title: The Merry Band of Idiots
author: ohwhatsherface
warnings: spoilers up to 469, minor not-noticeable Hebi/Hawk mockery, and balls-I-cannot-embrace-certain-characters D:
pairing: NOOOOONE
notes: Team Sakura is so my new favourite team
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

…

…

"We need a team name," Kiba, who was currently on watch, declared with a shout, effectively waking up everyone around him. "Guys!" He looked at them all, actually surprised that they were awake. "Guys, we totally need a team name!"

"Do we, Kiba?" Sakura drawled wryly, glaring at him for interrupting her sleep.

"Seriously!" Kiba scratched his head. "Okay, let's brainstorm—"

"Why do we require a team name?" Sai asked, genuinely curious.

Kiba snorted. "Uh, to set us apart from all the other losers, obviously. I was thinking Team Awesome but it seems a little too arrogant, and Team Cooler-Than-Your-Mom might offend a few people, you know?"

Lee seemed to like the idea of a team name. "Why don't we choose an animal that reflects upon our characters?! LIKE A SQUIRREL!"

"No," Sai replied after brief consideration. "Perhaps for others that is a good idea, however—"

"Naming ourselves after an animal would be totally lame," Kiba said. Sakura glared at him for being so blunt, but Kiba merely shrugged. Like hell he was going to sugar coat the obvious when something as important as his team name was at stake! "Okay, okay… let's think guys, come on! And nothing stupid."

"Perhaps we can name it after our objective," Sai suggested.

Sakura, who was sitting in silence, wondered what the hell was wrong with her teammates. Curse Shikamaru, for saying the four of them were a good combination.

"Ew." Kiba's face scrunched in distaste. "Dude, Team Stalk-Sasuke? That's lamer than Team Squirrel."

Lee pouted. "Team Squirrel had much potential, Kiba-kun!"

"Yeah, potential to be a fail."

"Then maybe we should name it after our team leader!" Lee proposed, shooting a hand in the air. He was back to showing off his megawatt smile, indicating his youth was not shatter by Kiba's utter frankness. "Like Team Gai!"

Kiba seemed to like that idea. He leaned back, as if seeing the name in the stars. "Team Kiba, huh…" It worked. "I LIKE IT—"

"Team Kiba?"

The three boys looked over at Sakura, who had been quiet the entire time. Her face was calm but one eyebrow was raised challengingly at Kiba. She had her arms crossed in a haughty manner that made something in Kiba bristle, but when he met her cold eyes, he felt the need to piss himself.

Balls.

"…um, yeah," he replied slowly.

She flipped her pink hair over her shoulder. "And what makes you think you are in charge Kiba?"

Lee would never contradict his precious Sakura-san but even Sai chose to remain silent. Kiba gulped.

"Okayfineyouarethealphafemale," he squeaked, huddling in his cloak and praying for mercy. "Pleasedon'tkillme."

Sakura stared him down for a bit longer, seeming to enjoy watching him squirm under her intense gaze. Then, much to their confusion, she smiled like the fickle, mood-changing girl she was.

"Okay!" Sakura chirped. "If you insist." She sighed happily. "Team Sakura… I like the sound of that."

As she giggled mockingly, Kiba scowled and glared at the fire like an affronted child.

He never won.

…

…