I was bored and had some daydreams of odd situations involving YuGiOh characters. So I felt like writing mini drabbles/oneshots. As Malik, Bakura and Ryou are my favourites, they'll probably appear the most frequently. The shippings will vary and mostly be different combinations of ships between Malik, Mariku and the Bakurae. XD Oh and Puzzle, Pride and Puppy will appear a bit too. Maybe some het and yuri too. It's just some random messed up drabbles.

Plus I like to write the occasional thing that isn't a serious fanfic and all~

The first one here focuses on a popular subject in YGO fanfiction. So I guess this sort of parodies it. And this one contains hintings of Puzzle, Tender and Bronze, I guess. XD I think only Puzzle has the proper fluff here, rofl.

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1. Abuse is only a way of showing your love... apparently.

It was that time in the week where the hikaris would all get together for afternoon tea at Yugi's house. That's right! It's a Sunday. Because all good hikaris go to school during the week. That's why it's not on a Thursday or some other lame day like that.

As Ryou came through the door and came into the living room of the Mutou household, Yugi and Malik stopped their conversation to gasp.

"Ryou! You're covered in cuts and bruises!" Yugi cried in alarm. Ryou shrugged and took a seat on the couch next to Malik. "What happened?"

Malik averted his eyes to Yugi. "Aren't you forgetting that Ryou suffers from daily abuse from his yami?" Yugi's eyes widened and Malik gasped again. "Oh my goodness! You don't know? My yami abuses me too. He likes to give me the good ol' whack with a baseball bat every now and again."

Yugi's jaw dropped. "Are you for real? Shouldn't we call the police?"

Ryou and Malik shook their heads. "No way," Ryou responded, "I love my yami far too much even though he stripped me away of all dignity when I was underage." Malik nodded in agreement.

Yugi was puzzled. "My yami never abuses me. If he did, I would do something about it!"

"You can't do that to your soulmate!" Ryou replied with a frown. Malik again, nodded in agreement. Ryou then turned to Malik. "Say, is that a lump on your forehead?"

"Yup!" Malik grinned. "Mariku got me good with the Millenium Rod! So, what did Bakura do to you this time?" He leaned in closer to Ryou, eager to hear the latest abuse story. Yugi said nothing, hoping that maybe hearing the story would end this confusion.

"Well, he had no reason whatsoever for his actions but he picked me up and threw me across the room whilst yelling, 'I love you koi!' It felt amazing..." Ryou explained with a dreamy, far away look in his eyes. Yugi raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that a bit masochistic?"

Ryou shook his head. "No, I don't like being abused. But I love my yami enough so I can overlook the blatant relationship flaws."

"And that makes everything better!" Malik chimed in with a grin. He and Ryou high-fived each other.

Yugi scratched his head. "And doesn't 'koi' mean fish? Do you really want your yami referring to you as a fish?"

Malik frowned. "Koi sounds cute. Don't be hating!" The Egyptian stood up and pointed at Yugi in a dramatic fashion. "I get the feeling that your yami has never ever abused you!" Ryou gasped and joined Malik with staring at Yugi in shock.

"Well... yeah?" Yugi shrugged. "Isn't being abused by someone well... bad?"

"My goodness... Your yami obviously does not care enough for you!" Ryou said in disbelief. Malik did a facepalm. Ryou turned to Malik. "Can we really count Yugi as being a hikari when his yami isn't evil enough to beat him up every now and then?"

"Obviously not! Yugi, you're out of the club!" Malik decided out of the blue. He swivelled around to face Ryou. "Hey Ryou, Mariku's wanting to try out his new battering ram on me! Wanna come watch?"

"Okay!"

And with that, the two abused hikaris left the house in a huff. Yugi spent some moments trying to understand the situation but felt that it didn't compute. Yami entered the living room and was greeted by a tackle hug from his hikari.

"Whoa, hey! I saw Malik and Ryou leaving. They looked like they'd survived an ambush or something. What's up?"

Yugi pulled away from Yami and sighed. "Are we weird?"

"Of course not!" Yami shook his head. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, Malik and Ryou think I'm weird because I'm the only hikari that hasn't been abused by my yami..."

Yami put a hand to his own chin in thought. "Ah, I see..." His eyes widened. "Wait, what the hell did you just say?!"

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Enjoy? I'll probably do some more. Feel free to make suggestions, I may use them. Just no bashing character suggestions btw. Heck, just gimme a word and knowing my mind, something odd will come from that. XDD So um, review? XD

Adios!

Mel-Girl.

Next: How does one define a hikari and yami anyway?