Legal Stuff: I don't own Naruto.

It was very late and the only reason Tsunade was still sitting behind her desk was because her mind couldn't focus on doing anything else. She was drinking when she heard a knock at the office door.

"Enter."

Naruto entered without a word. He quickly walked up to where she sat.

"I found this amongst Jiraiya's things,"

He handed her a sealed envelope that had her name delicately written on it.

"Thank you."

Naruto left quickly. She presumed he still had more work to do sorting through all the items left in Jiraiya's tiny apartment. She had been relieved when Naruto had volunteered to handle the task. She didn't think she could handle going through Jiraiya's stuff.

She opened the envelope. The letter inside exhibited penmanship every bit as careful as that found on the envelope.

It read:

Dearest Tsunade,

I must have written a hundred letters like this one. I've crumbled up at least a thousand more, and I don't even know how many times I've tried to give these words a voice. What fails me is neither my pen nor my heart from which every thought of you flows. The thing that always fails me is my spirit. I want to tell you all these things, but when I try all that comes out is something beyond inept.

When I was young I made the worst mistake of my life. I spied on a beautiful blonde. Oh how she made me pay for it, not with the beating she gave me, but with something much worse. Her beauty stole my heart away never to be returned.

I have spent nearly forty years trying to get it back. I spent hours spying on younger women trying to find one woman whose beauty could surpass yours so that I could give up on the one woman I could never have. In all that searching I have found not one soul who could compare.

I write because in those stories I could forget, for a time, how unworthy of you I was. As I wrote I could just imagine what life with you would be like.

I have failed so many people in so many ways. However, my greatest regret is that I lack the courage and the dignity to tell you all these things. I have dreamed of a chance to, just once, kiss you, and tell you all the words in my heart that I can think of no way to express. I have dreamed even more of finding one way to be deserving of your love and wake up every morning next to you.

In spite of my dreams I feel powerless. Even as I write this I know that I will never send it. I'll never be able to speak the three words that forever echo in my heart when I look upon you.

If by some chance you ever get this letter please forgive this old fool. Forgive me for these words, but most of all forgive me for waiting so long to tell them to you. I love you. I always have and I always will.

With all the Love in my heart,

Jiraiya

Once Tsunade finished the letter she sat still for a moment. After a minute she reached out to check her sake bottle. There was enough for just two more cups.

She opened the drawer in her desk and put away the ochoko she had been drinking from. Then she pulled out two sakazuki that she kept for special occasions, and a picture that not even Shizune knew about.

The picture was of her and her team from so long ago. She filled the two sakazuki and set one in front of the picture.

Looking at the image of Jiraiya she said, "I'll forgive you if you can forgive this old fool for not being the woman you needed and for letting you hold onto those words for too long."

She tipped back her drink and then tried her best not to cry too much.