Disclaimer: My name is not Dan Schneider.

Sam walked into the pearly-pink pillow of a place, wrinkling her nose. Each time she came in, it managed to look even girlier, if that was even possible. She'd grown accustomed to the perky, possibly-on-uppers blonde girl that always greeted her at the door, even though she had not once said anything back to her.

She glanced around the store to make sure no one she knew was here. As far as Carly and Freddie knew, she was "doing her homework," which they all usually knew meant that she was at the convenience store buying way too many Fat Cakes than she should, but when it came time for her monthly trip to Build-A-Bra, it meant neither of those things.

Sam almost choked on the sugar-sweet smell of vanilla as she moved over to the patterned bras. Polka-dot, zebra, tie-dye, striped…nothing piqued her interest. She moseyed on over to some other patterns until she found –

Ribs? Sam found it hard to contain her glee. A rib-patterned bra? It was too good to be true, but it was.

There was just one problem…they were all too small.

Sam looked around the store to see if there was a salesgirl to help her. Across the room, she saw a dark-haired boy, around her age, folding some push-up bras. He had broad shoulders and not too bad of a build. No piercings or tattoos, as she could see, which was usually a must, but he seemed too good to pass up. Besides, he was the only salesperson in sight. She strode up to him, bra in hand, and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Excuse me, do you have this in a bigger—?"

"SAM?" The boy shrieked in shock once he had turned around and seen her face.

"NUB?" Sam was horrified.

"Y-You come to Build-A-Bra?" Freddie asked, obviously as traumatized as Sam.

"You work at Build-A-Bra?" Sam mirrored.

"Uh, I kinda need the money. And…" Freddie put his hand on the back of his neck, trying to calm himself down. "And no, we don't have it in a bigger cup size. Not at the moment, at least." He looked her up and down, and Sam regretted ever stepping foot in his direction.

"Tell anyone about this and you're a dead man." Sam jabbed her pointer finger into Freddie's chest with every ounce of force she had.

"S-Same to you." Freddie tried to match her aggressiveness.

Sam stiffened her back and walked back to the patterned bras, blindly choosing one covered in pastel-colored cupcakes with faces. Trying to ignore Freddie, she walked angrily to the register and slammed the bra and a twenty-dollar bill onto the check-out counter.

"Ring me up, Gibson," Sam said gruffly to the shirtless cashier.

"Sure thing," Gibby smirked. He had obviously seen the interaction between her and Freddie.

"Don't say a word," Sam growled, giving Gibby eye-daggers.

"Sure thing," he repeated.

A/N – This was so fun to write.