I promised myself that I wouldn't let this happen again. I told myself that I would stop myself from allowing this to continue. I swore I would end this once and for all... but here I am again, hanging behind the rest of my classmates. I watch as they all trickle out of the room, heading towards their next class or if they're lucky a friend is waiting outside the door to enjoy a break period. For a second I envy them. I wish I could leave all of my thoughts behind as I shut the classroom door. Maybe leave the castle to marvel at the beauty or just walk around aimlessly, but I know that can't happen. That won't happen. Not now. Turning away from the door as my last peer leaves I feel him. He is on the other side of the room still and yet I can feel the memory of him wrap around me, covering me in his scent, his voice, his touch. I want him to step closer, though I know I shouldn't, for that hidden mark on his left forearm screams at me. I should just turn and walk away, and wish for guilt and regret that I know will never come, but I don't. I stand there, watching him as he sighs quietly and sets his hands down on his desk; his desk that hosted a passionate session that I cannot, or want, to forget. I look him in the eyes and my breath stops in my throat. There again I see it. I see the passion building. I'm not the only one who burns. I'm not the only one who still desires. A smile to him, satisfied with the fact that we are both being dragged slowly into the pits of hell. And in that smile a truce is made. Tonight, eight o'clock.

I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again. I told myself I would make this stop. I swore to myself that I would end this. Merlin, why can't I end this? When did my responsibilities to this school, to this war stop being enough? When did I become the monster I am? Slowly my classroom empties, except for the one student I cannot be around. Merlin, does she not understand what she does to me?! Can she not see that this is slowly killing me? The last student is leaving and still her back is turned to me. I raise my hand to adjust the neck of my robes, for the walls are starting to close in on me. My heart is racing, and my palms are sweaty. I look up to see her watching me. I sigh, reaching for my desk, realizing too late just where I set my hands. It was here, on this sweat stained desk that this all started. Here after class one day that I had taken her on my desk. Here when I had committed a sin, tasted her skin, and found that I had a nasty addiction that only she could cure. Does she not know that she is my salvation? Does she not know that her skin brought to me the Heaven I thought I could never find? She must know. She must... For that smile... Merlin, I desire her, I burn for her. Yes my sweet. Tonight, eight o'clock.