A Cosmic Joke

A Grey's Anatomy fic by Gigi

Disclaimer: I own diddlysquat.

Chapter 4: 3, 2, 1…

A/N: My constant apologies for taking so long to update are probably insanely redundant by now. But they're there. So sorry!

Three Days Left

"So," Naomi began as she sat on her sofa in her house in Santa Monica, "how goes the waiting?"

Addison groaned and fell backwards onto her plush bed at the Archfield. "It's killing me."

"You know what's killing me?" Naomi asked amid a sudden fit of giggles. "The fact that Addison Forbes Montgomery, world-class, double-board-certified OB/GYN and neonatal surgeon forgot that she could have test her blood after one week instead of waiting for two weeks to take an at-home test."

Slowly, Addison sat up, a shell-shocked expression on her face. "I really did forget about bloodwork," she said with wonder in her voice at her intense lapse in memory. "Something must be growing inside me for me to forget that, especially since it's my specialty."

"Well, let's just hope it's a baby and not some sort of cancerous tumor," her best friend laughed.

"You're incredibly comforting. I hope you know that," she commented dryly. Standing up and searching for the shoes she'd kicked off upon entering the hotel room, Addison glared in the direction she blindly guess was towards LA. "You're really enjoying my major space cadet moment, aren't you?"

Naomi's laughted answered her. "Yes, I am, Miss Perfect Recall."

"I don't have perfect recall, and it's not my fault I generally have a good memory," the redhead growled, hopping around as she tried to put on her shoes with one hand.

"Except when it comes to your own specialty, apparently."

"Hey," Addison called as she straightened, purse in her tense grip. "Not a word of this to anyone. I'm invoking the oath."

Addison could practically hear Naomi pout over the phone. "I don't think there has ever been a time where I've wanted to break doctor-patient confidentiality more than I do now."

"Resist, my friend, for your medical license," Addison urged.

Frustrated mumbling filtered through the connection. Then silence as Naomi registered a faint rustling sound coming through the phone. "You're going back to the hospital, aren't you?"

Addison didn't reply except to shush her friend as she closed the hotel behind her.

Heels clicked through the hallway, confusing Alex to no end as he struggled to focus on updating a chart. He knew for a fact that Addison had left for the day, and no other person was crazy enough or had the stamina to walk around the giant hospital in heels all day. Maybe he was just imagining things. The baby stuff was just making him lose sleep and resulted in auditory hallucinations of the possible mother of his child. Yeah, that was it. Satisfied with his reasoning, Alex returned his attention to his chart.

"Karev!"

Alright, so maybe he wasn't hallucinating. Alex's head whipped up to see Addison walking toward him with a glint of determination in her eye, which only served to confuse the intern more. "I thought you left for the day," he declared.

Eyeing the two nurses peering at her curiously—they, too, had seen her leave not an hour before—Addison answered carefully. "I did, but there's a patient I forgot to check up on, so come on."

"Why do I have to—?" Addison cut off his protest with a sharp don't-you-dare-start-whining-at-me-mister look, and Alex started following her, mumbling a disgruntled, "Okay."

Addison led him to an empty exam room and started rifling around in the cabinets. Alex watched her for a few seconds before asking, "Uh, Dr. Montgomery? What are you doing?"

"Not a word of this to anyone, Karev," she warned and continued pulling out the supplies to draw blood. That was beginning to become her catchphrase.

"A word of what?" he repeated, frustration lacing his voice.

Pausing in assembling the tray of supplies, Addison bit her lip and regarded her intern uncertainly. "A blood test can show if you're pregnant a week after conception, and I, an OB/GYN, actually forgot that little factoid."

Alex stared at his boss in shock for two seconds before chuckles began to bubble out of him. He realized that he should have also remembered that fact, but he couldn't help but find it incredibly amusing that the world-class OB/GYN forgot.

"I should have said no laughing," the redhead grumbled. Alex only laughed more, finding her embarrassment somewhat endearing. "Shut up and take my blood."

Alex's chuckling subsided as he moved the tray next to the exam table, upon which Addison sat. "Why am I doing this?"

"Because it is much easier to take blood without bruising if you're taking it from someone other than yourself," she explained, taking a slightly pedantic tone. "Besides, you have to take it down to the lab for testing."

"You must love being an attending," Alex muttered.

"Being your boss? Oh, yes, very much," Addison agreed. "That way I can make you do scut work if you're bugging me." That earned her an annoyed glance from her intern.

Alex held up the needle in his gloved hand. "Try not to both the person sticking you," he threatened lightly, "unless you want some unnecessary bruising."

"You bruise me, you get to spend the next week observing my surgeries from the OR," Addison threatened right back without missing a beat.

As Alex proceeded to take Addison's blood, both doctors couldn't help but smile to themselves. There was a snowball's chance in Hell that either of them would admit it, but they both had way too much fun bickering with one another to stop, even just before they discovered whether or not they were going to be parents.

A dull, rhythmic, four-thud sequence drummed throughout the empty exam room from Addison, unable to keep her fingers still, allowing her left hand to continuously tap a tattoo into the countertop. Addison, for once, thanked her mother fervently in her mind for always making sure she never developed the habit of biting her nails. As she stared down at her perfectly manicured hands, fingers tipped with a translucent pink polish, she was grateful that she could channel her anxiety in a way that didin't include the disgusting habit. There was a lock of her hair, however, that was noticeably curlier, hanging over her right shoulder, the result of it being constantly twirled around her index finger. Alex was taking far too long returning with the blood work for her liking.

Finally, after about five more minutes of impatient foot-tapping, hair-twirling and finger-drumming, Alex burst into the exam room holding her file.

"That was possibly the longest walk of my life," he exhaled, shoving the chart into the redhead's hands.

Pausing just before she was about to open the folder, Addison furrowed her brow in confusion. "I didn't think you were that out of shape, Karev," she commented wryly, which earned her a glare from her intern.

"You try walking with the lab results that can change your life and not looking at them then and there."

"Touché," Addison ceded.

Alex gave an exasperated groan. "Will you just open the file?"

Addison jumped as she realized once again just exactly what she was holding. She couldn't believe she'd even forgotten for a second. Without another word, she flipped open the chart and read the blood work results.

When she kept staring at the folder, Alex, who couldn't see her face from his position, prodded, "Well?"

Addison raised her head and regarded Alex with tears in her eyes. A radiant smile broke out onto her face. "I'm pregnant."

A/N: Aren't you so happy I didn't drag it out longer? Now we're about to get into the juicy stuff! But first you need to do me a favor: REVIEW!