Title:Night
Author: Clumsylittlegirl
Language: English
Rating: T
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Authors Note: Yeah, I know I haven't made a chapter for this in forevvverrr! But I apologize and I give you this for my sorry present. Do you accept it?This chapter may be a little different form the other ones but its because its diving into an area of her life that isn't surrounded with Damon. Basically he had engulfed her life. And I'm trying to have more dialogue and still have the same amount of detail. BUT, alas I will not give up any other details. I wanna keep it under wraps. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.
Crimson blood flowing freely,
Ragged and torn head in hand,
the ending comes by force.
Slowly but surely,
the life drains,
leaving a soulless body.
No one understands the beauty.
As I use their blood to paint a mural,
It's thrilling to have a work done.
Piece by piece I dispose of the corpse properly.
It goes undiscovered.
When I leave them, limbs covered by dirt,
a part of me leaves with them.
Vanishing in the wind.
I think this my my creativity
This simple trait of mine.
I
The bell rang, and at that students around me started babbling incoherently. Talking of their plans, to hang out with one another. Their voices were only white noise to me though. Hissing around me, not taking any shape, but slipping, and sliding, by me.
Things were like that now. Incoherent, muffled, stifled. Everything was taking a backseat, fading into the background. Things that usually had me going, things that would usually get me out of a bad mood, weren't working anymore. This class, one of my most difficult, yes, but usually the most pleasing, had failed in getting me out of my bubble. I tried not to get feel that acidic burn when I realized that. That feeling of complete, and utter failure.
I hadn't been listening to the class. At all. I tried, a little frantically, to remember some of the class, anything of it, really. But I couldn't. I remembered daydreaming, in and out, about His eyes, His velvety smooth skin, and..I was doing it again. I shook my ahead, frustrated. I had missed a whole hour and a half of lecture. And more importantly, I had no idea what the homework was.
A group who was sitting in front of me, started packing up their things. They were talking of their plans, to hang out with one another. I scowled, having no such plans. Since I had started college, I had no time to hang out with friends. I had totally isolated myself since the incident, and hadn't been talking to many of my friends recently. But they would manage. I mean, they had classes too, so they probably didn't have any time either. But, all of their calls, texts, emails, and pages weren't very promising. Though, they would have to give up soon. I hoped.
A blond walked past my table. There was a boy by her side, with an arm draped over her. She looked down when she passed, down at me. She had a slight accusing look in her glance. I sat straight in my seat, and looked right back. She quickly looked away, her cheeks dusting a pinkish color, when she didn't get the reaction she wanted. I had gathered that she probably thought I would look abashed, maybe ashamed that I was caught listening in on their conversation. Of course I didn't. I hadn't blushed, and I probably shocked her.
I gave the couple, another glance. (Obviously a couple, if the guy draping his arm over her was a sign of something, and I think it was.) They were obviously very social, having tons of friends, talking to tons of people. Something I have never been, even before I met Him. I only had a limited number of friends, and my stunt that I've been pulling, ignoring their calls, and such, obviously hadn't gained me any new ones.
I had given up trying to be social, because it was getting to hard to. If you ever been in college, you know this. You have three things to manage: Schoolwork, sleep, and your social network. You could only choose two, because it was utterly impossible to juggle all three. I, of course, had chosen the first two, effectively deleting the social reliability off of my list.
My classmates, most likely, had chosen the latter two. And I didn't even take into account how my social life would fail. One failed relationship after another has left me with the other two. Not that I really cared. My encounter with him has left me a little numb when I talk to others. I don't thrive on communication like I did when I was in high school. I thrive on solitude now. Thinking, and trying to understand life.
As I wandered away from the class, I tripped, on my two feet. I cursed my equilibrium, balance was never a talent of mine. A tan hand appeared in my line of sight, and when I looked up there was a boy. And when my eyes met his, I gasped.
It was that boy, the one that had his arm draped around his girlfriend. He smiled down at me, a small, soft tug of his lips.
And I felt again for the first time in a long time.
II
"Move a little to the right, Okay?"
Click
"Are you done? I'm getting tired of staying like this."
Click
And looked up to watch my brother squirm under my gaze. I glared at him with a withering glance.
"No! I'm not even close to being done. Now stay still. And move to the left. I want to get more of you in this. Stay still. And put your arms back down. Move your hand to your left cheek? No, try your right one. Yes! That's it. Stop squirming! I need you completely still."
He looked up and squinted from his position.
"I still don't understand why you need me. Why couldn't you use someone else?" He whined , tilting his head to the side, messing up his pose.
"Move your head back!" I took another picture. His eyes came out greenish looking in this one. "I can't use anyone else because this part of the assignment I have to photograph my relative. You fit that criteria. Do you see anyone else related to me, Einstein?"
He sighed, aggravated and muttered "I don't even think I'm related to you sometimes."
I kicked him, and he yelped, glaring at me, rubbing his pint sized leg.
"What did you say?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Thats what I thought." I smiled, taking one last picture.
I look through the pictures on the camera I had already taken. I decided that I was satisfied with them. And waved him off the stool.
I didn't have to say a word. He jumped off the stool, and ran toward the other side of the park.
I yelled after him. "Elliot! Don't go any farther than the park, OK?" He looked like he didn't take kindly to me yelling after him and stopped, looking back.
He waved in consent. His blue eyes were sparkling, and when he turned to run to the swings, his short blond hair was getting rustled in the breeze.
Watching my younger brother for the day and getting some of my assignment done. It's a win-win.
III
My major was photography. I had a talent, some would say. A gift in that area and I had decided that I would play upon my strength, taking pictures professionally instead of aiming to major in another field. My parents, had, and still disagree vehemently with my decision.
This showed when I dropped Elliot off.
"Honey! How have you been?" She kissed Elliot on his head messily and he wiped at his head looking disgusted, walking to his room. I hadn't realized that he had hit that stage. The one that you started thinking that parents were icky, and kisses and hugs were gross. I mean, he hadn't acted that way when I gave him a hug. I hadn't seen him that much, I had to admit. But I missed this? I immediately started feeling bad. Had I missed that much out of his life?
My mom greeted me semi-warmly at the door. I wasn't surprised though. She always put a fake act on when she was around Elliot. Around everyone really. It was always fake, and sometimes I didn't know when she was being sincere.
She was fake. Plastic, like a barbie doll. You know how, if you put a barbie in water, it's hair gets all frizzy, and it clothing gets all wrinkly and faded. But if you do it so many times the paint fades, revealing what it truly is, and how it really isn't perfect. Just plastic.
I kind of wanted to do that to my mom.
"Hey, mom"
"Hi, dear." She smiles at me, the picture of warmth, but her eyes betray her. Her eyes weren't warm, they showed the emotion her mouth really wanted to convey. They were narrowed and angry.
"How has college been treating you?"
"Good."
"Really? And how about your...job?" She asked, trying to appear sly. didn't have a job, and she knew this. I was a freelancer, before I met him, but then, I just didn't have the time... I was looking though, and that was a start.
"Fine. Same old, same old."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed but she didn't look it.
"So, it was nice seeing you." I tried to rush out, I didn't want to spend any time with her, but she caught my arm.
"Have you decided anything, yet? You know your father has an opening for an intern at the hospital. He could keep it open for you?" She looked hopeful.
I snatched my arm away, and tried not to scowl at her.
"No. I haven't. Now can I go?"
Her lips tightened, like she didn't expect this and she nodded tightly.
And I stalked out of the house.
III