i don't own any of South Park, etcetc.

"...Hey Kenny?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you become the town slut?"

"Because it's more intresting."

"What about going homo?"

"What about it? Dicks are kinda cool too you know."

"Fuck."

"Why?"

"No reason.

I just realized I love someone.

But I can never tell him."

What the fuck is it so bright? Am I still wasted?

SHIT, why am I still at Kenny's? Didn't I leave already?

I better not have done any shit last night, I can't remember a fuckin' THING.

Aw screw it, I'm leaving.

Craig sat up and adjusted his clothes. "KENNY, YOU OWE ME FUCKING SIXTY FIVE BUCKS FOR ALL THE BOOZE!" he yelled to the limp figure on the floor as he left the house.

My head still hurts. What the fuck happened last night?

"Craig! Hey Craig!" A familiar voice echoed in his head.

Oh god, I'm not hallucinating, am I?

"W-what's up? GAH! You w-were at K-kenny's EUGH party r-right?" Tweek said, waving his hand in front of Craig's face.

"Oh, it's you. Fuck off." Craig flipped him off. Ever since Tweek stopped his insane talk about underwear gnomes, he's been pretty fucking cool. Not that Craig would agree. Tweek was too cute to be cool.

Oh god, I did not just think that.

"Aww, d-don't b-be NGH like th-that." Tweek said.

Craig shook himself out of his trance. "Oh yeah? How should I be then?"

Tweek spasmed a little while he thought. "Hm-GAH- mmm.."

"Well you c-could be EGH n-nice and g-gentle like EEP K-kenny last n-night."

"Jesus Tweek, you're making me sound so fuckin' ga- wait, did you just say Kenny?" Craig whipped his head around and stared at the twitching blond. "How the hell would you know?"

Tweek was speechless. "I- GAH – the p-p-pr-pressure – sh-shit..." He was chewing his fingernails now. "N-nothing, AUGH – i-it just slipped o-out."

"Whatever, I don't care anymore." Craig turned around again, his expression, though hidden from Tweek, badly hurt. "You can go and screw other guys and whatever, I don't care if you're a fag."

He stomped away, lighting a smoke as he went even though he was still wasted. He ignored Tweek's yells of "I-it's not wh-what you – NGH – think it is!"

Shit, I can't ever say I like him. Not ever. He'd think I'm insane, I'm joking... And I just basically told him to go and be a slut to whomever.

Shit.

"Kenny, I need your help, get your ass over at the dump before I rip off your skin." Craig said quickly into the phone and hung up. He'd been going over his plan to speak to Tweek, to tell him he loved him, to say he didn't hate him...

When did I fall for him?

His mind started to drift as he waited for Kenny.

He'd fallen for Tweek when Tweek finally got his mind stablized. Just a little. Enough to make him stop spluttering about underwear gnomes or whatever. Then Tweek kinda saved his life. Kinda. That night, when he almost died from that wolf thing attack, Tweek just grabbed him and ran. He treated his wounds, oh god, and then next thing you know, he sees himself wearing Tweek's shirt, and Tweek wearing nothing.

Shit.

"Yo Craiggo." Kenny stood over Craig and nudged him with his foot. "Stop dreaming already and tell me what the fuck you want."

"Oh Ken, you're here." Craig shook his head from his daze. "Okay, I have a request. And it's gonna be fucking retarded and oh god, don't get the wrong idea."

Kenny smirked. "Oh joy, do tell. You're not gonna ask me to do you are you? Or have you finally succumbed to my charm?" He batted his eyes, and his voice was sickly lacey sweet.

Craig flipped him off. "Shut up KENNETH, I told you not to get the wrong idea." He inhaled deeply.

Okay, just say it, don't chicken out like a fucking 'tard.

"Change me into someone completely different. Like, unreconizable different." he blurted, his face completely not liking what was coming out of his mouth.

"Why?" it was more like a demand than a question when it came out of Kenny's mouth.

"Aarrrghhh. I'm not fuckin' telling you."

"No deal then."

"FUCK okay! It's to get to someone I love." Craig's face burned up as a flash of Tweek's face went through his mind.

"Bingo Craig, you've just got the perfect guy." Kenny smile sent the raven haired boy shivers up his spine. He spun around Craig and nodded.

"Alright, I've got it. You're gonna have to pose as a nerd, 'kay?"

"WHAT? Like fuck no, I can't be a nerd, I fail in school as it is!"

"Don't worry about that, I meant your appearance you fag. Oh and we'll need to pull some strings for the school system...."

Craig sighed. What the fuck was he thinking, dragging Kenny into this...?

"Class, today we have a new student. Please welcome Creek!" the teacher droned on and on about how to treat new students and the usual bullshit.

Craig, disguised as 'Creek', was wearing glasses, and instead of his usual blue pom pom hat with the ear covers, he was wearing a yellow-blue cap. Oh, and he had colored contacts.

"Creek, introduce yourself." the teacher was saying.

"Er... hi, I'm Creek, I moved in from uh, California, and uh, I like to um, read."

It nearly killed Craig to say all of that, but he survived.

He heard Cartman in the back snickering and occasionally heard the word "Geek" and "Nerd". It was all he could do to not stick up his middle finger at him.

"Okay well thank you Creek, you may choose a seat."

Craig eyed the empty table next to Tweek, and sat down. It wasn't really class time yet, so everyone was buzzing with chatter.

"Hey n-new kid, Cr-creek, I-I'm Tw-tweek - GUH – Tweak." Tweek introduced himself, with the usual twitching. "H-hey, o-our n-names r-rhyme."

Craig just looked at him. Of course their names rhymed, it was 'Craig' and 'Tweek' put together, the first thing that came to his mind.

"Mmm. Nice t'meet you Tweek." he mumbled, hoping his voice wouldn't give him away.

"You l-look a lot l-like s-someone I kn-know." Tweek said , staring.

Craig's heart skipped a beat.

"His name was – AUGH – Craig, k-kinda like your's too, and h-he was kinda sc-scary." he went on, not noticing anything. "B-but he had p-purply-dark eyes, not like – UGH – you. And y-you're much n-nicer I g-guess." He peered into Craig's eyes, while Craig felt a burning sensation inside him.

Thank Jesus Kenny put in colored contacts. I'd be so dead.

"So uh, what happened to this, uh, Craig dude?" he asked lightly like he didn't care.

"Oh, there was a rumor going on about how he joined a gang or something. But I know him better, I guess he just moved."

Ahhh Tweek, you think you know me better? I could just –

Craig shook his head to clear it. No, he would not think sexual thoughts when the person he was thinking about was almost one inch away from him. No way.

"Hey new kid, what was your name again?" called another familiar voice.

"Dude, his name's Creek." said a second familiar voice.

"Who cares if his name is Creek or Crap or Cocksucker?" Cartman said loudly, snickering.

It was Kyle, his best friend Stan and that fatass. Of course.

"H-hey! D-don't call – URGH – him that!" Tweek yelled, suddenly defensive. "H-he's n-new here y-you know, y-you don't – NGH – have to s-start t-that!"

Craig could've died happy just then.

"Relax Tweekers, we mean no harm. Just sayin' hi to the kid." replied Kyle. "You can beat up Cartman though, we don't care."

"Hey! Aw, fuck yew jew boy, I hate yew anyway." Cartman grunted and turned away.

"Heh, serves you right." Stan snorted. "By the way, this is Kyle, I'm Stan and that asshole is Eric, but we all call him Cartman." He jabbed his finger at the fat figure.

"Er, nice to meet you all, um, yeah." The raven-haired male looked down, and mumbled his entire sentence, not wanting to be exposed. How the fuck was he going live and lie throughout the whole day?

"Y-you look st-stressed, Cr-creek." Tweek remarked as he walk-twitched with Craig out of the school. "I-I know a g-good – GAH – place for stress r-relieving, i-if you want"

Craig just peered at him through his fake glasses.

"Mmmm sure, I'd like that." he mumbled.

I'm going to go with Tweek alone to some place, oh my fucking shit. This is better than I thought.

They arrived at a coffee shop, one so small Craig could've been staring at it and missed it if Tweek didn't lead him inside.

"Th-the usual p-please, and a d-decaf for th-this kid here." Tweek ordered as Craig sat down on a table that seemed like it was going to fall apart.

As the twitchy blond placed the caffiene drinks down, Craig absent-mindly stared at nothing. He was imagining of course, and was completely out of it when...

"C-CREEK, god d-damn I've been w-waving my – EEP – hands in f-front of your face f-for a while n-now." Tweek gave a pouty face. "Are y-you gonna d-drink your d-decaf o-or what?"

"Oh yes um, sure." Craig sniffed the coffee and winced. He never was a fan of coffee, didn't see what was so hot about it.

But if Tweek was asking him... aw hell, it wouldn't kill him.

I TOTALLY DON'T HAVE A CRAIG FETISH.

reviews, favorites, critiques, whatever. please and thank you.

second oneshot that will need another chapter.

woo hoo.