Oh. My. God. I am quite... nervous about uploading this. It's immaturely hilarious but I think that's my coping mechanism, for the possibility that this is in reality, terrible. If you like smut and banter, then perhaps not, but please be warned: it's 5000 words of exactly that - smut and teasing. What is this 'plot' of which you speak?

It wasn't really meant to be so long (it's about 3000 words too long!). I wrote it for my partner in perversion ~Mulysa for her birthday (read: an excuse to write smut) on Wednesday but only got around to posting it now. Many thanks to her for fixing my near-dyslexic errors. Keep an eye on her - she's in the midst of writing some pretty freakin' hot smut.

For simplicity's sake, it's split into two chapters. Chapter one is leading up to everything and chapter two is basically sex.

If you didn't catch it from the title, the song around which this whole fic is based is Closer by Nine Inch Nails. I'm sure most of you have heard it, but if you haven't, go listen to it or at least look up the lyrics. I'm no Nine Inch Nails fan, I just have to admit it's a hot song and the implausible idea of Ziva liking this song was too fun to give up.

Disclaimer: if I owned NCIS, I would up the rating to MA and get some of this action on television. Clearly, I do not own it.

Without further rambling, here it is.

You Tear Down My Reason

She walked in from one of the team's rare morning breaks to find Tony fiddling with a familiar looking iPod; hers. She walked over to his desk but he was so focused on whatever was on the small screen that he didn't notice her coming.

"Something interesting on there, Tony?" She asked.

He looked up and smirked. "Actually, Ziva, I was just admiring your music collection..."

She squinted slightly; he sounded suspicious. "You like Kinky too?"

His turned into a grin as he replied, "Kinky's on the right track."

She started to get impatient, his secrecy was unnecessary. "Tony I do not have time for your critics."

"Ah, if you meant cryptic, we have plenty of time," Tony corrected, "We have no case. That's how you got a break, which is how I got your iPod and how I found a song I wouldn't expect you to have."

She let out a frustrated breath. "Tony, tell me or give me my iPod back. I do not wish to listen to your implications and innuendos all day."

He looked slightly pained. "Oh you were just setting me up for that innuendo part. Does this line sound familiar to you, Ziva?" he asked and after receiving no threat, he continued, "I want to feel you from the inside."

Suddenly it made sense. Closer; she should have known Tony would have something to say if he ever found that song. Of course he wasn't going to give this up no matter what she said so she decided to bypass as many of the jokes as possible. "No, Tony, it does not sound familiar. What is your point in all this?"

He studied her for a moment before replying, "Then how did you get such a naughty little song? Nine Inch Nails stands out from the rest of your music. Most of it, at least; some I can't understand."

Crossing her arms, she replied, "Abby offered to give me some more music. Since I have never heard of Nine Inch Tails, I am to assume that it was some of her music." It was mostly the truth. Abby had given her more music, and she had never heard of Nine Inch Nails before that, but, oh, she wasn't being completely honest about that certain song.

Leaning back in his chair, Tony looked sceptical, but his demeanour changed. "Ah, Abby. Why am I not surprised? I can't say I'm not a little disappointed, though. The song isn't so bad, you should listen to it. It helps me get away from myself."

Ziva's eyes, which had been eying the iPod sitting on Tony's desk snapped up to his. A jolt of lust shot through her body after hearing him say that last sentence. He had just quoted Closer. At work. For her. Because he knew... or he assumed he knew, but she wasn't going to give this one to him. "I do not think I would enjoy Abby's music, I did not think you would either. I'm sure she will lend you one of her dog collars if you ask nicely." She grabbed her iPod and walked over to her desk, shutting the music player in a drawer.

After receiving no response, she opened a window on her computer. As she did that, Gibbs walked in, McGee in tow and directed at Tony and Ziva, "Gear up; dead marine and his dead prostitute on a naval base."

Reaching into his desk to grab his gear, Tony looked up at Ziva. "I never got to what kind of music you had past Nine Inch Nails, Ziva. Any chance I'll ever get to see?"

She glared in response. "If you ever take my possessions again I will strangle you with my earphones."

"And I'll make it so both of you don't have to worry about killing the other," Gibbs commented as he walked to the elevator. They followed obediently, Tony throwing Ziva a cocky smirk that she deflected with a glare.

"Ugh, if that does not turn anybody off wanting to buy a prostitute, I do not know what will," Ziva mumbled as she walked back into the bullpen with Tony to collect her things. Gibbs and McGee had since retired home, but after screwing around on the crime scene, they'd been left to tie up loose ends.

"Well I doubt all prostitutes are homicidal," Tony noted as he dropped into his chair, "Maybe suicidal, though."

"Not every prostitute is forced into it, Tony. Some choose that work for the money; selling their bodies is just a way to earn a living," Ziva corrected as she tapped at her keyboard.

Tony's eyes lit up with an idea. "Or maybe they've got no soul to sell. So they sell their bodies."

He didn't, had he? Of course he had, he'd been referencing Closer all day, and it was making Ziva hot and bothered. She felt like a teenage girl, but there was something about the suggestive lyrics and the fact that they were coming from Tony's mouth that made them so arousing. She shifted in her chair and Tony caught her movement.

"Maybe their whole existence is flawed?" He pressed, loving the flush on Ziva's cheeks as she tried desperately not to acknowledge his innuendo. She had yet to admit it, but his words were affecting her. Try as she might, this lust was something she couldn't keep hidden. From Tony, anyway, who had been watching her reactions all day. Granted, it was the reason they were still there doing paperwork, but it was worth it to see Ziva so worked up. The way she tensed slightly and shifted, the way she tried to keep a nonchalant expression as she registered each lyric he'd been reciting all day. It made him pulse a little, and after watching the fierce combination of lust and annoyance flash through Ziva's eyes, keeping his mind solely on his work was all he could do to stop the pulse turning into something more.

It was a cycle that had taken place all day: grabbing reference opportunities, watching Ziva's reaction, trying to focus on work, repeating. He had been walking a fine line, but the suggestive teasing was just too much fun. Then there was the fact that she hadn't succumbed to her frustration. Yet.

Ziva didn't respond to his last comment; telling him to give it up would only prove that she knew the lyrics. Instead, she typed up everything as quickly as she could, wanting to leave. She could have sworn she heard a few notes of Closer being hummed While she worked. Tony was seriously pushing it and had picked a terrible day to have his car repaired; maybe a night walk would set him straight. Definitely a possibility.

"Ziva," Tony whined and Ziva looked up.

"Yes? What is it that makes you sound like a five year old?" Ziva asked, one side of her mouth pulling up.

"Are you finished your paperwork yet? I've been waiting for fifteen minutes with nothing to do. You could always let me have a look at your iPod..." Tony jested despite the real suggestion.

Ziva scowled at him. "How did you finish so early? We had the same amount of paperwork!"

Tony's eyes shifted suspiciously. "Ah. I may have shifted the work load a little," he admitted sheepishly, wincing at whatever was about to be thrown his way.

Ziva scowled at him, the idea of him walking home sounding better and better. "Remember that I agreed to drive you home tonight, Tony," she warned as she shut down her computer, walking to the elevator. "Are you coming?"

He shot up, grabbing his gear and not looking back. She smirked.

As the elevator doors closed, Tony leaned back against the wall as Ziva stood still. She looked like she had recovered from his teasing, so maybe it was safe to push her a little further. Lowering his voice to an almost unintelligible level, he started to murmur what he hoped would set her off again.

"You let me violate you..."

Ziva's breath caught in her throat and it all started again; the warm surge in her abdomen, the clench of her muscles; the vexation. Could he not just leave her alone? He just had to push her, had to try to get a reaction.

"You let me desecrate you..."

His husky voice was making it all that much more sensuous. But no, she still wasn't going to give in and if it meant physical force to shut him up, so be it. Just as she started to decide between driving off without him and grabbing him by the throat, the elevator doors opened. She stalked off, only hearing the beginning of the next line. He followed her out to her car, hoping he wouldn't have to pay a cab fee to get home.

"If I get in this car, will I ever be able to walk again?" Tony asked, his hand on the door handle.

"It depends whether you open your mouth on the way home," Ziva shot as she settled herself into the driver's seat.

Tony climbed in and braced himself for her driving. She reversed rapidly and sped out of the parking lot. They sat in silence, both still worked up from the elevator ride. How long was this going to go on? There had been no physical contact, but Ziva hadn't ever wanted someone so badly. Was the feeling mutual or was he just having fun teasing her? Surely the careful pushing of her buttons had been calculated to some extent; he was stopping right before she retaliated. What was he waiting for, hoping for? She had given him no overt response, but he must have noticed something. Was he always so observant?

The silence was bordering on uncomfortable, different to the usual companionable silences. Tony dared not utter anymore lyrics while in close quarters with Ziva; pissed off Ziva was one that dealt out bruises. Instead, he leaned forward to turn on music, pressing play on whatever CD was in the car.

Ziva didn't think anything of Tony finding a way to break the silence without opening his mouth until the music oozed from the car's speakers.

"You get me closer to God."

Ziva uttered what Tony could only assume was a curse word in another language and went to shut off the music, but he grabbed her hand before she hit the stop button. "I told you today, I like this song. I just didn't know you did." He looked over at her. Ziva was looking at their hands, his still holding onto hers. It was the longest physical contact they'd had all day and even the smooth skin of her hand made his teasing the slightest bit more serious. He grinned at her, hoping she didn't see him falter and she frowned slightly.

"So why were you quoting these lyrics all day, Tony?" She questioned, knowing full well that he had known. He pulled back his hand, but Ziva found herself wishing he hadn't. It wasn't the idea of holding hands more than the thoughts of what Tony could do with that hand.

"I guess there's something about a hot and bothered, glaring Ziva that was a nice change to the glaring Ziva. I got to say, it's pretty hot to know you listen to this music."

Hot and bothered? He had no idea. Instead of acknowledging the eroticism of the song, she glanced over at him and stated simply, "It is merely a song."

"Maybe, it depends why you like it; the lyrics or the music, Ziva?"

She pursed her lips as she considered the question. "I do not think I would enjoy the lyrics so much if it wasn't with that music."

Tony let out a gush of air. "Okay. That is hot." The song was still playing in the background and he couldn't help but think of how hot the...

"I know what you are thinking. So stop," Ziva cut through his fantasy with a voice that only complemented his thoughts.

"An assassin and a mind reader? Ziva, you've got it all," Tony replied. What was the point in denying what was obvious?

She pulled up in front of this apartment block and waited for yet another suggestive comment before he got out, but it never came. Instead, he asked something that Ziva could only imagine he hadn't thought through. "Would you like to come in for a drink, Ziva?" Was he just being polite? No, he couldn't have been. If he was as observant as she thought, there was more to it.

"Not tonight, Tony. Thank you, however." How much more teasing could she take before she went over the edge and strangled him where he stood? Or ripped off his clothes. There was only so much provoking she could take before she did either, both more than likely ending in regret in the morning.

He pressed on. "Come on, it's the least I can do for making us stay late. And giving you the most paperwork," he added as a second thought.

It was tempting; so tempting. She wanted to go home, have a shower and at least try to sleep without the thoughts of Tony's voice all gravelly in her ear but against her best judgement, a drink sounded appealing. How many nights had they been together after work without anything happening? "One... and if you make a single reference to Closer, I will attack you." Ziva stepped out of the car and followed Tony inside.

If you actually read this and didn't skip forward to the smut, then thank you, very, very much. It's cool if you skipped it (then why would you be reading this?), but I did spend a lot of time (between endless conversations with Melissa inadvertently following my plan of distraction) writing this.