NARUTO :

"The Secret Meetings Of

Akatsuki''

Chapter : One.

Madara Uchiha stood on his finger and stared at the other members of Akatsuki. He sighed and then looked at Hidan.

"So ,'' Madara began , "Welcome one and all to the new super powered evil organization Akatsuki.''

Everyone clapped. An orange masked boy raised his hand. Madara sighed. "Yes , Tobi ?''

"Tobi wants a pony ,'' the orange masked boy stated.

"Sure , okay ,'' Madara said , "Konan , go get him a pony. Okay. Now that we're an evil organization we can finally bring our true goal to order.'' He rose his fist in the air. "WORLD DOMINATION !'' Everyone stared at him. "What ? What's wrong ? Why are you all staring at me ?''

"Isn't world domination going a little too far ? ,'' Pein asked.

"No ,'' he said , "World domination is crucial for our survival. If we don't take over the world then someone else with a stronger group and stronger jutsu would kill us and then we'd be kaput.'' Tobi rose his hand. Madara sighed. "Yes , Tobi ? What is it ?''

"Tobi just got really really really cool idea ,'' the orange masked boy said.

Madara sighed.

"Fine ,'' he said , "Let's hear it.''

"Tobi thinks we should capture all the tailed beasts and then use them to rule the world ,'' Tobi stated , "Doesn't that sound stupendous or what ?''

"He has a point ,'' Pein said.

"Eh. . . . .I don't know about that idea particularly ,'' Madara replied , "His idea has class. I'll give him that , but we need a plan so evil , so vile , so. . . . .

"Vicious ? ,'' Konan asked.

"Thank you , Konan ,'' he replied , "A plan so vicious that it would make Orochimaru's plan to brainwash all the little boys and rape them look like a cat fart.''

"HEY ! ,'' Orochimaru shouted from his finger on the hand.

"I've got it ,'' Deidre said.

All the Akatsuki members stared at their blonde comrade.

"We can each hide in a closet and -

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ! ,'' Tobi sang.

"TOBI , SHUT UP ! ,'' Deidre shouted.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA !''

"TOBI ! ,'' he shouted.

"LA LA LA LA - AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !''

Deidre kicked him off of his finger and the masked ninja fell to the ground with a thud. "Ow. Tobi hurt.''

Madara blinked and shook his head.

"Alright ,'' he said , "Let's try to stay focused people. Come on.''

Everyone started thinking.

"I wonder what Deidre looks like naked ? ," Itachi thought.

"I want cookies ," Tobi thought.

"Rape. Rape. Rape. Rape ," Orochimaru thought.

"I wish I had bigger boobs ," Konan thought.

"Teddy Bear. No. Sugar. Yeah. Sugar. No. Teddy Bear ," Deidre thought.

"I've got small balls ," Sasori thought.

"I like soap ," Kisame thought.

"I like bubbles in my bath ," Zetsu thought.

"I need to pee ," Pein thought.

"World domination ," Madara thought , "Alright. Everyone have an idea ?''

They all nodded. "Let's hear it.'' Tobi rose his hand. "Yes , Tobi ?''

"Tobi wants cookies ,'' Tobi replied.

Madara sighed.

"I said think of an evil plan , Tobi ,'' he said , "Not cookies.''

"Oh ,'' Tobi said.

"I have a plan ,'' Deidre stated.

"Oh ? ,'' Madara replied turning to the blonde ninja , "Let's hear it then.''

"Alright ,'' he stated , "Prepare to be blown away , fuckers. I think we should all buy teddy bears and kiss them goodnight.''

Madara stared at him in shock.

"I've got small balls ,'' Sasori said.

"WHAT ?! ,'' Madara shouted.

"I - ,'' Kisame started.

Suddenly a harpoon went flying through the air and stabbed Kisame through the chest. Kisame looked down. "Oh. . . . .fuck.'' Everyone looked at their fish comrade. "Bye bye.'' Kisame waved at the other Akatsuki members and then fell off of his finger. His body fell to the ground. Madara blinked.

"What the fuck ? ,'' he asked , "What the fuck just happened to Kisame ?''

"I'll find the culprit ,'' Itachi said , "How dare he do that to my ever so cool friend Kisame.'' Itachi jumped off his finger. Then he remembered he couldn't fly. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !'' CRASH ! Itachi broke his neck.

"What the fuck ? ,'' Madara asked , "That's two dead members in one day and one of them was a family member. Oh , Itachi I shall miss you. Well I'm getting tired. You can all go home now. Meetings over. See you all next week.''

Madara walked off. The other Akatsuki all walked off.

End Of Chapter : 1.