Gah! I typed out all the review replies only to try and save and have my computer log out. So annoying! I'll edit and put them in tomorrow, some of you made me laugh so hard:D

Anyway, I posted two chapters in one night so MAKE SURE YOU READ THE ONE BEFORE THIS! otherwise you will be very confused folks.

I don't own anything about this. love to all. :)

The next day, the contestants were whisked off bright and early to wild and out of the way filming location. They all went through make up and wardrobe, and stressed over whether they were ready for this or not.

But it didn't matter whether they were prepared or not. This was happening.

Lights, camera, action.

Jace was dressed in a royal blue tunic laced with gold threaded leaf designs that came down to mid thigh over white pants. The soft leather boots were good for scaling the castle wall.

Prince Jace was sneaking out of the castle, using the classic rope of bed sheets. This was the start of the adventure.

He wandered the woods for a while, balancing on fallen tree trunks and scaling boulders. He saw a snake, and watched it for a little while.

But then, a scream pierced the still morning air, scaring birds from the trees and sending deer galloping all over the place.

I didn't know those deer were there, Jace thought to himself.

"Let me go!" a girl's voice yelled. "I'll cut your dick off you bastard!"

"A damsel in distress!" Jace exclaimed. He peeked through some bushes and saw a ship anchored at the beach.

A black flag with a grinning skull waved proudly in the wind.

"Pirates," he hissed through his teeth. "How dare they sale in the waters near my kingdom? And to actually come ashore…"

Two thuggish pirates were gripping a pretty young girl in a long green dress that looked more suitable for a ball than for a day at the beach.

"Princess Maia!" Jace whispered aloud. "My betrothed! I must save her!"

Raphael was calmly overseeing the loading of cargo. He was dressed in rich silks that had been tattered to look like they'd weathered life at sea. Gold earrings glistened in his ears, and his feet were bare.

"And why should I let you go when you threaten me in such a way?" the young pirate asked her, rolling his eyes. "We mean you no harm Senorita. I am merely kidnapping you so I can hold you for ransom because your country will pay a handsome amount in exchange for their beloved princess. You can think of it as a simple business transaction, if you like."

"My people don't deal with pirates," she spat. "You'll get nothing!"

"A pity for you then," he said dispassionately, as if he didn't believe her for a second. "Bring her aboard."

Jace knew it was time, and stepped from the forest onto the sand of the beach. "Wait!" he said. "Let her go!"

All heads turned in his direction. Raphael's eyes brightened with interest. "Prince Jace," he nodded to him. "Buenas dias. I must say, I am surprised that you are permitted to travel alone and unprotected. It is very unwise for you to do so."

"Ah, so you know me. I know you as well pirate. You are known around the world for your terrorizing of merchant ships, your skill with a sword, and your ridiculously small stature. You are the dread pirate Raphael!"

Raphael's eyes narrowed. He didn't know why people found it so endlessly amusing to point out that he was short. He decided to let it drop for now.

"And why should I let the girl go? What can you offer in return?" he asked. "There is very little that is equal to the worth of a princess, and I doubt you have such an object on hand."

Jace took a deep breath. "I could disappear into the forest in an instant if you refuse. I know these woods much better than you." He took a step back into the shade of the trees to prove his point.

"Si," Raphael nodded, conceding the truth of this.

"So," Jace continued. "A prince for a princess, take me instead."

Raphael laughed. "I should have known. Your reputation for foolishness and bravery precedes you." He turned to grin at the crew. "What do you say men? The pretty blonde prince is eager to be our captive."

They laughed and leered at Jace.

"I'll bet he is," one of the bearded men sneered. "That's one sweet little a- I mean, the lad be as fair as a maid! Argh!"

Jace broke character for a moment to flash the man a 'WTF' look. Geez, where did Tyra get these extras, the state penitentiary?

Then he remembered that yes, yes she did.

Perhaps that was why they seemed to readily accept Raphael as their leader.

"That's enough of that for now Pangborn," Raphael said. "We don't want to scare him too much."

"Jace!" Maia yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

He blinked. "Uh, saving you Princess."

"I didn't ask you to save me you dumbass! And this isn't going to make me feel any better about marrying you!"

"Well that's pretty ungrateful of you Maia!" Jace shouted back. "I don't think you're really appreciating the situation here! When they say I remind them of a girl, they don't mean they're going to treat me like a lady! Do I have to spell it out for you?!"

"I can handle this myself!- Mmph!"

Raphael clapped a hand over Maia's mouth. He was getting pretty tired of listening to her.

"I accept the trade," he proclaimed. "Step forward."

"Let her go first," Jace said.

Raphael shook his head. "You will do anything to save your precious princess. It is you I think, who will yield first."

"Oh, come on. Just let her go, she can't run in that dress."

Raphael considered. "Hm, fair point. But I'll release her only if you swear to come willingly."

Jace's eyes widened. "But if I swear, I'll be bound by my oath!"

Raphael stared back at him. "That is sort of the point." Moron.

"Okay, okay, I swear."

"Alright then. Senorita, you are free."

Maia slapped him gratuitously before jogging off in the ridiculously poufy blue dress.

"HEY!" Jace yelled after her. "I don't even get a kiss for this selfless princely deed?!"

"I HATE YOU!" she yelled back.

Jace was about to announce that their engagement was definitely off when he was knocked off his feet and two pirates starting dragging him by each ankle.

"Ow," he groaned. "You don't think this is overkill Raphael? I'm coming willingly! What was the point of swearing?!"

"Secure him to the mainmast," Raphael decreed, ignoring Jace's protests. "Chicas bring bad winds to sea voyages, but princes are lucky."

"Argh!" the pirates cheered.

Jace glared at the pirates dragging him. "You two smell of bad winds, I just feel compelled to tell you."

Minutes later, he was tied to the mast. He supposed that being the main character; he had to go through a lot of crap. But he also figured it could have been worse.

"Rum all around amigos!" Raphael proclaimed, to great cheers.

"Hey Raphael!" Jace called out.

"Si." Raphael turned.

"I've heard stories about your skill with a sword, are they true, or is it all tall tales?"

Raphael thumped his thin chest. "You heard correctly. I am the best."

"I think you're wrong. I think that I'm the best."

Raphael shrugged. "Well, if you're the best, maybe I should just kill you and then I'll be the best again."

Jace blinked. That was not the response that had he had been expecting. "Why don't you untie me so we can match blades? Surely you're not afraid?"

Raphael rolled his eyes. He would never fall for something this dumb, but sadly the plot demanded it.

"I am not afraid chico. Cut him loose and give him a sword." he commanded.

Jace was freed and given a sword. He was really excited about playing action hero.

Raphael was tossed a sword as well, and when Jace curled his fingers in a 'bring it' motion, he attacked.

They jabbed and parried in an intricate on the spot choreography that brought them up in the rigging, all around the deck, down below, and back again, as the pirates/temporarily released criminals looked on in amazement.

Raphael was not one for pointless physical exertion, but he was doing his best with this. He and Jace struck swords so forcefully, that Raphael's sword broke in half.

Jace blinked at it with a 'that wasn't supposed to happen' look on his face.

"My sword triumphs!" he exclaimed when he recovered. He shoved Raphael down to the deck and pressed the tip of the blade against his throat. "Because of your ego, you have been defeated pirate! You had me in your clutches, but that wasn't enough for you was it? No, your pride would not allow another to claim they were the best…"

Raphael drummed his fingers as Jace ranted on. It was very annoying, getting this speech from someone with an ego that rivaled all others in history. Raphael knew that they had planned for Jace to win…but this situation called for a bit of improvising.

"Oh Senor," he groaned in the infamous girly voice. "You are so sexy when you're forceful."

Jace paused. "…eh?"

Raphael recognized that his focus had wavered, so he took the chance to kick Jace's legs out from under him and snatch the sword. He leapt to his feet.

"You fool. Forget ransom, I am richer than the king. For that attempt on my life you will walk the plank. Actually, you have already taken up too much of my time. Adios."

He flung Jace overboard into the sea.

There, that was another way for him to 'escape.'

Raphael brushed himself off and turned to the crew. "Lo siento amigos, we'll find another one. He was too annoying."

They were staring at him.

"Uh, Captain…" one pirate with an eye patch spoke up. "You sound real cute when you do that voice…"

Raphael flung him overboard as well. He glared around at the remaining crew. "Does anyone else here share the opinion of Mr. Blackburn?"

They shook their heads rapidly.

"That is what I thought. Then point us starboard, we sale into the sunrise!"

"Argh!"

Raphael tapped a finger against his lower lip. "On second thought, let's go back and get that princess again. She can't have gotten far."

Jace had been thrown overboard so suddenly he almost inhaled water. They were in actuality only two hundred meters off shore, so it took him only a few minutes to swim to the beach. He collapsed there dramatically, pretending to pass out.

Now it was Clary's turn in the spotlight. She was a mermaid, and had a purple tail and a green bra-top. She had insisted on padding and was pretty pleased with the results.

She was now going to commence with observing Jace creepily while he was 'passed out'.

He looked so handsome. She was sure she'd look like drowned rat if she was tossed up from the ocean like that, but he just looked so…wet.

She ran a hand through his damp hair. Damn it, she'd forgotten what she was supposed to sing! She went with the first thing that she thought of.

"I've got my sight set on you, and I'm ready to aim,

I have a heart that will- never be tamed.

I knew you were something special, when you spoke my name.

Now I can't wait to see you again.

I've got a way of knowing, when something is right.

I feel like I must have known you, in another life.

Cuz I felt this deep connection, when you looked in my eyes. Now I can't wait, to see you again.

The last time I freaked out, I just keep looking down, I st-st-stutter when you ask me what I'm thinkin 'bout. Felt like I couldn't breathe, you asked what's wrong with me, my best friend Simon said oh 'she's just bein Clary-"

His eyes fluttered open. "A mermaid," he breathed. "Fair maiden, you have brought me back from the brink with your ethereally beautiful song. What is your name?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Clariel," she responded, sniggering on the inside. "But you can call me Clary."

"You saved my life," he declared. "Forget Maia. Clary, will you marry me? We can be king and queen someday, and rule the kingdom of Wincest together."

"Sure," she said, and leaned in to kiss him. He tasted like salt.

"I've never seen someone as beautiful as you," he said, completely enraptured. They started kissing passionately.

Then Clary heard someone calling Jace's name. She tried to distract him by nipping at his neck, hoping he hadn't heard.

"Ungh," he grunted. "That feels nice Clary…someone's calling." He sat up.

Alec had frozen as he came upon the scene. He hadn't known they would be making out when he 'found' them.

"Hey Alec!" Jace shouted to him.

"Hey," Alec waved tentatively at him. When Clary seemed to be keeping a suitable distance, he hurried over. He was dressed as a knight, without the helmet.

"Jace," he started. "Do you know that I've been looking everywhere for you?! You can't just wander off any time you feel like it! I need to be there to protect you! You could get hurt, or kidnapped!" Oh yes, it was definitely very easy to fall into this role.

"Oh, I already was," Jace waved a hand dismissively. "By pirates, but they threw me overboard."

Alec blinked. "Threw you-?"

"Alec, this is Clary, we're getting married."

"You're…you're what? You can't marry a mermaid Jace. It just doesn't work like that, she lives in the ocean."

"Hey," Clary interrupted. "He asked me, not you. I say yes."

Jace hung his head. "He is right that it would be difficult for us to be together Clary." He perked up. "We'll just have to turn you into a human! With my teachings, you'll be the greatest human ever!"

Alec face palmed. This dialogue was just…scintillating.

"I'll have to carry you," Jace continued. "Will you be alright out of water for a few hours?"

"Yes," Clary responded. "But where are we going?"

"To see Alec's sister, the fairy of the wood. We'll ask her to turn you human."

Isabelle was dressed in a shimmery pink dress that was reminiscent of an upside down blooming flower. She had two sparkling wings, and was barefoot. She loved the getup.

But even more than that, she loved the house she got to stay in. It was a wooden cabin type place, but the flowered vines growing up it made it look very wild and pretty. Countless varieties of wildflowers surrounded the place. She would love to live in a place like this, for about one day until she got bored of it.

The trio was approaching. A very wet Jace was carrying a mermaid Clary, while Alec tagged along. He looked as if he wished he were somewhere else.

"Hi Alec," she smiled.

"Hi Izzy," he said back.

"Hello fairy," Jace called out. "We're here to ask you to turn Clary into a human."

She made a face. "Why would you want to be human?" she addressed Clary. "You're fine the way you are."

"I want to be with Jace," Clary tightened her hold around him. "We can't be together this way."

"He's just telling you that," Isabelle waved a hand. "A good boyfriend should want to make things work without wanting to change you-

"I'm tired of eating snails and kelp!" Clary interrupted. "I want to be a person!"

Isabelle sighed. "Whatever, I don't have the power to do that anyway. You have to see the wizard for that. His name is Magnus Bane, and maybe he'll give you what you want."

Alec felt a little thrill run through him at Magnus' name. "Where can we find him?" he asked Isabelle.

She gave them a list of instructions, and they set off to see the wizard.

Magnus got to wait in a gorgeous stone house. It was decorated with rich and vibrant colors, just how he would do it up. He especially loved the huge stone fireplace. He could imagine starting a crackling fire on a cold winter's night, and curling up next to Alec on the couch. Or perhaps they could just share one of those big armchairs, warm and close under a blanket…

The knock on the door startled him out of his musings. It was Alec's knock, he could tell. Alec knocked every single time before entering their room, ever since one of the first days in New York when he had walked in on Magnus in the process of changing his shirt. 'I'm so sorry!' he had stuttered, before ducking out.

What a wonderful, adorable boy he was.

"Who beckons?" Magnus called out.

"Open in the name of the king!" Jace hollered.

Magnus sighed and collapsed back in one of the cushy chairs. Evidently this was going to be a long process.

"You're going to have to do better than that hon," he called back.

It was Clary's voice this time. "We need you to do something for us!" she exclaimed.

Magnus examined his nails. "Oh, poor you. What about my needs? What about my peace and quiet?"

"Please, um…Sir, we're sorry for bothering you. We'd really appreciate it if we could talk to you for a minute. It's something only you can help us with."

Oh dear lord, Alec had just called him 'Sir'. It was so very weird and it made Magnus want to burst out laughing. It would have been nice to hear a bit more flattery, but he couldn't hear that again without cracking up. He got to his feet.

"Alright alright don't get your skivvies in a twist, I'm coming." He unlatched the rounded wooden door and swung it inwards.

"Come in," he said, without even sparing a second glance for the visitors. He snapped his fingers and signaled that they follow him into the sitting room.

Alec's mouth had dropped open when he saw Magnus. It was the first look he was getting at what he was wearing. Black boots were laced all the way up his slim calves, over tight black pants. He was wearing a belted black and silver threaded tunic, and silver moon and stars patterns were delicately threaded into a sweeping midnight cloak. Several thin silver bracelets glistened on both of his wrists

Jace put Clary in one of the armchairs, and turned to Magnus. "It's about Clary-

"Ahem," Magnus interrupted. "And who is Clary? Are you going to introduce yourselves?"

"I'm Prince Jace, this is Clary, and this is my First Knight, Alec."

Magnus eyed Alec in his light armor, he looked quite fetching. The sight made him want to peel off every piece of metal to get at the goods.

"A pleasure," Magnus dipped his head to them. "I, of course, am Magnus Bane. Now you may state your request."

"It's Clary," Jace said again. "As you can see, she's a mermaid, and we want to turn her into a person."

Magnus waved him silent. "This seems like something I should hear from her. Clarissa?"

She shifted in the chair, as best she could with a tail. "I met Jace today, and I want to marry him. I want to be a person so we can be together. I'm asking you to turn me human."

Magnus studied the rings on his fingers. "I'm not going to do that Clarissa dear."

"Why?" Clary demanded. "We came all this way-

"That's not my fault," Magnus interrupted. "That was your choice. And the reason I'm not going to change you is that you were fine with being a mermaid until you met this boy, and you've got a crush and want to give up what you are. That's not a good enough reason."

"I want this for me!" Clary exclaimed. "It's not some kind of infatuation-

Magnus stood. "I've said my piece about this Clarissa. Thank you for stopping by," he gestured to the door.

Alec took a deep breath. This was the part when he was supposed to give a speech, and he was pretty nervous about it. Especially since he'd just forgotten everything that he'd planned to say.

"Wait," he said, before anyone could get up. Magnus' gaze settled on him, soft, rather than intimidating. Alec relaxed a bit.

"Please Magnus," Alec said. "I don't know Clary that well, but I know Jace. And I can see by the way that he looks at her that he loves her." He smiled at his friend. "…If Clary feels the same," he glanced at her and saw her nodding. "-Then that's the reason she wants to change. It would make her happy to be with him, and she's not losing anything of herself by doing that. Sometimes you just know that you've found the person that was meant for you." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I just want them to be happy."

Magnus tried to blink himself back into the current situation.

"Well," his voice was rough. "How can I refuse? I'm such a sucker for true love. And pretty dark haired knights. So Clary, you're very sure about this? It would be a permanent change."

"I'm sure," Clary said.

"Alright then," Magnus rubbed his hands together before cracking his knuckles. "There's going to be one less fish-girl in the world in just a moment from now."

He closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate.

"Angels and demons, starfish and China, give this mermaid legs… and a vagina!"

He threw down some powder, and a cloud of purple smoke hid Clary from view for a few moments. When it cleared she was standing there in a long purple dress. She smiled at Jace.

"Clary!" he embraced her. "Did you hear that? Now you have a va…eeerrry nice set of legs!" Save.

"I know," she said, and stood on her tiptoes to reach his lips with hers.

They kissed for a long moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and he lifted her up.

When they finally broke away and he set her down again, she frowned. "My legs are kind of short," she pointed out to Magnus. "Can't you make me taller-

"So touching!" Magnus interrupted. "But I've had enough of you now, so go canoodle elsewhere dears. Au revoir."

He guided them to the door.

"Goodbye Alec," he winked. "Please do call me Magnus, next time that you stop by."

Alec made an embarrassed sound, but smiled. "I will. Goodbye Magnus."

In a dark cave, Maia struggled in her bonds, and cursed Sebastian and Raphael over and over again. "Out of the frying pan and into the fire," she mumbled. "How do I get out of this now?"

"There there Princess," Sebastian soothed as he stepped into the light of the fire. "You might not have to die, if Prince Jace sees reason."

The flickering flames sent eerie shadows dancing across his pale face, and lit his odd black eyes with glow that promised nothing good. He was dressed in a blood red robe, and his arms were etched with twisting black designs. Raphael came in behind him, glancing around the cave to look for shiny things. He grabbed a gold compass that looked valuable off the long table and pocketed it.

Maia glared at them both. "You'll regret it if you don't let me go."

"Here come the threats," Raphael commented. "They are cringe worthy."

Sebastian smiled, as if amused. "I wouldn't be making threats, were I in your position princess. If you're insinuating that your prince will save you, that's exactly what I'm counting on."

"He'll never fall for this. He'll send an army or something, a group of soldiers. He won't come by himself."

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

Jace marveled at Sebastian's rope tying abilities. There was no way he was wriggling out of this. "Where do you learn this stuff?" he asked.

"Boy scouts," Sebastian said.

"Okay we're ready to go," Hodge said as he pointed the camera in their direction. He counted off to three on his fingers, and they started.

Jace shifted and groaned like he was coming around. "Where am I?" he blinked.

"In my clutches," Sebastian said. "You were thoroughly owned."

"What do you want with me?" Jace growled.

Sebastian grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked his head back. "Isn't it obvious?"

Jace blinked. "You don't mean…?"

Sebastian looked disgusted and released him. "No you idiot. I want your kingdom. We want your kingdom," he nodded to Raphael, who was showing little interest in the proceedings and was lounging on a pile of treasure and taking a quick nap.

"Wincest will never be yours, you evil bastard," Jace said. "You can kill me, but it will get you nothing. There are many in line after me. Clary will be queen."

"Yes she will," Sebastian purred. "She will be my queen. That kingdom is rightfully mine."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jace," he paused. "I am your father."

"WHAAAAAAT??? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Sebastian covered his ears at the obnoxious outburst. "Geez, I was just kidding. I'm your brother."

"WHAAAAAT??? NOO-

He was cut off by a smack in the face. "Shut. Up." Sebastian told him. "Seriously."

"Which one of us is going to lose a hand?" Jace asked. "Because I think after revelations like this somebody has to lose a hand in an ensuing struggle."

Sebastian ignored him. He pushed a strand of white hair out of his face. "As the older brother, I should be king. But our parents chose you, with your left handedness and your pretty manners and your oh so delicate feelings. They abandoned me because of my demonic powers."

"-and you were raised by wolves?"

"And I was raised by DEMONS!" Sebastian talked over him. "I want you to send a message by hologram to Clary, and tell her to dismiss the army and that you've handed over the kingdom to me. You are going to give me my kingdom little brother. Because if you don't? I will sacrifice you and Maia. With the blood of a boy and girl of royal birth, I can summon a demon army that numbers more than a thousand. And I will decimate your knights and the royal family." He threw his head back and laughed. It was an eerie sound that sent chills down Jace and Maia's spines. Raphael yawned.

When Sebastian finally stopped laughing, he stepped over to the pentagram carved into the cave floor. "As a demonstration of my powers, I will summon a demon now."

"Don't do this!" Maia shouted. "It's wrong! It's evil!" She was working on the ropes that were keeping her wrists bound to the stalagmite. She was almost free.

Sebastian rolled up his sleeves, and grinned. "And it's just my style. Prepare to be amazed."

He chanted in Latin, and threw down some powder. Red smoke went up around the pentagram and almost filled the cave.

When it cleared, a skinny demon boy knelt in the circle. He had aqua skin etched with rune designs, and yellow catlike eyes. His hair was a slightly darker shade than his skin. He had an Egyptian style shendjyt wrapped around his waist, and nothing else.

Simon blinked rapidly and sneezed. These contacts were much more uncomfortable than the Edward Cullen ones, and the smoke had irritated his eyes even more. Plus he had to wear something that amounted to a glorified skirt/loincloth. One problem had nothing to do with the other but he was not exactly a happy camper overall.

When he could finally see well enough, he looked around at Jace, Maia, Raphael and Sebastian, who were all staring at him. He stood and rubbed the cuff bracelets on his wrists. "I feel judged," he said self consciously.

"It's kind of cute." Jace decided.

"He's not an 'it'," Maia scolded him. "He's a boy."

"It doesn't look dangerous." Jace said.

"Oh I'm not dangerous," Simon said quickly. "All the other demons make fun of me because I don't have long claws or sharp teeth or leathery wings. I'm not very fearsome at all actually, I have no powers. I basically haunt Egyptian pyramids, minding my own business-

"SILENCE!" Sebastian cut him off. "Listen to me demon! I summoned you. I am your master now."

"Oh, great." Simon sighed, and looked down at his blue feet.

Sebastian frowned at this pathetic excuse for a demon. "Do you have any skills?" he asked, in a tone that suggested he doubted it.

Simon considered. "I can speak Vulcan, Elvish and Na'vi. Oh, and Twi'leki, but I only know a few words of that, like how to say 'tarnished silver.' That's 'nawara'ven', if you were interested. For some reason Twi'leks have a Middle Eastern accent. I can't explain why though."

"You will do as I command," Sebastian grabbed his wrist and yanked him out of the pentagram. "If I told you to kill those two, you would do it, wouldn't you?"

Simon eyed the two tied up teens with wide eyes. "I would have to do it. But I don't want to kill anyone. Can't we resolve this peacefully?"

Sebastian dug his nails into his own palm. "Why don't you tell my friends here about what other demons are like?"

Simon shuddered. "They're terrible, most of them. They tear the limbs off people for fun. They're very hard to kill."

Sebastian finally smiled and turned to Jace. "See? Straight from the lips of one of their own. Just surrender to me now little brother. We can avoid this bloodshed; it's really very generous of me to offer. I'll even let you leave with your life. All you have to do is send that message."

Maia was free by this time, but there had to be a distraction for her to leave convincingly. Raphael was sleeping peacefully, perhaps even actually sleeping, but Sebastian was alert. She signaled to Simon with her eyes, mouthing, 'I'm loose'. Simon raised his eyebrows and nodded back, signaling that he understood.

Sebastian tried not to roll his eyes. Their attempt at subtle communication was so obvious, that he never would have missed it. But he had to pretend to. He wondered how Simon would 'distract' him.

"Hey Master?" Simon said. "I can do other things."

"Like-?" Sebastian didn't even spare a glance for him. He wasn't going to make it this easy.

"I can juggle," Simon said. "See?" he picked up a couple rocks and started juggling them.

Sebastian ignored him.

"I know riddles. Have you heard the Sphinx one?"

"You're a completely useless demon. I'll probably just kill you."

Simon wracked his brain for a suitable talent. "I can sing a little-

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sebastian decided to give him a hand, so he grabbed Simon and kissed him.

Simon's body tensed and he made a surprised sound against Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian took advantage of the gasp to thrust his tongue in Simon's mouth. Ah yes, now this was pleasantly distracting.

Simon just closed his eyes and tried not to think too much about what was happening here.

Maia was shocked for a moment, so shocked that she just watched for a moment before finally remembering she was supposed to scurry off.

"Blech," Jace said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. It was almost too much to take in. He didn't really want to take it in anyway.

"Mm," Sebastian smirked. "Perhaps I won't kill you after all. What do you think-"

As he turned to ask the opinion of his captives, the smile vanished in an instant. He stared for a moment at the ropes that had held Maia.

He turned back again in an impossibly fast movement. "You." his eyes flicked back to Simon.

That one quiet word held so much venom that Simon actually shivered for real. Sebastian was a scary good actor. Simon had to keep telling himself that this was all for Tyra. Acting, acting, acting.

He was still thinking this when Sebastian knocked his legs out from under him and grabbed his hair, jerking his face up.

"You were trying to distract me so that she could escape." Somehow rage simmered in his seemingly calm delivery. The calm didn't last long, and he flung Simon back into the pentagram. "You little tick! You've ruined EVERYTHING!" He knocked over the table covered with books and glass viles, and the crash echoed in the cave.

Simon's heart was pounding from nervousness. Sebastian snatched a whip from mess and stood.

"Sebastian stop!" Jace said sharply. The dark eyed boy was so convincing that Jace wasn't quite sure he actually was in control. And cameraman Hodge was quaking in his boots, looking as if he had no intention of doing anything about it. Jace really wished he wasn't tied up.

Sebastian's eyes slid to Jace. "If you don't send the message, I'll kill the boy." His eyes were wild as he gestured to the kneeling Simon. "I'll make it slow and painful, and I'll make you watch and listen to him screaming. I'm done playing cute games with you."

Simon cowered in his pentagram space. He was supposed to be trapped there, but his instincts urged him to run off. "Cut please!" he signaled to Hodge. "I feel uncomfortable being shoved around like this."

Sebastian threw the whip on the ground. "Are you kidding me?! It's not like I'm really going to whip you you idiot! What do you want me to do when you've ruined all my plans- give you flowers?! You're ruining my fucking scene! Did you ever think for a second, 'Oh la-dee-da, hey it's fucking distracting when I interrupt someone in the middle of their scene'?! Do you understand that my mind is not in the fucking scene if you do that? The fuck is it with you? Give me answer, what don't you get about it?!"

Simon put his hands up. "Okay, okay, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry."

"For fuck's sake! Alright, let's go again."

"Let's take a minute," Jace suggested.

"Let's not take a fucking minute! Let's go aga-

"Sebastian, take a minute." Raphael said calmly.

Sebastian took a deep breath and quieted. "You're right, we'll take a minute."

Raphael's pirates were posted outside the cave. They were supposed to be guarding, but they were drinking rum and talking about how great it was to be out of jail for a day and hang out with mostly underage teens. Tyra was a great person in their eyes.

Alec, Isabelle, and Clary watched from the nearby forest. Ragnor was trying to be inconspicuous as he filmed.

"This is bad," Alec muttered. "I thought he'd just wandered off again, but he's really in trouble. Clary should go back for help."

"I want to help here!" Clary protested. "I want to help save Jace!"

"What would the point of that be?" Alec snapped. "You don't know anything about fighting, you can barely walk on your legs yet and you'll just get in the way." Oh, how he enjoyed being able to yell at Clary.

"Both of you need to be quieter," Isabelle hissed. "God Alec, stop freaking out. There are only a dozen of them. That's not even a fair fight." She grinned. "The poor pirates."

"She needs to go back for reinforcements." Alec wouldn't give it up. "If we don't make it, there'll be no one to save him."

Clary crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, I'll go. Happy?"

She waited for them to address her, but they didn't so she just walked away in a huff.

"Alright then," Izzy whispered. "I'll take down that big one first. Ready?"

"Ready," Alec nodded.

Izzy stood up. "Hello gentlemen! I seem to have lost one of my favorite sparkling dewdrop earrings," she brushed her bare earlobe. "Do you think one of you could give me a hand looking for it? How about you big boy?" she simpered.

They stared.

The gigantic man puffed out his massive chest. "Sure I'll help you look for it."

He followed her into the woods, and when they were out of sight of the others, she knocked him over the head with a log, not particularly gently.

He blinked.

"You're knocked out," she told him.

He collapsed obediently.

She went back to shout for the others. "Damn it, we can't find it. Can everybody pitch in?"

They eagerly ambled over to assist, and when they reached the woods Alec dropped from a tree and took two of them down while Isabelle knocked two thug's heads together

The remaining seven did their best, but Isabelle and Alec were merciless with their kicks and punches, and soon stood victorious.

One of the prone pirates reached up and at least got a good grab at Alec's ass. Alec yelped and leapt forward, before spinning around to face his molester.

"I killed you," he snapped.

"I wasn't dead yet," Blackburn rationalized. He closed his eyes. "Now I'm dead."

Isabelle kicked him between the legs. "That's good, because otherwise that would have really hurt." She tilted her shoulders to check her wings for damage. "Alright Alec, let's go save the damsel."

Sebastian slammed his fist into the cave wall. "This is all useless! I'm just going to have to kill you," he looked at Jace. "At least I can enjoy that small consolation prize." He stepped up to Jace and pressed the point of a sword against his throat. "Any last words?"

"You don't want to do this," Jace said. "He's watching."

"Who- Raphael?" Sebastian scoffed. "Like he cares."

"No." Jace said solemnly. "The raven is watching. And even though it's never talked before, I know it can now conveniently describe events in some way and it will tell the story of your cowardice."

Sebastian blinked, thrown off for a moment. "I'm starting to think this is a mercy kill. Farewell little brother-

"STOP!" Alec yelled, bow drawn and arrow aimed at Sebastian. "If you hurt him I'll kill you."

Sebastian turned to face his new guests. A smile slowly spread across his face. "You won't kill me." He said.

"He damn well will," Isabelle said. "And I would gladly kill you as well. Step back." She lifted a hand and bared her palm. "Fairy magic may not be the most deadly, but I doubt you'll enjoy walking with your legs on backwards."

Sebastian's smile was still in place. "Points for bravery. A shame that only means you're both very foolish." He threw down some more of the powder and in an instant the cave was filled with red smoke. It was suddenly impossible to see a thing.

Amidst the shouts of confusion, Raphael and Sebastian made their escape. Sebastian sealed off the cave with a rock slide, an excellent effect that was his idea.

"Won't they be able to get out of that?" Raphael eyed the smaller rocks blocking the entrance.

"They won't even make it this far," Sebastian asserted. "That smoke is laced with demon poison. They'll be dead within minutes."

Simon could hardly see through the colored fog, but he made out Isabelle collapsed on the floor.

He hurried over to her and picked her up. "I'll get you out," he assured her.

"Demon poison…" she said weakly. "…Especially deadly…to… fairies."

"Hold on," he said. He hurried to the front of the cave and pushed at some of the smaller rocks. They fell so that there was a space big enough for them to fit.

He was going to save the girl.

When they were free of the cave, Isabelle started coming around. "Alec," she said immediately. "-And Jace, they're still inside!" she began coughing.

"I'll go back for them," Simon said. "Rest here, it's going to be fine."

He rushed back to the cave.

Isabelle curled into herself. "Thank you for lying," she whispered quietly, closing her eyes and curling her hand into the grass.

Ragnor was filming outside the cave to catch this dramatic performance, while Hodge bonked around in the confusion in the cave, attempting to capture anything.

Alec was tugging at the knots that were keeping Jace bound. "Damn it! If only I had my knife…"

"Leave me Alec," Jace said, starting to cough. "Get yourself out."

"I would never leave you here," Alec said fiercely.

Jace didn't answer, he had gone limp in the bonds. Alec felt around for something that would cut, and began slashing at the rope with a sharp rock. He dragged Jace to the front of the cave, his steps faltering.

Simon hurried up to them. "You're still alive," he said, as if he were surprised.

"Take him," Alec coughed, and he collapsed to his knees.

Simon paused in uncertainty, knowing he couldn't take both. It was seriously upsetting.

"GO!" Alec snarled at him.

Simon dragged Jace under the arms and got him out.

Isabelle was in a sitting position when Simon got back with Jace. "Jace," she breathed out. "Thank god."

He groaned as he came around yet again. His eyes snapped to Isabelle. "Where's Alec?" he said.

"He's still in there," Isabelle said, biting at her lip.

Jace's face went blank.

They waited together for Simon to get back.

A few minutes later, Simon came out carrying Alec. He placed him gently on the grass and shook his head at Isabelle and Jace.

"I'm sorry." He looked at the ground.

"No," Isabelle started sobbing and got to her feet to fall beside her brother. She put her hand on his chest, just so she could feel his heartbeat to remind herself that he was really okay. She was getting so into this that she was actually starting to cry, just because it would be so sad if anything happened to Alec. She wouldn't be able to bear it.

Jace was quiet. He knew that he had never been in any danger, but what just happened really made him think. Alec really would give his life for him, if it ever came to that. He didn't even doubt it.

Had he ever really appreciated that fully?

Simon collapsed out of real exhaustion. He had just dragged three people from a cave. Who would have thought he had that kind of strength? He didn't know how he did it.

Alec was feeling completely embarrassed by this attention. He wanted to hug Isabelle and say that everything was okay. Either she was an incredible actress, or she was actually upset.

There was a silence, until it was broken by the sound of a raspy approaching voice.

"Is anyone hurt?"

Isabelle, Jace, and Simon turned to see Clary and Magnus coming out of the woods.

"I told you I'd bring help," Clary said proudly.

Magnus immediately rushed to Alec's side, and knelt down next to him. "What happened?" he demanded.

"Demon poison," Jace said quickly. "He inhaled it."

Magnus put his hands on Alec's chest. He began whispering in some unknown language.

Alec thought he recognized it actually. Was that…Hopelandish?

Magnus' hands were tracing over his ribs and stroking his sides. Alec used every shred of willpower he possessed to be still. It was tickling him. The only sign he gave was a few deeper breaths.

"He's breathing!" Isabelle exclaimed, she was grinning and wiping tears from her face. She threw her arms around Jace and they hugged each other in a temporary truce. They were both very moved.

"He's alright," Magnus said. He took a deep breath himself and leaned down to Alec's face.

"Wake up baby," he whispered, and placed a gentle kiss on Alec's lips.

Alec's eyes flew open. He hadn't expected Magnus to kiss him…this was the kind of thing that should have mortified him in public.

But it didn't.

He closed his eyes again, and wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck to kiss him back.

A great cheer went up as everyone yelled and cried and laughed from sheer happiness.

"Thank god for you Clary," Jace said and swept her off her feet and into a kiss.

Isabelle smiled so brightly she practically gave off light. She turned to Simon.

"You saved me."

"Oh, it was nothing." Simon was still collapsed, staring up at the sky in contentment.

Isabelle pounced on him and kissed him wildly. "You're my hero," she said sincerely. She covered his face in kisses.

Simon was completely shocked. Ah, but she was probably-

"And I'm not acting," she smiled and kissed his nose. He blushed bright red and suddenly felt like he had the power of a billion midi-chlorians rushing through his blood. He jumped to his feet and pulled her up with him, scooping her up with one hand under her legs and the other on her back. She laughed in delight and kissed him again, tangling her fingers in his hair.

Ragnor started crying because this whole thing was so damn beautiful.

He clicked off the camera and sighed.

What a happy ending.

I really hope you guys enjoyed. Have a great day or evening. :)