Chapter 17: The Gods Must Be Crazy

Anna started awake.

She sat up frantically and tried to figure out where she was. It took only a moment for everything to sink in and become familiar.

She was in her own bed, in her own room, no one was around to threaten her, and sunlight was pouring in through the crack in her green drapes.

It must have been a nightmare. Strange. She hadn't woken herself up with a nightmare in years. And to make it even more odd, she didn't remember what it was about.

Anna sighed and swung her legs off the bed. As long as she was up, she figured getting an early start to the day wouldn't be a bad idea.

She padded barefoot over to her full-length mirror, and took herself in.

"I may be getting too buff," she said.

Anna had always been in good shape, even as a child. But with the influx of giants in her life—Chuck, Casey, and Sarah Walker in particular—Anna always felt kind of small. So she worked out. A lot. It had become practically her only hobby.

It wasn't like she had much else to do. She hadn't been on a proper date in so long, it almost hurt to think about. There was a time when she had even begun to harbor feelings of lust or something for her asset.

When the operation began—after Anna's former partner and Chuck's ex-girlfriend Jill Roberts sent the Intersect to Chuck, Anna established a cover as Chuck's new girlfriend. So her life, for the first three months on her current mission was filled with kissing and cuddling with a really cute guy, and getting no payoff. That made her very glad that she was a woman, lest her balls would've been as blue as the sky.

Anna had even considered jumping Zondra's bones when she came to town to run an op with Team Bartowski, but decided against it. Zondra was too emotional, and the last thing Anna needed was a needy ex screwing up the chemistry she'd developed with her team.

Then Chuck started dating the Fro-Yo girl, and even the kissing and cuddling had stopped. Anna had been completely against the new relationship from the start. But Chuck was persistent—as always—and in the end, and after a very thorough background check, Sarah Walker had become a part of the equation.

Of course, that background would eventually come up to almost bite the team in the ass, when Sarah's con-man father came into town. But even then, Anna, Casey, and Chuck had managed to turn it into a win.

And Anna had to admit, Sarah wasn't all bad. If life had worked out differently for her, she would've made an excellent spy. Just from the few times she'd (against Chuck's wishes) joined the team on a mission, Anna knew that to be true. And Sarah wasn't bad to look at, either. In fact, if Chuck ever screwed things up with the leggy blonde…

Anna shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

"No," she said to herself. "Stop it."

But impure thoughts about her asset's girlfriend was only more evidence that she really needed some kind of physical release.

There was Chuck's friend Morgan, who was always hitting on her. After the fake breakup, of course. And especially after he found out she was a spy. Maybe bedding the beard wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Nah, she'd pass.

Sarah awoke with the biggest smile on her face.

She felt warm. She felt loved. She felt complete.

Slowly, she cracked her eyes open and found a still sleeping Chuck lying right next to her. Or under her, to be more accurate. At some point during the night, she'd apparently decided to drape herself across him.

It was strange. She didn't remember Chuck being there when she'd fallen asleep. She wasn't at all disappointed in the surprise.

"Chuck," she whispered against his ear. "Are you awake?"

"Noooo," he said.

Sarah propped herself up on her elbow, and looked down at Chuck.

"You are, too. You answered me."

Chuck groaned. "Well I am now," he said.

"Good," Sarah said. "Why were you so late last night?"

"Work," Chuck said, still not opening his eyes.

"Were you the on-call Herder last night?" Sarah asked.

"Other work," Chuck said, finally cracking open one eye, and rolling on his side to face Sarah.

Sarah sighed. She hated Chuck's other work. But at least since she'd been brought into the loop, Chuck had stopped lying to her all the time. And their relationship had never been stronger. Plus, every now and then, she'd get to go along for the ride, which added a little excitement to her life.

"Not thinking of leaving me for your handler, are you?" Sarah teased.

They joked about that often. At first, Sarah had been jealous of Anna. But then, she thought Anna was a legitimate ex-girlfriend. Once she learned the truth about her boyfriend's other life, and that his relationship with Anna had never been more than a cover, she'd actually started to think of the spy as a friend. After all, it was Anna's protection that allowed Chuck to come home to Sarah every night.

"Of course not," Chuck said. "Anna would be willing to share."

Sarah laughed and playfully punched Chuck on the arm. Then a thought occurred to her, and her expression fell flat.

"I do feel sad for her," Sarah said.

Chuck looked confused. "What? Why?"

"Chuck!" Sarah said. "Think about her life. She has to be lonely. She doesn't have anyone."

"Well, I mean—"

"We should set her up with someone," Sarah said, interrupting.

Chuck laughed. "Right, because we know plenty of eligible guys who would make a great match for a jet-setting spy."

Sarah ignored Chuck's dismissal. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought over all the guys she knew who might be good for Anna. Or at least be a good distraction for the diminutive spy.

Sarah's face lit up as an idea popped into her head.

"Chuck! Whatever happened to your old roommate? What was his name? Bryce?"

Chuck's forehead crinkled in contemplation.

"Oh, wow," he said. "I haven't thought about—I think he's an accountant or something."

Bryce Larkin straightened his fedora as he casually walked down Park Avenue, having just completed another successful job. He didn't want to be cocky, but it was hard when he was just that good.

He felt a buzzing inside of his coat pocket, which was odd. He'd gotten rid of his burner cell, and there were very few people in the world that knew how to reach him on his personal line.

He pulled the phone out and was surprised to hear a voice he hadn't heard in years.

"Chuck Bartowski? Well this is a surprise."

Bryce looked over his shoulder. He wasn't safe enough to relax just yet.

"Chuck? Yeah man, I'm in the middle of something right now. Can I call you back?"

He was not an accountant.

He was not a spy.

Bryce Larkin was a step-and-a-half ahead of the FBI. And he intended to stay that way.

THE END

Final Disclaimer: Now that we're done, let me reiterate that I am not being paid for this work, and I have no claim of ownership to Chuck, Freaky Friday, Buffy, White Collar, the idea of dragons-as-fallen gods (which I totally got from Dragon Age), or anything else that may have been referenced or written about herein.

Final A/N: So I just called it a chapter. It was the easiest way. And now it's done.

First of all, I want to thank everyone that read, reviewed, PMd me, tweeted me, or just gave me and this story any acknowledgement over the years. Yes years. This story is, after all, bordering on three years old. Wow.

I know in that time span, our fandom has lost members. Be it to disinterest, changed interests, changed priorities, or whatever. And that's completely understandable. Sad in a way, but understandable.

I also want to thank Michael66 for proofreading the final five or six chapters. I sometimes cringe at the errors I make when I really get rolling with whatever I'm writing, and it makes me feel infinitely better that someone has found out those errors before the world sees it. And you did an awesome job of that, my friend.

Also, thanks to MXPW. When I first started this story, way back when, he was the one that heard my ideas, and helped me shape them. I don't think he reads my stuff anymore, but that's okay. I still want to thank him.

And a thank you to Zerectica. Z, you are a doll, and thank you for your support of Anna, and of this story. You rock!

And again, to all of my readers, so much love I can't begin to describe it. You guys are awesome. Peace.