I don't own Naruto nor do I make money from it.

AN: This is a gift for the sweetheart blueh. This story was partly inspired by her picture reminiscing. I'll add a link to this picture on my user page for any that are interested. This is unbetaed. I love you, blueh. Also, please do not comment or flame the way I am warping the manga. This is set in the ninjaverse but it deviates from canon after the battle between Itachi and Sasuke. Any deviations from canon are intentional and because I like it better the way I wrote it. Otherwise, please enjoy.

Forgiveness

Chapter One

Bleary eyes blinked open, unable to focus. Everything seemed hazy, like a great fog engulfing his vision. Blinking again, he attempted to sit up. The motion sending waves of pain through his body, causing him to clench his teeth in agony. Only by willpower alone was he able to keep from crying out. He was, however, unable to prevent the whimper from escaping.

It was then, as his body cried, he realized what had happened. Sasuke! He'd battled his brother, thrown every trick at him. That fool, Orochimaru, thought to take over Sasuke but in one last act of love, Itachi sealed him away for good; removing the curse seal and with it, any power the snake had. Doing so wiped his body of ever ounce of chakra. His pathways were destroying, he wouldn't survive it. It was just as Itachi Uchiha wished. But why was he here? Why was he alive? He'd felt the emptiness that came from true chakra depletion. He should be dead.

"Welcome back to the living, Itachi-san."

Blinking several times in a futile attempt to clear his vision, he attempted to keep his face neutral. "Kisame?"

"You've been unconscious for almost a week. I've been treating your wounds as best I could."

"Why?"

"Well, you were as good as dead. Tobi…or rather Madara, didn't bother to check your pulse before he spirited your brother away. Honestly, if it was me fighting you; there would be no doubt of your death." Kisame grinned, bringing a bowl of broth to his lips.

Swallowing down the thin fish broth, Itachi collapsed on the rough pallet. His body was so weak, he could barely move. The thought of Kisame caring for him, turned his stomach. Not that it was Kisame, but just the thought of appearing so weak distressed him.

"Why are you here?" Itachi grimaced at the light from the fire. His eyes were still recovering from the over-use of the sharingan. At least, he hoped they were recovering.

"Hold your horses, I'm getting to it. Well, I don't like when there are hidden agendas and there are a lot of them in the Akatsuki. So I figured I could stay with you. Kills me to miss out on the fighting, though." Kisame had the good grace to look contrite.

"You didn't have to save me."

"Yeah, I did. I'll catch up on the fighting later. I may not trust most of the Akatsuki, but I trusted Pein-sama. That shit with Tobi don't sit well in my craw. The outside is calm but the depths are turbulent in Akatsuki now. Bad shit is about to happen." Kisame poke the fire with a stick, overturning the embers.

Itachi closed his eyes. Things were not how they were supposed to be. Sasuke was supposed to be the savior of their clan. He was supposed to redeem them in the eyes of Konoha. Instead, his mind was warped from the torture it endured from both himself and the fiend Orochimaru. Now, he was in the hands of a man even more twisted than the snake-like sannin.

A single tear leaked from his closed lids. Sasuke. Why do you allow yourself to be used by others? Can you not be your own man?

"Are you alright, Itachi-san?" Worry evident in Kisame's voice.

"No." he whispered.

~ * ~

The jostling of his body woke him from his fitful sleep. "Kisame…what are you doing?"

"I got us a horse and cart. We need to move. It's not safe to stay here. We need to find more permanent lodgings."

"Hn." Itachi snorted as he was lifted onto the cart.

"Yeah, yeah. I can see you will be riveting conversation."

"Leave me to rest, Kisame."

"Fine. Fine."

The sun peaked over the horizon, spreading pinks and purples across the lightening sky. Itachi paid it no mind. His thoughts remained on his mistakes, mistakes he would have to atone for. He'd hoped to make Sasuke his executioner. He wanted him to avenge their family, to renew the Uchiha clan. His failure only made his heart ache all the more.

His soul burned with self loathing, a constant bubbling of anguish. Death was the only way to ease his mind and soul. To take his own life was out of the question. Suicide would accomplish nothing. Sasuke would have to do it…but could he bear to stand before his brother once more.

Taking inventory of his injuries, he was certain it would be months or longer before he would be able to take on his brother once more. With Sasuke as he is, there would be little point. His death would be meaningless, another Uchiha left to rot. Madara would not allow him far from him. Itachi was sure Madara had plans for his brother.

His thoughts drifted back to his battle with Sasuke. Each blow he'd landed, each torturous vision he showed; they all chipped away a little more at his soul. Sasuke wasn't right. To allow such a monster to remain on this earth went against every bit of his conscience. Itachi felt his heart freeze. He would take care of the monster he'd created before offering himself to the village in penance.

Assumed death offered him a cover. First he would heal, then he would watch from the shadows as Madara once did. He would watch Sasuke. He would see what his little brother would do. The jinchuriki's determination to redeem Sasuke burned into his memory. He would entrust Sasuke to him for now. Perhaps he could do what Itachi was not able to. It was unlikely, he had a dark suspicion that he would be called on to put down his brother. Those were thoughts best left for later when his mind was not clouded with pain.

Allowing the sway of the cart to lull him, he drifted into oblivion. His body hurt but his mind was too exhausted from its turmoil to face what he knew needed to be faced. The dread coursing through him at the mental thought of killing Sasuke, killing the little brother who doted on him. He'd become a monster for his brother and in turn created a monster.

Dreams of the past, of happier days, were lost amidst the crushing guilt of what he'd done. He screamed at the sight of his beautiful mother lying dead in a pool of her own blood. She'd attempted to defend his fallen father and in turn was struck down. He screamed only in his mind as his blade sliced through them one by one. Uncles, aunts, cousins; they all fell before him…all but one. Sasuke.

The absolute fear in his brother's eyes made him question his decision for a split second. To save the village from war, he struck a deal with the devil. It was ironic that now that devil was seeking to destroy the world, to rebuild it from the ashes in his image. A false peace loomed on the horizon, yet Itachi could do no more than stand on the outside looking in.

His dream shifted as all dreams do. Before him lay the world, villages a battleground of chaos; the exact thing he'd hoped to prevent. Walking through the horror, he found himself staring at his worst nightmare. On the ground before him lay his brother, his body broken almost beyond recognition. Tears of red streamed from his eyes as he looked into the gouged out orifices of Sasuke's eye sockets and then at his own hands in which rest his brother's eyes.

"No!" His eyes shot open, seeing only the fading sun in the distance.

"Evening." Grinned his partner, sharpened teeth gleaming in the fading light.

"I slept the entire day?"

"That you did. You're body is still very deprived of chakra. All I was able to get in you while you were comatose was a little broth. Now that you're awake, you'll probably rebuild it much faster." Kisame lifted him as if he weighed no more than a sack of grain.

A campfire crackled welcomingly in a small clearing. Kisame had been busy. Food was already prepared, two small hares dripping grease into the flames. Itachi bit his lip as his weakened body was lowered onto a sleeping bag. "Where are we?"

"Border of Forest Country. Figured it would be the best place to lay low for a while."

"Why are you doing this…really?"

"It's been a long time since I met someone who treated me like more than hired muscle. I may not be as smart as you, Itachi-san, but you never lorded over me. I respect that. I made a decision as Madara took Sasuke away. I said to myself, are you going to leave you friend lying there? I don't need the Akatsuki to find a good fight. I figured once you are healed up, we can become mercenary shinobi. Plenty of fighting and good money if you're good…which we sure as fuck are." Kisame as he offered bites of hare to him.

His body screamed in hunger but he couldn't eat more than a few bites before his eyes were drooping once more. Being so badly injured, it was a wonder he'd survived long enough to wake up.

"I'm tired."

"I'm going to head to the nearby town tomorrow. Some of your wounds don't look so good. You need a proper healing." Kisame said, finishing off both hares before burying the bones.

"Are we that close to a town?"

"Hmm, 'bout six hours walking, three hours full speed. I'm going to start working on a shelter after we get you looked at. Heh, look at that. We'll be like a married couple, I'll be the husband and you will be the wife." Kisame released a guttural laugh, clutching his sides in mirth.

"If you even think about me being your wife, I'll kill you."

"Aww, Itachi-san, I was only joking. You don't have big enough titties for me."

"I don't have…titties."

"I know. You would make one pretty wife if you had some big jugs, nice and soft to bury my face in."

"You are vulgar."

"Ain't that the truth. Well, we should get some shut eye." Kisame reclined against a log, snoring almost immediately. His apparent relaxation might fool the casual viewer. Itachi knew Kisame would be awake at the slights snapping of a twig. He was a very good shinobi.

Itachi attempted to move, despite the softness of the bag, every time he tried to get comfortable some other part of him would begin aching. He couldn't even stand. His chakra deprivation was the worst he'd ever experienced.

He wasn't sure when or how he fell asleep, but the shuffling of Kisame woke him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to head out to that town. I know it's not much but here are a few shuriken and kunai. I'll be back with the healer and extra provisions as soon as possible." Kisame said before climbing in the cart.

Itachi scowled at the weapons. He would be lucky to even be able to pick up the light weight pieces of metal, let along throw them. His sharingan and genjutsu were out the question. He barely had enough chakra to breathe.

For about an hour after Kisame left, Itachi tried lifting a kunai. His fingers had no strength. Even if he had the strength in his arms to lift them, his fingers refused to wrap around them. Growling in frustration, he stared out into the trees. Squirrels chased each other, flicking their tails as they went. Kisame had chosen a peaceful place, surprising, knowing the tendencies of the other.

Flopping back to the pallet, he felt exhaustion beating at him. A migraine started behind his eyes, forcing him to close them against the light trickling through the trees. In the end, he could fight the pull of sleep no more.

He drifted through a black nothing. The darkness began to lighten. His eyes squinted to see through the haze. With a sudden burst of light, buildings emerged. He found himself staring at himself, only younger…much younger.

"Nii-san, you promise to always stay with me?"

"Stop being a baby, otouto. This world isn't made for crybabies."

"But…I'll be alone if you aren't with me."

"You have Mother and Father."

"I don't think Father likes me much. I'm not as good as you, nii-san."

"I can't promise that I can be with you all the time. But I do promise that I will always look after you." Itachi smiled, flicking his brother's brow.

"I'm so sorry for failing you, Sasuke." whispered Itachi as he stared on the long forgotten moment. "Please forgive me."

"I'm going to kill you!" screamed a thirteen year old Sasuke, charging his brother.

"Not strong enough, Sasuke. Perhaps you need another lesson on how weak you really are."

The word faded to black and crimson. Itachi watched the scenes play out, his heart aching for his brother. Tears tracked down his face as he watched despair play across his brother's face. "Sasuke."

"Itachi." The dream world faded, showing the heavy light of midday. Kisame looked concerned as he lifted the smaller man into a sitting position.

"Are you alright, Itachi-san?"

"You keep asking that, Kisame."

"You never answer me."

"Hn."

"I brought a healer. She'll take care of you while I start unloading the supplies. You would not believe how cheap lumber is here." chuckled Kisame.

"We are in Forest Country after all."

"Hmph, spoil sport."

Itachi turned his eyes the woman standing several feet away. She was attractive, a bit older than himself; probably in her early to mid thirties. The size of her bust caused him to arch his brow. He wondered if Kisame brought her because of her breast size or because she volunteered to come. Either way, she would have the chance to prove her competence now.

"My name is Keiko."

"Hn."

"H-How are you f-feeling?" Her voice quivered as she spoke.

"Fine."

"You don't look fine."

"If I don't look fine, then why did you ask how I felt?"

"To see what you would say."

"Hn."

She smiled shyly before approaching him. Her hands were calloused as she ran then over his body, checking for broken bones. Satisfied, she nodded before pulling his shirt over his head. Her eyes widened. His body was covered with cuts, some mostly healed, others festered and bleeding.

"Oh, this is bad."

"I gathered that."

She left him, returning several minutes later with Kisame and a kettle. The healer set about heating the water on the fire while Kisame stripped him naked. He hissed as bandages were removed, the dried puss pulling away to reveal reddened skin.

"I'm going to need to clean everything out. I brought some herbs that should help."

"Why can't I move?" Itachi asked, knowing the answer but still wanting to hear it from her lips.

"Kisame-san informed me of your chakra depletion. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say you blew out your chakra pathways. It's just going to take time and physical therapy to get back to your previous strength. Don't push yourself. It will only delay your healing." Her hands were gentle as they cleaned the wounds of infection, coating each injury with a paste of herbs. The scent, while not bad, caused his nose to twitch.

"You are an amazing man, Itachi-san. Most men would scream like babies after so many wounds being cleaned." she smiled at him.

"Don't waste your breath on that one, Keiko-chan. He's as cold as ice." Kisame chuckled as he helped Itachi into fresh clothes.

"I wasn't…I mean…" she whispered.

"No worries, he might not appreciate you, but I wouldn't mind sharing your company." he grinned, much like the shark he was.

"Don't make me sick."

"You're already sick, Itachi-san."

"Kisame…"

"Fine, fine. You're no fun." Kisame stood, lifting the healer into his arms. "I'll carry you back. It will be much faster than taking the cart."

"Umm…wait…ahh!" she cried as Kisame took off through the trees, his large body surprisingly limber.

"Idiot."

Itachi found himself dozing off again, the sun having nearly set when Kisame plopped down on the dirt next to him. "I think I've found my soul mate."

"Honestly, did you pick her for her breasts?"

"Nope, but it sure was a nice bonus."

"Hn."

"You know Itachi-san. It might be nice here. You could settle down, find a nice plump woman and have little Itachi's running around in no time."

"No, thank you. I still have things to do."

Kisame rolled his eyes. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had a hard on for your brother."

"Don't start, Kisame."

"Honestly, what are you going to do when you find him again? If you want to die so bad, I'll kill you now and save you the trouble of looking for him." Kisame growled menacingly.

"We each have our torches to bear, Kisame. I have to atone for what I did."

"You were ordered to by that fucking village you still call home."

"That does not make it right."

The remainder of the evening was spent in silence, Kisame cooking some fresh caught trout. It was good but Itachi was unable to handle more than a few bites before falling asleep once more. With his wounds properly dressed, his body began healing.

For the most part, he slept the next few days while Kisame built a house. The rhythmic hammering lulled him into a state of contentment…well as much of contentment as he could feel. He could feel the itching of his wounds, a testament to their healing. Even the finer movements of his fingers and toes came slowly. He was grateful. It was very disconcerting to have to rely on Kisame to eat.

"It's finished, Itachi-san." shouted Kisame as he came trotting towards the camp.

"Is it?"

"Indeed. Four rooms. Gonna have to make an outhouse though. No plumbing out this way." Kisame grinned as he lifted Itachi, carrying him towards the newly built home.

"Look, I'm going to carry you like a bride across the threshold."

"Idiot."

Kisame chuckled, stopping so Itachi could have a look. While a bit rustic, the house was well made. It would withstand the elements. "Since when are you skilled in carpentry?"

"I'll keep that my little secret."

"Hn."

"Now that the house is finished, I can start courting Keiko-chan."

"Are you seriously going to try and marry her? You are a shinobi, one who loves battle I might add. Not to mention a missing nin. What kind of life do think you can provide for her. Just knowing you puts her in danger from ANBU." Itachi attempted to keep his voice calm but the state of his body and his mind negated the results.

Itachi didn't want to see his friend destroyed when he came home to find his wife and any possible children dead or in containment. He'd seen what women in ANBU containment went through. Rape. Torture. Death. All because it was too dangerous to release them, or because they just had too much fun breaking them. It had made Itachi sick to see such depravity in his village. He almost wished he'd allowed Madara the chance to destroy the village. But no, despite all that, he loved what the village stood for. His clan was wrong to consider a coup. They should have tried to fix things, not take them over.

Would've, could've, should've. That was all he could say. Even if given the choice, he wasn't so sure his father or the clan as a whole would have done anything different. Arrogance was a trait not only belonging to the Hyuuga clan.

"Maybe so, but I would like a chance at happiness. I won't lie to her. She'll know the risks before I take her as a wife." Kisame said quietly.

Bowing his head, he clenched his hand. If Kisame's mind was set, there was nothing he could do to change it. Each had their own path to walk. If this was the one he chose, then so be it. Itachi would support him as best he could as Kisame had always supported him.

"As you wish, Kisame."

"You know, you could do the same. A wife might do you good. I'm serious."

"Hn. I would not foist myself on any woman. There are parts of me that no one should see."

"You delude yourself."

"Perhaps, but it is my right."

"So it is."

"Let's just halt this conversation for a while. My body couldn't handle a woman like it is anyway. At least not one as busty as your Keiko-chan."

Kisame barked a laugh, setting Itachi before the fire once more. As night set, both men settled in their sleeping bags, Itachi stared out into the darkness. The sounds of night creatures loud in his ears, while the memories of his shame flashed before his mind's eye. The sharingan would never allow him to forget what he had done. In that he was grateful. He never wanted to forget. Forgiveness would never be his. The most he could hope for would be the silence of death. Closing his eyes, he drifted off into a blessedly dreamless sleep. Morning would come soon enough, and with it the memories.

To be continued.