Disclaimer: DA:O is the intellectual property of Bioware and EA Games, I am neither.

Title: Stumble

Rating: M [NSFW and darn proud :: adult situations]

Pairing: Fem!Cousland/Alistair

Summary: [Chapter 1] After a particularly brutal nightmare, Alistair joins Elissa on watch.

Wordcount: [Chapter 1] 3,042

Alistair smelled like smoke. With a fire burning constantly, Elissa supposed that they all did. The scent coiled and seeped into everything; clothes, hair, books.

A few feet away from the fire, her face rested against the cooling cloth of his tunic. It was rare that she'd seen him without any armor, but Alistair had joined her from a deep (slobbering, Shale would muse) sleep to join her in her watch.

So he said. She had heard him in his tent. Elissa knew that the nightmares distressed him as much as, if not more than her. Alistair would never say it, but being connected to the archdemon left him chilled. They touched that evil with their souls, and he didn't want to be alone.

On the nights that the archdemon blazed through her, she felt the same way. Elissa wanted to surround herself with life and joy and nothing brought her more joy than him.

They lay together, tentatively scooting closer to each other for the last half hour or so, until his hand was finally cradling the back of her head, loosely twirling strands of her hair. She grinned at his heart's jump. All from moving to touch her hair. It was desperately sweet.

"This is dangerous. A man could fall asleep like this." Alistair's voice wasn't particularly hushed. Everyone had gone to sleep hours ago, his own voice was still thick with sleep. She wondered if this was the the longest he'd been both conscious and silent, since she'd met him.

"Mmm. Stay awake then. Watch is a sacred duty." Her voice was lazy and effortless. She shifted her hand from it's splayed position on his chest. Her fingers were raised, forefinger passing in gentle, slow circles. His heart jumped and Elissa grinned again, she hadn't intended anything lecherous. She just wanted to be connected with him, to touch him in a way that he deserved to be touched. His heart gradually returned to it's regular steady, heady rhythm.

It was dangerous. She could fall asleep right now, so perfect was her contentment. "We can't fall asleep."

"No... that would be bad. Not bad, wonderful really. Maker, I'm exhausted." His free hand grasped her circling fingers, shyly intertwining them with his own.

"Go back to your tent then. I can handle this." Elissa regretted the words instantly. She could do this on her own, but hated the idea of his warm body being anywhere but beneath her own.

"Oh please... what if some bandits happen upon camp?" She almost stated that she was more than capable of handling it but she was beginning to recognize his tones. He was setting himself up for a diatribe. "You'd beat them to a pulp and I'd get to have none of the fun."

"Bandits are jinxed you know. Say the word and they appear."

"What word?"

"Bandits."

"Hmmm. Nothing." Alistair looked toward the brush where Dog slept protectively. "None over there." She brushed her cheek against his tunic, settling closer to him.

"Maybe you just aren't asking nicely enough."

"Maybe I need to call them by name."

"Perhaps."

"Too bad I don't personally know any bandits."

"Yes, that is a pity."

"Devastating. It's terrible how you run potential contacts through, before we can even introduce ourselves properly."

"I'll work on that." Elissa snipped, and he pulled her closer still. He pressed a quick kiss to her hair. It was light but she hadn't imagined it.

"Andraste's Mercy, you really are as bad as me. No one really allows me to go on as long as this...they've normally tuned me out by now."

"I'm sorry. Were you saying something?"

"Cheeky." The fingers of his left hand were still toying with her hair. "Have I been that terrible of an influence on you?"

"No. I've always been this way. When we find Fergus, he can tell you."

Alistair noted that this was the first time that she'd mentioned Fergus since Lothering, since Morrigan had shot down the idea of searching for him.

Alistair knew that finding her brother was unlikely. He had known it then and every day Fergus' chances of survival grew smaller. Alistair knew that could be dead in the fields of Ostagar or lost in the Kocari Wilds. He didn't want to consider the other possibility.

Alistair would never utter a word to that effect. Never. Elissa still clung to the hope that one of the many faces in Ferelden would be his, and so did he. It hurt him that she may never know.

"I'm sure that Fergus will tell me a lot of things." What was wrong with giving her a little hope? "I imagine quite a few embarrassing stories about that hound, sneaking out of your estate, sneaking back into the estate. Were-" He stopped to correct himself. Idiot. Present terms only. "Are the two of you close?"

"We're brother and sister." She said it, like he should know the answer. "He's quite a bit older than I am. He used to tell me he'd trade me for a brother in an instant."

"Oh... I'm not quite sure what to make of that."

"He'd hate that I'm out here, at least without him. He's so protective. But yes. We are very close. I told him everything."

"Everything?"

She smiled again, and moved her head so she could look at him. Her chin pressing against his chest. "Everything."

"Even the... intimate things?"

"Well they were of course hedged, but he always seemed to know more than he let on."

"So you were then?" His voice was quieter now.

"Yes, we were close."

"No... what I mean... is. Oh nevermind. I don't think I want to know."

"What are you talking about?" Her lazy, sleep addled mind filtered the last bits of conversation. "The intimate bits? You want to know if I was intimate with men?"

Elissa was glad that she was looking at him now. A fierce blush spattered his face and he immediately began to sputter, "No... I mean, that's incredibly forward. I can't believe I said anything. Please forget that I said it."

"You don't have to blush Alistair. It's perfectly natural, especially in Highever."

"I know that. I just wondered, and it was none of my business."

"Stop backtracking. You can ask me anything that you like. Always." She scooted upward, effectively cutting off his sputtering with just a press of her breasts. Elissa pressed a firm kiss to the underside of his jaw, nuzzling it with the tip of her nose. Alistair felt her warm breath, "I know that you've never, but I have."

"Oh... I uh..." He struggled to regulate his breathing. "I haven't a doubt about that... trust me." He winced as he realized his wording, "Not that I'm implying that you are, that you are a woman of- I'll just stop talking now, and blame it on the exhaustion."

Elissa laughed sweetly and rose, sitting back on her haunches. He immediately felt a chill where her body had been. She tugged on his tunic encouraging for him to do the same and he mirrored her, touching their knees together.

"Does it bother you?"

"That I'm an idiot? No. I've gotten quite accustomed to the taste of my feet." Alistair took her smile as a good sign. The orange cast of the fire flickered across her face, and he hoped that it covered his blush.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I'm afraid that I don't. There are many things that could be bothering me. Morrigan for example."

She was still smiling, "No, not Morrigan." Her fingers straightened his tunic at the shoulders, brushing the grass off them.

"Wet socks?"

"No, not wet socks." She scooted closer.

"Well, there is always-" He quieted as he realized that she was leaning forward. Elissa wetted her bottom lip, drawing the soft flesh into her mouth. She met his eyes and closed the distance between them.

It was not the first time that they had kissed. He'd taken that initiative in Redcliffe, as the waited for nightfall.

He'd heard about lightening shooting through lovers, when their skin would meet. It wasn't quite like lightening. His heart always pounded and his stomach seemed to cave in on itself. Frankly, he thought he shook like a little girl.

This time, it was his face resting between her hands. One hand slowly slid down to a resting space at the back of his neck. Alistair's hands found the tops of her thighs, and then travelled up to her waist, avoiding the curves between.

When he felt her lips curve into a smile, he took the opportunity to swipe quickly at her tongue. He retreated slowly, and she pursed her lips sealing the kiss. Her palm was warm against his face.

Her teeth worked their way across his lower lip, gently pressing against the tender flesh. He groaned and moved his hands to her face. Elissa's tongue managed be both everywhere and evasive at the same time, swiping delicate patterns across his mouth and then stealing away back behind her lips.

Alistair ran his thumb against her chin, and he pressed a soft kiss against her top lip. They paused for a moment, foreheads resting together. He couldn't take his eyes away from her swelling lips. His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, passing away some of the moisture that had gathered.

He closed the small distance between them, his heart pounding. They weren't nearly close enough. He took his time exploring the flesh. She moved to a kneeling position, and he followed, refusing to break the contact between them. She felt the beginnings of his arousal, and let out a soft mewl of delight, her fingers twisted in his hair.

Alistair nibbled on her bottom lip, pleased that it had the same effect on her. He fumbled a bit clumsily, not sure what to do with his hands. He wanted to run them down the length of her body but he settled for resting them on her lower back, pulling her closer. Her hands moved to his tunic, slowly fisting it between her fingers.

His tongue flitted back into her mouth again, then small wet heat driving him to press against her. He flicked it over her teeth, briefly rolled a circle over the tip of her tongue, and slipped against the roof of her mouth.

Alistair felt her whimper start in her chest, reverberating in his mouth. Elissa's hips rocked forward, and while he wasn't at all experienced he knew that it had to be a good sign.

His heart was battering his ribs and his right hand fumbled with the hem at her hips. Alistair's forefinger brushed at the sliver of skin beneath it. He pulled out of the kiss, and watched as he added his thumb to the brushing motions.

Elissa didn't object and moved his lips across her cheek. Her grip tightened on the fabric and when she rocked her hips forward, the whimper was now his own.

Her teeth were now on his neck, nipping, sucking. Each bite ended with the gentlest of kisses. It was exquisite. He now knew how easy it was to fall down this road. For a man to be lost.

He blushed when he realized just how aroused he was, how forcefully he was pressing himself against her. He wound his hands around her back again, and tentatively matched her when she rocked forward. Her cry of frustration muffled into his neck.

His thighs were burning from the prolonged kneeling. He ached and he wanted her. "We are terrible at this whole watch-- thing."

"Mmm." His one hand travelled up her spine, under the cloth, until the pads of his fingers pressed against the clasp of her bra.

"Oh, how did that happen?" She sucked on his collarbone, worrying the flesh between her teeth. His finger slid beneath the band and he wondered if it was too much. She said nothing to halt him but he slipped his finger from the band.

Alistair sat back on his haunches again. Elissa nearly fell forward at the sudden change, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't do that any longer."

Her lips were so swollen that anyone who looked at her would know instantly what she had been doing. Her jaw seemed rubbed raw, and Alistair wasn't all that sure how that had happened. His stubble perhaps? He had heard that her eyes would be dark, he couldn't see in the dim light, but he wished that he could.

"Oh." Her lips wrapped around the word as she breathed it out. She suddenly started to fidget, and arrange her clothing. What was she doing? Was that a nipple?

"No, you thought I meant- no that was... Maker. That was..." He sighed at his ability to immediately became a bumbling idiot, "No I just meant that my legs...".

She blew out a nervous laugh. "I thought you used to spend hours in prayer."

"Yes well, I'm terribly out of practice." He ran a hand through his hair, "That, and I rarely prayed for hours, I'd pray for a bit, then curl up somewhere to sleep."

"No pious contemplation?"

"Not too much, no." Alistair took a deep breath. They were separated now, they should just wake up Sten for his watch, and retire to their separate tents before they did something that they would regret. His eyes rested on her lips. Would he regret it? His eyes briefly flickered down to her chest.

"Alistair, if this was too much- Just trust me, we won't do anything that you don't want to do."

"Believe me, wanting has never been a problem." He heard a shift from Leliana's tent. Wynne of all people, let out a snore.

Elissa smiled again. The rocking of his hips and sweeping of his tongue told her that Alistair was no prude. He was inexperienced but if he let her, she'd would gladly play the role of patient mentor.

Elissa stood, her legs wobbly. She wanted him but the ache, unbearable a moment ago, was ebbing away. As Alistair stood, she supposed it was easier for woman.

Her mouth dried when she saw the outline of his arousal, evident through the flimsy cloth of his pants. She memorized it.

Alistair groaned, "This was reckless."

"A little reckless is good for the complexion." Even in the dim light, Elissa looked lovely. Her eyes sparkled, her cheeks tinged pink. She glanced nervously back at the tents, "I guess you're right. Any one of them could have seen."

"Sten's watch starts soon." Alistair could have laughed at the way her expression fell.

"Could you imagine if Sten had caught us?" She giggled, hiding her face in her hands. Alistair pulled them from her face and to his lips.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think he would have known quite what was going on."

"Oh no," Elissa pressed. "At the very least he'd recognize it as some... mating ritual."

His arousal had dwindled at the thought of being caught but his blood warmed at the word mating. Carnal phrasing from swollen lips. He tried to think of Sten; big Qunari, frightening stature, speaks very little.

"Alistair?" He'd been quiet for too long. "Are you all right?"

"Right, just thinking." He kissed her cheek reassuringly. "Save the joke."

Elissa giggled again. "It would have been a good one too. But as you wish." Alistair kissed her forehead. "We shouldn't do this in camp."

"I'm afraid that may be the best that we get, but you know me, eternally optimistic in the face of almost certain death."

Elissa rolled her eyes. "Yes that is your reputation."

Alistair linked their fingers, his heart quickening with the realization that he'd never held a woman's hand like this. "Elissa?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

"Maybe we should just..."

"Leave this here?" Elissa nodded and moved to her tent. Alistair tightened his grip on her hand and she stopped mid turn.

"Let me walk you," he said.

She couldn't stop her smile, so she looked at the ground. It was twenty feet to her tent, at the most. "I'd like that." She looked over at the Qunari's tent.

Alistair shrugged off her silent concern, "Don't worry, I'll wake him."

Too soon, Elissa stood, her back touching the rough canvas tent, right fingers toying with the panel. Her heart pounded and Alistair finally released her palm. They were closer to the fire now. She could see him. the orange flickering over his features. Alistair's jaw was so clearly defined, his eyelashes. Elissa settled on his neck, cords of sinew. His shirt laces were untied, giving her a glimpse of his collarbone. He shifted, uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

He was a mystery to her. A strange mix of child and man, both unbearably handsome and inquisitive.

Alistair licked his bottom lip, wetting it quickly. He stepped closer, hand trailing down to her hip. His head was dipping slowly toward her, lips full and inviting. She took a step backward. "I'm not inviting you in." She was now fully against the tent and it shifted warningly behind her. Any closer and it would collapse.

Alistair was completely bewildered, but didn't step back, "That's not why I walked you over."

"I know." She reinforced it twice in her head.

"I'm not going to play it suave here, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little blind sided. Can I ask what brought this on?"

"I want you, you know that. I've asked you twice now and I'm not going to again. If you want this... if you want me, you'll have to come to me."

He nodded and cautiously kissed her forehead. He chose his words carefully. "When I'm ready, believe me, you'll be the first to know." Alistair's forefinger pushed her bangs from her face. "You should sleep. Haven will be difficult to find."

He tentatively dipped his lips to meet hers. She finally released the canvas of her tent and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. It had none of the earlier frenzy, but Alistair's heart still pounded. Elissa stepped away, "Sleep well?"

"Of course, well, once my ears stop blushing." He offered her a shy smile and rubbed at an offending lobe.