Hardly Able to Breathe

Chapter 1: Drowning In Air

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Harry's lips were smoother than he expected. Then again, James normally did not make a habit out of snogging other boys, so he had been going into the whole thing blind, but the smooth, slightly-chapped texture of Harry's lips came as quite the nice surprise. Nice enough to dive back in for another and another in between catching his breath in fact.

As their third kiss broke, James could hear Sirius' outraged cries ringing form the Quidditch stands. With his emotions running high from their crushing defeat of Slytherin, James didn't even attempt to hide his smug grin as he nuzzled Harry's neck roughly. He knew that his playboy best friend had been eying the new transfer student for quite some time now, but James would be damned if he would even allow the two to be in the same room alone.

James frowned against Harry's shoulder, moving his broom parallel to Harry's sleeker one, wrapping a muscular arm around the slight seeker. Sirius would only break Harry's heart, wouldn't give him the love he deserved. James' arm tightened, pulling Harry closer until he was practically in his lap. He would never do that! He was the only one who could give Harry the love and devotion he deserved!

"Harry," James sighed, resting his cheek on top of his seeker's head. "Harryharryharry."

"James." The way Harry said his name, breathless as if overwhelmed with emotion, with passion, sent shivers up James' spine and his blood rushing south. He pulled back, anticipating gleefully the loving look that would be bestowed upon him by Harry's gorgeous emerald eyes, only to cringe back in shock at what he found.

Horror.

Pure, unadulterated horror. Harry's skin was bleach white, his eyes wide in terror. The mouth that James had just kissed was open in shock, in a silent scream. He was clutching onto his broom so tightly that he was shaking, but his piercing stare was focused solely on James' hazel eyes, unnerving the chaser.

Had he been mistaken? Did Harry really not love him like he thought he did? He… he couldn't be wrong though! Not even a day after he had transferred into Hogwarts, Harry had been trailing after James, watching him curiously as if he was some kind of walking, talking puzzle that needed solving.

Frankly, it had freaked James out a bit, but that apprehension had passed the first time Harry had smiled at him with unrestrained love. In a school filled with hormonal teenagers who were far too willing to sell their bodies and hearts out for momentary pleasure, the love-filled look that Harry had gifted him with had swept James away. Everything was erased at that moment: his previous girlfriends, the budding thoughts on what the dark looks filled with promises that Sirius kept gifting him with could mean, his relentless pursuit of Evans for the past few years…

It was gone, like ash to the wind, and his soul had been Harry's from that moment on.

They had been inseparable; some daring classmates even whispered that they were closer than the Marauders ever were. That was silly though: Harry got along great with the other Marauders (well, he did with Sirius and Remus, Peter… not so much), something that none of his other previous dates could boast about. Not to mention that he was the darling of Gryffindor; something about him was just perfectly suited for their house and they all knew it. Harry, slight, solemn, quiet Harry had somehow epitomized the Gryffindor ideal and they didn't even know how, nor did they care.

Harry was perfect, perfect in every way James could think of, so why was he looking so terrified because James had kissed him? Harry had been giving off all the right signals: the intimate touches, the secret glances, the loving looks they shared. He couldn't have misinterpreted all that!

"H-harry," James said shakily, reaching out to brush his hand against Harry's cheek, only to find pain lance through him as Harry flinched away. Why would Harry ever feel like he need to flinch away from him?

"James," Harry panted, and James was brought out of his painful musings at the ragged sound. James gasped, shocked at how fast Harry was losing color, swaying dangerously on his broom. "James, I…"

"Hey!" James shouted, swooping down below Harry and catching him before he could fall off his broom. He shifted awkwardly, settling Harry as comfortably as he could on his lap, and wrapped an arm tightly around his waist. "Don't worry, Harry. A quick trip to Madame Pomfrey and you'll be right as rain!"

Harry whimpered, turning to bury his face in James' chest. The chaser's breath caught and he mentally damned his teenage hormones. Dammit, why was he being tempted now of all times?

"I think anyone would need some medical attention after that last dive of yours; you almost smashed into the ground! It was like taking the Wronski Faint to the next level. I bet you gave me some gray hairs!" James laughed, rubbing Harry's hip reassuringly as the slighter boy whimpered once again. What was wrong with Harry? What could be causing him such pain?

James bit his lip guiltily. Had he caused this? Had he hurt Harry by kissing him? The thought was ridiculous, but…

"James," Harry rasped, and James's attention was instantly focused on the creature in his arms. "Get to… Lily…"

"Evans?" James asked, confused. "Why would I need to go to Evans? What you need is a Healer; Evans can visit you in the Hospital Wing."

"No!" Harry shouted, his eyes flaring and his voice rising as if he was possessed. "You must…" Harry coughed roughly, and James felt his heart freeze as Harry's pale hand was stained red with his blood. "You must go to Lily's… Lily's side. You must…"

"Harry," James said softly, torn between doing what the man he was falling in love with asked or continuing his flight to Madame Pomfrey, who he could see was rushing to get her things ready for an incoming sick patient. "I'm sorry."

"James?" Harry asked, trying to catch his eye, but he didn't have the strength to lift his head from James' chest, something that frightened both of them.

"What is most important to me is your safety," James said firmly, trying to hide the anxiety he felt as he flew carefully to Madame Pomfrey's side. "I will tell E- Lily to come by the Hospital Wing once you are safe."

"James…" Harry trailed off as James touched ground, settling Harry down gently on the grassy floor of the arena. James could spot Madame Pomfrey rushing across the pitch at a speed quite unexpected for one her age out of the corner of his eye, but all he could focus on was Harry, who was looking worse and worse as the second passed.

"You must," Harry tried once more, but James silenced him with a kiss. Harry whimpered, and James drew away, trying to smile reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Harry," James said soothingly as Madame Pomfrey finally reached the pair and started casting diagnostic spells. "Everything will be fine; I will not allow anything to hurt you, because you…"

"Mr. Potter!" Madame Pomfrey shouted, as the results of her spell appeared, written in jagged, crimson letters instead of their normal blue, reaching for James' shoulder. "You mustn't!"

Stunned, James could not help the rest of his sentence fall from his lips.

"…Are the person I love most in the world."

Harry's inhuman shrieks of pain rang throughout the pitch as the very fabric of reality was torn asunder.

Wow, in media res for the win. I didn't waste any time jumping into this one, did I? And here I thought Ardent Argent was fast paced.

Anyway, this is the second pairing challenge I've done for my darling Kamerreon's pairing challenge, and it is obviously for the James/Harry pairing. So yes, the requisite warnings for incest. Well, actually, it was incest but, as you will see in the next chapter, the biological incest factor has been officially written out of the equation. Kinda.

The second chapter of Ardent Argent should be out soon, right after I get chapter five of Inexorable Inevitability done and maybe, just maybe, I'll churn out chapter five of Alexithymia. Don't hold me to it though; you should all know by now how random my updating schedule can be.

In any case though, reviews would be very much appreciated, and I will love you forever and ever and ever if you leave me a positive one (or at least one with constructive criticism)! Flames will be met with didactic essays on the nature of human morality of the Internet and how anonymity affects how we act, so I think we all want to avoid that fate. So, the correct thing to do is to obviously just tell me how I'd doing so far so I'll be encouraged to continue on!

That's all folks! Look out for more updates soon, especially on Christmas, where I'm planning on having an update for every single one of my fics that are multi-chaptered and unfinished!

'Til next time!

Ariaeris~