I Blink and the World Comes Crashing Down
by Angelwings23123

A steady beeping sound greeted my return to consciousness. Hospital, great. I opened my eyes to see that I was right. The thing is, I couldn't seem to remember how I got here. Of course, the more important question was: when can I leave?

As I started to contemplate my chances of escape the door opened to reveal none other than...

"McGoo!"

"Tony, you're awake," McGee responded with some surprise.

"Your powers of observation astound me, McObvious...so, where's Ziva? Did she come too? Did you guys bring me presents?"

"Who's Ziva?" McGee asked, confused.

Then a teasing voice from the doorway asked, "Is she your new girlfriend, Tony?"

If there had been any color in my face it was gone now.

"Kate?"

"Yeah, Tony?"

And there she was standing beside me. Huh.

"OK, You're not supposed to be here..."

I was fairly certain of that fact.

"Why not?"

"Because you're dead," I pointed out.

Though really, she should have known that already.

"What?" She sounded confused.

"You can't be here because you're dead," I slowly explained.

"No, I'm not."

She looked at me like I was the crazy one.

"Yes, you are."

It really was no fair messing with the recently injured.

"Tony, I'm not dead...I'm right here."

Now she looked worried.

"No...No, you can't be here," I looked over at McGee, "McGee! tell her I'm hallucinating. You know me and painkillers, they make me all floopy. She's not really here, right? Kate's not really here. I'm talking to empty space, aren't I? I must look pretty crazy talking away..."

I laugh, even though it's not really funny.

"Tony...You're not hallucinating. Kate's really here."

And now McGee looked worried.

I decided to ignore them both. Then it dawned on me what was going on.

"I know! I'm dreaming. This is all some weird dream. In a minute Kate will probably be dressed in leather, you'll disappear, and that monitor will turn into a tree..."

That's it! This is all just some crazy dream!

"A tree?" McGee sounded skeptical.

Oh, what does he know, he's just a figment of my imagination.

"It's a dream, McClueless. Weird things happen in dreams. I don't need to explain them to you. Now make with the McPoofing."

I wave him away. Why was he in my dream anyway? Kate I can understand, but Probie...? Ok, moving away from the thought that I DID NOT just have.

"You're not dreaming Tony. Look, you're probably still a little confused from the explosion..."

"Explosion?" Ok, now I am confused, "What explosion?"

Though, now that I think about, I can vaguely recall some type of an explosion...

"The car, Tony. The bomb...You told us to run," Kate explained, as if that's supposed to make any kind of sense.

"You almost made it too. I don't know what we were thinking, I mean you're still recovering from the plague," McGee added.

No, this is wrong. This is all wrong. Cue the Twilight Zone theme because we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Though, at least it's not Pearl Harbor.*

"The plague thing happened years ago. And the car...there was an explosion but I was fine."

I was. I remember that. A little scraped up, a little bruised, but there certainly wasn't any trip to the hospital.

"Tony..." Kate began.

I ignored her. I didn't need to hear any more crazy talk.

"Then we continued with the case, we chased after Ari....we were on the roof..." I faltered before the next bit "...and he shot you..."

I felt bad reminding her of that.

"Tony, nobody shot me."

I took a deep breath and continued a bit louder, "Then Ziva came and she was Mossad but she became one of the team and I was framed for murder and McGee shot a cop and Gibbs was in a coma and there was this whole thing where Gibbs left and then came back with some weird scraggly mustache thing and Jenny died and Vance became director and I was framed for murder again and..."

"Tony none of that ever happened..."

Now they both looked scared.

"Yes, it did."

I was very firm on that. Ok, it had sounded a little odd. But all of that did happen. I know it did. I remember it happening.

They both stared at me.

Oh, what do they know.

"Either I'm going crazy. Or this is a dream. You know what? That's the better option, let's go with that: This is a dream."

Maybe if I kept repeating it...

"Tony, look at me," Kate said softly.

I couldn't look her in eye. I squeezed my eyes closed which I know is childish, but who knows? Maybe it'll work.

"You're not dreaming."

"Yes, I am."

And now I sounded childish too, but I didn't really care.

Then Kate pinched me.

"Hey! That hurt!" I opened my eyes, startled.

"See, not a dream!" she said, smiling triumphantly.

"Very funny, Kate..." I answered, sarcastically.

Then it hit me: That. Hurt.

This is not a dream. Oh God...this is not a dream. Kate's really here...

And suddenly my brain just shuts down. It's like it tried to add two plus two and came up with oranges. No comprende. And this...

This...

This. is. not. happening.

This is not happening... thisisnothappening thisisnothappening thisisnothappening thisisnothappening

"Tony you need to calm down!"

I know that. The machine I'm hooked up to is going nuts. The beeping is making it hard to think. But I can't calm down. Because if this is not a dream that means that this is real. And if this is real...

It can't be real. This. is. not. happening.

Then all I can hear is shouting. Everyone is shouting my name and I can hear the sound of running feet. And the beeping is so loud...

---

I must have blacked out because I'm opening my eyes again and the room is quiet. There's Gibbs, sitting in the chair...drinking coffee and not even commenting on my earlier freak-out. If he wants to ignore it, that's fine by me. I'm not about to bring it up.

"Back with us, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss..."

I almost apologize, but I manage to stop myself just in time. Apologies are a sign of weakness.

Then McGee walked in and I hoped he wouldn't bring up my freak-out. There was no need to talk about it. It was over, not gonna happen again, I was fine now.

"Hey McGoo! Where's Kate?"

See? No more crazy talk. Kate was alive, I could deal with that without freaking out. I am fine.

"Tony, Kate died years ago."

And there was McGee looking worried again.

The smile quickly disappeared off my face. And now I'm NOT fine.

"She was just here," I whispered, confused.

They need to stop messing with me. It's really not fair. I'm injured and everything.

"Tony? Are you alright?"

And there's Ziva right behind him. How could I have missed that?

"No, I don't think I am. I'm pretty sure I've gone mad," I whispered.

Maybe I've had one too many headslaps and I now have brain damage.

I let out a nervous laugh.

"DiNozzo?"

Even Gibbs is looking concerned. That's a bad sign.

"Maybe it was just a really weird dream..." I said slowly to myself.

Yeah, that's it. It was just a really weird, really vivid dream.

"Well, they do have you on some pretty strong painkillers..."

There you go.

Except...

"It just seemed so real..."

Because it had. It really really had.

"Next stop, the Twilight Zone..." I mumbled.

"Maybe we should come back when you are a little bit more...coherent," Ziva suggested.

"Good idea," I quickly agreed.

"It was a dream. Just a dream," I whispered after they left, as if to reassure myself.

Because that's all it was. A dream.

Except...it had felt much too real to be dream. As real as this. In fact, my arm is still sore from where Kate pinched me.

My arm is still sore...

My arm is still sore...

And suddenly, I can't breath.

A nurse runs in and she's talking to me but I can't make out the words. I can't breath and I can't understand what she's saying. I think she has something in her hand but I can't tell. My eyes won't focus and I'm still trying to remember how to breathe.

Then suddenly I'm tired. I try to stay awake but I'm just so tired. I can't fight it anymore and my eyes slowly drift close. My last thought before I drift off is I wonder what I will wake up to. I don't know which one I want to be real. And that thought scares me more than anything.

----

*When Tony says: "At least it's not Pearl Harbor." He's referencing the Twilight Zone episode "The Time Element". I was going to have Tony reference the intro to the Twilight Zone, but when I looked it up on Wikipedia I discovered this episode instead and it fit perfectly.

Any and all feedback welcome.