A/N: Wow. I actually forgot to say that I don't own NCIS or the lyrics to Temptation by Cote de Pablo, although I'd love to.
This is a little different than most of my fics. More dark and goes more into Ziva's mind after Aliyah. Enjoy!
It was crazy. To think he would actually listen to her, when they were butting heads so much lately. It felt like years ago when he told her… he said… he admitted. He couldn't live without her. The feeling that flashed in her eyes - confusion, anger, hurt, caring, and shame. He had done it all for her before, why did she expect him now?
There was no way he could guilt her for falling in love with Michael Rivkin. She'd given him years, waited, and gotten nothing but hurt in return. And then there was her song, Temptation…
She wrote it for him.
He never heard it.
It was a mission.
But she made the best of it.
Ziva David, asked to sing at a club where she would be keeping eyes on her target. Directed to write a song, and also under surveillance by her kidon unit partner. It would be simple, would it not? A slow, language-complex song.
Her lips moved now, mimicking the way they had moved when she sung, but now no sound came out. Each word echoed in her brain with their specific meaning. There was no way he would ever hear it. Their relationship was a ghost of the past.
Rusted brandy in a diamond glass
everything is made from dreams
time is made from honey slow and sweet
only the fools know what it means
Rusted brandy in a diamond glass - her quite vague representation of their night undercover. Not the fake moments, those were purely fake and obviously such, but the small pauses in time in which he was genuinely happy with her. Drinking champagne on the couch in diamond glasses. That what it…
Temptation, temptation,
temptation oh,
temptation, temptation,
I can't resist
Who could resist his charm? She smiled, and lip-sung the french parts of the song, their meaning barely registering. It was the next part that was so meaningful to her..
Dutch pink and Italian blue
He is there, oh waiting for you
my will has disappeared
now confusion is oh so clear
temptation, temptation,
temptation I can't resist
Italian blue. That had been her white flag, explaining just who she was talking about. Thankfully none of her co-workers knew nor particularly cared that Tony DiNozzo was Italian. But she had, at the time. Besides, he looked so good in blue…
It was hard to pull herself out of memories.
They were partners now, nothing more.
There had never been a chance for anything but pure friendship.
How they had trusted each other.
Teased each other.
Partners in crime.
That's how she wanted it, above all. If he couldn't make that happen… if she couldn't get rid of the ghost of herself… what would happen to them?
Times like now, she wished he was there. They had to talk. Sure, she'd forgiven him. She'd forgiven everything, or tried to. But some days the teasing went too far. And that they could no longer put complete trust in each other…
That was what hurt the most. She had loved being so close to him lately, but at the same time, trying to shake off her hate was hard. Rivkin was another life, and here was Tony DiNozzo, presenting him to herself. She'd only taken the bait once… once. The kiss on the cheek had been purely friendly. But when he had questioned her about Dunham.
Borderline old-times was how she'd seen it.
How she missed it. Everything she left behind.
Everyone.
She dropped her head into her hands and took a deep breath. One of these days, they had to talk. Before she went insane with worry, regret, and pain. Every word he said stung like a dagger plunged through her heart, because it reminded her of everything he put on the line for her. She hadn't even been willing to give him a second chance.
So Ziva-like, she decided, too much like myself.
A sudden knock at the door brought her out of her trance and she hopped to her feet to answer it, doing her best to look kept and happy. At this time, there was only one person who could be knocking, and it hurt even more to know so.
"Tony," the words were out of her mouth before she could even register that it was him.
"Ziva," was his simple reply.
Ziva waved her hand to let him in, but when he did not move, she took his wrist and led him inside. "What are you doing at this time of night?"
The fire in her voice made him flinch inwardly. "Look, I wanted to talk. You're not yourself and if we don't sort this out Gibbs will make us."
"I know."
"Is that my ninja? Accepting defeat?"
"Astounding, isn't it?"
Sarcasm.
"Yeah, I know. Look, if there's anything you need to say…"
"I have nothing to tell you."
"Okay. Because I can see it in your eyes. You still blame me."
"You're right. You did kill Michael."
"I… yes, I did, Ziva. I'm sorry."
"A sign of weakness."
"…I'm also sorry that I almost got you killed. I should have died, not Rivkin."
"Tony!" her eyes were wide and she stepped closer to him. "Do not think like that. I would give a thousand lives for you."
"Would you?" he asked, his tone slightly suspicious.
"Of course, Tony, we are partners," she explained slowly. "But, is this the only reason you are here?"
"Uh, no," he admitted with a classic DiNozzo smile. "My apartment's kinda flooded and McGeek's skipped town. Can I stay here? I even brought my own t-shirt!"
Ziva rolled her eyes and burst out laughing. All awkwardness evaporated and she just stared into his eyes, continuing to laugh for some time. Finally, she regained her composure and looked him in the eye. "Tony, what am I going to do with you? Of course you can stay. You can take the bed, I'll take the couch."
"Zeee-vah," he laughed, stretching out her name, "We're adults! Can it hurt to share the same bed?"
The mischievous look in his eyes brought another smile to her lips. "I suppose, but only if you keep your hands to yourself. However, we do not have work tomorrow. Are you hoping to stay for the weekend?"
"I… hoped," his voice faltered a bit. "I even brought a few of my movies that I could get to."
"Classic, Tony! But I am exhausted. I need some sleep, and I am sure you do as well. Come with me, I will show you to the bedroom," her voice was serious now. If she had not been so, a smart remark would have most likely followed.
"Please do!" Tony broke the stiffness as always. He followed her slowly down the hall, looking at the different places as he passed by.
Finally they stopped in her room. She smiled, sat down on the headboard, and pointed to the bathroom for him to change. He shook his head, however, and took off his jacket to reveal he was already dressed to sleep. Ziva laughed and rolled into the bed on the left side. He followed suit on the right.
After some time, neither could sleep with the draft. Cautiously, Ziva manoeuvred her body so that she was pressed up beside him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her, his breath hot on her neck and ears. "Are you gonna be okay with this, Zee-vah?"
"It is fine, Tony." her reply was muffled by the blanket over her mouth. "However, you are gripping me rather tight. I suppose this may allow my sleeping through tonight."
"Because I'm here?" it was enough to know he was needed.
"Because you're warm," she explained, laughing. "But yes, it is comforting."
They spent another five minutes in silence before Tony could hardly keep himself from talking. After all, his arms were around his partner and the most beautiful woman he knew. She was beside him, trying to sleep, in her home. The tension was obvious.
"Ziva…" he finally whispered. "I'm really sorry about Michael. I was jealous, you're right. But I meant what I said with the truth serum, and what I said to you in Tel Aviv."
"My mind was rather fuzzy at that time," she lied, "perhaps you could remind me?"
"I told you that I risked it all for you, remember?" Tony could hardly choke at the words. "And that I couldn't live without you. It was all true."
"Tony, are you suggesting we be more than friends? We're barely so right now."
"And yet, here I am, laying in your bed with you in my arms. Woah, that didn't sound right…" he smirked.
She turned to face her partner, smirking, and teasingly placed a small kiss on his nose.
"Haha. Shut up and sleep."