Hi there!

So, this is my first "Bleach" story! My friend started watching it, and she kept telling me all about it, so i decided to check it out for myself. Needless to say, I was hooked! I'm almost caught up with her too! :D

Anyways, I just finished the third season last night, and I was thinking about how Ichigo blames himself for his mom's death. So, I thought I'd write a story about it! :D

I know his dad already "cleared up" the whole issue early in the series, but I was thinking that with the kind of person that Ichigo is, he just wouldn't let it go that easily. Plus, I like to torture my favorite characters. ;)

So here's my try at a fic for it! Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Bleach"

BleachBleachBleachBleachBleachBleach

Isshin Kurosaki sighed as he unlocked the front door to his home and stepped inside. He shut the door with a soft click and glanced around the dark house, eyes roaming over the familiar objects. A smile came to his face when his eyes landed on the portrait of his deceased wife that hung in the hall way and he made his way to the kitchen.

I wonder where everyone is? He thought. The house was much to quiet, especially at this time on a Saturday night. After all, he did have a teenaged son and two pre-teen girls. Something was bound to be happening. Then again, Ichigo could have been out with his friends, which seemed to be happening more and more lately.

It was a good thing, the old man decided as he opened a cupboard and pulled out a glass. He made his way over to the sink to fill it with water. His son needed to get out of the house. He spent way to much time inside just studying. Sure, he had friends, but they were never around much, and the orange-headed teen didn't seem to want to go out of his way to go out and hang with them outside of school.

As he sipped his water and looked through the mail on the table, he noticed a piece of paper. It had his daughter's scratchy handwriting on it.

"Yuzu and I went to a friend's house for the night to stay over. Be back sometime tomorrow morning. Don't know where Ichigo is. Karin."

Isshin smiled. Looked like he got the house to himself tonight, a rarity indeed. And considering the day he had had today at the clinic, he all he wanted was to relax.

Three crashes, and none of them survived. He had done all he could, but it had been useless. One had a bad reaction to a drug; no one even knew the patient had been allergic. There was nothing in the medical history that said anything about it.

The other two… he had never seen coming. They had been perfectly healthy a few hours before hand, and then, right before he had gone into surgery, the one had crashed. But by the time he had gotten there, the man was already dead. They would have to wait for the autopsy to come back to figure out what had happened.

The last one had been similar, but he had been in surgery at the time, and an intern had been the one on call. The poor kid had done his best, but there was nothing he could have done. Isshin had spent the rest of the evening with the poor student, trying to explain that it wasn't his fault. That's why he was so late in coming home. Missed dinner and everything…

He finished his water and set the glass in the sink. He then made his way through the house and up the steps.

But when he reached the top, he stopped. Something wasn't right…

There was someone else in the house…

Isshin's eyes narrowed and he glanced around the hallway. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary…

He strained his ears, hoping to hear something that he had not caught before. There was a sound coming from his son's room. It was quiet, but it was still there. Isshin cautiously made his way down the hall, careful to not make a single noise. He didn't want to alert whoever was in there that he knew they were in there.

When he got to Ichigo's door, he put an ear to it, trying to hear inside, to see what the intruders where doing. There was no sound for a moment, but then…

It sounded like… like whimpering?

Maybe the intruder was hurt? But then why climb all the way into Ichigo's room all the way on the second floor? Why not stay on the ground floor? Surely the steps would prove to be an obstacle if someone were hurt…

There it was again! That was definitely a whimper!

Isshin stepped back for a moment, then burst through the door, taking the intruder by surprise.

That was… if there had been an intruder.

Isshin blinked…

There was no one in the room. That is, no one but his own son, lying in bed, tossing and turning in his sleep, groaning and moaning and muttering unintelligently.

Isshin straitened, letting out a relieved sigh. Now that he knew there was no intruder…

He jumped when Ichigo suddenly let out a painful scream, shooting up out his bed. The scream died down and his son sat there, now fully awake, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his face. He gulped in air, wide eyes suddenly realizing that he was not alone when they fell on his father, standing in the middle of the room.

"Dad?" Ichigo breathed, and Isshin couldn't help but notice a little hitch in his voice.

"Ichigo, are you alright?" Isshin asked. He was worried. It wasn't uncommon for his son to have nightmares, especially around this time of the year, but he had never seen him so distressed after one before.

Then again, he was usually downstairs when his son had them, and only had to deal with the boy when he came stumbling downstairs well after he had woken up. The two of them would sit at the kitchen table and talk until morning. And even then, Ichigo never mentioned what had happened to wake him in the first place.

Ichigo's continued to breath heavily. He gulped and nodded. "What're you doing home so late? I figured that you would stay at the clinic all night since you weren't home for dinner…"

Isshin blinked. Did that happen a lot for Ichigo to realize that? It was true that around this time of the year that he spent more time in the clinic than usual, but he didn't realize that his kids had noticed how much he actually did it. And was he trying to change the subject?

"Yeah… sorry about that…" Isshin said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Things got a little hectic for a while…"

There was an awkward silence for a moment as Ichigo's breathing returned to normal. He looked out his window, refusing to make eye contact with his father.

"Do… you wanna talk about it?" Isshin asked, not really sure what to say. He had comforted the girls after a nightmare, but they were relatively easy. All he had to do was let them sleep in his bed with him for the night, and they were fine. They were still young enough where the three of them could fit comfortably in there.

But Ichigo was too old for that… and Isshin didn't really have that much practice in dealing with his son's nightmares. He always seemed mature enough to handle it by himself, and he never even asked for help to begin with.

Ichigo's breath hitched again. "No thanks," he said, and Isshin could swear that there was some bitterness in his heart.

"Ichigo…" he whispered… "Come on. I'm your father. If there's something bothering you, then you should be able to tell-"

"I don't want your help!" Ichigo snapped, gripping the covers tightly in his fists.

Isshin blinked, wide-eyed.

"Just… leave me alone…" Ichigo whispered. "I can deal with this by myself. It's my burden anyways…"

"What do you mean… 'burden'?" The doctor breathed.

His son remained silent, still staring out the window.

Isshin stared at him for a moment, then crossed the room and sat down on the edge of Ichigo's bed, crossing his arms. He felt the teen tense.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed, his forehead creased, and he dropped his head down. Hs grip on the sheets strengthened, making his knuckles turn white.

There was silence for a long time. Neither man said anything. The house was eerily quiet, and the moonlight made the shadows look creepy.

And then…

"I know you told me last year..." Ichigo's voice was quiet, but hard all the same. "But I still don't understand…"

Isshin looked at him, not really knowing what his son was talking about.

"Why don't you hate me?!"

Ichigo finally looked up at his father and Isshin was surprised to see tears falling down his face.

"Wha-"

"I killed her!" Ichigo exclaimed, voice filled with pain, eyes searching his father's face. "I killed her, and yet you don't blame me! Why?! I took her away from this family, from this world, and no one but myself seems to realize that!"

More tears followed the outburst as Ichigo looked at his father in anger. Isshin stared back, eyes wide.

Was this what his nightmares were about? Did he seriously blame himself for that? And for all these years too? Sure, last year when Ichigo had asked him the same question, Isshin had thought that he made it clear that it was an accident. Obviously, the kid hadn't been listening to him…

Isshin took his son's tear-streaked face into his hands and forced him to look him in the eyes.

"Ichigo, listen to me," he said sternly. His son's amber eyes met his own, and Isshin could see the immense pain behind them. "That was not your fault. You were young and didn't know what was going on with yourself. Your mother died trying to protect you, just like she would have done for any one of us."

More tears fell from Ichigo's eyes.

"And it's like I told you before; I could never let myself hate you. First of all, your mother would never forgive me. Second of all, you're my son; my flesh and blood. How could I ever hate my own son?

"It was an accident, Ichigo. That's all it was. An accident that nobody blames you for."

Ichigo stared at his father for a moment before his son suddenly broke into loud sobs. Isshin brought him closer to him and Ichigo buried his head in his father's chest, hands gripping the back of his shirt. He shook in his father's arms, while Isshin rubbed soothing circle's in his back, trying to calm the boy down.

"Shh," he whispered quietly. "Shh. It's okay, Ichigo. Everything's alright, son. Let it all out… that's a good boy."

Isshin didn't know how long they sat like that before Ichigo's sob's finally came to end. He reluctantly pulled away from his father and wiped his face.

"Everything's going to be okay, Ichigo," his father said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Ichigo nodded and looked at his father, looking a little embarrassed.

"Can I… sleep in your room tonight?" he asked quietly.

Isshin blinked. This was so unlike Ichigo. His son hardly ever asked for comfort, least of all from his father. It was just they way that Ichigo was…

"I just don't want the nightmare's to come back…" Ichigo whispered, seeing his father's face and blushing a little.

Isshin smiled knowingly and nodded. He stood up. "Of course. Come on. It's late enough already and we're both exhausted."

Ichigo nodded gathered his sheets and pillow, following his father down the hall to his room. He entered the room and headed toward the corner, where he laid out his blankets. When his father came back from the bathroom and saw him, he looked perplexed.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

Ichigo blinked. "What?"

"You're not going to sleep on the floor tonight, are you?" Isshin asked.

Ichigo's face got a little red. "Dad, I'm a little old to sleep in the same bed with you. I'll be fine on the floor-"

"Ichigo, my son is not going to sleep on the floor," Isshin said. He pointed to the bed. "Now get your butt in bed now before I kick it on there!"

Ichigo's face got a little redder, but he nodded once and stood up, heading to the bed, where he crawled under the covers. Isshin flicked the light off and followed suit.

" 'Night, dad," Isshin heard him say.

"Sleep, Ichigo," Isshin said.

There was quiet for a moment before Isshin heard his son's sleepy voice.

"Thank you…" he said quietly.

Isshin smiled. When he awoke in the morning, Ichigo was curled in a small ball against him, sleeping peacefully. He smiled again, brushed the hair out of his son's eyes, and gently kissed his forehead.

"You're welcome… Ichigo… my son…"

A small smile graced Ichigo's face as he slept.

Isshin had a feeling that his some wouldn't have any more nightmares for a long time.

BleachBleachBleachBleachBleachBleach

Well, what did you think?! Let me know, but please be easy on the flames... ;)

(AND IT'S NOT SLASH OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! PLEASE DON'T THINK OF IT THAT WAY, ESPECIALLY WITH THE WAY I ENDED IT!) I just like fluffy endings.