This is a product of watching way too much NCIS and Criminal Minds. I couldn't help but think, what if the bad guy messed with the wrong family?

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters.

He laughed. His head feels like it's about to split open with pain, he can't see out of one eye, and he's pretty sure that if his arm isn't broken then it's fractured. And yet he still can't help but double over with laughter.

"Something funny, Sheppard?" his captor quit pacing and suddenly there are two hands on his shoulder and he winces as the quick motion jars his injured arm. "Most people don't laugh when they are informed that their family is in danger. I am sure your wife won't be laughing when my associate has a knife to her throat."

John clenches his jaw to stifle the last remnants of his amusement. "Let me get this straight. You sent an armed thug to my house after my wife?"

"That is correct," his captor, who Sheppard had dubbed Steve, glanced down as his cell went off. He gave a predatory grin, "That is him now. Perhaps the sound of your wife being tortured will persuade you to give up the information that I desire."

Steve flipped the phone open and held it out on speaker. "You have her?"

"Boss, I-" the room fills with the sound of a distinctively male scream.

John smiled. Yeah, just like he thought.

"This is Colonel Sheppard's wife. I assume that not only are you the man that sent someone to my house but you are also the one who is currently holding John hostage. I am giving you two options-either let my husband go, or I will come and force his release."

Steve's face twists with something between surprise and fury. "What is this? What have you done to-"

"Your friend is currently incapacitated." There was another yell of pain and Steve's face turns redder. "Now, which will it be?"

"This isn't over," Steve snaps.

"Then I have my answer."

It isn't actually Teyla who rescues him and he has to admit that he's sort of glad. Ronon drags Steve off in cuffs, still muttering under his breath about that damn woman. John would hate to have seen what Teyla would have done to him.

Rodney cuts off the zip tie around his feet and undoes the leather straps around his wrists. "You know, he must not have done his research."

"Obviously, he sent a street thug after Teyla. A street thug. After Teyla."

"Must not have realized that her contract work for the Air Force consists of weapons training. And what was it her father did in whatever country she's from?"

"Think Marine Recon meets Navy Seal meets Special Forces," John rubs his arms. "Steve picked the wrong woman to mess with."

"Tell me about it. We probably wouldn't have found you so fast if she hadn't gotten it out of the guy where it was his buddy was keeping you."

They step out of the warehouse and he sees his wife leaning up against one of the black SUV's talking with Ronon. As soon as she sees him she starts towards him and within seconds she's wrapped in his arms, well at least she's wrapped in his good arm.

"Hey, you okay?" he tilts her head up and looks at the bruise on her cheek, "Bastard," he mutters.

"John I am fine, what about you?"

"Ah I've been better."

He sees Dr. Beckett already heading their direction and he grips her a little tighter, "I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been your voice on the phone, if you had been the one…"

She lets her arm fall from his waist and looks up at him earnestly. "But it was me, so do not dwell on it any further." As Dr. Beckett comes to lead him away he feels her tug at his back pocket. "They messed with the wrong man," she adds with a smirk.

As he walks with Beckett towards the waiting ambulance, John shakes his head. He knew there was reason he married her.