--I dont own anything twilight, we all know who does--

I remember the life I thought I was determined to have. Looking back maybe I was naive. But girls in my days had big dreams even if the dreams werent realistic. I blame my family for the ways I was accustomed to.

My mother had goals for me, since it wasnt the usual for spouses to divorce my parents were in a marriage that wasnt the best choice for them. They married because it was custom for couples who had a baby. If a man impregnated a female then they were forced into marriage. That is what happened to my parents. Now they got on each others' nerves. Always arguing when my father wasnt at work bringing in money for our family. My mother would babysit from home, and I'm beginning to think that is what pushed her to push me into getting married.

I had been dating a childhood friend when I got told I had to break it off. I loved him and dreamed to marry him one day when we were of age but that dream was crushed. My mother told me that dating a native boy wasnt the best for our family. I didnt understand why I wasnt allowed to love, and the fact that he was native american should have meant nothing. But we were pushed apart and my mother found me someone 'worthy' for my affections. I didnt want to marry him, he wanted me to be a princess in appearance and being in corsets was never my idea of fun.

James King, every woman wanted him to themselves but he only wanted my affection. I believed it was because I was one of the only females who didnt fall at his feet. Every day my mother made me dress in the best dressed and do my hair up in just a way to catch his attention. He took me on dates, he doted on me..he was even providing my family with money they needed during the dark times. I was used as a pawn in my mother's game to be wealthy and I couldnt deny her.

With my love sent away and kept from me I had no one to cast my attention to but this man who was attempting to buy my affections. He may have won over my family but I wasnt attracted to money. And if it wasnt for the need to help my family, I wouldnt be here right now I would have moved away and married the man I truly loved. But these were the cards I was dealt and I was doing just fine keeping my part of the deal. But slowly, after James knew I wouldnt be going anywhere, things changed. And it was one night in particular when my life as I knew it, was flipped upside down.

It was the night before our engagement party, everyone would be there. I was supposed to meet up with him tonight because he had requested it. I tried to fake illness but was told whatever it was that I had contracted was not bad enough to stop me from seeing my fiance. It was times like this that I truly disliked my mother. My father actually believed that I was falling for this man. I knew there was a reason i was a daddy's girl.

Walking towards James' home I spotted him and a group of his friends outside by his stables. It was his usual crowd, and I disliked them all.

"there's my princess" I heard James' voice slurring. One of his vices I had recently found out about. "come here Isabella"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, not only was is disrespectful but it was seen as unladylike. I walked over to him holding my dress to keep from stepping on it and risk it getting dirty in the dirt as I walked. As I approached I could see he must have been celebrating because not only was he drunk his friends were as well. He stepped close to me and I fought the gag in the back of my throat from the smell of the liquor on his breath.

"isnt she a sight?" He asked his friends as he grabbed my hand making me spin as if I was a trophy. "and pure. Never been touched in the ways only a husband should touch his wife"

Lies. I had in fact lost my virginity to my first love. But hadnt told my mother of the fact. So of course I was seen as virginal because I hadnt given my body to this man i was promised to. He reached his hand to the top of my breast that waas exposed from my dress. Running his knuckles over the flesh softly I shuddered in disgust internally. If I had done it externally he may have taken the shudder as delight when in fact it was me wanting to run from him.

"how do you know you'll enjoy your wedding night if you havent tested her James?" His friend Laurent smirked. He was a womanizer and had had many women in his lifetime.

"you know..Laurent you make a point" James said moving both hands up to cup my breasts through the fabric. "I have never even seen my future bride without clothing."

I gasped as he ripped my dress top down causing my breasts to become exposed almost fully. I tried to back up only to get grabbed from behind from his other friend Alex who chuckled lowly holding me in place. James licked his lips before pulling up the bottom of my dress and knealing to look up at my underclothes. I couldnt struggle because of the strength of Alex.

"let her go Alex" James spoke and I was almost relieved until he finished his statement. "you have to wait until i give word whether she is worth my bachelorhood or not"

I wanted to cry but fought against the tears as Alex released me and James grabbed me pulling me into the stables where his friends followed. I dont remember what order they went I just remember the pain. I didnt stay still waiting for each one to violate me I fought back and in return my body was beaten. I lay in the stables now with the door slightly ajar letting the cold winter air blow through freezing the blood that was on my skin. I could feel my consciousness slipping but was scared to close my eyes in fear of a return of one of the men. My heart was slowly beating and I knew I was near death. No one would find me, no one would know who did this to me and they would hurt another. If only I had more strength. I took a shaky breath and rolled to my side with all the energy I could muster up. If I could just get to the door and scream for help. Just maybe I could tell them who did this to me before i died. It felt like hours before I managed to pull my weak body to the doorway of the stables and managed to push the door open. The cold wind hit my face and I shuddered from the icy feeling.

"help" I whimpered. It sounded more like a whisper, the winds were louder than my voice. I cleared my throat and attempted again. "please help me"

I coughed and watched as blood hit the snow underneath me. I felt as if someone was sitting on me holding the air out of my lungs and i was dizzy. I couldnt even cry because I had no energy to do so. No one would find me. No one would-

"hello?"

My head lifted enough to see a blurry imaged of a man. He came to me quickly and when he touched me it felt of ice. Instead of recoiling from it I accepted it because it was the only person who would see me take my last breath. What would my last words be? I had to choose them wisely. He kept asking me questions that I couldnt answer. I couldnt use up my last breath on a simple answer that would mean nothing. He picked me up so effortlessly I wondered how it was possible. I was numb to any feeling so I couldnt feel the pain I knew I should be feeling and I closed my eyes trying to muster up my last words. I felt like I was flying now and knew I needed to get my words out quickly because I was being taken from earth.

"James King.." I whispered opening my eyes looking up at the pale man looking down at me. "dont let ..anyone ...die"

After I spoke the last words I gasped feeling my lungs collapse and welcomed the darkness that embraced me like a childhood blanket.