Chapter 3: Faint
I groan as I slam the door behind me, thanking my lucky stars that I can go home now.
My job used to be wonderful, but ever since this afternoon, it's been torture. Emmett even commented on it and asked if I was okay—he never does that, even on the days when my period has me curled up in a ball of tears and pain like a rabid animal. I had no idea what to tell him of course—'Don't worry Em, I'm only masturbating to the image of your fuck-hot younger brother Edward.'
Or not.
I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I ended up just telling him that I was upset about something at school that I had just remembered. He'd even tried to help, bless his soul. Even if I do want to kill him for being in my face now of all times, I love him.
Reluctantly, I think back to this afternoon. I'd made my excuses to Edward—namely, that I was working and needed to get back—and zoomed through the store as if I had a rocket attached to my crotch. Might as well have—I was uncomfortable enough, thanks to the lovely 'turned on' button that Edward had inadvertently pushed a few times too many today. And because I was technically on the job, taking care of the discomfort didn't seem right, so I just had to deal with it all day.
The look on his face as I blushed and stammered excuses before running away with my horny tail tucked between my legs was burned into my memory—confused, concerned, slightly wounded.
Sorry, grocery boy, but I'm not banging my boss's brother, no matter how much I may want you to push me up against a goddamn shelf, pop the buttons off my jeans to get to me sooner, and plunge yourself into me until I'm screaming and pulling your hair and clenching around you in a blessed release, and the cops are on the way to arrest us both for indecent exposure and public displays of affection. Then I want us to go at it in jail. Yeah, I'm that hot for you, Edward. And you're related to my fucking boss, you perfect prick.
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you to just believe this is real
I blow my bangs out of my face and hitch my purse up higher on my shoulder, face burning again. Damn, I just want to get home and get him off my mind now—if that means a date with my own hand, so be it.
When I turn the corner onto my street and finally look up from the rock I'm kicking along the pavement, I groan—Alice is sitting on the steps outside my apartment, clearly waiting for me since I can see Jasper's motorcycle in the parking lot, which means he's upstairs.
Hoping I'm not too late, I duck behind the low brick wall that lines the other side of my street, and glare up at the leaves of a tree above me. How I wish I didn't have to deal with her tonight. I love the girl, really, but… can't I just suffer alone tonight and get my heat for Edward out of the way?
Sadly, Alice's all-too-annoyed face appears over the wall. It's a wonder she can even bend over it, short as she is. I sigh and stare up at her wordlessly.
"Busy, are you?" she snaps, tapping her nails on top of the bricks.
"Er, yes," I say. "I'm actually on my way home to scratch an itch."
Her face crumples in confusion. "Really, Bella, you're so weird. The only reason we're even possibly stopping by your apartment is to dress you up for tonight. We're going out."
"Ha," I snort. "You're funny, Alice."
"And you're shit out of luck, babe," she says, snarky and smirky and too confident.
And right.
"Fuck," I sigh. "You suck."
"Yeah, suck dick," she jokes as she waits for me to stand.
"Not Jasper's," I snipe back, delivering the low blow. Ha. Blow.
Alice rolls her eyes. "You're such a bitch when you don't get your way, I swear to God you're like a five year old sometimes."
"I'm taking a shower," I tell her, hoping I'll have time to work myself to release. I can't go anywhere wound up this tightly.
"Five minutes," she says.
Fuck. Get clean and unleash the coil? In five minutes? Damn her.
"Twelve," I bargain. "And I'll even let you force me into heels."
"Sheesh, Bella, desperate aren't you?" Alice snorts, and I roll my eyes and begin to drag myself up from the grass.
"Kind of," I mutter under my breath.
"Great. Twelve minutes as soon as the water starts," she tells me, nodding firmly.
Jasper is sitting on the couch and reading a magazine when I walk in—he smiles at me, and I watch as his grin becomes mega-watt 'she's here, she's here!' status as his eyes fall on Alice. "Hey," he says, acting calm and cool. "You found her, then."
"Yup, she was hiding behind the brick wall across the street. We're going out—you can come, if you want to," Alice says, gliding past him. I watch over my shoulder as his face becomes glazed with lust, and I hope he gives into her soon. This little demon won't give up on cracking that man, ever. And once she's got the promise of Jasper waiting to fuck her at whatever point in time she desires, my life will be my own again and I'll be free to get off in the shower without a time limit.
The dress isn't as bad as it has been—this one is actually kind of me. I chalk it up to Alice getting to know me better daily. It's sleeveless, navy blue with a white ribbon around the waist and a white bow with detail around the collar—it's hits me at about my knees, and I'm grateful that I'm not playing hoochie-mama tonight.
I grab the dress, a white bra and panty set, and hurriedly head for the shower.
So, I let go watchin' you, turn your back
Like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you are all that I've got
As soon as the hot water is spraying down on my back, my hands are already transforming into Edward's and I'm panting with need. He laughs quietly, lowly, as he pushes me lightly up against the wall of the shower—the cold tile is a shock to the skin of my back, but it only adds to the sensation of his perfect hands tracing over my body—starting at my collarbones, dancing down to lightly circle my breasts, becoming firmer as he pushes his body into mine. I moan, and he claps his hand over my mouth.
"Shh, Bella, they'll hear," he whispers, breath hot on my sensitive ear. "We won't be able to finish."
His other hand moves directly to where I want it most, and the hand over my mouth clamps down harder as his fingers trace my wet folds, light and torturous before they slip inside to land on my clit, pressure and heat rippling up to brush my stomach, which has long since clenched in anticipation.
"How do you want it, Bella? Tell me," he breathes against my neck, and I'm pleased to note his breathing is turning into panting too. He moves his hand from my mouth to my waist, tracing absently over the skin, barely noticeable.
I shiver. "Edward," I whisper. I can't say more, can't form the words.
"Come on, Bella, tell me," he says, fingers circling my clit in a dance that is just working me up more.
"Inside," I gasp. "Please."
"Inside, Bella? Like this?"
I gasp again as his finger plunges into me, and try not to moan. "More," I pant.
Wordlessly, he adds another, and I can practically hear every time his fingers move in and out. I'm so close to release, day long frustration adding to the intensity.
"Harder," I order breathlessly, and he obliges, letting his heavy head fall on my shoulder. I imagine the way his arms will look as they flex as he pounds his hand into me, and then I think about how it will feel when I can wrap my legs around his waist and bite his shoulder as another part of him pleasures me.
He covers my mouth again as I start making unintelligible sounds, and finally my blessed release coats his—my—fingers. He disappears as his beautiful phantom lips whisper something soundlessly against my neck, and I'm left alone and thinking of him.
I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored, time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored
Gasping, I let my head loll against the wall before Alice pounds on the door, effectively startling me. "Hurry up, Bella, nine minutes down!"
It's fucking embarrassing to be sure, but I can't really find it in myself to care at the moment as I rush through my shower routine. I wonder how my routine will change once I get him in here with me, and then chide myself and remember that he's related to my boss. Any of his sexual escapades with me will most likely make it back to my employer and then I'll be screwed for being screwed.
I dry off and get dressed quickly, listening to Alice on the other side of the door as she talks nonstop about our clothes and activities and other things I don't pay attention to. She whips the door open as soon as I unlock it and holds up my shoes—navy toed with white sides, navy buttons, and a red underside to the heel. They're cute, and remind me of some old profession, but they go well with my dress and I almost don't care that I'll probably trip numerous times or break one of them. I don't ask about their origins, because I'm afraid of what Alice will tell me about the price.
Alice's outfit is more flamboyant than mine, as per her usual—her dress is a cross between teal and turquoise, one shouldered with a small black belt at the waist. A pair of heart-shaped black glasses hangs from the side of her purse, and her high platform peep toed heels scare me just looking at them. As always, her ring adorns her right index finger—'We're all mad here,' a play on her favorite movie and what she claims is her namesake.
She brushes through my hair anxiously, but doesn't pause to dry or straighten it—it will wave as the evening goes on, and she tells me she's counting on this as she sets a navy blue hat on my head, waving her own black one in front of me. I laugh, and she pokes at my face with mascara and eyeliner and lip gloss before declaring me done. I wish Edward could see me like this, wonder what it would do to him if I looked like the pinup girl Alice is trying to make me into, and then I sigh and banish those thoughts.
I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
Jasper leans his head into the bathroom and tells us he's ready to go when we are. Alice smiles at him, sultry and beautiful and cute in her dress, pale skin of her free shoulder tantalizing his greedy eyes. "Ready," she says, and I'm pretty sure Jasper catches her double meaning. I hope so. And I hope he doesn't come back tonight.
I grab my watch and Alice makes me clasp on her necklace as we rush out of the apartment, locking it behind us and bounding down the stairs like drunk college students—or soon to be drunk, anyway.
Jasper offers to drive us, but I remind him that my truck doesn't like him and his Ducati only sits two at most. He shrugs and blushes, and Alice rolls her eyes and presses a button so that her cute Mini Cooper chirps at us. "Bella in back," she orders, and I sigh as I climb in, hoping I'm not flashing my best friend as I do so.
Alice distracts Jazz as she starts driving to wherever she's taking us—I hadn't asked for directions, because I am afraid that if I know I'll jump out of the moving car and wind up either dead or in the hospital, which contrary to true belief, I think is even worse than a club.
I'm left alone in the backseat to wonder about my day and lament my conversation with Edward. I want to hit myself with a heavy book until my brain spasms as I recall the many times Emmett has mentioned his younger brother—Edward this, Edward that. I hated hearing about his Edward, but I hadn't connected the dots when I first met Grocery Boy Edward. He couldn't possibly be any further from Emmett's Brother Edward, in my opinion. Unless, apparently, they were one and the same.
I am what you never want to say but I've never
Had a doubt, it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
Jasper surprises me by turning on the radio to a loud bouncy pop station—usually he's listening to mellow and indie instead of… uh… Lady Gaga, if I'm correct—which I am, because I actually like this song sometimes.
My phone rings when Alice announces we're just around the corner and should be looking out for any opportune parking spaces. I answer as I point over Jasper's shoulder to an empty spot. "Hello?"
"Hey Bella. Is Alice on her way yet?"
"Um… Kate?" I ask, surprised. "How'd you get my number?"
"Oh, I asked Alice after classes earlier. Are you guys here yet?" She's shouting into the phone over the loud music of the club I'm presuming we're hitting up tonight.
"Yeah," I sigh unwillingly.
"How's grocery boy?" she asks teasingly. "Did you bring him?"
I groan. "I'll tell you inside. And no, I did not and cannot. Bye."
Alice miraculously gets us in within fifteen minutes; she grabs the skirt of my dress and pulls me around the edges of the dance floor to a booth of white leather—occupied by no less than four couples. I stop walking and hastily jerk away from Alice's grip as Kate leans around a beautiful brunette to laugh at none other than my darling boss.
Fuck. Just fuck my life. First Edward's revelation, dealing with an awkward Emmett all afternoon, and now stuck in the same booth as my boss again, after using the image of his brother to get off…
So, I let go watchin' you, turn your back
Like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you are all that I've got
Jasper pushes past me, smiling, and rests his hand on Alice's lower back. She's lit up instantly, and Kate laughs when she notices them standing there, sliding further into the booth. The blond guy sitting next to her, who I recognize as Garrett from my American Literature class, laughs and pulls her onto his lap, and I can't help but want to leave. Alice looks around for me threateningly, and I mime drinking something. She nods, and Kate waves enthusiastically, hitting the table to get everyone's attention and pointing at me. I can read her lips as she introduces me by name. Fuck.
Emmett's face breaks into a grin and he's suddenly jumping up and yelling something across the crowd—his girl looks thoroughly annoyed; she's rolling her eyes and I know she thinks he's an idiot—she won't last beyond an hour. I blush and hesitantly wave at him before disappearing into the crowd to get to the bar across the room.
The bartender barely chances a glance at me, and I know it must be the dress or something, because my fake ID actually works. I order a Corona and turn to lean against the bar and look over the domain Alice chose for us tonight. I recognize a lot of the girls on the dance floor as university students—some I've never talked to, and some I say 'hi' to in passing. Kate hadn't lied when she said it was girl's night out.
Rosalie Hale is sitting at a table by herself. She was in my psychology elective last semester, and we'd gotten along pretty well. I wonder if she'll mind company, and then decide to chance it. "Hey, Rose," I say quietly, standing next to her.
"Bella! I haven't seen you in ages! Sit down, bitch!" she orders, a pleased smile lighting up her blue eyes. "Damn, girl, you clean up good."
I laugh uncomfortably. "Alice Brandon fixed me," I tell her, rolling my eyes. "How have you been?"
"Great, except for lack of acceptable boyfriend material," she groans, sighing heavily. We laugh, and she shrugs. "But oh well. I don't want some asshole who doesn't appreciate a good car or someone under it anyway. What's going on in Bella's love life?"
I scrunch up my face as I remember Edward. "The guy I'm major crushing on is my boss's younger brother," I admit mournfully.
Rose laughs, and laughs, and continues on until every guy in a ten foot radius is staring at our table—or her breasts, whichever. "Your luck is as black as my heart," she giggles, wiping her eyes and taking a sip of the margarita in front of her. "Is he hot?"
"Yeah," I mutter, resting my head in my hands. "And I can't do anything about it because he'll likely tell his brother, who is my boss, which is just awkward and will probably get me fired."
"Hmm… you could use a fake name," she suggests.
"I already told him my name today, before I finally figured out he was related to Emmett."
Her eyebrows rise. "Not to be rude or anything, but you're insanely bad at this romancing thing."
"Thanks," I say acidly. "I kind of figured that one out for myself, actually."
"No need to get all offended," Rosalie smirks, holding up her hands as if I had stolen my father's position in the law force. Officer Swan, female: kicking ass for every insult. "I was just observing."
"Bella!"
I groan and peek through my fingers when I see Kate marching determinedly toward our table. "Gah, they've found me," I mutter quietly, and take a swig of my beer to steel myself.
"You look like you're dishing about grocery boy—tell Auntie Katie too," she wheedles, smiling evilly as she sits next to Rose. "I'm Kate, this is Bella, and you're Rosalie. Good, now talk, Bell."
Rosalie's eyebrows have gone up again, but she seems amused as she sips from her drink, eyes on Kate for just a second before turning back to me. I had kind of hoped she would get annoyed and kick Kate's ass across the club—not that I don't like Kate, but it's basically her fault I'm here and talking about Edward in the first place.
I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored, time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored
"He's a grocery boy?" Rosalie asks finally.
I groan, and spill the whole story, sparing no small detail until they're both leaning toward me with eyes as big as saucers, reminding me of four year olds—if four year olds were interested in sexy grocery boys and the effect they have on women like Bella Swan.
We're all silent for a moment, and I mournfully take the last sip of my beer. Kate purses her lips and glances across the room. "Well, imagine that. My newest boyfriend is friends with your boss, who is the brother of your grocery boy, who is part of your nightly ritual via shower and store… wonder if Garrett knows Edward?"
"Don't ask," I moan. "Please."
Rosalie frowns across the room, and then her eyes widen and she looks back at me so fast her head reminds me of a stripper on a pole. "Bella! I can't believe you!"
I flinch at her shout. "What?!" I ask, sitting up straight and staring at her, aghast.
"I can't believe you," she yells, even louder this time, eyes darting to a spot over my shoulder before landing on mine again, unfocused. I wonder how much she's had to drink, annoyed by her insensitivity. Why did I tell them the story again? It's not like they threatened me with death by stiletto.
"You're the one who asked for the story!" I wail, looking down at my empty bottle sadly. "I know I'm pathetic, leave me be."
Kate's eyes widen and she looks at Rosalie the same way Rose had previously looked at me. "Oh my God! Brilliant!" she whispers, and then looks at me disapprovingly. "Bella, Rose is right. You can't just ignore this feeling."
"What else am I supposed to do?" I growl at the table. "Go up to him and tell him, 'Hey, I know you're working right now, but would you mind if we went into the back room and fucked like bunnies for a few hours or so?' Somehow I don't think it would go over all too well with my boss. And I like my job."
The hair on my arms rises as something warm presses against my back, and my nose is immediately aware of exactly who is leaning over me now. "Do I want to know what you three are talking about?" he asks, voice silky as my panties, which should spontaneously catch on fire right about now. Shit, fuck, my life is over.
No, hear me out now, you're gonna listen to me
Like it or not, right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not, right now
"Bella's dismal dating style," Rosalie groans, waving a hand at me. I glare at her, panicked and finally understanding her motives. "Whatever. I'm going to go dance and find myself a man. Wallow if you want to, Bella. Keep her company," she orders, and I don't have to see Edward's face to know he's lifting his eyebrow at her.
Kate rolls her eyes and stands with her. "I've got to get back to Garrett and make sure he's not intending to perform karaoke or something stupid like that. Good night, Bella, Edward."
Hesitantly, Edward takes the seat next to me and hands me a beer, bless his soul. "It's kind of creepy that girl knows my name. Here, you're probably underage, but you had one in front of you, so…" he says quietly, shrugging and leaning back. He won't look at me, and I feel extremely guilty and awkward.
We're quiet for a few moments as I stare at my beer, and then I sigh heavily. "I'm sorry about earlier."
Edward looks at me with confused eyes, dark enough in the limited lighting of the club that I can't even tell how green they are. "What was that about anyway?" he asks, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on the table in front of us.
"Erm… well… you're related to my boss," I admit quietly, groaning and dropping my head to hit the table a few times.
My forehead lands on his hand when he slides it between the table top and me, and I sigh and look up at him. "And that made you run for what reason?" he inquires, eyebrow lifting. He doesn't look hurt anymore, which is good, but he's more confused than ever.
"I… well… I mean…" I stammer at him, staring at his perfect face as if he'd suggested we rip off our clothes right now and go at it under the table. This probably isn't as bad as my wish for getting it up the aisle, though. And I kind of want to rip off our clothes and go at it, if I'm being honest. I resolve to lie from now on.
He rolls his eyes and stands up. "No, wait! Don't go!" I blurt out, jumping out of my seat. "Please."
"I wasn't going to," he says, surprised, looking down at me. "At least, not alone. Want to talk outside, where it's quieter?"
I'm hesitating—inside, there's a chance that he won't hear when I finally admit how badly I want his body, but outside it's more private and it's probably not blazing hot. He smiles at me hopefully, nodding toward the door, and I sigh and pick up my bag. "Yeah," I finally answer. "Good idea."
We've only gone three steps before I feel the heat of his hand on my lower back, guiding me with the lightest pressure. My breathing stutters, and my thoughts flash to how his hand should move around to cup my waist, the other joining on the opposite side of my body as he bends me over a table, lifts my dress, and takes me from behind. Fuck, what this boy does to me. I've never been so horny or kinky.
I see Rosalie dancing with none other than Emmett—his earlier date is macking on some blond against a wall, right next to—finally—Jasper and Alice. I pause to stare at them in shocked pleasure, and Edward leans forward to brush my hair away from my ear, perfect lips moving at my neck just as I had imagined so many times. "You're slightly voyeuristic," he whispers, and I shiver.
"They're my best friends and I've been waiting for them to get together for ages," I tell him, glancing behind me. He's so close I can smell him and practically taste him on my tongue. I want to taste him on my tongue.
Edward smirks and pushes me forward gently, until finally we're outside in the cold and I'm breathing in the cigarette-tinted air. He leads us across the street to a conveniently placed park, and we settle on a bench a few feet from the nearest light. It's behind him, shadowing his face as he turns to look at me. "So."
"Yeah," I say, avoiding the topic.
"How does working for Emmett make you suddenly terrified of me?" he asks, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at me sideways.
I open my mouth, close it, and suck my lip into my mouth as I think. "I…"
He chuckles briefly and sits up again, stretching his long arms along the back of the bench—the one behind me isn't close enough for my liking, but I'll deal with it. "You said my song was too easy earlier," he mentions out of the blue, changing the subject.
I'm grateful for the reprieve, and I know he's trying to make me more comfortable. "Do you have another for me?"
"I have three. One is another easy song. 'I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored.''"
"Faint, Linkin Park," I answer, smiling. "It's one of my favorites of theirs. The early stuff is better in their case."
"Good," he approves, and I can see half of his smile in the streetlight. The other side is shadow, and I'm forcibly reminded of my tattoo.
"And the other songs?" I ask.
"I'll tell you later," he promises. "I stocked up."
I laugh, and shake my head. "What makes you so sure I'll be around to hear them?" I tease, nudging him with my elbow.
He chuckles again, and I'm trapped in the waves of soft creamy chocolate and honey and silk and music and sex and—I interrupt myself when he turns to face me more fully, pulling one knee up on the bench between us. Unthinkingly, I mirror his position and wait, all the while wondering what would happen if I stood up and straddled his lap like a hooker.
"Just a thought," he says, shrugging nonchalantly.
A thought can be very dangerous, Mr. Cullen—if you don't know that, you don't know me very well at all.
It's quiet as we sit and think, and I know he's waiting for me to speak now, but my mind is so busy that I'm torn between remembering the monkey from Phantom of the Opera and comparing Edward to Erik the Opera Ghost.
Finally, I sigh. "I was embarrassed because I really like you and I can't do anything about that because I'm employed by your brother and things would be very very awkward if I acted the way I want to," I finally admit. Maybe the alcohol has made me brave, or it just drowned out the sensible side of me. Either way, it's out in the open now.
Edward is silent for a second, and then I can hear the smile in his voice when he talks. "How exactly do you want to act?"
I gape at him, and then realize he's teasing and hit him on the chest, glaring playfully. "Don't test me," I threaten, and he laughs at me, grabbing my hand in his.
"Wouldn't dream of it. Can I tell you how I want to act around you, even when I'm at work and it would be very inappropriate?" His voice has lowered, and the husky tone feathers across my sensitive skin as if he was dragging his long elegant fingers over me again. I shudder, and squeeze my legs together.
"Yes," I whisper, biting my lower lip.
I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored, time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored
"When I first saw you, you didn't notice me—you were walking down the baking aisle where I was stocking chocolate chips, and you were biting your lip, just like you are now—that's always turned me on, and that night was no exception. You paused a few feet from me and stared at all of the chocolate chips before grabbing a bag, and then you started singing softly. I recognized the song, and I was surprised you knew it. I took another look at you and immediately felt uncomfortable in my jeans, because you were undeniably attractive and I was practically saluting you. You fit every piece of the list I've thought about wanting in the perfect woman, and I told myself I wanted to know you better."
I listen as he details his trip through the store, following behind me and berating himself the whole time until I ducked into the condom aisle. He blushes here, and I find this adorable as he continues his tale.
"You looked so lost and confused, and even though I wanted to murder the guy who you were going to use them with, I tried to help. You remember how embarrassed we both were and everything about that meeting, right?" I nod, and try to swallow through my dry throat. "Part of the reason I was so awkward is that I was fighting the urge to push you up against a shelf and kiss you until we were both unclothed and tangled in each other on the floor."
I gulp and take a slow breath, trying to calm myself.
Edward leans toward me, and I watch his face carefully. His hand moves to push my hair back out of my face, and I want so badly to latch my own around his wrist and guide it down to the part of me that wants him most right now.
"Every night, it was a pleasurable torture to see you. I really was working late those first three nights, but after that, once I figured out your schedule, I found a way every night to stay after so I could talk to you. Sometimes—" he grimaced "—I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I'd spend some of that time in the back room imagining us together and taking care of the problem I had in hand—literally."
I let a squeak slide through clenched teeth, and he leans back, instantly contrite. "I'm sorry, really, I shouldn't be telling you this. I don't want to make it awkward between—"
"No, it was the same for me, except I took care if it when I got home," I blurt out, grabbing his wrist as he starts to pull away. "Go on."
Edward is surprised—even in the limited light, I can see this and feel it. "You… I… right." He pauses to lick his lips, and his hand falls to rest on my knee, warm and deliciously tingly. I want it higher.
"When you came into the store today, I was surprised and pleased. I honestly didn't mean to spill vegetable oil all over you." We both laugh, and he goes on. "But when I took you in back, I was split between helping you out and just fucking you on the washing machine. You have no idea how sexy you are, and I just wanted to lift you onto the machine, pull down your jeans and panties, and fuck you until someone called the cops on us. I want to feel you clenching around me, I want to hear you screaming my name, I want to smell you and taste you and see you. Fuck, I just…
"I want you, Bella," he whispers, and the tone of his voice, the pure lust and desire, races over my skin, lighting the inferno that makes me sure my hand will not do the trick tonight.
"Take me," I manage to say. "Please."
His lips part in surprise, and then they're on mine, hot and needy and almost too rough, but I don't care, because this is what I want and goddamn it all to fucking hell if it isn't better than I've imagined as his fingers twist into the hair at the base of my neck, pulling me toward him until I'm practically straddling the perfect hardness I can feel even through his jeans. I moan and run my hands over his shoulders to drag them through the curls in the back of his head as our tongues slide against each other, tasting, testing, exploring.
He breaks away, panting, and resumes his attack on my neck, delicious and heady and beautiful. I'm shaking in his arms, pressing myself down on him and trying not to whimper with need. His hands move from my hair to cup my ass, helping me as I move against him, working us both up. Fuck, I want him, so badly. "Edward," I whisper breathlessly, unable to deny myself any longer, "not here. Home. Now."
We break away from each other, gasping, and he hurries to help me up. We make it all of three feet before I'm pressed up against a tree and he's grinding into me as I tremble. I push him away slightly, hazy-minded and filled with lust, but still sane enough to remember we're in public. "Home," I say again, more forcefully, and he groans and takes my hand, tugging me into a jog as we cross the park and the street to a black sleek sexy car that I immediately want to sit on as he makes me come all over him.
My lips feel delightfully bruised and plump as I climb into the passenger seat and watch him slide across the hood to get to his side faster. I'm laughing as he ducks in to kiss me immediately. "Hold on," he whispers against my mouth as his hand finds the gear shift. "I'm a fast driver."
I shiver in anticipation.
I can't feel, I won't be ignored, time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored
***
AN: (6,076 words) Well, that was interesting to write while my mom sat next to me watching Angels and Demons. Leave me some feedback for reference—I'm not sure I like my lemony bits, and any help or critique might help them get better so you readers can live through my characters. I think I fail at the lemony aspect, but I'm trying. Give a girl some credit, eh? And leave me music. Again, a common song, but it came on my iPod as I was starting the chapter, and so there it is. It fits my mood for the last three days. Give me new things to listen to and a citrusy review to help me improve my lemons. Also, link to outfits is on my profile page at the very bottom under all the crap.
–hyacinth