He see's the stake forced into her chest, he see's his brother murmur something to her before driving it in further, the glint in his brother's eyes before his eyes are drawn unwillingly back to his oldest friend as she falls.
Stefan is vaguely aware that Elena is standing next to him, hand at her throat but all he can see is darkness, black and twisted. His vision eventually clears when he hears his brother speak to the police officer, voice full of concern.
'Are you okay?'
And he leaves. He walks away from the voice that haunts him, away from Lexi, blonde hair splayed around her as her skin becomes waxy, where she had died her final death.
He gets as far as the car park, the onlookers and police crowding behind him making noise that was all too easy to block out.
"Stefan...Stefan." He ignores her, his face bent towards the ground, shoulder hunched with the tension and effort of keeping a hold on his emotions. So many years of controlling the faintest sense of emotion, and all his defences are coming down now.
She reaches out for his arm and he can no longer ignore her, he wheels to face her, irrational with grief.
"He killed her." His voice is thick with emotion but his eyes are fierce "He killed Zac. He killed Tanner. He turned Vicki" she can see that he is struggling with his emotions, telling himself not to cry and trying to translate his devastation into something else.
"I have to kill him." His voice is full of quiet cold determination as he turns and walks away, afraid that if he says something his brother will feel the need to hurt her too, the only one that he's ever cared about that is left for him to hurt. She can see the remorse and sorrow beneath his anger, in his voice, even as she is stunned by his expression and words. It is a side she has never seen of Stefan, a side so completely different to his usual calm and collected self that she finds herself wondering if she ever knew him at all.
And she still follows. "No you can't do that" her voice is breathless with her desire to make him understand as he walks away. She reaches out for him and he turns.
"Why are you trying to save him, Elena- he's never gonna change! Don't you see that? He's never gonna change" His voice is fierce and almost hysterical as he tries to show her just how much his brother has hurt him over the centuries, how he's spoilt everything Stefan has ever cared about.
He turns away again but Elena tells herself not to let him walk away and to listen to Lexi's words from earlier that evening, back when the gorgeous blonde vampire could still laugh and talk and was still beautiful and care-free. She has to save Stefan from himself, for Lexi as much as for herself.
"I'm not trying to save him- I'm trying to save you" She takes his hand as he is walking and tries to pull him back, to stop him from doing something she knows he will regret "You have no idea what this will do to you, please Stefan" She is breathless again, whilst trying to make him understand- trying to make him listen. And finally he turns to her.
"Everywhere that I go pain and death follow" She can see the grim acceptance in his eyes, hear it in his voice- he honestly believes in what he is telling her, and a part of her knows that she should be terrified, but she can't bring herself to leave this long suffering man when he needs someone the most.
"Damon follows me" Elena also sees the anguish and the guilt, the centuries worth of pain at losing his brother, at losing everything he once cared about, and now this. He had lost his family, his brother, his love and now his oldest friend too. She finds herself wishing it could have been her that was killed instead; then, at least, she wouldn't be able to scar his already frayed emotions anymore herself, then at least, he would still have had one person left to comfort him.
"No more" his words are determined and final, masking a life-time of pain and are a sign to her that she should give up, but she won't leave him.
"Stefan please, please just- just talk to me" She wishes for things to go back to how they had been before, that she could make everything that would ever hurt him disappear.
"let me be here for you, talk to me-"
"No" his voice is broken and he can feel the tears coming, as he sees the hurt on her face Stefan finds himself hating what he is more than he ever has before.
He finally looks up, he has been looking at the floor as he spoke, trying to hide his emotions from her. His eyes are shining but refuse to release the moisture and his voice is defeated and rough.
"You were right to stay away from me"
And then she watches him walk away.