52 notes

chapter 2

[[somewhere over the rainbow

way up high]]

There was a clatter heard and paper rustled as Hitsugaya ran from room to room, looking for more bits of paper that were similar to the one that was clenched in his hand.

'i just wanted you to know that i'm dying'

This was a year ago! And he only found out about that she was dying a few months before.

Why did she not tell him sooner? If only he had known at an earlier time...

He slumped against the wall and groaned. 52 was quite a big number yet where would she have hidden all of the notes? It was not in any locations that were obvious yet it was nor in any drawers or desks.

Thinking for a while he realised something.

The last note was found inside a book that was a favourite of hers... perhaps... there would be a trend.

Breaking into a run, he ran back into the living room and to the CD player which was lying quietly on top of a brown varnished table. Beside the CD player was a stack of CDs.

On top of the stack was a rather old CD case that had been listened to over and over again.

"Oi, you always listen to that song. It's getting quite old now. Wait... it is old."

"Oh hush Hitsugaya-kun! My mother used to sing it to me when i was little and listening to it is quite soothing."

"Fine."

"Ah. Dance with me."

"Eh?!"

"Come on!"

"Hey hey!"

"You're not that bad a dancer..."

"Of course. I need to be, just to dance with you."

[[There's a land i heard of

once in a lullaby]]

Opening the CD case, a folded white note was tucked inside the case with the same words on top like the first one.

'To Shiro chan no.2'

He took a deep breath before reading it as his heart was pumping wildly behind his chest. It felt like she was still there, even if she wasn't.

And it felt like she could still talk to him.

He opened the letter gently, as if it was made of the most fragile and precious material in the world. Right now, it was.

'Dear Hitsugaya kun

How are you? Hopefully you are well and i suppose by this time, i am not. (If i am dead, then i suppose all the humour is lost)

Congratulations for finding the second note and as you have noticed, unlike the first one, this one has a number on top.

So if you have finished reading this one, and the next letter you find is no.5, don't read it!!

Look hard for the next letters!!

It's the second letter and also the second week. I went to the doctor's just then for another check up.

Since i didn't explain what i'm suffering from, from the last letter, i will tell you know. Even if you already know.

I was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration.

Slowly my body will deteriorate and i will no longer have control over it. However, my mental state will be fine.

Soon i will no longer have the ability to move or to speak. It will be like living in a prison where you know that you are fine but your body is not.

The doctors have said i would be able to live a few more years but i said no.

I begged them to give me just one year and after that, let me pass away.

Why, you might ask?

It is incredibly selfish of me but i would not be able to stand being locked in a hospital, to not see you and to not taste freedom. I love to sing, i love to run and i love to move. With this disease, i would not be able to do any of these.

Right now i'm fine.

Yet in a mere amount of months, you would notice my degenerating state.

If i were to continue on with this disease for more than a year, you would have to be the one with all the responsibility to look after me until i will slowly die one day.

I would rather enjoy a short life with you, then to experience a life of struggles and limits which would drag you and i down.

In doing this, i selfishly have thought that i would save us both some trouble.

On a happier note, the funniest thing happened! (Well it wasn't the funniest but it sure was funny!)

Rangiku made Ichigo carry all her shopping bags all the way to her house and you know how much Rangiku shops!

It was quite mean for me to do so, but i was just on the floor laughing as i watched Ichigo struggle with all the bags! In the end i suffered quite a stomach ache from all the laughter...

I should stop now as i have to clean up the kitchen after your 'experiment' with the blender yesterday.

Some genius you are!

I love you and love you and love you.

Love, Momo.

Hitsugaya folded the note again.

No...she did not have just one year to live as he just found out.

She chose it.

He wondered if she really did choose the right choice... either way she would have gone much earlier then he wished.

He smiled as he remembered the day in which he decided to try and make something with the blender.

Needless to say, it resulted in much mess, smoke and food splatters all over the kitchen and also over them both.

Since then, he has never touched that blender. Or any blender.

He walked off, leaving the living room to go in search for more notes, this time with two folded notes clutched in his hand.

[[Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?]]

There's chapter 2 and thank you all for reading it!

Again, reviews are not necessary but are indeed appreciated.

Saying so, lots of thank yous for the following readers : kRyStAlt3aRz and Moonlightview for reviewing.

If anyone has noticed, i have ripped off the illness from 1 litre of tears. [[Again, that is ALSO a true story and i recommend everyone to either watch the drama or read the journal of the girl. Keep a box full of tissues next to you as you will cry.]]