Note: This would probably take place not long after the final disc of FF7, when the city of Edge is just being built. And while Meteor still destroyed Midgar, Aeris did not die. BTW, Cleris fans who see the pairing in a pure, chaste light should know that this is a love scene, and it gets pretty descriptive. Consider yourselves warned if you choose to read on.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Ghost Between
Her eyes pop open in the night, alert at once.
She finds herself looking up at the ceiling of the new inn they're staying at, hears the pitter-patter of rain beating lightly on top of the roof, but that is not what has awakened her.
Someone else is in the room.
Before she can draw breath to scream, a hand slams down over her mouth, and she is staring into the dark figure that is standing over her bedside. Lightning flashes from the window, outlining for just a split second the features of the man, his seemingly ash-blond hair dripping water onto the floor, the eyes that have an eerie glow to them, and the wolf stud glittering in his left ear.
The mattress dips as he sits down on the bed, and she inhales sharply, her furiously galloping heart pounding harder still under her ribs. A strong scent assaults her senses, the smell of wet leather and clothing, travel, and…him.
He's back.
"Cloud."
The word is muffled against his cold glove.
He suddenly removes his hand from her mouth just as his head comes down, and she is immediately caught in the heat of a blistering hot kiss. This instant fire that ignites and flares between them with just a word, a glance, or a touch, to rage like wildfire, scorching everything in its path—it burns within and without them both. So passionate and undeniable. Eternal. Inextinguishable, try as he might to put it out.
The first real kiss he's ever given her.
She's waited a lifetime for this—for him.
She's always been the one who seeks him out. Who enters his room late at night and climbs into his bed. Needing him just to hold her. Needing to hold him.
Working her hands into his wet hair, she glories now in this reversal of events, indulging in his kiss, responding to him with more ardor than ever before, even as she wonders what happened to him earlier tonight. He feels different somehow. Usually, it's as if he's carrying an extra weight around with him. As if there's someone else in the room with them. But this moment is far too special and too good to pass up on.
She moans softly as he delves possessively into her mouth, to plunder, to conquer, to claim, and she yields eagerly to him. He presses her into the bed, dampening the covers and her own clothing and skin wherever their bodies make contact, but she barely feels the cold wetness on her hot flesh.
And then she can't think anymore.
"What happened?" she asks when their lips finally part, and her brain slowly begins to function once more. "Where did you go?"
"Out."
She smiles at his typical monosyllabic answer.
"To see an old friend."
"Oh?" Aside from his eyes, she can just make out the rest of his features as she combs her fingers through his drenched hair, trails them down his face.
He nods silently, his eyes on her face, watching her intently, able to see her clearly with his far superior vision.
She traces her fingertips gently over a sculpted cheekbone and down the line of his jaw. His skin feels cold, yet very warm to the touch. "You should change into some dry clothes."
He gives a small shake of his head. At his refusal, she tightens her arms around him and drags him down to lie on top of her, holding him against the heat of her own body. He lets her have her way for a short while, but all too soon lifts off of her to sit up, looking down at her in the dark.
"I thought you went out to fight monsters again." She sits up with him, draws her legs back against her chest, and moves in to lean her head upon his shoulder as she lets her hands wander over him. His clothes are completely soaked but she nuzzles closer, inhales deeply. "I smell it on your uniform."
"I got caught in a few battles," he admits as he pulls his gloves off and places them on the bedside table. A bare hand burrows into the chestnut curls spilling down over her shoulders while the other draws slow circles on her back, sending delicious tingles up and down her spine and all over her body. "Forgot to take 'enemy lure' off my sword and didn't realize it for some time. Couldn't get away."
"Ah." She chuckles softly against his shirt.
They fall silent and she slips into her own thoughts.
He hadn't been out to look for random battles again. To search for an outlet. To battle the demons. The guilt.
That was a good sign, wasn't it?
And he's here.
He's never come to her room before.
A roll of thunder sounds right over their heads and rain pounds harder on the roof, and she shivers, automatically reaching her arms up to encircle his neck, and scooting even closer to him as she imagines him fighting out there under such harsh weather conditions. She tucks her head more firmly against his shoulder so that her face is pressing into the curve of his neck, and she can feel and hear the pulse beating at the base of his throat as if it's her own.
This nearness with him, his body against hers, being in his arms, she finds in it a simplicity and sense of belonging that feel rooted deeply inside of her. A sense of being whole.
"Aeris?" His voice is nearly inaudible.
She lifts her head from his shoulder to look up at him. "Yes, Cloud?"
"Do you still…" he begins haltingly only to look away, leaving her to look at the side of his face. "Love Zack?"
Her eyes widen at the mention of that name, and she gazes wordlessly at him for several long seconds.
"Zack…is gone," she says carefully, and smiles sadly, remembering her first boyfriend. "And he was my first love. A part of me will always love him. But we were young. Too young to know or understand what love really is. What it can really be like. It was a simpler, more innocent form of love that ended before it really had a chance to begin. It wasn't meant to last. Most first loves aren't."
"If he hadn't died, though," he counters softly, staring down at his pants in the darkness. "If he'd come back. What then?"
"It wouldn't have changed anything." Her thoughts drift inward as she recalls the tall, handsome young SOLDIER she'd once been in love with. Laughing, happy, carefree. Their time together had been short but sweet. She'd waited for him for years after he'd left. But time and distance had done their work, and she'd learn to reconcile herself to what had happened and move on. "Even if he'd come back, the end result would still be the same. We wouldn't be together now."
"You don't know that for certain."
"But I do," she states matter-of-factly. "I feel it here." She slips a hand between them and places it over her chest as she tries to find the words to explain it to him. "He and I would've probably continued seeing one another for a bit longer, but there is no doubt in my mind we would've grown up and away from each other eventually. What did happen to him merely rushed what was inevitable. I'm not the same girl he knew, and he wouldn't have been the same boy I'd fallen in love with. Our experiences in life would've changed us both, and we would've been different people, with different views and opinions. Different expectations of the world and of each other." She pauses briefly, wondering how much he's ready to hear, and decides to just speak the truth that's in her heart. "My first relationship paved the way for our meeting and prepared me for what was to come.
"You." She studies the profile of the blond man before her now. He is not one for words. Or laughter. She can count on one hand the number of times he's laughed since they've met. Quiet, shy, solemn. Delicate. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders as well as his own. So different from her first love. Warmth blossoms in her chest. He is beautiful. "You're the one I love now. And I wouldn't change it for anything in the world."
"We haven't known each other for very long," he points out. "Not even as long as you knew Zack."
"True." She looks thoughtfully at him. "We've only known each other for a few months. But I know you. You're inside of me in a way like no one else has ever been before. Distance, time, death, none of that means anything when it comes to my feelings for you. What's between us can't be compared to my relationship with Zack. The two are not the same at all. My first experience with love was exactly that—light and simple, uncomplicated, a girl's first brush with love."
He is silent.
"Cloud."
His eyes slowly lift up to meet hers.
"I don't have any regrets for anything that's happened. Because everything has led to you. To this moment," she says earnestly. "I wish he could've lived but I believe that if Zack were here right now, he'd be happy for me that I've met someone else. Just as I'd be happy for him if he'd met another girl."
Strange how she thinks she can see the blue of his eyes here in the dark.
"I think you're right." There is a slight hesitation before he continues, his eyes trained on her face. "I visited the place he died at."
So that was where he went.
Her chest tightens painfully at the thought of him out there, in the cold and the rain, visiting his friend's grave all alone at night. Seeking redemption. Some form of absolution, vindication, or merely validation even. He still doesn't understand that there had never been anything to forgive.
"I had to talk to him. Tell him I'm sorry. Thank him. And explain about you." His voice is low, thoughtful. She'd been right but she wishes she hadn't been. "I wanted to ask him for his forgiveness and his blessing even though it's so wrong on so many levels to even want it but… Zack was my best friend. And I just needed him to know. I hadn't wanted it. But it happened. I didn't mean to betray him."
Her nails are digging deep crescents into the hard muscles of his arms, and she forces herself to relax her grip on him before she draws blood. It hurts to hear him describe their relationship in such terms even though she's always known he feels this way. He's never made any secret of it. He keeps trying to fight what she sees as destined to be.
What they have is so beautiful and so pure. So right.
There had been no betrayal.
Not on either of their parts.
"What did he say?" she asks in an aching whisper and holds her breath, her body unbearably taut as she waits for his answer. Her heart is thudding painfully hard but she can't push him. It is something he needs to realize for himself.
"I believe he's happy for me. For you. For us." At his words, hot tears sting her eyes, and she can breathe again. "He understands. He told me there is nothing to feel guilty about." Her heart stops as he smiles at her, that small but so incredibly endearing smile of his that she would give anything just to see a bit more often.
He leans forward and their lips meet. Softly, sweetly, wholeheartedly. Her head falls back as he kisses her gently, and she strokes his pale hair, brushes the damp spikes back from his face.
This is what's different about him tonight: the guilt, the burden, it's gone. He's…free. And that's why he's here. He can be the one to come to her now. He can finally accept what she offers to him, and give himself to her now as well.
Completely.
He's made his peace with the past.
"Cloud," she whispers his name, a soft benediction. Touches his cheek with fingers that have longed for this very release for him as his head comes up, breaking their kiss. From the moment he'd bought her flower, and the first time their eyes met, there had been an instant connection, a recognition, that had rocked her to her core. She'd noticed the similarities to her previous boyfriend, but she'd also seen him. The first touch of their hands, the first feel of one another's lips, all of that had only served to further reinforce the notion of what, or who, he really was to her.
"I love you. So much."
His reply is to bring her fully against him and another kiss as his tongue sweeps into her mouth, almost tentatively this time, as if testing his welcome there or asking her permission. She draws him in, returning his kiss with a fervor that has him squeezing her harder, and she feels, more than hears, the low growl he makes in the back of his throat. Her toes curl and her scalp tightens at the sound, and he plunges deeper into her mouth, stroking inside her with more confidence and possessiveness, and what had started out as a slow, soft kiss suddenly explodes into much more.
Desire stirs in her belly and red-hot flames lick at every inch of her flesh, and she rubs herself feverishly against him, helpless little moans escaping out of her. His hands skim over her as her own caress every part of him she can reach. Her body, so susceptible and responsive to his in a way she'd never suspected it capable of being, is on fire when he finally pulls away to slip her thin nightdress up over her head. She hears him inhale sharply as it's thrown to the side, then her underwear is following it down to the floor. But his touch doesn't come. She waits, her lust-fogged mind slowly clearing as she kneels naked before him on the bed in heart-pounding, agonizing suspense. Waiting for him to do what he always does before things get too far.
"Don't," she whispers. A plea. "Don't stop. Not tonight."
She is burning everywhere, hotter than ever, ruthlessly ensnared in the heat of this all-consuming and uncompromising passion that rages between them. Before he can answer, she reaches out, yanks the suspenders on his SOLDIER uniform down. Quickly swinging her legs to the floor, she pulls him up with her and helps to divest him of his clothing with shaking hands, struggling with his wet shirt that is clinging stubbornly to his skin, fumbling with his belt, and getting his pants caught on the boots she's forgotten to remove first. She finally works them off and moves onto his boxers as occasional flashes of light from the window light up the room, enabling her to pick out the details of his hard, lean body here and there, and she stares at him, her own body aching with need. As the last of his clothes is discarded, she takes his hand to lead him back to the bed with her where he comes down over her and presses her back into the pillow. She watches breathlessly, whimpers encouragingly as he dips his head to her breasts to nip and tease and suckle her, and her mind promptly shuts down again.
Nothing else exists for her as he tortures her with his hands, mouth, and body, reducing her to a state of senseless sobbing and her body to a mass of quivering electrified nerves, but withholding from her what she needs the most. He fills his hands with her flesh, cupping her bottom, squeezing her waist, kneading the soft swells of her breasts, his breath rasping harshly against her mouth, her throat, her chest. Her legs are sliding up and down his, twining them together, her hands are moving demandingly across his back, and she is twisting and writhing beneath him in sweet torment.
"Please," she begs raggedly, her back curving into a bow, arching into him, urging him to take what is his.
"Aeris."
He levers up onto his elbows as she grabs his shoulders, holding him imprisoned above her, should he change his mind again. She focuses glazed eyes on him, the thought slowly piercing through the thick, sensual haze swamping her that she can see him more plainly now, see the clenched jaw, the facial muscles taut with desire, the eyes glowing like never before. His eyes locked with hers, he positions himself, and she gasps as she feels him at her entrance. He slips inside of her, pushing through tight flesh, and she can't prevent a whimper at the sudden stretching and pain as he presses forward. Then he is sliding deep into her body, and straight into her heart and soul.
Filling her so completely there is no room for anyone or anything else.
It is more than just right.
It is perfect. He is perfect.
They are perfect together.
"Cloud."
"I'm sorry," he says harshly as he holds still above her.
"No." She shakes her head, clutching him tightly to her despite the pain that is already receding. "I wanted it. I want you."
This joining of their bodies is the ultimate and final union that they've been unconsciously seeking and working toward since before they even met. He has always been inside of her, and now he is physically a part of her as well. She feels him, hard and heavy, straining against her tight walls, touching nerve endings she hadn't even known were there, and she moans, unable to believe the sensations he's causing just by being inside her.
"I've always wanted you." Emotion clogs her voice but she swallows hard, and says with deep conviction. "This is the way it was always meant to be. You and I. Together like this."
"Aeris."
"I love you, Cloud."
He eases out slightly and gently glides back in, and she gasps as the friction against her sensitive tissues makes her muscles spasm and squeeze even tighter about him.
She lets out a ragged moan and he does it again, and she suddenly finds herself fighting for air, her back coming off the bed, her head thrashing on the pillow. Hip to hip once more, he stills again. Her breath shudders, the feel of him inside her so sublime, the pleasure so intense, every muscle in her body is reacting to it, and she gives a hard jerk against him. Trembling all over, she tilts her hips up, offers herself to him.
"I want you."
He begins moving slowly, carefully, in and out of her. It is a bit awkward at first but in no time at all, their bodies are meeting and moving together as if they are old lovers who have done this a hundred times before. She brings her legs up to wrap around his waist as he drives into her heat with steady, rhythmic strokes, rocking the bed with the force of his thrusts, rocking her, and she cries out her love for him every time they come together.
His mouth captures hers again as his tongue imitates the act of love occurring down below, of entering and withdrawing, over and over, and she surrenders herself to him, giving everything to him as he gives everything of himself in return. Strong hands tangle in her hair, holding her head as securely to his as her arms and legs are keeping their bodies bound together. Tearing his mouth from hers, he slides one hand over the curve of her hip, angles her, and she cries out as he penetrates deeper. Her inner muscles contract so fiercely around him, she feels him tense further against her, hears him hiss her name. She can't help it. She grips him even harder, wrenching a long, low groan out of him. Her hips lift higher toward him, and she digs her nails into the muscles of his back, feeling them flex and relax with each movement of his hips.
Amid the sounds of lovemaking, her soft whimpers and breathless cries, their gasps and groans, she hears another sound and vaguely realizes it's coming from the roof. Outside, the rain is picking up again as inside, their undulating bodies echo the fury of the storm then surpass it, meeting faster and harder, their coupling so hot and steamy, the room has become stuffy, and their bodies are slippery with sweat.
His strokes are coming in faster, deeper, frantic now. She pants desperately, heaving, straining underneath him. It's about to happen. She feels it. Senses it.
She wants him with her.
"Cloud!"
As the first waves begin, she tightens and clenches wildly about him, and he lets out a tortured groan. He rams forward as she slams her hips up, and her lungs suddenly seize; a choked sob breaks out of her throat, then she is shattering. She feels him stiffen against her as her orgasm rips through her belly, and her entire body is racked by painful spasms that threaten to snap her rigid back in half. The two of them remain arched together for a flaming suspended moment that seems to last for an eternity, as their souls fuse, becoming one entity, just as their bodies have melded together into one, and she digs her nails deeper into his lower back, keeping them locked together while she shudders uncontrollably under him.
The agonizing tension and relentless contractions ease enough for her to try to suck in air, and she collapses back down onto the bed, barely aware of him pressing her into the mattress as they both continue to writhe and jerk together.
He groans and sinks weakly down onto her, and she whispers his name as she holds him to her, willingly taking his weight.
It is done.
They are joined, irrevocably and absolutely. In every way.
For a long time, there is nothing but the sound of their heavy breathing and the hailstones pelting down on top of the house. Spent and sated beyond exhaustion, her body feeling utterly boneless, it is all she can do just to keep holding him as she lies with her face buried in his hair, breathing deeply of his musky scent, while their bodies cool and their heartbeats slowly return to normal.
He finally moves to get off of her but she tightens her limbs around him, following him, and they both end up lying on their sides, arms and legs so entangled, it is difficult to tell what belongs to whom, or where one leaves off and the other begins.
She curls herself more closely against him so that she is resting more on top of him than beside him, and lets out a deep sigh of contentment. Turning her head into his shoulder, she presses her lips to his warm skin.
"I love you."
She sucks in her breath and slowly, cautiously lifts her head up to look at him, unsure if she's heard correctly.
"I do." His eyes are glowing brighter than before and she realizes something else. She can make out their stunning blue color, even here in the dark. "I always have."
Tears burn behind her eyelids and she nods her head in silent acknowledgment.
He's never been able to say those words before.
She leans down to touch her lips to his gently, kissing him tenderly, letting her kiss tell him all he is to her.
Laying her head back down on his chest, she listens to the steady beating of his heart under her ear. He wouldn't even be here with her at all if not for the former SOLDIER they'd both known and cared for. In more ways than one.
Her love for him knows no bounds or equal, but she would never underestimate the love of a deep and abiding friendship. After all, it is just that kind of love that's brought her to this.
Zack, she whispers in her head, glad to be able to bid him farewell at last. Thank you.
He's given her this. He's given them this. This opportunity to be together with no recriminations, no regrets, and no shame. He made the greatest sacrifice of all and gave his life for his best friend.
And now, he's set him free.
He's given her Cloud.