Disclaimer: I'm NOT the owner or creator of Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I was, well I'd make XS official.

Warning: contains swearing, Xanxus (that itself is a warning okay?), sex, and a pointless story

Author's Note: Always wanted to do an XS oneshot becaue the XS I'm writing now isn't one and so at the request of friend olly-sshi, I did. My first attempt at a oneshot, and nonetheless a oneshot of my OTP (different from my OT3). Also first attempt at publishing a sex scene.

So if all this hasn't deterred you, I love you and I hope you read till the end.

Il capo incontra il bambino

"You get better with age Giannini." Squalo commented as he studied his sword. "Shit, this is nice." The silver-haired swordsman grinned as he attached the blade to his mechanical arm and moved it around to get used to it.

"Shi, shi, shi, my knives too!" Bel said as he studied them and flexed them slightly.

"Well I wanted to lighten the load a little but not reduce the quality of your skills." Giannini said as he blushed. "Err...where is Mr. Xanxus?"

"He was hungry." Squalo muttered and they all understood. It was an hour away till midnight but if Xanxus was hungry, his hunger came first.

"Well I will need to pack up soon." Giannini said.

"Going somewhere?" Squalo asked as he disconnected the blade.

"Japan, I need to tune their weapons a little as well as check on the wirings for the base. Also, the Bovino family sent me some things that I should get to the little Lambo too." Giannini said. Squalo didn't know much about the kid, he only remembered that he was loud and obnoxious. "Oh and happy early birthday Squalo."

"Er wha-?" Squalo asked.

"Silly, silly! It's your birthday tomorrow, or in an hour. I already have your present and you're going to love it with a passion." Lussuria sang as he glided in to the room.

"I doubt it." Squalo muttered.

"Already turning twenty-six, huh? So old." The twenty year old prince said. "My being present in your presence is a birthday present enough."

"Then I'll throw you out first." Squalo threatened. "Anyways I'll go check what that dumb boss is doing, a person can't sit eating for so freaking long unless he killed the maids for giving him shit." With that, Squalo turned around and pushed past the double doors and walked out. The others in the room heard him saying things along the line of 'A-grade material! I make sure they buy the best fucking crap ever and still he acts like there's a t-bone rammed way up in his ass.'

"Ooh, what's this?" Bel commented as he snickered slightly. He watched Giannini sort through the weapons and his eyes fell on a large one.

"The ten year-bazooka, but I'm working on a more modified version." He said proudly as he wiped the purple weapon with pride.

"I'll be taking this since I'm a prince." Bel said as he swooped it up, surprised at how light it was.

"H-hey!" Giannini protested.

"I'll use it on Squalo, that peasant needs to pay for speaking against a prince. Oh-what does this thing do?"

"Eyyyy, boss!" Squalo called out as he barged through the doors to the grand dining room. Xanxus sat at the far end of the table while two maidservants stood patiently at the side. There was a huge array of food on the table, all that Xanxus claimed to like and Squalo knew that since it was him who always had to be there in the kitchens to tell the chefs what to make. He'd never seen a man who could change his mind in the middle of a bite and want something else until he sat for dinner with his boss for the first time in his life. More food was on the floor than in his stomach and the young swordsman had gone to bed hungry.

"What the fuck do you want stupid shark? Can't you see I'm fucking eating? And this shit's too salty." He said as he pushed the plate away.

"Boss you're such an asshole you know? I mean you waste so much fucking foo—uuhEY!" Squalo said as he nearly dodge a flying glass of pomegranate juice.

"Don't fucking bother me." Xanxus muttered.

"Your guns have been tuned." Squalo said as he turned around and at the same time Bel popped his head past the door. "What the fuck are you doing here stupid baby Prince?"

"Shi,shi,shi...revenge!" He sang as he stepped in with the large purple bazooka.

"What the fuck?" Squalo hissed.

"BOTH OF YOU SHITHEADS GET OUT!" Xanxus yelled and at the same time Bel pulled the trigger, aiming at Squalo. Giannini came huffing in after Bel.

"Prince Belphegor! Please I haven't fixed it yet!" He called but it was too late as the trigger was already pulled and pink cloud filled the room after a bang. When the cloud slowly cleared out, a small shape of a kid could be seen.

"Mama?" The voice asked in a scared voice. The three males as well as the maids looked down in surprise at the small boy sitting on the floor. He was scrawny as he was small. He wore an old shirt that was slightly bigger for his size and was probably a bright red once but had faded to a slight pink after so many washings. His shorts were the same too, appearing as grey instead of black. He turned to look around and his eyes went first to Xanxus.

Immediately Xanxus knew that the boy in front of him was a younger Squalo. Even if there was sleep in the child's eye—it was an hour till midnight—the eerie bright-grey eyes that belonged to Squalo were the same ones this boy had. "Mister, am I dead?"

"Hey shouldn't this be a thirty...err thirty something old Squalo?" Bel asked, ignoring the kid.

"That's why I was telling you it wasn't fixed! I was seeing if I can make a dial so you could go twenty, ten or five years back as well as forward." Giannini exclaimed as he grabbed the weapon from Bel. "I don't even know how long he's going to have to stay here, all I can hope for is that it'll be five minutes."

"Heh, oops." The prince said shrugging as he crept away. He would never apologize, since he was a prince.

"Everyone get out." Xanxus said in a low, threatening voice. Giannini was the first to shoot out and the maids vanished past the side door that connected to the kitchen. The young Squalo was frightened and unsure of where to go and he turned back to the only man left.

"A-are you god?" He asked. Xanxus saw the look in the child's eyes, it was a mix of awe and fear. Something that was never present anymore in the Squalo he saw now. "Hey mister, am I dead then?" Squalo asked, still persistent.

"No, you've just entered another world." Xanxus said, unable to think up anything else and he was surprised to see the child's face brighten in response.

"Oh cool!" He exclaimed as he jumped around, sleep gone from his body but he immediately stopped a few seconds later. "But how do I go back home?"

"You'll be gone soon." He said as he watched the young Squalo look around as he rocked on his heels, there was no denying the fact that this Squalo was impossibly cute.

"Hey mister, is there a party here today? 'Cause there's a lot of food. Mama never makes that much food even if really important people come. Ohhh-are you a rich man? I want to be a rich man when I grow up because I want to eat a lot of things. I'll share with my brothers and sisters too. But you know what mister? My brothers never share with me, only my sisters do so I'll only share with them." Squalo took a deep breath, surprised that Xanxus didn't talk.

"You always talk this much?" He asked, slightly irritated.

"Do you think I talk a lot? I actually don't. Everyone talks over me because they're all older so I end up having to yell to be heard and it's really annoying. I have a lot of stuff to say so I usually tell the plants in our garden." Squalo said. Xanxus smiled slightly as he pushed back from the table a bit. The kid was totally carefree. He could tell that Squalo didn't have the most luxurious upbringing—neither did Xanxus for the first few years of his life—but this kid was totally carefree and open. And Xanxus knew it was him that broke that personality down.

"Come sit." He said as he patted his leg and Squalo ran over and jumped on, causing Xanxus to wince slightly and regret his sudden idea.

"Ooh! So much food!" Squalo exclaimed. "Where are your guests mister?"

"Xanxus." He said.

"Huh?"

"I'm Xanxus and you're the guest." Squalo turned around with wide eyes.

"Me?" He asked in disbelief. "I'm the guest?'

"Yes." Xanxus said nodding and small boy turned back to the table. "Eat what you like."

Squalo reached over and took the plate Xanxus had pushed aside previously and began eating.

"If's leally teshy!" The boy squealed but after a couple more bites he pushed the plate aside. "I'm sorry Xanxus mister, I won't be able to eat this all." He said as he turned around so he sat on both of the boss' legs and so that he could face him, even if he had to look up.

"Why not?" Xanxus asked.

"There's a lot of food and I feel bad that my family can't eat it." Squalo said looking down.

"Tell me Squalo, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Xanxus asked, changing the topic and unsurprisingly, Squalo replied.

"A farmer, o-or a Mafia boss!" He exclaimed, forgetting the food. This time Xanxus couldn't help it and he started to laugh and it wasn't the usual bark of cruel laughter at someone's—usually Squalo's—expense. "H-hey, that's not nice. You're just like my brothers."

"I'm not laughing at you, I swear. I just find them to be total opposites."

"I wonder how I'll be when I grow up?" Squalo mused and somehow, Xanxus felt his insides knotting. He wasn't the kind to go into too much detail about the pasts of his subordinates, in fact it came to a point where he really didn't care. The same applied to Squalo, despite the fact that the swordsman knew everything about Xanxus, the Varia leader could probably pick out whatever he knew from the years Squalo spent with him. Yet here sat the small one, an innocent five-year old child with large expectations and shining eyes as he stared up with wonder at the man before him. The same man that in due time would bring the shark down in one blow, only to have him shake his head and stand back up again.

Only Squalo was capable of that, only Squalo.

"Don't ever mention this to anyone okay?" Xanxus said as he leaned downwards a little.

"A-a secret?" Squalo asked as his eyes widened.

"Yes a big secret." Xanxus said as he used his hands to emphasize it. He knew that saying anything wrong could result in a different future, probably a future in which Xanxus and Squalo never knew each other.

"Tell me." Squalo whispered. "I promise I'll keep it a secret."

"When you grow up, you're going to be the most loyal ally a person can have." Xanxus said, pleased that it wasn't a lie but something that the adult Squalo could never remember Xanxus telling him.

"What does that mean? I'm not going to be a boss?" Squalo asked, clearly disappointed. "Are you a boss? Why do you have such a big hurt on your face? Does your hurt give you pain? Does your mamma kiss it away? I always feel a little better when my mamma does that."

"I don't have a err-mamma now." Xanxus said and Squalo's face fell with sympathy.

"So no one makes your hurt feel better?" Squalo asked.

"Will you?" Xanxus asked teasingly but he was surprised when the little five-year old boy reached up and kissed the cheek where the scar was.

"I'm not as magical as my mom is though." Squalo said with worry but he smiled with relief as Xanxus ruffled Squalo's hair.

"It's pretty magical, you've got great powers." Xanxus said and in response the young boy blushed.

"I'll be your mamma then? Bu-but wait no, I'm too young and I can't cook or clean the bed. I'll be the magical healer okay? If you get another hurt, you can ask for me." He said importantly.

"I'll do that." Xanxus said grinning. He looked up at the clock and realized that there was only one minute left, if the bazooka was working properly, "Hey, tomorrow is your birthday right? March-" Xanxus asked. This was something he knew since Lussuria made such a big deal of everyone's birthdays.

"THIRTEEN! Y-yeah! I'm going to be six years old! I'll be closer to being a man!" He exclaimed. "I want to be as cool as you are Mister Xanxus." The scarred man smiled as he reached over the table and took an untouched platter. He saw the time once more and turned back to Squalo.

"Take this okay? Hold on to it tightly, you'll be going back home soon." Xanxus said as he handed the platter to the young boy. The boy's face crumpled.

"B-but I don't want to go yet though." Squalo complained with a pout.

"Don't worry, one day we'll see each other again. And I might be mean to you but, but you'll stay anyways right?" Xanxus asked as he placed the boy on the floor. "Sit."

Squalo sat cross-legged on the floor and held on to the platter tightly. "If you're mean I'll just tell mamma on you but don't worry I'll still be the best healer ev-" The sentence never finished as with a bang and a puff of pink cloud, the little boy disappeared and after the cloud cleared out Xanxus who was still kneeling on the floor was face to face with the older Squalo who had a bewildered expression.

"You're back." Xanxus stated as he stood up again. "Don't do stupid shit like that anymore. Can't you dodge a fucking bazooka? And you call yourself a member of the Varia. Shameless shit."

"X-xanxus." Squalo stuttered.

"Really, I need to talk to that fucking shit of a prince too. Who the hell does he think he is to barge into my dining room while I eat? Fuck my food's all cold."

"I don't remember much of that time. I mean I guess I forgot your name too as I grew. But that time when I saw you, I knew I had to follow you."

"Good for you, now get someone to get me new food."

"I do remember that when I turned six I had the best birthday meal ever, food I'd only seen in those magazines. As I grew, my mom would tell me that I'd always want to be a healer and that for a while if anyone got hurt I'd go kiss away. That was all because of you right?"

"Don't blame your fucked up way of thinking on me you shitter." Xanxus said as he could imagine the little boy running up to people. His eyes raged with jealousy that went unnoticed by Squalo who stood up and brushed himself off as he made to go to the kitchen. Yet for some reason, despite not really eating, Xanxus was quite full, all he felt was the deep pressure in his groins. And so before his closest subordinate could leave, he reached forward and grabbed the other by the elbow. "You talked so much as a kid and you still can't shut the fuck up now can you?" Xanxus asked as he dragged Squalo out of the room.

"X-xanxus, your food!" Squalo stammered as he pointed towards the kitchen.

"I'm skipping to the final entree." He said as he marched through the halls, blood pounding as he kicked his bedroom door open as soon as he reached it. It locked behind him and he pulled the Squalo that was struggling to break away towards his bed.

"VOOOIII XANXUS! You were turned on by my five year old self weren't you? FUCK-stay the fuck away you perverted pedophilic-oomph!" Squalo was shut up by a rough kiss on the mouth as he was pressed against the bedpost. He managed to elicit a moan out of the swordsman that only caused Xanxus pushed him onto the bed and lumbered over him.

"Don't talk shit. But your younger self did make some promises I plan to continue now."

Xanxus said as he undid the buttons on Squalo's shirt, feeling the pressure in his pants growing.

"L-like?" Squalo asked. Unable to be patient enough to individually undo each button, Xanxus ripped the shirt apart, popping most the buttons off. "THAT WAS FREAKING ARMANI YOU JACKASS! FROM MY MONEY!"

"Oy, shut it you bitch! You promised to be a dutiful bitch and allowed me to fuck you." Xanxus said as he loosened his tie. He yanked Squalo's pants down, ripping the belt in the process and he brought up his knee and rubbed it against Squalo's groin, causing the sliver-haired male to arch his back in response. His cheeks flushed as Xanxus kept doing it and he replaced his knee with his hand and trailed it up to Squalo's left nipple, tweaking it roughly.

"Nnnf! Fuck that still hurts!" Squalo complained as Xanxus continued pressing his thumb against the erect nipples and pulled at it slightly. Squalo turned to look at Xanxus in a haze of anger, confusion and want and in response Xanxus smirked slightly. The grey eyes never changed, and the emotions visible in them were always transparent for the Varia boss, and maybe the man did know a lot more about his Squalo than anyone else did.

So fucking cute. Xanxus thought, somewhere deep in his mind as he saw the tent forming in Squalo's low rise boxers. He squeezed the seat of Squalo's pants quickly—and liked how the other gasped—before pulling the boxers off and throwing it away somewhere behind him. He eyed the half-hard penis before grinding his own hips against Squalo.

"Ahh damnit Xanxus, just start!" Squalo cried as he arched his back again.

"Who's being so fucking impatient now, huh scum?" Xanxus asked as he kept rocking his hips against Squalo's erection and it wasn't until Squalo was breathing faster and that his erection was now totally hard did Xanxus stop. His own needs were growing as his member pressed against the black pants. "Get the fucking lube out at least." Xanxus hated lube, he hated the extra time wasted but at times Squalo could be so unbearably tight that it was impossible to stay inside him. The silver-haired man scooted away and reached over to the side table to get the lube out.

Leave it to Squalo to know where it is. Xanxus thought as he watched his partner bend over. His penis began to throb and so as soon as Squalo grabbed hold of the bottle, Xanxus grabbed the man by the waist and dragged him back. The red eyes shone as he grabbed the bottle from Squalo's prosthetic hand and shakily opened it. Xanxus quickly coated his fingers with it and without hesitation plunged his middle finger inside Squalo's hole.

"Mmmffuck!" Squalo cried as he bit into a pillow. Xanxus found his finger sliding smoothly and so he didn't hesitate to slip another digit inside and Squalo jerked as his muscles tightened around the two fingers. Xanxus thrust them in and out as Squalo began to fist his own member, panting. He stopped immediately as the third finger entered him but he slowly got used to the rythmn. "VOOIII WOULD YOU FUCKING ENTER ME ALREADY?"

Normally Xanxus would've probably smacked Squalo but he couldn't do it. I'll just get him real bad next time. The cruel boss thought as he yanked his fingers out with a schlip of suction. They had probably had sex more than the many shoes Xanxus owned—and he owned a lot—but the pleasure and the tension stayed the same, the Varia boss could say that Squalo became much more better to fuck with as they grew, but he could say it, not like he'd ever. "Trash should stay quiet and be dealt with properly by those who can." Xanxus said as he slapped Squalo's butt cheek. Yet he complied as he spurted lube onto his throbbing penis. He then placed both his tanned hands on Squalo's paler ass and spread the cheeks. Positioning himself, he pressed against the hole until he pushed in, letting out a sigh.

"Unnghh fuck Squalo." Xanxus groaned as he squeezed Squalo's ass with his hands, leaving marks where his nails dug in. After the rush of adrenaline settled a little, Xanxus began to thrust quickly, wanting to exploit everything Squalo could offer him. He could hear the other panting slightly but only was able to see the scarred back of his rain Guardian, a back that would have stayed unscarred had Xanxus not made everyone participate in the battle for the rings. Squalo rested his head against the smooth blanket as he stroked himself. Xanxus leaned forward, pushing in deeper as he pressed his back against Squalo's. He pushed the other's hands away and began to stroke Squalo himself.

"Guhhh Xanxus don't!" Squalo protested as Xanxus thumbed the tip, moving in the same motion as he thrust in and out of his man.

"Don't act all modest and virgin-like now you bitch." Xanxus growled as he squeezed Squalo. He turned the other around so they could stare at each other. Grey met crimson as both of them moved rhythmically to Xanxus' thrusting. Squalo broke the eye contact first as he looked to the side, shutting his eyes tightly. Xanxus bent down as he nipped at Squalo's neck.

"Ah shit Xanxus!" Squalo cried as he instinctively clutched at the larger man's wrists which moved to be on either side of Squalo's shoulders. "There! Again!" Xanxus knew without asking that he had managed to hit the spot that made Squalo willing enough to be penetrated so frequently by the other. So Xanxus pulled back a little before plunging in again, this time to the hilt and the cry from Squalo was almost enough to make the man come, almost. Both their breathing had become hitched and uneven as Xanxus kept thrusting into the same spot, and unable to take the fact that his boss was not only thrusting into him but stroking him and sucking on his shoulder blade, Squalo came with a shudder. Xanxus shook his hand where the semen landed and wiped it on Squalo's thigh as he thrust quickly, enjoying Squalo riding out his orgasm.

A few minutes later—painful minutes for Squalo since his own pleasure was dimming down—Xanxus came and filled the inside of the silver-haired man. He pulled out slowly, milky cum trailing along with him and fell on top of his partner.

"Ooomphf! You're too heavy Xanxus!" Squalo protested as he pushed the other man off. Although he was slightly sore, Squalo pulled his hair together in a loose knot and slid out of the bed.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Xanxus asked as he sat up slightly. Squalo wordlessly pointed to the washroom. "I need to take a bath too."

"And brush okay, or I'm going back to my room." Squalo said as he opened the bathroom door.

"Naked?" Xanxus asked as he proceed to rip Squalo's shirt further and shred his pants.

"Fuck you." Squalo muttered and Xanxus chuckled as he followed the swordsman into the washroom, where unfortunately for Squalo, round two occurred.

"Ey-hey, hey Squalo." Xanxus muttered but the naked Squalo only mumbled something incoherent as he tightened the grip of his leg wrapped around Xanxus. Before Squalo would have usually gone back to his room but one day, after a tiresome mission both had fallen asleep exhausted in the same bed. Xanxus had woken up earlier to find Squalo clinging on to him like a pillow and since then he didn't mind if the man stayed. "Oy, Squalo!" Xanxus said again.

"Mmfloo." Squalo said as he nuzzled his cheek against Xanxus' chest. Xanxus sighed as he laid his head back on the pillow.

"Why is it so hard to wake you?" Xanxus asked. He could easily have pushed Squalo away but wasn't in the mood to deal with Squalo's horrible attitude if he did.

"Magical…mmmalways…healer…hmmm." Squalo hummed as he scratched his chest. Xanxus looked at Squalo in surprise.

"So the angelshark does remember doesn't he? Lying bitch. OY BITCH WAKE UP!" Squalo sat up straight in response.

"Mister Xanxus!" He exclaimed, still in his own dream. He turned to Xanxus who looked at him with an incredulous expression but Squalo smiled warmly. Xanxus blinked in surprise, that smile was something he hadn't seen in so long, the same smile that the five-year old displayed the night before. Before Xanxus could say anything Squalo slumped back into the bed and was fast asleep. Xanxus angrily kicked at Squalo, sending him onto the floor.

"Happy twenty-sixth birthday you fucked up piece of scummy shit." Xanxus said, this time when Squalo sat up he was fully awake and steaming. Xanxus turned around and went towards his large walk-in closet.

"FUCK YOU!" He yelled as he stood up. He got hit in the face with a parcel and looked down to where the parcel fell to see a shirt, a dark blue Armani shirt. "Like fuck I'm going to fit in your clothing."

"Would you quit being such a whiny fag and wear it?" Xanxus said tiredly. Squalo huffed as he took the shirt out of the package, slipping it on and buttoning up. He walked to Xanxus' closet where a large wall-sized mirror was placed.

"Oh." Squalo said lightly, the shirt fit him exactly and the swordsman knew it was his, a custom-tailored shirt for him.

"So quit being such a fucking unappreciative ass." He said frowning as he shook his finger slightly before sucking on it. He accidentally cut his finger in his closet—if only he could find the source—and even if he wasn't bleeding much, he didn't like the irritating feeling.

Squalo turned to his boss and grinned cheekily. "Should I heal that with my magic?" He asked as he waggled his fingers.

"Oh shut the fuck up." Xanxus said as he watched Squalo grab Xanxus' pants from last night and slip them on, unable to find the belt he held onto them tight as he opened the door and slipped out.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUALO!" Voices yelled from the other side.

"VOOIII DON'T FUCKING ATTACK ME! BEL LET GO OF ME, I HAVE TO FUCKING STRANGLE YOU! LUSSURI-ACK FUCK LET GO!" Squalo yelled and Xanxus stormed over to the door, not caring that he was in his birthday suit and swung his door open. Everyone froze as they turned to their boss. Lussuria had grabbed Squalo's cheeks and was about to kiss the other's head, where a party crown was placed crudely, courtesy of Bel and Mammon and Levi stood there with a camera.

"B-boss." Levi stammered as they took in the naked glory of the man that controlled them.

"Get some pants at least." Squalo muttered as he tried to hold on to the pair he was wearing. Xanxus looked at each of them before going back to looking at Squalo.

"I'm not done giving my present yet you scum." Xanxus said to the others as he yanked Squalo away from them and shut the door.

"Boo." Lussuria mumbled. "Who's going to try the feather headdress?"

If you have read up to this without gouging your eyes out or leaving to go puke in to your toilet all the contents of what you just ate, I thank you from the bottom of the small puny heart I own.

PLEASE Read & Review amigos. Tell me what I can improve on or whether it was worth the read.

and please stay tuned for my collaborative XS fic "He Doesn't Love you" with olly-sshi coming soon!