When I found out that you loved me back, I was a little freaked out, a little scared, and a whole lot guilty.
But not happy. I was anything but happy.
.
.
.
when you come home
do you know how hard it is to let your baby go?
.
.
.
"Hey," Sasuke said softly as he sat down beside Sakura on the couch, who was hugging her knees to her chest. "Let's go."
"I don't want to," she mumbled, turning her head away from him.
"You wouldn't want to miss your parents' funeral."
"I don't want to go."
"You're already dressed for it," he pointed out. Naruto stood at the door, his black clothes looking oddly out of place. "Come on. You'll regret it later."
"Can't we just forget about it? I mean, we have school tomorrow anyway…"
"Sakura." Sasuke's tone hardened, and she looked at him, eyes dull. "I will throw you into a potato sack and carry you over my shoulder, if that's what I have to do. And that'll mess up your hair. Do you really want to go there?" She rolled her eyes and sighed, standing up. His hand hovered above the small of her back, almost protectively, as they walked out the door with Naruto.
"I still don't want to go," she told them quietly.
"Stop lying," Sasuke said seriously.
Her head hung low. "Sorry."
"Here." She handed him an envelope. "This month's rent."
Sasuke looked at her. "I told you I'm not accepting any form of payment."
"But that's unfair," she insisted. "You're housing both me and Naruto. We're eating your food and using your water and electricity."
"It doesn't matter. My parents pay for it."
"You're making Naruto pay rent," she reasoned, pushing the envelope gently into his hands.
"Naruto's parents didn't just die. Naruto has a job. Naruto isn't saving up for med school." Sasuke took the envelope and held it up. "This is going to find its way back to you." But she smiled anyway, because he had accepted it.
"Sasuke…" She looked away. "Thank you. So much. You're always helping me way more than you help anyone else, and…" I love you. And I love you.
"Hn." He turned and headed to his room, peeking into the envelope in his hands. You're welcome. I love you too.
"She's out late again," Naruto said, running a hand through his hair. "Things can't continue like this."
"You can only do so much for someone who won't accept help." Sasuke was making dinner—toasted sandwiches. Their dinner was toasted sandwiches, with turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, mustard and mayonnaise. They were Sakura's favorite—no matter what meal it was.
"Where do you think she is?"
"The bridge, most likely. She's always there."
"The bridge…" Naruto's voice trailed off. "Wait. She won't jump off, right?"
Sasuke looked up. "I meant the bridge near the woods," he said flatly. "The one above the creek."
Naruto blinked. "Oh."
Sasuke carefully packed four sandwiches into a container—one for Sasuke and Sakura each, and two for Naruto—because he always had a large appetite. "C'mon, dobe. Let's go find her."
"Sasuke." Naruto grabbed his wrist, and he looked at him. "Will she be alright?"
It was quiet for a long moment.
Sasuke's lips pressed together in a grim line. "It's not like you to be so cryptic."
Naruto stared at him, eyes softening. "Saying it out loud feels wrong."
"She'll be alright if she doesn't know."
"She'll know, Sasuke." Naruto's grip tightened. "She'll know, and you know it."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Let go." Naruto's fingers left his wrist, but reluctantly. "Let's go find Sakura." Turning away sharply, he walked briskly out the door.
Naruto stood there for a long moment before grimacing and following behind him.
"You're going to tell her," Naruto muttered as they neared the bridge.
"You're as much a part of this as I am."
"You know she'd rather hear it from you. If I told her—your friendship will be damaged forever. You know that. And honestly, teme, if I can say that, you know how important it is."
"Shut up."
Naruto smiled a little when Sakura turned to look at them, eyes dull. "Sakura-chan," he said warmly, pulling her into a hug. She returned it half-heartedly. "What are you doing here?"
"Just thinking," she said. She glanced at Sasuke, smiling. It didn't reach her eyes. "Hi, Sasuke."
Sasuke held out the container. "I have dinner," he said. "Eat something. You should be hungry."
"I'm not."
"You didn't eat lunch."
"You're so creepy," she said. "Why would you even take note of whether I ate or not?" But nevertheless, her eyes lit up a little, and she accepted a sandwich. "Thanks for always doing this for me."
"We're friends. It's what friends do."
She smiled softly at the sandwich in her hands. "Thanks."
"So guess what happened to me today?" Naruto said cheerfully, taking a large bite out of his sandwich and throwing his free arm around her shoulders. "Neji, Hinata-chan's overprotective cousin, came up to me today and said that he'd castrate me if I hurt Hinata-chan again."
Her laugh was gentle, like wind chimes, the sound being carried away by the breeze. "He doesn't know you're gay?"
"Well, I've only really been with Gaara, and it was for the sex. So nah. I told Hinata-chan last week, though. When I told Neji, it looked like he got his panties in a knot." He laughed.
"You should be proud," Sakura told him. "Being able to talk about your sexuality so freely."
"I am." His expression was soft and caring, and he pulled her closer to him. "Y'know, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be in the closet."
"Mm." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Well, I'm your friend. That's what friends do."
"Don't steal my line," Sasuke, who was standing on her other side, snapped. "Make your own."
"As friends, we have the right to take each other's lines," she teased. "So when I tell Naruto how much I appreciate him and his friendship, you don't have to feel guilty to say the same thing. You know, when you finally get around to getting over yourself."
He smirked wryly. "I'll keep that in mind."
Naruto left to buy some drinks from the nearby vending machine. Sasuke and Sakura stood side by side, staring at the sunset, and everything beyond that.
"I love you," she said.
"I know."
"You don't know." She kept her eyes straight ahead, appearing strangely calm. "When I say I love you, I mean I'm in love with you. I love you as in, I want to hold hands with you and go on dates, and maybe eventually get married and have children."
His sigh was weary. "I know." When he looked at her, he saw that tears were making their way down her cheeks soundlessly. "Stop crying."
"I'm not crying."
"You are. Stop being so stubborn."
Her movements were slow as she turned and slipped her arms around his waist, pulling him close. He sighed again, placing a hand on her head. When he looked up, he saw Naruto standing a little ways away, struggling to carry three cans of soda.
"I love you," she mumbled again into his chest.
He closed his eyes briefly. "I know."
"Did you tell her?"
"No."
"Dude, I'm going to kick your ass."
"You try telling her when she's crying and confessing her love for you, dobe."
"…She really cares, doesn't she?"
"Since middle school."
"It never stopped?"
"I doubt it did."
"…This is going to be a lot harder than I thought."
Nearing midnight, Naruto was out like a light in his room, while Sasuke was in his, most likely reading a book. Quietly, Sakura tiptoed out of the house, glad that things only really got going in clubs late at night.
The music was pulsing, and she ordered herself a drink, sitting at the bar. It wasn't long before she was approached.
"Hello." She looked up at a boy around her age. He had dark hair and darker eyes and a pale complexion, very similar to Sasuke.
"Hello."
"Is this seat taken?" He had a very sweet smile—unlike Sasuke.
She shook her head. "Go ahead."
"I'm Sai," he introduced, after ordering himself a beer.
"I'm Sakura."
"You look sad, Sakura. After you're done your drink, would you like to dance with me?"
She looked at him. He was very courteous and polite, and pleasant, even. She smiled. "Sure."
So when she finished her drink, and he drained the rest of his beer, they headed to the dance floor, where hot and sweaty people were gathered and moving to the beat. His hands settled at her small waist, and she raised her arms above her head as she pressed her body to his. She said nothing when he bent down to whisper empty compliments into her ear, but only concentrated more on her dancing.
After an uncountable number of minutes, she looked at him with dull eyes, panting heavily, before pressing her lips to his in a heated kiss. He responded eagerly; teeth knocking and tongues dancing.
She asked him to take her home that night.
He did.
"Where were you last night?" Sasuke demanded.
She shrugged. "Out."
His eyes narrowed. "Where."
"It's none of your business."
"As long as you live under this roof, it's my business. Where the hell were you last night."
"No where you'd care about!" she shouted, shoving past him and into the bathroom to shower. His foot caught on the door before she could close it completely, and she opened it a little, glaring at him.
"You smell like smoke," he said. "And alcohol. And sex."
She stood up straight. "I do not," she said haughtily. "Not like you'd know what sex smells like anyway." He stiffened, but didn't back down.
"Where were you last night."
Exasperated, she threw the door open with a loud bang. "I was at a club, okay? I found a cute guy, and I slept with him. Stop interrogating me like you're my father, or like you actually care!"
"Sakura." He gripped her shoulders firmly, eyes dangerous. "Don't you ever say that I don't care."
"If you cared, you'd—"
"I can't make myself fall in love with you just because I care."
She looked at him darkly. "I know. I was going to say that if you cared, you would actually bother to tell me things." His eyes hardened. "Don't think I don't know, Uchiha Sasuke. You're hiding something from me. And I don't know what it is, but you're just as pissed at me for hiding things from you as I am at you."
His grip was bruising on her shoulders, but after a moment, he let go and pulled her abruptly into his arms.
"I care too much," he said quietly.
She carefully pried his arms off of her and held his hands, looking up at him with sad eyes.
"I know."
She looked up from her homework as Sasuke entered her room and shut the door loudly. "Hi." He stood there for a long moment, so she said, "You look constipated."
"I'm…" He closed his eyes, and breathed in slowly. "I'm gay." She didn't say anything. "With Naruto."
Her laugh sounded empty. "The worst part is, I'm not even surprised."
"So it's impossible for me to be constipated," he said seriously.
"What, so you bottom?"
"We switch."
"It changes. That's good. It adds spice. Do you guys use toys?"
"There's a line, Sakura. You just crossed it."
"Sorry." Her smile was small, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Sorry…" She dropped her pen and it landed on the floor with a small thud, and she wrapped her arms around herself, almost as if trying to keep herself from falling apart. Her body shook in silent sobs. "I'm so sorry…"
"You're not the one at fault," Sasuke said.
"You had to act straight for me. Because you were afraid you'd hurt me."
"We're all afraid sometimes." She didn't answer, so he walked up to her and kneeled down so he could look straight at her. "Sakura. I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "You can't help who you love." I would know. "You know, I always thought I had a chance. I always just thought…" She swallowed. "That you weren't interested in girls yet. Or that you thought I wasn't ready. But…" She laughed again through her tears. "You don't even like boobs. You like penises."
"Boobs are still nice," he told her.
"Yeah, well, you would still reject me if I came into your room, wearing nothing but a strap-on."
"Sakura, you just crossed the line again."
"Shut up! I'm an emotional wreck!" she wailed. "I'm on my period, too!"
Sasuke paused. "Please shut up."
When Naruto peeked into the room, he saw Sasuke holding a quietly crying Sakura on her bed. "Aw, Sakura-chan." He sat on her other side and looked up at the ceiling. "We still love you."
"Shut up. I know."
"If you ever want a threesome, we're up for it."
The other two friends didn't miss a beat. "No."
.
.
.
When I found out that you loved me back, the first thing I thought about was how hurt Sakura-chan would be. Not because you weren't in love with her—but because you never intended to tell her in the first place.
Because not knowing is what hurts the most.
notes: i appreciate you caring about me, but just because i like you doesn't mean you have to keep everything from me. i am your friend. fucking talk to me.
(by the way, i would like to point out that the point of this fic isn't to freak out homophobes or to promote homosexuality—because it shouldn't need to be promoted. homosexuals are just as equal as heterosexuals. but i don't think i need to emphasize that too much, as most people on ffn openly support homosexuality.)