Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer. This is just a tribute to her fantastic work.

Hostage Honeymoon

This one is purely just for fun. :)

What if: in Breaking Dawn, a week into while Bella and Edward were on their honeymoon...

Kaure & Gustavo arrive to clean the house, as described, and Edward & Bella are in a buoyant mood, watching their movie. Somewhere safe in the distance, but near enough to affect them with the fallout, a volcano erupts- spewing great clouds of ash. Edward would hear the eruption, and be prompted to check out CNN for an explanation. (Apparently it was triggered by an impromptu bomb test in the area, thus causing repercussions which Alice wouldn't have seen clearly enough to warn them about.) They learn that a great cloud raining ash is located between their island and the mainland, and is headed their direction. Any motorized boat caught trying to go through it will be stranded mid-ocean, so the cleaning crew cannot safely leave. It looks like they will be stranded with them, inside the house, for the next couple of days before the ash in the air will have settled enough to drive home through again.

Naturally, Edward & Bella are gracious hosts and invite Kaure & Gustavo to make themselves at home as best they can. The two of them make a trip out to secure their boat against the ash-fall to come, make the necessary calls to arrange things during their absence, and bring in any personal effects for their stay. When they return to the house and pass by the kitchen where Edward and Bella are talking and beginning to prepare lunch together, Kaure notices nervously that Edward is agitated now, which he wasn't before.

Well, it so happens that out on the water near their island, the 6-hand pirate crew of a drug-smuggling ship has been looking for a safe refuge from the fallout- both for themselves and for their unwilling passengers. All of them speak Portuguese, but not English. Naturally, they have pulled up to the dock at Isle Esme. Five pirates have emerged from the ship, weapons and hostages in hand, with the intent of commandeering the island during their stay- and maybe even getting some ransom out of whatever rich inhabitants might live here. They've split up into teams, intending to gather together by force whatever people are here as they surround the house and come in.

Of course, Edward knows their intentions long before they actually get to the house, and he is furious about what threat they intend to pose- even if they are only human. But, he also has a facade to keep up and a moral dilemma as well: he doesn't want to kill them, and (especially for the sake of their two innocent captives) he can't exactly send them away and expect them to be able to live through the fallout. (It would be hazardous enough for any human to breathe the air thick with ash that is quickly approaching, but the pirates' have grisly intentions that would make the plight of their hostages even worse.) As well, he doesn't want to exacerbate the fears Kaure already has concerning him (on the contrary, he'd like to be able to calm them) which would likely make it very hard for her to sleep or feel at ease any time during the next few days.

When Bella notices his tension (not so unlike Port Angeles, but tempered somewhat by his buoyant mood) and asks him what it is, he tells her what is coming toward them and she comes up with an interesting suggestion: Teach them a lesson- make them never want to come back and/or do those criminal things ever again. They both know that Bella will be absolutely safe throughout this as long as Edward is with her, and it would be good for Edward to have a more constructive way to channel his protective energy while the intruders are forced to remain in close proximity.

So, he can play the innocent yet justifiably outraged human head of the household- and make it seem that the island is haunted by a benevolent ghost that doesn't like the intruders' intentions. Tell them about the conscientious phenomenon as if it were a long-standing local story that never gave any of them any trouble. Edward can move fast enough to do what he needs to do to make it convincing without being noticed: any time a pirate decides to use a weapon against any of them, Edward will simply make it disappear. And what if they try to use their brute strength? Bella suggests: tie their shoelaces together or something- make them trip up. They won't be able to link it to him because they'll have no idea that anyone but perhaps this legendary ghost could possibly hear and respond to their thoughts before they put it into action, but surely the immediate feedback in response to their thoughts will be a very effective 'teaching' tool.

Edward can't help but chuckle at the possibilities of this idea. He is in his element after all (sun clouded over, surrounded by only humans, married to Bella!; all the humans are house-bound for the duration, none of the intruders would even suspect his abilities), and has Bella's help (just by her human presence and the fact they are a couple, not to mention her willingness) in dispelling any more-than-human suspicions they could possibly come up with. Kaure & Gustavo would see and/or hear enough about the intruders intentions to understand the danger they intended to present, and though they'd be on-edge for a while about the whole scenario, would eventually appreciate that the beneficent actions of the apparition never threaten them. As well, Edward & Bella can converse freely in English and struggle not to laugh about the whole thing, while no one else has any idea what they are talking about.

By the time the pirates actually enter the house, Edward and Bella have moved to stand in the middle of the main room, he hugging her protectively, and Kaure & Gustavo have just finished setting their personal effects into their bedrooms. Five pirates enter: the first four menacingly armed and ready (two of them continuing toward the bedrooms to bring out Kaure & Gustavo), and the last towing a couple of female teenage hostages who still have their mouths and wrists bound. Bella gasps in horrified surprise when she sees that they have hostages in tow, which fact Edward had not happened to mention. When they're not precisely looking at him, Edward does his ghostly magic- first eliminating the threat of their drawn (automatic) weapons, and then also pinching off the ropes and ties which bind the hostages- returning back each time (in the blink of an eye) to his protective pose around Bella, as if he'd always been there. Kaure & Gustavo barely get a chance to register the existence of the drawn weapons or the hostage's bonds before they are suddenly gone, and the minor chaos of suddenly confused and disabled pirates ensues.

Amidst the confusion, and by way of explanation, Edward rejoices over the fortuitous evidence of the legendary ghost and describes the legend to them in believable detail. The pirates, shaken but still skeptical and not wanting to accept their place as less-than-welcome guests in his house, decide to conveniently rearm themselves when they necessarily go back to the ship to retrieve their sick comrade. Perhaps it was just a freak occurrence. Two of them stay behind, bodily restraining the now unbound captives and threatening harm against them if anyone tries to approach. Kaure is particularly troubled by their plight.

As the three rearmed pirates come back into the house, two of them handling a stretcher between them, the ghost strikes again- smoothly eliminating the drawn weapons of the first as well as every one of the automatic weapons that had been resting over the shoulders of the other two. Shaken enough to almost drop the bundled invalid they're carrying, the two with the stretcher at least manage to deposit his bed roughly onto the floor against the wall. The ailing pirate continues writhing in maddening agony, noting between the sounds of his incessant moaning that: "it smells good in here."

Alarmed by the invalid's all-too-vampiric scent (which was noticed during his last ghostly foray) and suddenly realizing why the pirate has been so miserable, Edward is quickly on his feet to check him out, urgently asking: "How long has he been like this?" Underneath the hooded sweater and mass of blankets that he has been bundled up in for warmth, already his features are looking vampire-handsome, and his tormented red eyes are obvious to anyone who catches his gaze. They tell him it has been about 2 ½ days since they figure he was stung by some venomous sea creature. They haven't known what to do about it. Horrified, he tells Bella what's going on, and asks her to please keep herself back.

What a dilemma! All the guests are now keenly aware of the plight of this sick guy, but for their own safety (not to mention Bella's!) they cannot be around him when he snaps out of it. He can't be allowed anywhere near the house! Kaure suspects the danger he presents and will support Edward's efforts to eliminate that danger (confusing though that may be for her to do), but the rest of them don't even have a clue about it. Time is running out! How to deal with this without revealing the vampire secret?

The transforming man notices that Edward smells different, and asks between agonized noises: "Who are you?" For the time being, Edward ignores him. Instead, he turns to the Portuguese-speaking humans and proceeds to explain the situation in such a way as to distract them from any serious suspicion:

Edward: "He can't stay here."

("You can't be serious! He's sick! He needs help!")

Edward: "You don't understand. My father's a doctor, and I've seen this before. You don't want to be anywhere around him when he gets over this."

("Why?")

Edward, sighing: "He has contracted a very rare but dangerous disease. Once he gets past this period of agony- and there may be only a few hours left before he does- it'll make him go mad and become fatally contagious to anyone who is in the vicinity. There won't be anything you can do to stop it."

("Surely we can tie him down or something; there are more than enough of us.")

Edward, shaking his head, explaining: "The madness will make him strong- stronger than any of us are- and ropes won't hold him. He'll be like a rabid dog that is out of control. For a while he won't be able to keep from attacking anyone who comes near, and it won't be safe to approach him; the only choice we have is to keep him safely isolated while the disease runs its course."

("What will happen to him then?")

Edward, shrugging once: "He'll die, just like with a rabid dog."

(Shuddering and horrified; "Can't we give him anything for it?")

Edward: "No... there is no cure, here with us at least. None of the medicines we have would do any good. About all we can do now is isolate him from us, notify the proper authorities (Carlisle, Alice...), and hope that he won't have to suffer too much more before its over."

Edward then proceeds to explain the isolation option. He has a spare boat on the island they could put him in, which would be enough to protect him from the worst of the ash storm. They could set the pirate inside and anchor it offshore to keep him isolated from them in his madness. He would still be just as much of a danger to any unsuspecting others who came across him, but at least during the ash storm, that is not likely. By the time the storm is over, if it hasn't proved too late for him already, the authorities should have been able to respond and neutralize the threat.

(Setting him out in the storm? "Isn't there anything else we can do?")

Edward, quietly: "We could put him out of his misery."

("What? How can you even suggest that?")

Edward: "Has he not been asking you to kill him for the last 2 ½ days? In this particular instance, it might have been the kindest thing to do. He's already as good as dead," and then more quietly: "One way or another, he can never be around his family again."

("Why not?")

Edward, quietly again: "No matter how short a time you had left, if you were in his shoes- would you want to have to live out the rest of your life knowing that you killed everyone you cared about in a blind moment of madness?"

("No, no, of course not.")

Edward: "The best we can do is keep him isolated. We can help him avoid that pitfall, at least. And it will be a protection for us."

("Why does it even matter what makes it easier for him, if that's what he would do to us?")

Edward: "Because he didn't ask for this any more than you did."

Edward: "So, you have to make a choice. What would you have me do?"

While everyone is still discussing the situation, trying (and failing) to come up with any more palatable options, Edward tells Bella the whole story. Before they all have time to come into agreement with his conclusion, however, he hears the agonized pirate's heart beat speed up toward the completion of his transformation, and the intensity of his moaning changes. "We're out of time," he tells them. "I'll get him out on the boat." Touching her cheek, he tells Bella: "I'll be right back," and then says to Kaure & Gustavo as he's passing by: "Watch out for her for me, would you?" Then he carefully picks up the almost-vampire man in his arms and walks quickly to and out the front door- disappearing in a flash once he's out of their sight.

Vigilantly monitoring events inside the house while he does so, Edward carries the almost-done-transforming pirate out to the ship and promptly drives the boat a ways off-shore where it can stay at anchor, upwind. As he is lowering the anchor, the new vampire wakes up- and Edward briefly explains what he is as well as what his options are and why. (If he is interested, Edward will call some of his family down to help him settle in to their lifestyle. They would meet him out here on the water.) Finally, as he's leaving to return to the house, Edward warns him: "Know this: the humans here are under my protection. If you value your life, don't step foot on this island to come after them." Then Edward jumps into the water and disappears in a swimming sprint back to the house.

Inside, three of the intruders (the ones who appear to be at least as strongly muscled as Edward is, and who do not already have hostages in-hand) have finally gotten over their shock and decided to take the opportunity to use their secondary weapons (knives) to bully Gustavo, Kaure, & Bella into submission. They intend to hold the three of them restrained, wrists behind their backs, as insurance against resistance from Edward (the only apparently significant opponent among them), so that when he comes back they will still come out on top in spite of their ghostly setbacks. They haven't quite manhandled them yet, however. Suddenly, in a light gust of wind the ghost does his magic again- and those intruders are left stunned and weaponless just seconds before Edward opens the front door to come back in. (The ghost had entered through the open window.) In the background, the first flakes of ash are just now beginning to fall.

After quickly assessing the situation (or so it would appear), Edward steps up furiously to the ringleader, fists clenched and jaw tight- glaring at him as if with enough force to bore a hole through his head- while his carefully controlled voice raises in anger: "I step out for a moment to, among other things, save your pathetic life- and what do you do while I'm gone but threaten my wife! How do you think that makes me feel?"

Abruptly forgetting how formidable they thought they would be against him, the tough men quail under his staggering anger. They won't cross Edward any more after this. In the midst of this (ignoring Kaure's silent objection), Bella steps forward to grasp Edward's tensed arm and calm the situation; he immediately relaxes, puts his arm around her waist, and hugs her to his side. The pirates acknowledge to Edward that they won't threaten 'his girl', but silently resist the idea of giving up control over the no-longer-bound hostages that they brought with them. Edward replies to this thought in a calm voice nevertheless imbued with indisputable authority: "Let me get one thing straight. While you are in my house, you will abide by my rules. There will be no hostages in my home. Do I make myself clear?" The pirates nod apprehensively and instantly release whatever holds they still have on the captured young women (who are quick to step away to the other side of Edward, into Kaure's welcoming arms). In another second or two, Edward's glare relaxes also, and he turns away from them to resume the activities of their day.

The first order of business is to call Alice, but when Edward tries to, he finds that the ash storm has disrupted cell-phone service. So, he won't be able to know for sure whether the vampire will give him any more trouble, or the pirates. For now, it seems he can't even call them down for help to orient this newborn- although Alice might come anyway if she sees him in her visions. Currently, the new vampire's thoughts are still quite confused and disoriented as he tries to digest everything Edward told him. He doesn't want to get himself killed.

While everyone else moves nervously to get themselves situated for the duration of their stay (the girls will be staying in the white room with Kaure, across the hall from Edward & Bella, and Gustavo will be staying next door to them; the pirates can split between the two rooms on the far side of the house), Bella collects her laundry and starts a load in the washer, then fishes through her wardrobe for a few more necessary pieces so that she will be able to offer each of the women at least another change of clothes (if not two; luckily they're all rather slight, like she is).

While she's doing so, Edward comments wryly to her, saying: "Your bad luck would get us hijacked on our honeymoon."

Bella: "What do you mean my bad luck? I thought everything that was mine is yours now, too."

Edward, smiling contentedly in reply: "Mmm, so it is." He wraps his arms around her.

Bella, touching her finger to his nose, and then drawing it down his chest: "And it's not all bad- it brought me you. Would you really rather I wasn't a danger magnet?"

Edward, sighing: "You always ask the hard questions."