodging most of it before returning to our conversation.
"I didn't think your promise would entail me dressing up in a Santa Suite and ring a god damn bell all day long!" He hollered at me. I only looked down at my drink as I took another gulp.
"Details Logan, it's all in the details," I slurred into my drink as I looked back up at him, "it's not my fault you didn't ask to read the fine print."
He growled at me. Literally, that man growled at me. I was taken aback. He never growls at me on purpose. But one look from Jubilee and Kitty and I knew I couldn't back down. So I mustered up what was left of my conscious resolve, pushed back shoulders and pleaded my argument.
"You promised me Logan and if you can't keep your promises well then I'll…I'll get upset for sure!" I said in a not to convincing sort of voice. "And now I won't ever be able to wear that cute little red and white silk night gown I bought for you today."
There was a long pause.
"What?" Logan asked me befuddled quickly catching up in the conversation. He looked at me as if I had some how miraculously thrown a wrench into his plan.
"Well Jubilee, Kitty and I figured that it wasn't very fair to you that you got to dress up in a Santa Suit all day long. So we took it upon ourselves to buy me one as well. I mean it's only fair that I have to wear that skimpy silk red and white Santa costume we picked up at Victoria Secret today along with those attaching candy cane stripped stockings to match it," I pouted pathetically in an attempt to seem like I was really, really disappointed.
"Darlin' what are you talkin' about?" Logan asked as he moved in closer to me. It was then that Jubilee thrust a very large hot pink bag into my arms.
"Here!" She hollered unknowingly I assure you.
I sat my drink down on the counter and reached in side, moving the matching hot pink paper a side. It was then that very slowly I removed the under garments I had planned to use to surprise Logan with after his day of torture dressed up as Santa Clause.
"It was going to be a surprise," I said faking tears as I held up the barely there Santa themed night gown. I watched as Logan's eyes grew wide at the realization of what I was holding. He took another step towards me, a dangerous look in his eyes.
"But now I'll have to take it back because you're not going to dress up," I continued to pout as if this was some how breaking my fragile feminine heart.
"You know what kid?" Logan began, his eyes never leaving the scrap of cloth I was calling a night gown. "I don't think dressing up for those kids will be all that bad. Why don't you come with me and we'll work everything out, okay?"
I sniffled rather pathetically as both Jubilee and Kitty hid there snickering behind their drinks. I took another sip of my barely drunk drink and nodded woefully to my girlfriends.
Both of them where having trouble holding back their laughter as Logan carefully helped me down from my bar stool. It was on the way out of the bar that I heard Jubilee's familiar bark of laughter from behind me.
"Can you believe he fell for that?"
A/N: Ta Da!!! That's about as funny as I can get… yeah I know super depressing right? Anyways, you can actually buy that night at Victoria Secret. I was just there, so trust me I ain't kiddin' yea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and review so I can win alright?