Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.

Walk a Crooked Nile or A Louse by the River

Narrator: Our heroes have been having rather bad luck lately. After being arrested by Boris and Natasha, who are both having identity crises as they think they are ancient Egyptian rulers, the adventurous moose and squirrel seem to be going over the edge... of the Nile river.

Bullwinkle: What about our new friend?

Fearless Leader: I'm not your "new friend", Moose.

Narrator: Since the identity mishap, King Tutanboris and Queen Nefertasha have not only captured the adventurous duo, but they have also turned on their own boss, Fearless Leader. As a result, he is working with the Moose and Squirrel.

Fearless Leader: I am hoping that this merger is temporary.

Boris as Tutanboris: Oh, it will be temporary all right... when I am finished with these interlopers, I will redesign the Sphinx in my own image! I'll finally be able to put a nose on that thing.

Narrator: The Nile river happens to be filled to the brim with Nile crocodiles.

Rocky: Are they friendly?

Bullwinkle: I doubt it.

Narrator: Luckily for the mismatched trio, just as Tutanboris and Nefertasha are about to shove them in the river, the pseudo pharaohs fall in there instead.

Rocky: Hokey Smoke! We'll have to save them from the Nile crocodiles!

Fearless Leader: Do we really have to?

Rocky: Yes.

Narrator: They quickly drag the duo out of the water. In the meantime the crocodiles just nonchalantly ignore them.

Crocodiles: We just ate.

Narrator: I'm hoping it's just fish, but all right. That's convenient.

Rocky: Are you guys okay?

Fearless Leader: If you are, then you have some explaining to do!

Bullwinkle: Yeah. How can you guys move around in those weird looking casts?

Rocky and Fearless Leader stare at him.

Tutanboris: ...Huh? What happened? Ees that you, boss?

Natasha: Dollink, why are you handcuffed to Moose and Squirrel?

Fearless Leader: Ah, so you two are back to normal. Well, as normal as you could possibly get.

Bullwinkle: Aw, but I wanted to be a psychiatrist and fix their problems...

Rocky: Can you remember anything that just happened recently?

Boris: Not really. The last thing I remember is being pulled into one of those coffin whatsits.

Fearless Leader: You mean a sarcophagus, right?

Natasha: Dollink, you're catching a cold in this type of weather?

Bullwinkle: Rocky's getting it, too. I would just say gesundheit.

Narrator: After getting the handcuffs off, and Boris and Natasha getting out of the mummy costumes, you would think that the villains would agree to putting the relics back.

Fearless Leader: Vhat? Since when?!

Natasha: Um, boss, dollink, usually I'm all for greed and all that, but I think the scary tomb spirits made it pretty clear not to touch their belongings-

Fearless Leader: I don't care if their schtuff is verboten!

Rocky: I don't think they'll ever learn...

Narrator: Apparently the reason why Boris and Natasha behaved even more oddly than usual was because of possession or hypnotism of some sort.

Bullwinkle: You mean you don't know, Mr. Narrator?

Rocky: Maybe you could do your medium act from the séance earlier.

Boris: Don't leesten to Squirrel, Moose! The tomb spirits scared me... uh, I mean they scared my comrades.

Fearless Leader: Scared?! Of course not, you liar.

Natasha: I don't know... you looked scared when you saw a skeleton earlier-

Fearless Leader: Oh, put that costume back on and shut up!

Bullwinkle: I'll go get my crystal ball.

Narrator: Bullwinkle heads for the Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam to get his crystal ball, but suddenly he falls through the sand! It must be that dreaded curse again...

Bullwinkle: Whoops!

Rocky: Hokey Smoke!

Narrator: The sorcerer's, erm, medium's apprentice hurries to follow him, but Boris stops the Squirrel in his tracks.

Boris: Are you stupid, Squirrel? You will sink and die.

Natasha: Dollink, we vere planning to keel them anyway.

Boris: Oh, right... go save him, Squirrel!

They here a voice from beneath the sand.

Bullwinkle: I'm fine, Rocky. Really.

Rocky: That's great!

Boris: Aw, phooey!

Bullwinkle: This place is kinda a big sandbox, don't you think?

Rocky: Yeah, I guess so.

Bullwinkle: ...Let's build a sand castle!

Rocky: No.

Bullwinkle: Aww...

Narrator: Rocky attempts to rescue his best friend from the sand pit by using a rope.

Rocky: Technically it's not a rope. These are the bandages from the mummy costume.

Fearless Leader: This will give us ample time to steal their schtuff.

He starts to carry away some of the bags and treasure chests, but Boris and Natasha stop him.

Fearless Leader: Bah! Get out of my way, you treacherous peons.

Natasha: Dollink, maybe you should reconsider?

Boris: Yeah. I don't really want to end up in that costume again...

Narrator: In the meantime, Rocky's rope has slipped, which causes him to fall into the hole. The baddies get tangled in the long wrappings, and they fall in as well with a thud.

*thud*

Rocky: Oh, no! We're going to sink in quick- hey, this isn't quicksand.

Boris: And that's a bad thing because...?

Rocky: Good point.

Narrator: He finds out that they have all landed on Bullwinkle, who is confused from the impact.

Bullwinkle: But I'm always confused.

Narrator: Exactly.

Rocky: The sand must have been actually hiding a secret passageway! I wonder what's in here...

Narrator: I'll bet you viewers are wondering, too. To find out, be sure to stay tuned for our next episode "The Nile of the Dead" or "In the Hall of the Mummy King".