I do not own Bleach. If I did it would have a much more adult rating. Reviews are appreciated!!!

Takes place after the Soul Society arc but before Hitsugaya's group arrives in Karakura.

"Been way too long', Renji thought as he stared out a window at the Sixth Division headquarters. So long that it was driving him to distraction – staring out a window as a case in point. Between the Ryoka incident and then Aizen's betrayal and the immediate aftermath, Renji had barely enough time to sleep, let alone other things. Granted, all the action had been very exciting and he was stronger thanks to it, but it was clearly time for another type of action before he went completely stir crazy.

"Is something wrong, Renji?"

See, he'd been so distracted that he hadn't even noticed his captain enter the office, and that reiatsu was not something he normally missed.

Maybe it was the surprise of Captain Kuchiki suddenly being there or the fact that it really had been too long, or both, but he blurted out without thinking, "It's been way too damn long since I last got laid."

Captain Kuchiki blinked at him.

"Er, um, sorry 'bout that Captain, but you know how it is when a man goes too long." Renji raked a hand through his hair, not quite believing that he'd blurted something like that out to his captain of all people.

When Captain Kuchiki said nothing Renji tried desperately to dig himself out of the hole. "I mean, surely it's happened to even you. You know, when it's been a long time and you get a bit... edgy?"

"I can't say that I know what you mean, Renji," Captain Kuchiki replied as he sat down at his desk.

"No? When was the last time you got laid?" Renji's curiosity won over the survival instinct that said that Captain Kuchiki was not the best person to be asking such a question.

"I do not see how it is any of your business." Renji should have predicted that response.

Self-preservation tossed casually aside, Renji plowed on. "So it's either been recently and you're keeping secrets or it's been longer than you want to admit." As he said it, a sudden realization dawned on him. "Shit, Captain, don't tell me it's been since... uh, never mind, I shouldn't have said anything. I'll just be over here shoveling deeper."

"That would be for the best."

Shit. It really had been that long. Damn. Renji was going stir-crazy and it had only been a few months. Then again, he didn't exactly have the self-control of the great Kuchiki.

A smarter man would have left the matter alone, but Renji had been told before that he had more balls than brains. After not doing any work for a few more minutes because he was so distracted he finally asked, "Has there really been no pretty little thing that caught your eye in all these years? Or has some lovely woman or two crossed your path and you just not acted on it?"

"Renji."

There was a clear warning tone in that voice but Renji pushed on anyway, too intrigued to be dissuaded. "Or perhaps a good looking man or two? There are some good looking men around here, captain. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that sort of thing, mind you, I even go for the men sometimes myself. Don't get me wrong, I like women a lot, but sometimes soft curves and gentle touches are not enough and a hard body pleases me more, so I wouldn't think anything bad of you if you happen to like men at times too, that is if you do, I mean... er... Perhaps, Renji thought, he'd gone a bit too far and all attempts to back-pedal had failed. Not that he hadn't tried.

"What does and does not interest me is beyond the point, Renji."

"Yeah, sorry, Captain, not my business to be asking. My mouth ran away on me."

The captain nodded and turned back to paperwork. Renji frowned at his own work, not ready to pick it up again. He still wanted to get laid.

He stood at the window for ten more minutes before the captain finally commented on it. "Are you going to do any work Renji, or are you going to stand by the window and contemplate your sex life – or lack thereof – for the rest of the day?"

Ouch. Then again, Renji supposed he deserved that. "Sorry Captain, it's just that… you know, that problem, it has me distracted."

"You will just have to deal with it, I suppose."

"Or do something about it in the next few days," Renji muttered.

"I do not care how you deal with it as long as you return to being productive, and soon."

"Say, captain, don't you ever feel the urge to go out and... you know?" he asked, crossing to his desk and sitting on it.

"One, I still do not see how it is any of your business and two, I thought you were through shoveling."

"Oh, right, right," he replied, but made no move to sit at his desk rather than on it.

"Renji. Work."

"Oh, indulge me, Captain, please!"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Answer me one question and I promise I'll work hard for the rest of the day."

"Absolutely not, now get to work."

It took 45 minutes of Renji sitting on his desk, swinging his legs and making paper airplanes out of official paperwork before his captain gave in. Renji was surprised; he'd expected him to last at least an hour.

"Fine, one question, but I want your word that the answer stays confidential, that you get immediately to work, and that you stay late to compensate for the time you've wasted."

It was worth it. "On my honor."

"Ask away."

"Women, men, or both? Well, I guess you obviously like women since you married one, but do you like men as well?"

Captain Kuchiki sighed. "Yes, I like men as well. Now, if you're satisfied, get to work."

Renji sat down at his desk. But he wasn't satisfied, not really. He was still just as frustrated as he had been.

So he got up on the pretense of picking up the dozen or so paper airplanes scattered around the office – after all, he suspected he should actually read a few of those documents.

As he picked up one that had glanced off of Captain Kuchiki's desk, he paused, looking at his captain and wondering how crazy – or perhaps stupid – he was. But there was something he'd wanted to do for quite a while now and damn if this wasn't a good time to do it. He'd probably get killed for it, but at least he'd go with a smile on his face.

"Yes, Renji?" Captain Kuchiki asked after Renji had lingered at his desk a little too long.

"Um... nothing. I'm just contemplating doing something stupid, that's all, Captain."

The captain actually looked exasperated for split second before regaining his perfect composure. "What now?"

"This," Renji said taking the chance – and the advantage of his captain's upturned face – and leaning down to kiss him.

For a long moment Captain Kuchiki did nothing, staying eerily still as Renji kissed him. Then, as it was occurring to Renji that it was a miracle the captain hadn't instantly pushed him away, something more amazing occurred – he was kissing back. Damn well, at that.

In fact, Renji begrudgingly admitted to himself, Kuchiki Byakuya was a better kisser than he was. How in the hell had he learned to do that?

Renji finally pulled back, grinning like an idiot at his own audacity and improbable success.

"Renji, if you're going to do something stupid you should really take much more of a risk."

Renji stared, not sure if he had really heard that right. "Are... are you okay, Captain?"

"No, not at all."

"Oh."

"You see, Renji, up until a moment ago I didn't really understand what you meant when you said it had been too long. Now, I'm afraid I do."

"You do?"

"Yes. And it appears to be your fault."

"My fault?" Renji swallowed. "Yes... it is... um, I'm very sorry about that, Captain."

"No, I suspect you're really not."

"Well... to be honest, I didn't exactly mind."

"I didn't think so. The question now, is, Renji, are you prepared to face the consequences?"

"No. But I'm sure whatever it is, I deserve it."

"I suppose so. I also suspect you'll enjoy it."

"I'll... wait... what?" Something, and he really wasn't sure what, had come over his captain, and Renji didn't know what to make of it. It scared him a little; that different look in Captain Kuchiki's eyes, a look Renji didn't really understand but thought he should and a tone to the captain's words that hadn't been there before.

Captain Kuchiki grabbed him by the collar of his robes and kissed him again.

…..

There will be lots more fun in the next chapter, assuming anyone like the story that is.