Title: Girls Just Want To Have Male Strippers

Author: Shelby

Summary: Serena and Blair decide to have a little Lost Weekend of their own after 3.09. And how else is this to be accomplished than with male strippers? Something tells me when Chuck and Nate return in the morning they may be in for a little surprise. One-Shot.

A/N: Okay so anyways I thought since the guys get to have fun with the strippers well... Let's see how they like it when the girls do the exact same, just with male strippers. Oh and in this one-shot Serena doesn't stay behind with Trip, since we all know that no good is going to come from that, but actually shows she gives a you know what about her and Blair's friendship. Because to be honest in the last episode I felt like Blair was so excited to have a night with Serena, but then was once again abandoned by S.

--

The elevator at the Waldorf penthouse dinged. The brunette and blond haired boy best friends stepped out. The entire place was silent. Of course this made sense. Eleanor Rose, her husband Cyrus, and their beloved maid Dorota were half way across the country to start off her new fashion line. What they hoped to find here, the dark haired boy in particular, was Blair Waldorf. Chuck Bass had been abandoned by his girlfriend for a girls night with her best friend Serena Vanderwoodsen. Him and Nate had stayed at his apartment and watched television, nothing like the previous night which had been apart of the long practiced "Lost Weekend".

"Think they're still asleep?" Nate asked him as they stepped into the foyer. Chuck turned to look at him for a moment and just shrugged. That sounded reasonable, but if they were up in Blair's old bedroom then perhaps down here it was quiet.

"I doubt it," he replied, "If I know Blair her and Serena spent the evening watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', eating Macaroons, and falling asleep just after midnight." His best friend chuckled at the dark haired boys response.

"You're right. I mean Serena had her party days, but her and Blair together? How much trouble could they have gotten into?" His blue eyes rolled. Chuck soon returned the laughter. Neither knew what was in store for them in the next room. They stepped inside the family room and all laughter died.

There were scattered pillows, dollar bills, macaroons, champagne bottles, and male clothing articles all over the place. Jaws dropped as they realized the owners of those clothes were still in the room. On very toned, tan, and should be on the cover of a romance novel male was spread out on the floor. He was stripped down to nothing, but a pair of male underwear. Next to him was Serena, her blond hair sprawled out in the male performers face. However it was the sight on the couch that earned a few gasps and grunts from the best friend duo. There, with her perfectly manicured feet propped up on the coffee table, was a passed out Blair Waldorf... Between two more male strippers. One wore a pair of boxers, the other even less. The only thing they had in common was that their chosen accessories, from the brunette vixen herself no doubt, both belonged to her boyfriend Chuck Bass... A beautiful pastel bow-tie and very memorable looking scarf.

"Oh... My..." Nate trailed off, blue eyes widened.

"WALDORF!" Chuck shouted.

--

Setting: The night before with Blair and Serena. Both girls are highly intoxicated by now and among all the giggles and, sadly immature, prank phone calls, the subject of a recently (And in both their opinions tired out) tradition of a certain Lost Weekend has been brought up.

"Can you believe it S?! Strippers?! Filthy, probably STD infested, strippers in my lingerie! I should have castrated him," Blair drawled. Her tone of voice showed just how intoxicated she was. Unfortunately her best friend next to her was even worse, half empty champagne bottle in hand.

"In your lingerie! Oh I would kill him B! That... That... What is it you always say?" Her perfectly sculpted blond eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It was a skill she had mastered after years of practice.

"Oh there's a whole list! Chuck Bass-tard! Mother-Chucker! Bass-hole! I should make a freaking dictionary," Blair proclaimed and snatched her own bottle of champagne. She took a swig of it and giggled to herself.

"Don't forget Nate's role in all of this!" Serena slapped her shoulder. "He was class-whore after all! REMEMBER?!" Her back slouched against the seat and she shook her head. Blair looked to her with a slightly hazed/drunken smirk, but a smirk no doubt. She wondered when the Serena/Nate crush/jealousy would appear again. And since she was so over Nate, it hadn't bothered her at all.

"Well duh! I mean he just broke up with Bree from Texas or whatever... I mean that boy is practically a male stripper himself," Blair nudged.

"OH MY GOD!" Serena jumped up. "That's it! That's what we need?!"

"Nate as our male stripper?" Blair shot her a puzzled look.

"No! No!" The blond shook her head and then grabbed her best friend's shoulders. "We need male strippers! But ones we don't know... Hot ones, with abs!"

"But I have a boyfriend," Blair pointed out.

"And he had his own last weekend or whatever they call it just the other night. So now we get to have one, with male strippers! I LOVE MALE STRIPPERS!" Serena now danced around the room.

"Our own lost weekend it is then!" Blair jumped up. Both girls were now giddy with excitement. However all of it slowed when they realized the male entertains were not going to appear out of nowhere.

"I'll call them," Serena beat her to it and pulled out her phone. Blair just nodded and popped a macaroon into her mouth, washing it down with another swig of Champagne. She wasn't even going to bother asking why her best friend had male strippers on call... Okay this Macaroon/Champagne combination was so good. Oh Drunken jumping thoughts...

(Later that night)

"LIKE A VIRGIN! TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!" Serena and Blair both leaned in and practically screamed their singing into each other's faces. The male strippers watched the brunette and blond duo who had popped up to give a show of their own when Madonna graced the soundtrack.

"Like a virgin!" Serena sang and grabbed the hands of the tannest stripper. He spun her around and she giggled. Blair fell on the couch, all the alcohol now affecting her mobility. She watched as her best friend tore off the pants of her selected male exotic dancer and jumped on his back. "When your heart beats! Next to mine!"

"I LOVE MALE STRIPPERS! THEY'RE SO MUCH FUN S!" Blair screamed and threw her hands up above her head. Serena nodded her head in agreement. To be honest, neither girl had touched any of the three men at all, but had not minded the little show that had gone on earlier. And being treated like a Goddess was nice... Even if the soundtrack included Madonna.

"I know! Oh what's this?!" Serena held up a box and then dumped it. "Chuck stuff for everyone!" Blair's eyes widened as Chuck's favorite scarf and bow-tie fell out of the "present boyfriend box".

"Boys!" Blair commanded to the other two strippers, not occupied with her best friend. "Bring me the scarf and bow-tie!" The male strippers chuckled and then picked up the selected items. Each fell beside Blair, her sandwiched in between. With such muscular bodies she looked even more tiny than usual.

"Miss Waldorf what are these?" the blond one flashed her a smile.

"Blair please!" she stated dramatically, "But those are..." Female strippers in her precious lingerie... "Those are yours for tonight! Each of you put one on."

"HE GETS THE SCARF!" Serena stumbled over and assigned each what to wear. She then switched it about a hundred times. In the end one wore the scarf, the other the bow-tie. "Now, come on Rome," the blond purred, "Let's go find a shirt I can put on and then rip off of you." She led her own stripper up the stairs, not that any of Cyrus's clothes were going to fit... But oh well.

Blair sighed happily and closed her eyes. She then realized something and opened them. The smirk of a chesire cat appeared on her lips as she turned her head, back and forth. Both men smiled at her and she reached out to touch their sculpted abs. They reminded her of Greek Gods... Now she had always claimed to be Queen, but perhaps little J could have it now. After all Goddess Blair sounded so much better.

(Much, Much, Much Later That Night)

"I mean would you give slutty strippers my underwear!? Well not all strippers are bad. You guys are great!" Blair ranted with inebriated speech. Both boys just nodded their heads. "Oh crap! Now I'm angry again," her lips formed a pout.

"Oh no Goddess Blair (Yes she had gotten them to call her that) here touch my abs!" he at the right said quickly.

"No she'll touch mine first!" the one at the left interjected. Blair held up both hands.

"Boys, boys... Please, I have two hands," she reasoned. Both her hands then smacked against their tones bodies. "See, problem solved. Right S?!"

"SHH! WE'RE FABIO AND I ARE TRYING TO PLAY WII!" Serena snapped her head around. She then quickly turned back to the game. Blair let out a huge laugh and then nuzzled against Hottie 1 and Hottie 2.

"But I do love him, the stupid bastard. God I love him so much," Blair smiled. A vision, although a little blurred, of Chuck appeared in her mind. However when she suddenly thought of what his expression may look like if he saw her now... Well she decided to change the subject, or not. "This is just honest fun right boys? I'm not doing anything wrong?" Her face now looked worried.

"Oh no Goddess Blair. After all he have strippers with his friend. Now you have us," Hottie 1 assured her.

"And we are better than filthy, std infected, 10 cent gutter sluts... Remember your exact words?" Hottie number 2 encouraged. Blair stared at them for a few moments and then shrugged, carefree feeling back.

"Of course! You know... You boys should come around more often... SERENA press button 1, not 2!"

--

(Back to the Present)

"WALDORF!"

Blair frowned in her sleep. Why was someone being so loud? God her head hurt... And she felt a little sick. She needed some comfort. Where were hottie 1 and hottie 2. A smirk graced her lips, eyes still closed, oh here they were.

"Hey! I said Waldorf! Not grab man candy at your sides!" The loud, familiar, and slightly angry sounding voice interrupted her wonderful dream again. Then she realized something... Oh shit. Her eyes snapped open to meet the now almost black looking ones of her boyfriend, Chuck Bass.

"Serena!" Blair screamed in a whisper. She threw a pillow at her best friend.

"I SAID ONE MORE ROUND OF WII FABIO!" Serena jumped up, controller still in hand. Nate glanced at her, jaw practically dropped to the floor. Her eyes then focused on him and she giggled nervously. "Hey there Nate... Chuck... Have you met Fabio?" The male stripper next to her sat up, he waved at both of them. Nate smiled and sent an awkward wave back, but Chuck just shook his head. He walked right past them and over to the couch. His arms crossed as he towered over them, since he was standing, and lips pursed.

"Hottie number 1, number 2! We're in trouble," Blair whispered. Perhaps not all the alcohol had warn off just yet. After all they had drank past dawn... And only been asleep a few hours. The two exotic dancers both awoke and smiled at Blair, yet to realize the not too happy boyfriend in front of them.

"Goddess Blair," One smiled charmingly.

"How did you sleep?" the other asked. Chuck raised his eyebrows and cleared his throat. Blair giggled between both of them, but then looked to chuck. She bit her bottom lip.

"I was just going to get one like Serena, but it was buy two get one free," Blair shrugged.

"No Fabio! WE LEFT THE PICTURES UPSTAIRS! COME ON NATIE YOU CAN SEE THEM!" Serena proclaimed. She then dragged both... boys up the staircase. Blair glared at it, why was she always abandoned in the worst moments.

"Pictures?" Chuck asked, clenched teeth.

"You must be the boyfriend," the one on her right smiled at him.

"Oh... him?" the one at the left almost took on a mocking tone. As if he was not impressed. Well they were a bit more tan, buff, and taller than Chuck... But she loved Chuck.

"He's good in bed," Blair explained with a nod.

"Hey!" Chuck snapped his fingers and all three heads looked towards him again. "Chip and Dale, hand over the scarf, bow-tie, girlfriend, and get lost." His jealousy side was so sexy, Blair sighed happily.

"We are actually paid for until noon," One told him. Blair giggled and then stood up. She fell against Chuck, yes she was still very intoxicated indeed.

"Chuckie come sit on the couch too," she smiled. Chuckie? "It's so much fun," She nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He smirked, but then noticed their audience. Blair laughed, pushed off of him, and fell back down by them again.

"Play time over!" Chuck proclaimed and yanked both men up. "Scarf, bow-tie, door now," he ordered. Both looked to Blair, how dare they? Had they honestly just ignored Chuck Bass.

"Chuck don't make them leave. They love me. Tell him what you call me boys," she winked.

"Goddess Blair," Both answered in union. Luckily they had also handed over the scarf and bow-tie.

"Awe cute... Get out," Chuck retorted, tone very sarcastic and serious. Both sighed, but left. Fabio also trailed behind them, Serena and Nate still upstairs. When they were gone Chuck turned back to Blair. "What were you thinking?"

"Well I was trying to figure out which one was hottie number 1 and which one was hottie number 2," Blair answered as she pondered the thought. Chuck narrowed his eyes and then sat down next to her. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit. Honestly she was his girlfriend. And Chuck Bass's girlfriend did not do male strippers, especially spend the night with them, or lend out some of his things to them.

"That is not what I meant. I meant to ask why you, my girlfriend, had male strippers without my permission, stayed the night with them, named them, touched them, and lent out my things to them," he seethed. Blair giggled and stroked his clothed chest... Well it was for now anyways, oh how she loved champagne.

"You're jealous," she returned.

"No I'm not. Now answer the question, beg for forgiveness, and then promise to never do any of it again," Chuck ordered. Blair pretended to think about it and then shook her head.

"Nope." Her finger pointed playfully into his chest.

"Excuse me?" How dare she? She had...

"As long as the lost weekend is in motion, Hottie number 1 and number 2 will be employed," Blair Waldorf smirked. If there was ever a greater example for taste of his own medicine...

"Don't forget Fabio too!" Serena shouted from upstairs. Her and Nate then stumbled down the staircase.

"Oh yeah, him too," Blair smiled. Chuck's face dropped. His girlfriend's face read that she was very serious.

"Nathaniel," Chuck called him to attention. His eyes however stayed with Blair's.

"Yeah?" Nate asked, still puzzled with the whole situation.

"Lost weekend has officially been retired," he confirmed.

"Good decision," Blair smiled. She then grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. Make that best decision... Although they would be missed. "Now, about you calling me Goddess Blair," she pulled apart.

"Let's see how you feel when that hangover comes Goddess Blair," Chuck smirked with a chuckle. Blair and Serena both giggled, but later... His words would have much more meaning. Still though, there comes a time when girls just want to have male strippers. Then again though, not every girl had Chuck Bass as their boyfriend.

--

A/N: So what did you think? Did you enjoy it or should I take it down? Oh and obviously B and S weren't their complete usual selves, but they were intoxicated not OOC.