Mel: oh my gawd I fail at updating, I'll make sure to do a proper update of fics this weekend I swear

Bakura: Why are we doing author notes in script format?

Marik: Shut up kitty.

Mel: So like apparently I'm in this chapter because people actually give a damn whether I'm in the story or not. Or at least I'm making that assumption because uh idk gomenasai

Bakura: Marik's so kawaii desu

Marik: I'm going to do something different and speak English while the readers read on.

8. Nothing like whoring yourself in your fanfics

Mel was sitting on her computer chair typing fanfiction when she decided to watch her favourite anime Durarara – oh for story purposes let's make it Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters. So she saved her work – oh let's face it, she attempted to update Bloody Brilliant when she thought about how hot it would be to get with favourite bishies – gee I wonder if she'll somehow get teleported to the world of Yu-Gi-Oh?

So Mel typed in youtube for an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh when Yami no Mel aka Mell bopped up because yanno, if authors can get away with Malik/Marik then Mel can get away with Mel/Mell. Go figure.

"Oh my gawd Bakura is like, so hawt," Mell fangirled. Mel raised an eyebrow. This is her yami? Okay whatever, she'll roll with that. Mell batted her hardcore eyelashes as she stared at the computer screen with colour-changing eyes wow look she's magic. "Like, I would tap that in public. Totally."

The episode just happened to be one that starred like every character such as Yami, Yugi, Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda, Otogi, Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik, Shadi, Mai, Shizuka, Seto, Mokuba and another fifty characters or so. And Mell managed to fangirl over every single one whilst growing some weirdo angel wings. Mel began to think her yami was a bit of a freak. And just as Yami put three cards in facedown mode, the computer screen began to glow in response to Mell's Millennium Coffee Mug.

But because nobody ever disappears through computer screens into their favourite shows, Mel and Mell were zapped in through the television even though neither have ever watched Yu-Gi-Oh on their TV.

Mell and Mel fell through the sky and died when they hit the ground like people normally would when they fall from such a height. Oh wait, that's not enough author self-insert whoring – okay Mel fell into the arms of Seto Kaiba and Mell fell into the arms of Marik Ishtar. Dunno which Marik though, most authors assume you know which one from the beginning so I'll take the same approach too.

"...Did we just watch Yu-Gi-Oh on our computer but get zapped through the TV?" Mel questioned her yami. "Wow, it's like this fanfiction decided to screw logic."

Seto raised an eyebrow, not bothering to react to the fact a stranger fell out of the sky and landed directly in his arms like he was actually trying to catch her. "Did it screw logic because it had money?"

"Nope."

"That bastard."

"Ohemgee it's Marik," Mell squeed all over Marik. Lovely. Good first impression.

Marik decided to ignore this to gasp at Mell's Millennium Coffee Mug. "My god! It's the exclusive 78th Millenium Item!" He tried to grab it but Mell swatted his hand.

"Down boy! I bought this from insert mysterious character here who may or may not show up in plot later!" Mell snapped as she jumped out of Marik's arms.

Mel rolled his eyes. "Are Millennium Items like, everywhere now or something?"

Seto shrugged. "I dunno; I'm too busy getting a boner from that God Card in your pocket."

"Cool story." Mel eventually decided to check her pocket like ohmahgasp there was indeed a God Card in her pocket! How the eff did she not notice that being there? "Uh..." she pulled the card to take a proper look. "It's actually a Pokémon card with a picture of Zac Efron's face taped on it," she pointed out with a frown.

This didn't seem to change much. "Yeah, it's still a God Card," Marik replied as he blatantly checked Mell out because she was totes the resident hottie. "Anyway, why did you fall out of the sky?"

"Why aren't you with Kitty?"

"You mean Florence?"

"Totes."

"He's on a hunt with his Gaydar."

Seto raised a hand. "He better not be screwing rules without any money. Or else I'll drop an ego bomb on him. And if you think that's big, you should see my ego."

Mel wondered why Abridged references were being zapped into the fanfic. It's as if the author can't come up with their own jokes. Then she remembered a crucial detail. She is the author!

So some evil dude uh Steve showed up. "Marik and Mel shall never get together!" he declared. "And neither shall Seto and Mell!"

Mell rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. I landed in Marik's arms and Mel landed in Seto's. We can't just hint at pairings that conflict with one another, yanno! Why do you think Yami never makes a move on Ryou in a Puzzleshipping fanfiction?"

Steve blinked. "Oh my gawd you just stopped me with your Millennium Coffee Mug." Boom, he go explode.

Marik pouted. "There's just one thing I don't get, Mell."

Mell raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"If you're Mel's yami, how come you and Mel have separate bodies?"

Let's end on original material.

"Because shut up."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Gomenasai for whatever reason I haven't conjured up yet.

Though I'll admit, YGOTAS fics actually do bug me more often than not. Because YGOTAS is good stuff and all but I don't need to read the same stuff in fanfics too. =/

Adios!

Mel-Girl.

PS. btw my yami is so like totally cool best yami OC ever XP