Title: Thanksgiving
Author: catastrophe
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Claire/Gretchen
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Takes place two to three weeks after Shadowboxing. Claire hasn't seen or heard from Gretchen since she left, and is having to sit through a Thanksgiving feast she really doesn't want to be at. Gretchen makes an unexpected appearance after an unforgettable dinner.
Author's Notes: I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, before the episode aired. Using the promo pictures as my inspiration, this is how I hoped the episode would progress. Enjoy :) Reviews are appreciated.
Warning: There is some language; I hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Claire

Even in the dim light of the bathroom, Claire could see that her normal cloudy blue eyes had darkened to their murky shade of green. She didn't always know what caused the change of color in her eyes, but the green always seemed to overshadow the blue when she was in this kind of mood.

She was pissed… and she wasn't entirely sure why.

She stared blankly down at the sink as she washed her hands. Thinking about her eyes, her mind absently wandered… Her thoughts flitted over the events of the past few weeks and halted on a single image…

A different pair of eyes…

She was no longer staring into the green of her own eyes, but rather the shifting green and brown in a set of hazel eyes. She froze at the memory, staring off into space. She watched as those eyes dipped down for a second, glancing at Claire's lips, before drifting back up to meet her gaze. She shivered. Those eyes that once made her smile and feel warmed to her toes, now made her stomach sink and her eyes water. It took her a few seconds, but she soon realized she was thinking about Gretchen. She shook her head quickly, clearing the image from her mind.

She'd been doing that for weeks. Whether she was cleaning or studying, she'd catch herself stopping in midstride because just a single, fleeting thought of Gretchen was so overpowering. Why did just the thought of her affect Claire so much? Gretchen made her choice and she left. There was no reason to think about her anymore. But that didn't stop the pain of rejection she felt under her calm exterior. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep forever…

But it was Thanksgiving… and she was having dinner with her family.

Claire took a second to compose herself. They haven't even started to eat yet, but she had to take a breather from the dysfunctional Brady Bunch sitting at the dining room table. Sitting there, acting like everything was okay, made her want to scream. So, she had excused herself from the table.

Claire sighed as she dried off her hands and left the bathroom again; as much as she'd like to, she couldn't hide out forever.

She stopped just inside the dining room to examine the strange guests she'd be sharing the holiday with. She knew, of course, that she was going to have to spend the day with at least one of her parents, but her dad had spoken to her mom and arranged for them all to have Thanksgiving at her house… as a family… Apparently using the word "family" very loosely considering both of her parents decided to bring a plus one to the dinner… And I do not believe they're relatives, Claire thought bitterly.

Sitting at the head of the table was her father… and next to him was Lauren… "an old friend from work," he had said. However, their shared smiles and side glances indicated that they were more than "just friends". And then, to make matters worse, next to Dad sat her mother… with the man she had been seeing recently. Could this get any more awkward? Claire thought, agitated. She put on a tight smile and took her seat again.

"Oh, you're just in time, Claire. We're going to do a toast before we dig into this lovely meal your mother cooked for us," her father said (did she detect a bit of sarcasm in his voice?). The others quickly ceased their conversation and raised their glasses with her dad. Noticing her hesitation, they all looked at Claire expectantly. Her cheeks felt like they were starting to cramp from the fake smile she kept plastered on her face. She raised her glass.

Breaking the stern look he had been giving his daughter, he glanced around the rest of the table, "Here's to peace and prosperity… and good will towards men." The others verbalized their agreement as everyone clinked their glasses together.

Claire didn't say anything. She clinked with a few glasses and took a sip. Her dad had let her have real wine (even though she wasn't of age) so that she could bask in every aspect of the holiday. The sentiment was lost on her, though. The alcohol didn't faze her. She only grimaced at the bitter liquid that slithered down her throat, hoping that just this once it would do what it was supposed to do… to dull whatever it was she was feeling. But, of course, it didn't… Because I'm not like them, she thought. She sighed, defeated.

Her dad shot her a look from across the table as he leaned in to carve the turkey. The others carried on with their previous conversation, oblivious to Claire's sour mood that had been unwavering since they arrived. He didn't know what to do with her. She had been in this rut ever since Gretchen packed up and left. Who knew they were so close? If he had known that she'd still be depressed after all this time, he would have done something. He shook his head, a frown creasing his brow. But what could I have done? Though he couldn't think of anything, he still knew that somehow what happened to her friend was his fault. He only hoped that his email from earlier in the day had reached its' recipient… and that it wouldn't be too long before he heard back from her.

His thoughts were interrupted by laughter; Lauren had cracked a joke. They shared a small, private smile with each other. He had to hand it to her. This was probably the most awkward meal he had ever endured, but she seemed to be handling herself well.

Claire witnessed the small flirtatious exchange between her dad and the new woman… it almost raised bile in her throat. It's not like she didn't want her parents to be happy, but everything about the situation grated on her nerves. Her parents belonged together… they both knew about her secret, they both loved her… Could they say the same thing about these new people they were introducing to their family? Would they accept Claire? Love her as her parents did? She doubted it.

Claire had found the one person she thought she could trust over anyone… a person that she had enjoyed such an intimate friendship with that she just knew… that they'd always be together.

But where is she now? Claire thought bitterly.

She mentally scorned herself for making it about Gretchen. Although deep down she knew that the root of her irritation had something to do with her former roommate, something else was bothering her.

Why were her parents acting like this?

After everything Claire had been put through, especially recently, she would love to have a chance at a normal life. But, as recent events concluded… that wasn't possible. If she couldn't even hold on to her best friend slash… whatever else Gretchen was to her... why bother? But here her parents were… shitting away what was left of their relationship by showing up to dinner with these two strangers… How could they? Claire couldn't understand how two people that had every chance to live a normal, happy, married life would piss it all away.

The whole bitter sweet conversation being shared between the other four at the table made her sick. It was obvious to her that her mom only brought her guy friend to hurt her dad… And her dad only brought this Lauren woman to make her mom jealous.

When I can't even share the holiday with the one person I would love to have sitting across the table from me, how can they take advantage of how easy they have it?

"So Claire, what are you going to college for?" Lauren turned her inquisitive blue eyes towards the young girl.

Claire used her fork to poke at the piece of turkey now sitting on her plate, feeling irritated by the unwanted attention. I don't know you, why are you trying to talk to me at my family's dinner table? Just let me sulk in peace.

She smiled another tight smile, "To learn?"

The few glanced at each other and chuckled uncomfortably, but her father gave her a warning look. Lauren's smile seemed to be strained now, too. "Heh, no, I meant umm… what are you studying? What do you want to do when you graduate?"

Claire stared down at her plate, refusing to look up as she continued to play with her food. Hoping to end the conversation, she responded curtly, "I'm undeclared." Lauren dropped her gaze and continued with her meal, thoroughly chided; she considered the subject officially closed. Thank God, Claire thought. Sandra's male friend however (what was his name again?) didn't take the hint.

"Well, what kinds of things are you interested in?" he asked, maybe hoping to lighten the college student's mood. Noah, however, could see that his question had the opposite effect. Claire's hand tightened on her fork. Noah cleared his throat hoping to discourage whatever she was about to say.

Claire shot him a quick look, smiling sweetly, before turning to the complete stranger with mock cheerfulness in her voice, "Oh, I don't know… reading, writing…. jumping off bridges… catching on fire…" she paused to take a bite of turkey, "…that sort of thing."

What's His Face seemed confused; he looked around the rest of the table nervously. Sandra and Lauren shifted uncomfortably in their seats while Noah looked enraged.

"Claire…" he said warningly.

She ignored him. She turned back to the man next to her. "What? You've never jumped off a bridge and survived before?" she laughed incredulously. "Well, it can be done," she stated as if it were the most normal thing in the world, "Watch." Without hesitating, she grabbed the knife sitting next to her plate, and before anyone could make a move to stop her, she dragged the blade down the underside of her arm, making a slice from her wrist to the crook of her elbow. "See?" She held up her arm for the man to watch the wound close itself back again… only leaving the traces of blood as evidence.

And the man's first reaction, as Claire suspected: he fell backwards out of his chair. Sandra jumped up and ran to get a washrag from the kitchen. Noah had already jumped out of his chair and detained the hysterical man while he got his cell phone out to call the Haitian. Lauren just sat there, shock written all over her face. Claire took it as her cue; Guess family time is over, she thought. She pushed back from the table and went up to her room.

Before she could think twice about it, she started packing up her bags… as she'd seen Gretchen do weeks before. I don't belong here, she thought.

As she stuffed her bags, a phantom voice repeated itself in her head... The same voice that had been haunting her for weeks. She paused with a shirt in her hand as she saw Gretchen... once again... staring at her with tear filled eyes…

"I'm just... not like you."

She continued to throw things into her bag, trembling uncontrollably. The calm rage she had felt at the table slowly dissipated and turned back into the mind numbing pain she'd been feeling for weeks. Samuel was right… the only way not to have to deal with this is by not having to. She briefly thought of the compass he had tried to give her. There's no way she could find the carnival without it.

I don't need the carnival. I'll just go somewhere where no one knows me, where my dad can't even find me… and I'll stay secluded. No one needs to know what I can do… I don't need a normal life.

Although the words in her head sounded brave, the tears that had brimmed her eyes now spilled over… and she began to cry again for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She grabbed her teddy bear and sat next to her bed, sobbing quietly into her stuffed friend.

I don't ever want to feel like this again.

It wasn't until then that she realized what it was that made her so miserable. She knew she had been upset about Gretchen's departure, but up until that moment she had convinced herself that she only missed the girl as a friend. She's more than that, Claire concluded as the sobs racked her body. She wasn't just depressed over the loss of her friend… her heart was broken. How could someone who claimed to care so much for her leave her like that?

She cut off her thoughts there… she didn't want to think about it anymore. She didn't want to feel or think about anything anymore. So, she cried. She cried until she was exhausted…

The Haitian made it to the Bennet house in no time. As Sandra cleaned up the mess, Noah and Renee took the two shocked adults into the other room to wipe their memories. Sandra threw the washrag back on the sink before returning to their abandoned Thanksgiving meal. What am I going to do with that girl? She thought. She started towards the room where their guests had been escorted but stopped when she heard the doorbell ring. She frowned, changing her direction to head towards the front door. Who could that possibly be? Don't they have some family they should be with?

Sandra reached for the door and pulled it open. It was dark, but Sandra could still see the unexpected guest clearly enough. It took a few seconds before she recognized the quiet stranger. She squinted up at the tall girl.

"It's Gretchen… right?"