AOF: Ola, everyone! Time for another exciting chapter of Hetalia Questions and Answers! We have many more questions and many more answers coming your way! Now, as promised, we will be continuing RainSonata's letter from last chapter because of its length. *unfolds letter* Looks like this group of questions is for China.
China: Let's hear them then, aru!
OMG, I love you! You're so kawaii! XD
China: *blushes* Thanks, aru!
1. How many brothers and sister do you have? You have way too many.
China: I know, aru. Sometimes I lose count, aru! Even so, I have *counts on fingers*… five….wait…maybe six….or is it seven, aru?
AOF: The point is you have a lot of them. Next question:
2. Of all of the Asian nations you took care of, which was your favorite?
China: My favorite, aru? Well, it's not good to pick favorites out of family members, but I would have to say that Japan was the best-behaved out of all of them, aru. With that said, I kind of liked Korea, too, aru. He kept things exciting, aru…..*tears start forming in his eyes* ..I-I'm sorry, aru…..
AOF: Don't cry! You're going to make me cry and then there will be this really awkward silence and….
China: I c-can't help it, a-a-aru…..I-it's hard to r-rem-m-member the p-past aru!
AOF: * hugs China* It'll be alright, China….It'll be alright.
China: *sniff* I think I'm better now aru…. Thanks, aru!
Korea: …Can I touch your breasts now?
China: WHAT THE HECK, ARU? NO WAY!
3. Why did you have to go after Vietnam and take over her so many times? Come on, one thousand years? Seriously.
China: Well….I guess old habits die hard, aru….Besides, I wanted to have more land, aru.
Vietnam: *snorts* Likely story.
4. Do you like pandas? I love them too! :) Pandas FTW!
China: Of course I love them, aru! Why else would I have one with me all the time, aru? *pets panda*
5. How was it like being under Mongolia for awhile?
China: *shudders* That was scary, aru! I still have nightmares of all those ways of torture, aru….
6. Do you think it's strange to be around with the European and American nations? They're customs still seem rather odd to me and I've been raised with Americans
China: They are odd, aru. I mean, whenever I explain what Peking dog is to some Europeans, they look at me like I have fourteen heads, aru! It's not THAT odd, aru! Plus, their drinking habits disgust me sometimes, aru. I wouldn't do that to myself, aru.
France: Really? What about that one time after the Beijing Olymp-
China: THAT WAS NOT ME, ARU!
France: *sarcastically* Oh sure. Because they are plenty other stinking old men with brown hair tied in a ponytail that end their sentences with "aru" and have a doll named Shinatty-chan which is really just a Hello Kitty doll with a mouth drawn on it. My mistake.
AOF: *ahem* Now that we are done arguing. Let us read the questions submitted to us by Peridot Tears.
Hey, America, what do you think about New York? - I'm from there~
America: New York is awesome. All the country and history and NYC is amazing! Love it there! I mean, there was that one time where-
England: We're not interested in back-stories, America
America: Aww, come on! That was a good story. It was funny, too!
AOF: I'm sure it was, America (- has already heard the anecdote before.)
Prussia. What the hell did Ivan do to you while the Berlin Wall was up?
Prussia: For starters….it wasn't awesome….
Russia: I beg to differ, Prussia! It was the most awesome years of your life *purple steam*wasn't it?
Prussia: Like hell. Honestly, do you think your ominous stare's gonna work-
Russia: KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL
Prussia: 'tkillme!
AOF: …I guess it's safe to assume it was a scarring occurrence.
Hey, China, I'm Chinese~! :D What was the Three Kingdoms Period like for you? I'm a huge fan of Romance of Three Kingdoms :D
China: Confusing….I mean, being split into three different entities is not your normal occurrence, aru. It was pretty gory, too, aru. Are you, aru? I'm glad to hear you take interest in my culture, aru.
Sealand, what's it like to have Sweden as a father?
Sealand: Really cool! He's sort of silent, but he gives me support. He's better than England, in any case! Much better!
Sweden: I th'nk Seal'nd 's a goo' k'd.
AOF: AWWWW! How sweet!
Prussia: You can understand him? It sounds like he's speaking gibberish.
AOF: Well may be if you actually listened, he'd make sense.
Prussia: Whatever, AnimeOtakuFreak.
Spain. ...I like you. A lot. :D Not that way, but you're really cool~
Spanish: Muchas gracias, Peridot Tears! I think you're cool, too!
AOF: And now for the next letter….Hey! This is from my editor, MeowChan 16! Oh boy, wonder what she has to say!
Hey America, please lick maple syrup off Canada's face. And then have a syrupy kiss 3.
AOF: :O….
America:…..Is she dead?
France: She's still standing up! Of course, she's still alive!
AOF:…
England: Okay, now I'm nervous. She's not reacting like normal fangirls would.
AOF: …eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE! HOLY CRAP THIS IS TOO GOOD OF A QUESTION!
England: Never mind.
AOF: Thank you so much so the suggestion, MeowChan! *runs and gets maple syrup* Here you go, America!
America: *looks from bottle of maple syrup to Canada* Um….Hold your breath Canada. *squirts maple syrup onto Canada's face*
Canada: *now covered in syrup* Well…..Isn't this lovely?
AOF: *is scribbling down in journal*
Hungary: *Has camera out* MUST TAKE PICTURES OF YAOI!
America: *starts licking maple syrup off Canada's face*
Canada: *giggles and squirms* Your tongue tickles!
America: *takes a moment to swallow maple syrup* Tastes good.
AOF: Squeeeee! He said Canada tastes good!
Romano: Are you ****ing deaf? He was commenting on the maple syrup!
AOF: Whatever.
America: *after most of the maple syrup has been cleaned off* Time for the syrupy kiss!
*their lips meet*
Canada: *eyes close*
America: *swipes tongue over Canada's lips*
Canada: *whimpers*
AOF: *is sweating while writing* Must…..expand…..moment!
*America and Canada separate*
AOF: Wheeeeee! That was soooo hot! Hungary, I leaving you in charge of this while I go type up and post this! *runs out of the room*
Hungary: Alright! *picks up next letter* Let's see what- *reads sender*- Charley The Plant has to say.
Finland, since we got a little confession from Sweden earlier it's just fair to ask you too... Are you gay?
Finland: *shrinks* Ummmmmmmmmm…..I don't….I mean…well…I guess I'm bi…more or less, I mean…..yeah…
And you're aware that here in Sweden homosexual pairs can marry in church? You know you want to...
Finland:…
Sweden: *murmurs something in Swedish to Finland*
Hungary: I guess that's all we're getting from them.
Belarus, could you please stop scaring Russia into the closet? It's hard to conquer the world from in there so save it for later.
Belarus: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's not my fault he runs into the closet. If he would jut marry me, this wouldn't be a problem, right Russia?
Russia: Yes…o-o-of course…hehheh *thinks* Please get her away from me!
Though you could dispose of the closet, it's far too suggesting standing there... Things can get out of hand. And it dared to separate you and your brother, right?
Belarus: Yes! Yes it did. Maybe I should ask AnimeOtakuFreak once she gets back from her….what is she doing away?
Hungary: Fangirl stuff, I guess.
Is anyone in here feeling sadistic?
Russia: *Raises hand with enthusiasm*
Turkey: If it involves Greece, why not?
Greece: *growls* Shut your trap, Turkey….No one cares…
Turkey: I beg to differ. I happen to have many fan girls who care about me.
Hungary: You two better stop before I hit you over the head with a frying pan.
*the argument stops*
Hungary: Much better. Let us continue.
I wanna see a depressed England!
England: Well, I don't, thank you very much! Besides, you can't make me depressed!
You know what to do, America.
America: *with a mouthful of hamburger*… I do?
Put that hamburger down a second and remind him of certain things, will ya? (Or ask the author if you're too slow to get it.)
America: *at Hungary* What am I supposed to remind him of again?
Hungary: *blinks* How should I know? I'm not AnimeOtakuFreak!
America: …..I have a feeling it has to do with a war or something….but I'm not sure which one…
England: *flinches*
America: …I think it had something to do with France…..um….the Hundred Years War?
England: What about it, America?
America: It was a war….it lasted 100 years-
England: -116 years.
America: Same thing. You had to be against France for that whole time. Didn't that sorta suck for you?
England: Well, yeah…I mean, no one wants to be at war for that long….
America: Yeah. I would've died if I had been battling France.
England: And what a relief that would've been.
America: …Are you depressed yet?
England: No.
America: …now?
England: No!
America: …How about now?
England: Still no.
Now, are you feeling a bit sad and frustrated, England?
England: The only emotion I feel right now is annoyance!
Take it out on America, any way you like!
England: …Can I duct tape his mouth shut?
America: What?
Hungary: *holds out duct tape for England*
England: *snatches* Thank you! *looks to America* Now, for your punishment. *puts tape over America's mouth*
America: Mmmph!
England: *puts hand to ear* What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you!
And Russia, I'd like to see some blood... Or wait, this might be getting inappropriate. Shall we catch a Baltic later instead?
Russia: What's wrong with some blood? I'm sure our readers wouldn't mi-
Hungary: Yes. Yes they would.
Russia: I don't thi-
Hungary: *glares*
Well, see you later everyone... I certainly won't leave you in peace just yet~
Everyone: …
AOF: *burst through the door* Finally, now that that's done and over with, I can continue reading the letters. *takes the two remaining envelopes from Hungary* Thanks for watching over this while I was gone.
Hungary: No problem! I can see why you enjoy your job so much.
AOF: Now for something from ArtemisFowl'sGirl09
France: Squee! *glomp* I love you, you're so cool! Anyways, my question is... which products do you use in your hair? It's always so radiant and soft *drool* hehe, sorry 'bout that...
France: *shakes hair sexily* L'Oreal. Because I'm worth it.
Italy: WILLYOUCOMEOVERTOMYHOUSE?IMADEPASTAANDANDANDAND...*GLOMPS*
Italy: You made pasta? !
England: I live in England! Whoo, it felt cool to say that I live in England...anyways, I disagree that your food is horrible! I like it a hell of a lot more than Canadian food anyways (lol, I'm originally from Canada)
England: *surprised* you…you like my food? Thanks so much! I really don't understand why so few people recognize its lovely flavor.
Everyone Else: *mumbles*
AOF: Onwards, to the last letter by Junkai
Glomps AnimeOtakuFreak* Thank you for making this fanfic! =3
AOF: Anytime, my friend. I live to write.
*Ahem* Anyway, I have some (useless) questions for you:
AOF: Fire away! :D
1- You don't like USUK, right? O_o
AOF: ….Oh boy…The one question I dread answering. *takes in deep breath* You hit the nail right on the head, I'm afraid. I am not a fan of USUK. *looks at the ground* In fact, to be strictly honest with you all, I really find that pairing rather gross and unattractive. Even with that said, I don't want my OTPs to be the only pairings accepted here. Feel free to send us requests concerning any pairing, whether I support it or not.
2- Can you tolerate England's scones? Because I can! *Bought it from the internet =D(?)*
AOF: I don't recall having ever tried one, but I hope to soon. That's cool that you can survive English cooking. You must have one tough stomach.
Now, this is for America and France (Not a real question):
Make a competition, 'Who kisses England better?' *Fangirl squeal~*3
AOF: ….Well, won't this be interesting?
Hungary: *squee* YAOI!
England: No.
Hungary: What do you mean "no"?
England: NO.
Hungary: Oh come on, England! You have got to have a better attitude abou-
England: NO NO NO NO NO NO! I refuse to participate. I've already been kissed by these creeps more than necessary, okay?
AOF: No! Whatever the fans want, the fans get, okay? You agreed to this, remember? You said that you'd be willing to answer questions and perform dares, so…America, France, hop to it! Start the smooch fest!
America: *Takes off duct tape and goes up to England*So….It's my turn first, huh?
England: *backs away* P-put that duct tape back on!
America: *gives England a sexy smile* I'm sure you'll enjoy this- *captures England and pulls him close. Their foreheads meet.*- because Imma gonna blow you away.
England: *blushes bright red and tries to squirm away*
Hungary: Oh god, here it comes…!
AOF: Look at the floor, AnimeOtakuFreak, look at the floor.
America: *crushes their lips together*
England: *is petrified*
America: *explores England's mouth with his tongue*
England: *whimpers*
AOF: Just keep looking….just keep looking…
Hungary: *snapping picture* That kiss is just GORGEOUS! Keep it up, America!
America: *runs fingers through England's hair*
England: Mmmhn….
America: *Sucks on England's skin just below the jaw line*
England: *is breathing heavily*
America: *releases England and has a large, giddy smile on* France can't hope to beat that kiss.
England: *is dizzy* Ugh…..I wanna throw up…
America: *frowns* I know…Duct tape tastes horrible…I would've thought you could handle the taste because your food is really bad…
England: *glares*
AOF: *sighs in relief* Now, for France.
France: *sneaks up and grabs him from behind*
England: *squeaks as he is turned around*
France: * grins mischievously* America's kiss will seem like a lame peck after I'm done with you.
England: *looks rather horrified*
France: *nibbles and kisses along England's neck.*
England: *whimpers*
France: *Gives him a large kiss*
England: * clutches France's shirt in tight fists*
*They remain in this state for several minutes*
France: *Slides tongue along England's*
England: Mmm…
AOF: Oh yes! *fistpump* This is what I'm talking about.
France: *licks each of England's eyebrows and nips his nose*
England: …..haa..
France: *runs tongue along releases him and smirks* You seemed to enjoy that, mon cher.
England: *wipes his lips and looks disgusted* Git. I wouldn't enjoy a kiss from you in a million years.
France: Oh really? So that other requested kiss we shared in here wasn't enjoyable either? As I recall, you begged me to kiss you full on the mouth.
England: That was only because I didn't want you exploring me, for goodness sake!
AOF: *is satisfied* Moving on.
To Canada:
Hello there! *Waves hands* I just want to tell you that you are my second favorite character, and that I'll never forget you!
Canada: Thank you so much! I feel a lot better about myself when people recognize me.
To England:
How did the "competition" feel? *Smirks*
England: WHY YOU…! You are going to go under such a curse…
Hungary: I think America's kiss was better!
AOF: WHAT? That's totally not true. France's was a lot better.
Hungary: Oh come on! America totally had something magnificent. I wouldn't even be surprise if England started having the hots for America because of that.
England: O.O I would not!
Hungary: Yes, you would! You're just denying it.
AOF: Hey, France's lip-lock with England lasted for at least a good two minutes! America's lasted, what, 30 seconds? And I could've sworn I saw England kissing France back. SO HA!
Hungary: That doesn't prove anything!
AOF: Does too
Hungary: Does not.
AOF: Does too
Hungary: Does not.
AOF: Does t-
Hungary: End of discussion
AOF: *opens mouth*
Hungary: END OF DISCUSSION
AOF: *frowns and continues reading*
And you are my favorite character EVER! I just can't stop loving you~~ *cough andpairingyouwi theveryoneasuke cough*
England: …I guess I can forgive you if you like me so much, but honestly…that was uncalled for and unnecessary
Send meh some scones! And a fairy xD
England: *Face brightens* One scone coming right up, but I may not be able to send you a fairy. They can be nasty to ship…
To Sealand:
*Whisper* I recognize you as a country! But don't tell England, he would be mad at me! :C
Sealand: YOU DO? That's awesome! With more people like you, perhaps someday I will be my own country!To Spain:
Yo hablo español! *Por eso es que tengo errores, perdónenme!*
Spain: ¿De veras? ¡Qué estupendo! Siempre me gusta hablar en mi primera lengua. Y no te preocupes sobre errores. El inglés es un idioma difícil para entender.Tell Romano about your feelings! Don´t be a coward!
Spain:…¿Qué?
Romano: Che cosa? You….you have feelings for me..?
Spain: Uh….Well…
Romano: *frowns*
Spain: *is looking a bit shy*
Romano: Well? Could you tell me the ****ing truth? Or are you just going to stand there like the damn idiot you are?
Spain: Romano…I-
Romano: Awww, forget it bastard! I'm not interested in what's going on in that stupid head of yours.
Spain: …..You aren't…?
Romano: Pfft…W-why should I? You aren't worth it! I really don't care that you're a bit attractive, or that you risked your life to save me on several occasions…because I could've defeated that damn Turkey face if you had given me a couple of minutes.
Turkey: 8(
Spain: *smirks* But what about when you starting calling for me to save you. *speaks like Romano* "Damn it, Spain! Come and rescue me already."
Romano:SHUT YOUR FACE, BASTARD!
To Egypt:
I LOVE YOU~~! (You are my third fav character)
Egypt: …..
To America:
I know you can read the atmosphere! And that you are a yandere!
America: So I don't need that book then! HA HA! *turns to Japan*….What does "yandere" mean?
Japan:Er…I believe they described you as bipolar or psychotic.
America: …O.O….Thanks…?
And finally, AOF, I have a request:
Please put England, France and America in a closet for an hour. I want to see what happens!*Wink*
AOF: *evil grin* This is going to be so much fun!
America: ….
England: Why?
France: O hon hon hon…
AOF: *opens the door* In you three go!
*France, England and America are pushed into the closet*
AOF: *opens laptop and pulls up a webcam window*
Everyone Else: *gathers around the monitor to watch the action*
England: *pounds on door* You wankers! Release us this instant!
America: Yeah! I still have that hamburger I need to finish.
France: *lays back, propped up on some cardboard boxes*
England: *looks back at France* Why do you look so satisfied?
France: I want out of here as much as you do, mon ch-
England: DON'T SAY IT!
France: But, you know how forceful AnimeOtakuFreak is. She's not going to let us out until our hour is up.
America: I WILL RELEASE US! I AM THE HERO AND JUSTICE ALWAYS PREVAILS!
England: *facepalm* As usual, you two are royal pains in the ass.
America: *starts moving clothes and boxes* I need something long…
France: Oui…what exactly are you going to do, Amerique?
America: You'll see!
England: ….
America: Here we go! *has a long pole in his hand*
England: America…please don't tell me you're going to do what I think you're going to do?
America: *backs up until he is facing the door. Holds stick against his side.* This door is only made of wood, so I should be able to break it.
France: Um…..That may not be-
America: *charges at the door and slams the pole into it at full-force.*
France: -smart.
America: *is rebounded to the floor, still holding the pole.* Ugh…
England: *sighs* Once again, more evidence that you are a dunce.
America; *staggers to feet* I'm okay…..Man, that door is stronger than I thought. I guess we will have to wait an hour.
*Fifteen minutes pass*
France: That's not right!
England: Of course it's correct, you git! Zombies are people. You're just too dense to see it.
France: *sigh* But how come there are zombie cats and zombie dogs?
England: There's no such thing. Zombies can only be people; therefore they are people and should be recognized as people.
France: Angleterre, I would think being a zombie is more of a condition. Once we get out of the place, I can show you a movie with zombie animals that are certainly not humans.
America: NO! NOT A SCARY MOVIE! *shivers*
England: Shut up, America. Mommy and Daddy are talking.
France: *chuckles* I can see you like being the uke, England.
England: What in hell's name are you going on about?
France: Well, you seem to have identified yourself at the mother, so..
England: GIT! That's not true. I would be the father.
France: I'd like to see you try.
England: *leaps on France*
*Fighting ensues*
America: Aww! They look like they're the best of friends.
France: …Really, America?
*45 minutes into the dare*
America: England! I'm bored!
England: That's not my problem.
America: But I don't know what to do!
England: *sigh* Why don't you look through the closet and see if there are any games?
America: *shrugs* Alright…
France: *is chuckling*
England: *raises eyebrow* What's so funny?
France: I found a stash of some rather…..interesting comics that, let's just say, speak to my interests. *wink*
England: *peers into box* These are all in Japanese. What sort of enjoyment are you getting out of this if you can't understand what they-
France: *shows England a picture*
England:….oh….
AOF: *glances at Japan* Any explanations?
Japan: *is blushing furiously* I-I guess I forgot to take them out of the c-closet…
Hungary: SO THEY ARE YOURS!
Prussia: *whispers*Better find another hiding place for them, Japan. Especially if there's yaoi.
Japan:….I most certainly will.
*Later*
AOF: Alright! Time to let these guys out!
*opens door for America, England, and France*
America: Boy, was that intense! There was so much stuff in there!
France: *still reading doujinshi*
Japan:….France-san….would you please put that back where you found it?
France: *clutches* Non, I like it.
Japan: *sighs*
England: *is grumbling about how he shouldn't have signed up for this*
And I'm really sorry if I have some mistakes!
AOF: Oh, that's nothing to worry about! You should see my writing before I buckle down and edit it. And those are all the questions. Please keep them coming! Until next time!
With a new year in our midst, I feel it's a great time to post something for all of you! I hope you've enjoyed this hectic chapter. Here are some side notes:
-"Ola" is "hello" in Portuguese, unless I am mistaken. It may seem like an error of 'hola', but the Portuguese don't put the 'h' in front.
-We have our cameo of Vietnam! Since she isn't as developed in character as the other countries, I don't know if the remark she made was alright, but I would assume the average country wouldn't be so thrilled with being invaded.
-If you were wondering about AOF's random inspiration moment, that is a true occurrence. I wrote a fanfic based on the question asked by MeowChan16.
-For those of you who don't speak Spanish, here's a translation:
I speak Spanish. (This is why I have so many errors, excuse me)
Spain: Really? Awesome! I always like to speak in my first language. And don't worry about mistakes. English is a difficult language to understand.
-During the little closet fiasco, I made two pop culture references. If you can point them out and tell me where I got them from, I shall give you a prize! (Hint: Both originated in videos on a very popular video-sharing website.)
-As lastly, Hetalia Questions and Answers has reached its 100th review! French the llama, that's awesome! Congrats to thefireywaterdrummer, who is getting a request for being our lucky reviewer and thanks to you, my dearest readers, for making this fanfiction possible. I seriously couldn't do it without you.
May your New Year be prosperous,
AnimeOtakuFreak1029