Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

(The song mentioned in this chapter is Animals by Nickelback)

Interviewer- I'm sitting here with non other than the real Lost Boys, a.k.a., Marko, Paul, and Dwayne. David is MIA at the moment for reasons unknown, and the boys here have asked that I keep my name anonymous.

(Small snickers and chuckles come from the sitting boys, except for Paul who is lost in the music of an I-pod and continuously bangs his hands on his knees. Marko slouches deeper into the couch where he and Paul sit and tries to cover his smile, and Dwayne sits rather coolly on the footstool of a chair across from the other two.)

Interviewer- So, I hate to be the butt of an inside joke, but why the anonymity? I mean almost everyone in the world knows who you are by now.

Dwayne- Just because they know about us doesn't mean they can find us. We try to keep our whereabouts, low key.

Interviewer- But you obviously have some contacts, or otherwise I wouldn't have been able to track you down.

Dwayne- (Chuckles deep, almost menacingly) You're a lucky girl. Trust me, if we didn't want you to find us, you wouldn't have.

(Marko gives his famous Cheshire cat smile and raises a hand to his mouth to bite at his nails. Paul stares straight forward still rocking to the tune of some beat as he mouths the words)

Interviewer-Well they call you the dark broody one that doesn't talk a lot, but so far, you've said the most. Do you think that's profiling? Have you read any of the fan fiction that's out there?

Marko-Yes. They say he never smiles. That's just based on the movie, but if you notice, he smiles quite a bit in it.

Paul- (Singing) I, I'm driving black an black, just got my license back, I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track…

(Marko reaches up and yanks the I-pod away and throws it into Paul's lap with a glare. The music can still be heard screeching through the headphones. I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride, because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight.)

Paul- What the hell man? I've been waiting all night to hear that one.

Interviewer- (Blushes, smiles) Good song. Do you like all of Nickelback's music?

Paul-(Looks around as if he's just noticed that there's another person in the room besides the three of them) Wha? Who? Oh…shit ya man. Most of their stuff rocks, that song has to be one of the best though. (Leans into Marko and whispers) What's she doing here?

Dwayne- We're being interviewed, dumb ass. Why do you think we're here?

Paul- Oh, shit man. (Looks towards the interviewer) Ask away. This is a nice place…hey, can I call you Trish?

Interviewer-Uh…(Looks into his eyes) Sure…Wow, you have really blue eyes. (Her mouth hangs slightly open and she stares silently)

Marko- (Jabs Paul in the ribs and growls) Stop it!

Paul- Christ! What?

Marko- You're putting her in a trance man.

Paul- Well, I can't help it, I'm starving, and she fucking smells good enough to eat.

Dwayne- (Reaches forward and snaps his fingers in front of the girls face) Wake up sweetheart.

Trish- (Shakes her head and reaches down to pick up her pen that has just fallen from her fingers) Wow, that was weird. I feel like I just stepped off planet Earth for a second there. You guys all have amazing eyes.

Dwayne- Ya, if David were here he'd probably apologize in some egotistic way. It's probably best if you don't look Paul directly in the eyes right now.

Trish- Oh really. Why's that? Are you trying to tell me that that whole vampire hypnosis deal actually works?

Paul- (Rocks back and fourth smiling) Like a charm, babe.

Trish- Well, I'll definitely remember that. So, let's continue shall we. Where were we? Oh ya, let's talk about the fan fiction a bit more before we go on to the movie since we've touched on it already. It sounds like you guys have taken a peak at it. What do you think? Or does it even matter?

Marko-Where to begin…(Big eye roll)

Paul- Hey, at least we get laid. Not that I have any issues with that anyway.

Trish- (Small laugh) Well I'd have to admit that I think you guys are the hottest vampires ever to grace the silver screen.

Dwayne- Ya but it's the situations we're put in that drive me nuts. Most of the time we're turned into simpering pussies with no balls and they've got Marko reciting sonnets.

Marko- Ya, I don't pay attention to it much honestly. I think most of the girly girls out there would shit their pants if they actually ran across the real thing.

Trish- I've heard you referred to as the 'little one' a lot. Does that bother you at all?

Marko- (brushes it off) Not in the least. I think we all have our fair share of nicknames.

Paul- At least we have decent fans for the most part though. That new rage for Twilight shit makes me want to hop in a time machine and go back to the 80's. Man, you think we're killers? Get between a Twi-freak and her Bedward. That's some scary shit. It's like the Exorcist.

Dwayne- Who the hell gave that bitch the idea that vampires sparkle?

Marko- She dreamt it. She's completely whack.

Trish- Can't say I'm a fan of it myself, but aside from that, do you guys have any girlfriends…relationships?

Paul- Why, you looking for a date? (Eyes her up and down)

Marko- Shit Paul, grow up.

Paul- Hell to the no, brother! She's hot, dude, look at her.

Marko- (Elbows Paul again) It is true what they say about him being a horn dog. We haven't fed yet tonight so he's thinking out loud with his dick instead of his brain.

Dwayne- (Smiles and coughs) The answer is no. No girls. Maybe toys, but nothing serious, they always end up dead.

Marko- (Leans forward) Well, we're undead, not dead. Usually if I think I have a thing for a girl that might go past the instinctual need of fuck and feed I'll just walk away. It's nothing like all those fan fic stories where we have a long lost soul mate, yada yada. I think the longest I've kept a chic around has been about a week.

Paul- Well shit, you can only give and take for so long.

Trish-What do you mean?

Paul- Well if I'm with a girl and she's puttin' out, at the same time I'm slowly draining her dry. It doesn't take long for them to lose their mind because they can't stay away from the rush it gives them, you know. It's like a drug and it just eats away at their life. You have to kill them in the end.

Trish- So what about your human ties? You're contacts. How do they survive?

Marko- It goes beyond the movie and fan fiction, it's real. It's almost like Peter Pan, they sort of call out to us. I don't know how to explain it, but David is the one who always finds them. We don't feed from them. It's like there's a barrier of safety there.

Trish- So, you don't ever turn them? What happens if say, you were to fall for one of them?

Paul- (Laughs) Forbidden fruit, mama.

Marko- No comment. Let's just say that it's better for everyone when we stay away from that whole deal.

Trish- Well yes, but what if you did happen to find someone. Would you turn them?

Dwayne- A lot of people would say it's up to David, but it's really a pack decision if we find another we might consider adding to the group, because the blood bonds all of us together. We're linked eternally.

Trish- So aside from girls where blood is concerned, are there any other foods you prefer? I know in the movie you all ate Chinese, or did you really eat it? And how does that work? I thought vampires couldn't eat real food because your organs don't function.

Paul- What the fuck? Who said that? (Looks down at his crotch) You mean they're saying there's something wrong with my schlong?

Trish- Well, I meant more…internally.

Marko- (Eyes Paul) He's a freak. But ya, if we've fed we can eat. The blood acts like a dissolvent. It sort of breaks down the food and absorbs it into our system, which is one of the reasons why we don't have to use the bathroom. (Looks around with slight disgust) Can we change the subject? I feel like I'm suddenly getting too familiar with myself.

Trish- Sure. I didn't mean to go into depths like that, I was just curious to know if you had any favorite foods or if the cravings you had as humans have completely gone away.

Paul- Munchies…I get the munchies…bad. Dorritos, Cheetos, Funions, Hot dog on a stick, fruit roll-ups, Twix, sour patch kids. The list goes on sweets. I'm a big burrito fan myself.

Marko- He'd probably eat garbage if he was high enough.

Paul- I would not!

Trish- (Raises an eyebrow) Okay. Dwayne? What about you?

Dwayne- I'd take a steak, rare. Mashed potatoes on the side, maybe some cherry pie.

Trish- Sounds good. Marko, how bout you?

Marko- (Sighs) Hell, I don't know. Pizza is good I guess. French fries. David is the one who likes Chinese, that's no lie. Cheetos are good too. I noticed some writer figured that one out. But I wouldn't say I crave it. Sometimes we'll eat just to blend in.

Paul- (Suddenly frowns) Why do you want to know all this? I don't want no dam book written about me. I like my privacy.

Trish- That's almost a cliché, considering how many fan girls are out there right now dreaming about you. But don't worry, this is just going up on the web. I don't plan on giving anyone a way to contact you.

Dwayne- You can imagine how hard it is sometimes, shutting out all those voices.

Trish- I bet. Are you ever tempted to answer one? You know, maybe go play around with someone's head. Show your true self?

Paul- Haha, now you're talking! I can't say I haven't done it a couple times. It's fun. Makes the regular folk question their sanity. And the ones that really do believe, hell, that's a trip all in itself.

Trish- (Smiles evilly and bites her bottom lip) I have to be honest with ya, I would if I were in your position.

Paul- (Looks at Dwayne) I think I like this one.

Marko- You like anything with boobs.

Paul- Oh ya? Well you like anything that's short!

Marko- What are you seven?

Dwayne- Would you two just shut the fuck up? (Pauses) Hey, I think David is close. Should we wait for him to continue?

Trish- Uh, sure. Why don't we take a break. Maybe you guys can go do…whatever it is you do and I'm going to grab a snack.

Paul- That's what we're gona do babe, grab a snack. (Gets up with the girl and puts an arm around her shoulders)

Trish-(Slowly and carefully takes Paul's arm off) Well…would you object to having some fans call in and ask their questions?

Marko-Are we on radio now or something?

Trish- I have a little set up here. Actually I'll just have them email their stuff to me while we're on break. How's that?

Dwayne- It's your show man.

(Marko gets up with Dwayne and they head for the door. Paul lingers behind)

Paul- You sure you don't want to come? You'd get the thrill of the kill right in your face.

Trish-(Smiles politely) And lose my appetite? No thanks. Let's say we meet back here in an hour?

Dwayne-(Nods) Sounds good.

(The three of them exit)