Author's note: Ok, so, this takes place while Light is still part of the investigation team but before he was put into a cell and handcuffed to L. Also, this is supposed to be a CRACK story, so please, don't take this seriously. I also feel the need to express that there will be mentions of gang rape, and psychological scaring.

The usual disclaimer applies; after all, if I did own Death Note, L would still be alive and Light would so be L's bitch. I also do not own the Snuggie Corporation.

If it's in italics it either means that it's the group mind speaking or the group mind thinking. Don't worry if you don't understand this now, you will soon enough.

Snuggie Time!

It all began one evening when L so generously allowed Light to watch TV while they took a break. L was only half listening when the commercial came on for this weird looking thing that looked (to L) like a monk's robe turned around. L was instantly captured by the commercial. Most people don't know that L gets extremely cold whilst working but his pride keeps him from grabbing a jacket and his IQ keeps him from turning on the heater (he once went into a long rant about how when it's freezing, he's less likely to fall asleep to Light). He was enthralled with this new "Snuggie" and how he could still use his laptop with it on and it would solve his problem of being cold.

That night, after everyone had gone home, L made a few calls sure to surprise everyone the next day.

THE NEXT DAY

Light had unintentionally decided to sleep in that morning and as a result, was late in getting to the Task Force Headquarters. As he walked in, he was forced to stop and stare, which is something the Great Light Yagami did not do often.

It was the robes, the stupid robes, the…snuggies. Light was astonished to find not only Matsuda (whom he figured was the one to purchase all of these…these…things) but the entire Task Force, including Watari were wearing the stupid things, each one wearing a different color and print.

As Light stood there staring, L was the first to speak. "Is something wrong, Light-kun?" he said with an innocent look on his face.

"Why are all of you wearing those fashion disasters?" Light asked.

L simply stared for a moment before stating, "I like them Light-kun, they keep my toes warm."

"…keep my toes warm."

Light jumped as everyone wearing a snuggie stated L's words at the exact same time as L. He shivered as he realized that they probably had done it the first time but he was too shocked to see them all in the snuggies to notice at the time. He decided this was exceedingly creepy, hearing L's words in stereo. He then noticed that everyone was looking at him with the same stare that L was giving him, waiting for his answer.

Light decided it was best to just ignore them all and begin working on the Kira case, which wasn't going anywhere, but it made him feel better to be productive. He heard a scraping noise and the sound of feet shuffling and turned to see what was going on.

What he saw was one of the many shocks he would receive that day. All of the Task Force, including Watari, were at the sweets cart ingesting sweets at an alarming rate. All were scarfing down everything that could possibly be consumed on the cart, and Matsuda was actually chewing on the cart leg (nobody said he was smart….). As one, they all turned toward him and said, "Light-kun."

Light was totally freaking now. He bolted from his chair and ran for the door, unfortunately, he had to pass by Aizawa and Mogi to get to the door and they promptly tackled him to the floor.

As the task force began their decent upon our helpless Light-kun, all he could think about were the hideous colors of the snuggies.

Much gang rape from the Task Force members upon Light ensued and there was much rejoicing.

Flashback to the present:

L had been rejoicing in his new-found power, up until Light destroyed all of the snuggies. L had discovered that when he and the others put on the snuggies, he was able to make their thoughts his own. He decided to put it to the test.

L heard Light walk in and turned to view his reaction to everyone wearing the snuggie, simultaneously, they all turned to view Light as well.

"Is something wrong, Light-kun?" he asked. He watched Light collect himself before replying with a predictable question.

"Why are all of you wearing those fashion disasters?"

L thought this a stupid question but decided to answer anyway. "I like them Light-kun, they keep my toes warm."

"…keep my toes warm."

L watched Light jump at the sound of the others echoing him. He had already become used to it considering they were thinking the exact things he was thinking.

He watched as Light decided to ignore them all and watched him sit down and attempt to work. "This is quite an interesting experiment. I wonder what they will do if I were to go and get something from the sweets cart?" L/the Task Force thought.

As one, they all got up and began their attack upon the sweets cart. Candy, cake, pies, all was devoured under the combined power of L and the Task Force.

L heard the chair Light was sleeping in move and turned to view Light. He watched as Light's eyes dilated and fear began to grow, and L had a new idea. His new thought quickly made it's way through the minds of the Task Force members and it was child's play for them to stop Light from running, and screaming for that matter.

L watched as each member of the Task Force had their way with Light. Yes, even Soichiro and Watari had a go at the poor boy. L watched as Light finally understood that his punishment was over. L himself would never do such a thing to someone, after all, he is Justice.

He watched as Light was released from his captors, watched as Light ran for the bathroom and locked himself in. "Probably sitting on the floor rocking back and forth, no doubt" L/the Task Force thought.

As the day finished, with Light still in the bathroom like a caged animal, L allowed the Task Force members, and Watari, to remove their snuggies and retire home. He was astounded to find that not one of them remembered anything about the day. He watched in silence as Matsuda complained of stomach pains and about some broken molar, and the rest expressed confusion as to the weird lapse in time. They were especially concerned with the fact that Light was in the bathroom, screaming something about "gang rape" and "evil snuggies" whenever they asked him if he was alright.

L announced that they were all free to go home and walked to the bathroom door. "Light-kun, are you planning on coming out?"

"GO AWAY!" Light screamed.

L was shocked. He had never meant for Light to become traumatized. "Oh, well, perhaps he's weaker than I assessed, but he really had it coming for ruining four of my specially ordered Boston Crème Pies" L thought as he left Light to do what he wished.

Light crept out of the bathroom when he heard L and the others leave via the elevator. As he tip-toed out, he saw them, the curséd snuggies.

Light grabbed all of them and shoved them in a pile on the balcony where he promptly proceeded to set them ablaze. As they burned, he walked back into the headquarters and hacked into Watari's computer. As expected Watari had bought many more of the snuggies just in case something should happen to the one L had. Light discovered where they were located and set about the setting those on fire as well. He then used all of his hacking abilities to ensure that neither L nor Watari were ever able to buy them again.

Light felt a certain satisfaction in destroying the snuggies and vowed that as soon as he got L's name, he was as good as dead. Light gave one of his trademark Kira smiles© as he thought of all the ways he could get L back for this.

Flash-forward:

L was dying and he knew it. He could feel his heart slowly stopping. As he looked up into the face of the one who was cradling him, he saw Kira.

Light smiled down at L and knew that he was victorious. As he held the dying detective in his arms he leaned down and whispered, "You should have never used the snuggie."