Pain. What is there to describe what I'm feeling right now? If I can go back, hell, I would. But nothing can change what has happened.

It could've been anyone. It could've been House, Foreman or even Cuddy. But my Chase, him…why?

I sit there in his car, for the last time. We were silent throughout the ride. Nothing to say, nothing to talk about.

Just empty silence.

It's because of House. It's all his damn fault. It's always his fault. The reason why Chase killed Diabla and the reason why I'm going to leave him.

I walked out of the car, still quiet. He turns off the engine, also giving me the silent treatment. He opens the familiar apartment that we now share, only to be empty after I leave.

Past the kitchen and the living room, I walked straight into the bedroom that we used have fun. It's been a long time since we've shared this big bed, from the first day I moved in to the last night he ever slept there all night, without any sudden disappearances or late nights. Memories flooded back into me as I sat down on it, pulling out the drawers, packing all my clothes into the only luggage I have at the moment.

He stood there by the door, leaning back on the hinge. Tears start strolling down my face as I packed the last pair of socks. More pain came from my heart as the bed was folded in a very organized fashion. Just for one night, I want him to sleep in a bed that's neat and tidy, because after I leave, it's never going to be the same again.

I walked past him, only my heart can tell him all the subtle feelings that I have left of him. The luggage rolled smoothly against the hard wooden floor, the sound that I'm going to regret missing. The scent of his cologne lingered until I past the kitchen once again. I stopped, to look back what's left of my husband.

There he was again, only his face is not the regular and lovely Dr. Robert Chase, just the same and cruel man that stared back at me. His desperate malachite eyes continued to gaze into me, wishing that I could go back to him.

I looked away, the tears fall even faster. I can't do this. I can't just leave him here… But I shook my head. No, I have to…it's for his own good. You can go this Allison.

Just steps away. Just a few more until I walk out of this damned apartment. Just a few more until I walk out of his life, and him out of mine.

You can do this…

My knees start to wobble as the distance from door in front of me to my feet grew even further. I feel my own knees fall into the ground, my eyes closing right in front of me. But someone caught me.

It was him.

I started to cry into his arms. His warm breath comforted me, and the world seemed to pass before both of us. It was just both of us, sitting in the middle of the floor, just crying.

"You don't have to do this, Allison," he whispered into my ear, after a moment of silent crying. His voice never sounded so much like him before. I cried even louder, trying to drown out his voice that was locked in my mind. He clung onto me harder, and the sobs grew even louder.

"I have to…I'm so sorry," were the last words I said to him. I picked myself up (with the help from him) and left.

Without a last hug. Last kiss. Nothing.

Just pain in my heart.

But I did a good thing.

I hope I did.