This is an AU. Takes place when Sheppard is back on Earth when the Ancients kicked them out of Atlantis.
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John Sheppard was knocking on the door to his fathers house. While he was waiting for the door to open, a lot of thoughts ran through his mind.
It was 4 years since he last spoke to his father. He found out after he returned to Earth that his father had tried to contact him two months after they had left to find Atlantis.
Last time he didn't feel like going, but this time… General O'Neill forced him to take some leave and leave the base in the Cheyenne Mountain. And he made him go home to his family on thanksgiving. He hated the Ancients more than anything right now. And he hated O'Neill for making him celebrate a holiday with people who didn't like him.
"John!" A grey haired old man opened the door. John recognized the man, but he looked much older than he remembered.
"Dad!" John shook his hand. John didn't know what else to say, so there was this awkward silence until his father said.
"Ah, come in John. You are the last one to arrive. Everyone is waiting."
"Ev.. everyone?" John stammered.
"You remember what it used to be like, son? Thanksgiving is family time. Or have you forgot?" Patrick looked at his son, taking in every detail. He was older than he remembered, small scars on his face and neck, but nothing to visible. And he looked guarded. Like he was afraid of being hurt.
"Um… yeah, sure I remember." John followed him inside.
Once inside John was surrounded by family members hugging him and telling him it was good to see him again. John was uncomfortable with all the hugging, but no one seemed to notice, they were all happy to see him again.
"Still got your nose in the sky, little brother?" His brother suddenly had him in the biggest bear hug he'd had in years.
"I'm a pilot. It's where my nose suppose to be." He replied quickly. His brother laughed.
"I've missed you, John." Dave said.
"Missed you too." John said a bit awkwardly.
"Then why haven't you been home?" Dave suddenly turned serious. "We tried to contact you, but they said you where MIA. When did you get back?"
"Two weeks ago." A female voice cut him from answering more.
"Where is that idiot of a kid brother I have?" Kate Sheppard elbowed her way through the crowed and hugged her brother tightly. She suddenly began crying."Idiot! You know that. I thought I'd never see you again."
"I'm sorry, Kate." John sounded sincere.
"You haven't even seen little Johnny!" She said holding him at arms length so she had a better look at him. "Well, you look pale, thin and exhausted."
"Hence why I'm here." John replied seriously. "I'm on sick leave."
"How long?" She asked.
"Another 2 weeks."
"This is my husband Matt, by the way. He is a cop and the father of Johnny!" Kate introduced a tall man with broad shoulders. He looked like a big friendly bear to John.
"Nice to meet you, Matt." John shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you to, at last." Matt said seizing his brother in law up and down. John smirked looking down on a boy with black messy hair, standing behind his father.
"And I'm guessing you are Johnny!" John sat down on one knee and waved the boy over. "You have the famous Sheppard hair, that is a good thing."
"What is good about that?" His sister asked sarcastically. John hugged his little nephew. Ignoring his sister he asked Johnny.
"How old are you?" The little boy held up his hand and showed him 5 fingers. "So. In about 10 years time, I think your mother will know. It's all in the hair." The boy looked at him seriously and nodded.
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Later that night when most of the family members where gone home, John was exhausted. He was sitting on the couch with a sleepy Johnny next to him.
"What happened to your arm, uncle John?" He trailed his finger on a long scar on his arm. John looked at the scar for a moment. He winched as he remembered how a villain had driven a knife straight through it and in to the wooden floor. Beaten half to death and left to die slowly and painful. Dave noticed the look on Johns face, but all of a sudden the look was gone. A smirk was on Johns face as he looked down on the boy.
"I had a really bad day, that's all."
"Say goodnight, Johnny. Time for bed." Kate hurried the boy along when he had said his good nights.
"Bad day?" Dave questioned.
"It really was a bad one." John was shaking his head.
"So, what really happened?" Matt asked. John looked at them for a while.
"A guy drove a big knife through it." John rubbed his arm, remembering the pain.
"John!" John turned around and saw Patrick stand in the doorway to the living room. He motioned for his youngest son to follow him. John got up from the couch and followed his father to the kitchen.
"Dad?" John wondered what his father wanted.
"When are you coming home, son?" His question wasn't a demand or angry, he sounded disappointed and somewhat defeated. It was the last thing John expected from his father, so he was quiet for a long time, while trying to figure out what to say.
"I've been home for a long time, dad." John swallowed. "I've found my home." John saw the sadness in his fathers eyes.
"So, your brother has to run the business all by himself, when the time comes?" The hurt in his fathers voice was evident.
"Dave is a smart man, he can do it. Besides there are many skilled men and women out there who needs to work."
"They are not family!" His father stated angrily. John recognized his father now. The angry man telling him what to do.
"Neither am I, or have you forgot." John said in a low voice almost as a whisper, his voice filled with sadness as he glanced up at his father. Patrick took five long steps and stood in front his son. He embraced his son, holding him tight while he whispered.
"I thought it would make you stay at home, here with us. This is where you belong."
"No, dad. I don't. I made a home for myself and I'm not leaving." Patrick let him go, took a step back. He looked at him, studying him. Trying to figure out how serious his sons statement was.
"You got until morning, John." Patrick cupped Johns face and made him look him in the eyes. "Us or the Air Force." Patricks eyes where cold as ice. John nodded disappointed and hurt.
"When do you want me out of the house?" John asked in return.
"Tomorrow." Patrick said as he turned around and walked out of the kitchen.
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John had to take a few moments to pull himself together, then he walked back into the living room. Two of Matts friends had arrived while he had been gone.
"John, finally! Meet Bob and Eric, they work with Matt." Kate smiled at him.
"Hi, nice to meet you." John said, sitting down on the couch. Dave handed him a beer. "Thanks, Dave."
"What did the old man want?" Dave asked. John glanced at Dave.
"Same old. Nothing new."
"That bad, hu?" Dave asked. John took a big sip of his beer.
"For me? Not so much." John answered.
The conversation went on for hours. The conversation had evolved into a game of poker. John didn't have any problems figuring the others out, so he won quite few of the games. That was until Kate decided to tell on him.
"Still count cards, John?" John looked at his sister, grinning like an idiot.
"yup!"
"Hey, that's cheating!" Matt almost shouted.
"Really?" John raised his brow towards his brother in law.
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In the background the door bell rang and Kate went to open it.
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Matt and John got into a play fight and rolled around on the floor. Pretending to be hurting each other until a angry voice broke them up.
"John Sheppard! If you tore those stitches again I'll put you in a coma." John froze on top of Matt and stared into one angry Jennifer Keller. John slowly got up on his feet.
"Hi Doc! What are you doing here?" He looked a little guilty.
"Checking up on you. What do you think?" Jennifer had her arms crossed and looked like a thundercloud. "Men!"
"What's wrong with John?" Kate asked concerned.
"Nothing!" "Lots" Was answered at the same time by John and Jennifer.
"Meaning?" Kate was confused.
"Meaning it's not any of your business." John stated calmly and gave a stern glare at Jennifer.
"Well, is there somewhere we can talk in private? I need to examine you as well."
"I'm fine, Doc. You don't have to…" Jennifer held up a finger at him.
"Do you have a medical degree? No? After you, flyboy!" John resigned and started to walk to his room without saying anything else.
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"What was that all about?" Patrick came from his home office. "And who was that woman?"
"That was Dr. Jennifer Keller, she is apparently Johns doctor." Kate answered.
"Why does he need a doctor?" Patrick asked concerned.
"We don't know. He wouldn't say." Dave replied just as concerned.
Patrick followed John and Jennifer to the room. He stopped outside the door and listened in on the conversation.
"So, this used to be your room?" Patrick heard a female voice.
"Yep!"
"Take off your shirt! Lots of planes in here."
"I'm a pilot, remember."
He heard laughter and sounds of clothes coming off.
"Indeed you are, flyboy." She said in a teasing voice. "Does it hurt?"
"No, not really."
"Are you taking the pain meds?" There was a long pause. "I'll take that as a no, shall I?"
"So, what is the verdict Doc? Will I live to fight another day?"
In that moment Patrick opened the door quietly, John was standing with his back towards him and what Patrick saw made him ill. On his back there where many red stripes and bruises. Jennifer saw him and her eyes widened. John turned around and saw his father standing there, pale and to shocked to say anything.
"Dad? What.." John tried to talk to him, but Patrick backed away in a hurry and then walked as fast as he could away from there.
"Great, just what I needed." John said with a worried look.
"I'm sorry, John." Jennifer said with one hand on his arm.
"It's ok, Jen, Not your fault." John tried to smile, but failed miserably.
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Jennifer apologized again before he left. And John returned into the house and found his father in the living room talking angrily with Kate and Dave.
"Dad! You ok?" John asked carefully. Patrick turned and saw John in the doorway.
"No. I'm not, John." Patricks voice was low and filled with rage. "Is that how the Air Force is treating you? Even an idiot can see that you have been tortured. What happened?" John bit his lower lip, hands in his pocket and staring straight at his father. He said nothing.
His father continued. "You really choose living a life like that? Over us? We are your family? You choose the Air Force over us?" Patrick stared coldly at his youngest son.
"Yes." John answered quietly , but firmly.
"Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?
"No," John was shaking his head sadly.
"I want you out of my house tonight." Patrick turned and walked away.
Kate was crying, Dave was shocked and Matt and his friends where just sitting there. No one knew what to say.
It was silent for a long time. John cleared his trout.
"He sure knows how to kill a party!" John tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. Kate hugged him tightly.
"He didn't mean it, John. Don't go. I don't want to lose you again."
"We've had this conversation once before, remember?" John said softly to his sister. "He's never going to accept me. We both know that. I guess it's for the best."
"John." Dave said quietly. "Call us every once in a while, will you?"
"He'll cut you off if he finds out." John replied.
"I don't care. You're my brother for heaven's sake."
"I do." John turned and walked towards his room to get his bag.
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John stopped outside his fathers office, the door was open and he saw him working on some papers.
"Dad?" John saw Patrick lift his head and look at him.
"John? You want something?" He asked with an emotionless voice.
"You know." John started. Swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I should probably thank you." Patrick looked questioning at John. "You made me strong enough to take the pain. The four days of torture that I went through. The beating, the whipping, the way they tortured my team. They tortured my friends, in front of me, to make me tell. It's nothing compared to how much you hurt me. You always knew how to make the pain worse than anything else I've ever experienced. It's all your doing. You should be proud of yourself." Johns voice was bitter, but he kept it low and fairly calm. "I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be."
John took one last look at his father. He was back to reading his papers. John wiped a tear away, smiled sadly before he walked away.
He never stopped to look back.
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