Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Lost

Chapter 3

Lost Balls

It seemed that ever since Jacob returned from the Cullen's he had lost something. Everyone noticed it, but for some odd reason I think I noticed it first. …. He started moping around like a lost puppy with no purpose in life. I sighed as I watched him eat breakfast while sitting silently at the kitchen table. As his beta I was mildly concerned, but as a person who does not actually like him, I couldn't care less. He shoveled the cereal in the bowl in front of him in his mouth in large spoonfuls, obviously not caring if he spilled milk all over himself.

"Hey pig, watch what you're doing," I groaned at him from across the table. The sight was disgusting me. He was a grown man and grown men are not supposed to eat like five year olds. What was next? Was he going to throw his cereal at me like a fussy child would do to his or her mother?

"Pig? That's a new one," he grumbled weakly. His voice did not have its usual push or spirit behind it. Jacob's face remained looking down into the contents of his bowl as he spoke. I bit my lip in thought. What was up his ass?

"It matches your actions. You look like a zombie; didn't you sleep?" I asked. My bitter tone overrode the concern that was in my voice.

"First I was a pig and now, I'm a zombie. Make up your mind, Leah!" Jacob's head popped up and he glared directly at me. The glare didn't bother me, but my eyebrow twitched as he spat my name at me. He was definitely not in the mood to deal with me today. … Sucks for him.

"My mind is made up. You're a zombie pig, happy?" I smirked. He did not seem to be in a good enough condition to have an all out brawl with me, but he started it which meant I was going to finish it.

"Bitch," he growled, tossing the bowl into the sink. It shattered on contact with its metal surface. He would probably get in trouble for that.

"Nasty, nasty." I clicked my tongue. Did he really think that would scare me? Oh my! He broke his bowl by throwing it into the sink! I'm shaking! It was so scary!

Jacob marched outside and down the steps of the porch. He was heading for the woods. With a groan I followed him. His even pace was easy enough to keep up with. I stopped when he stopped. Without me noticing we were at the cliff that we were at two days ago. We were both standing by the cliff. He was closer to the edge looking over it. While I was a couple feet behind him, just watching and waiting for what he was going to do next.

Without putting much thought into it, I had discovered what Jacob Black had lost. The two things he lost were one of the most important things to guys of all ages. And Renesmee basically kicking him to the curb was the low and excruciating blow that obviously caused it. Jacob Black had lost his balls. I did not honestly blame him though. First Bella picked Edward over him and now her daughter also picked another guy over him as well.

But his will, his power was gone. I sighed and glanced at him again. He was broken for the second time in his life. Poor thing. I frowned, while my mind raced. I felt bad, probably for the first time, when it concerned him, anyway. For some reason I felt like I should do something, anything, at least make him smile.

"You know, I think you could do better than crazy bloodsuckers. If they think they're too good for you they're not worth it." My eyes were glued to him as I noticed he started shaking when I said bloodsuckers. He was getting angry. Angry was better than sad, in my book. "I'm just saying I know how you feel Jake." I said with a softer and more considerate tone.

"How the hell do you know how I feel?" Jacob yelled in my face. He must be so angry, he is not thinking straight because that was a stupid question.

"Oh, lets see, the love of my life left me for another person. Oh yeah, and that other person was my cousin who was like a sister to me." I glared at him and continued. "So no Jake, I don't know how it feels. You're the only one who has ever gotten his heart chopped in half and then stomped on." Without another word Jacob jumped up from where he was sitting and started walking away from me. In the process he ripped off his shirt and then started to take off his pants. I ground my teeth together; I knew what he was doing.

"Don't you dare run away again! You're not a little puppy anymore Jake. You're the alpha now. Sam can't take over for you when you feel like getting away from everything." I ran after him. Thankfully he stopped not too far away. I glared at the back of his head waiting for him to turn around and face me.

"Be a man!" I spat, and that was what did it. Jacob spun around and faced me, just like I wanted him to. I had never seen him this mad before. His jaw was clenched tightly, and his entire body was shaking. The wolf inside was itching to come out.

"Lock yourself up in your room, blast your crappy music in your garage, or go for a run. I don't care, but … come back!"

"You're only acting like you care because you don't want to be stuck as Sam's beta." He yelled back at me. Both pairs of our angry eyes locked together. Unfortunately, we were both stubborn as hell. This was going to be a long day. Though, He did have a small point. I would rather ignore the pack entirely than be Sam's beta.

"So? It doesn't matter why I care, just that I do." I crossed my arms and looked away from his dark eyes. The sound of the ocean breaking below the cliff filled my ears. "Running away won't help you get over her, or her mother. But to be honest, the half-breed bloodsucker must be out of her mind to pick what's his face over you." I shook my head in disgust and sat down close to the edge, but far enough away so I would not fall.

"She said his name was Conner." He sat down beside me. His shirt and pants were still off. I mentally berated myself for glancing at his torso for too long. I should not be noticing the large firm looking muscles on my alpha. Thankfully, he was still in his blue boxers. Polka dots, really?

"Ughh, that name disgusts me. I bet you ten bucks he wears pink shirts with white pants and plays golf." I made a puking noise and what Jacob did next surprised me. He … he laughed. His laugh sounded big as it rumbled through his chest and came out of his mouth. I felt my face form a small smile. It was good to hear him laugh.

"We'll see I guess, but why would Nessie be out of her mind not to pick me?" he asked with an evil smirk. Ew, he was feeling better already?

"Well..." I paused, and a blush spread across my cheeks he thought that I meant that I thought he had good qualities that a girl would want in her life partner. "There is nothing wrong with you... that I know of." My blush disappeared; hopefully my bitter tone saved me from showing too much emotion.

"Oh." He grunted his reply, but it sounded like something was there as well. Disappointment? Nah! I shook my head again and looked down at the waves. powerful and beautiful. The blue water hit the rocks below making the white foam.

"There is nothing wrong with you either, freak." Jacob kicked out his foot so it hit my leg that was closest to him. Didn't Billy teach him to keep his dirty feet to himself?

"Thanks for noticing Jakey-" I froze once I turned towards him. Finishing his nickname was forgotten. I had planned to punch his arm really hard, but his face was closer to me than I expected it to be. I bit my lip in confusion and started to lean away from him. What was he doing?

"Don't run away Leah." he said with a cocky expression. What was he getting at? Little punk.

"Run away from wha-" I did not finish the what in my question. Why? I don't know maybe because Jacob Black decided it would be an awesome idea to place his hand on the back of my head and push my lips to his. It was innocent kiss, but when it was over my jaw was slightly lower. Maybe he didn't lose his balls after all. My eyes searched his for the truth. Did he just do this because he was hurting on the inside or did it actually mean something? My thoughts were jumbled again when kissed me for the second time. This time it was less innocent. He pulled me closer to him and farther away from the cliff so we wouldn't fall.

With a low growl I got up and started walking away. My mind was blank I did not even know how to react to that. It was wrong. He's younger than me, although being a werewolf slows down both of our aging processes so it could work ... I suppose.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Jacob quickly said, following me in the process. I spun on my heel to face him. His face looked sorry enough. Oh, what the hell? What could it hurt? After taking a few steps I grabbed a fist full of his hair and pulled him closer to me. Thankfully he did not have to be told what to do; he just knew to kiss me again. As every second went by the kiss lost more and more innocence until we were both lying on the ground naked, tired, and sweaty. We just had … I could not even say the three lettered word in my head. I sighed softly and glanced at him. His eyes were closed and he looked entirely comfortable with his head resting lightly on the ground. Jake snuggled me closer into his arms. I did not resist, but instead melted into his warmth and complete comfort.

The next time my eyes opened the sun was setting. We were lying here on the bare ground together all afternoon. Oh my god! Slowly I pulled away from him without waking him up and grabbed all of my clothes. I kept an eye on him while I got all of my clothes back on and ran back to the house quietly.

I let that happen. He did not know what he was doing. He was in pain and grieving over his imprint, the imprint that rejected him. He did not really feel anything for me, and because of our actions nothing will ever be the same. All of a sudden I felt trapped. I had to leave this house … This town.

I jogged up the stairs as quickly as possible to get to my room …well Rebecca's room. Pulling out all of my stuff I repacked it inside my bags. In my rush I ignored being neat and did not even fold my clothes. I just stuffed them in as fast as I was capable of. Thankfully I plugged in my cell phone the night before so it was all ready. I called my friend Jeanne.

"Jea, can you pick me up at the Black house?" I asked her into the phone.

"Sure, I'll be right there," she said, urgently. I could hear her get up from where she was and rush outside through the receiver before she hung up. I guess I did not hide the panic in my voice as well as I thought I did.

She was there within minutes like she said she would be. As I tossed my things in the backseat of her car, Seth came back from wherever he was. He walked up the path, but stopped when he noticed what I was doing. I stepped inside the car and closed the door. Jeanne started the engine after I looked at her.

"Leah? Where are you going?" he asked running towards the car.

"Leah…" she said my name slowly. I did not have to explain myself to my little brother. I just needed to leave. I know I was doing the same thing I told Jake not to do, but this seems necessary. For some reason this feels like the right and only thing to do. Seth knocked on the glass trying to get my attention. All I could do was stare at the dash board, before saying, "Just go" to Jeanne.

"LEAH!" I heard my brother yell after me. I betrayed myself and looked back in the side mirror, as Jeanne turned the car around. I could not believe my eyes. Jake was standing next to Seth staring at the car as she finally put it into drive. I tried not looking at his face, but I did anyway. It was not wearing a happy expression.

"Leah! Where are you going?" Jake voice boomed through the closed windows.

"You sure about this?" my friend asked one more time. The whole time she gave me this look. The same look she always gave when she thought I was overreacting about something. According to her I overreacted to mostly everything, and maybe she was right.

"Yeah, train station please." She frowned and stepped heavily on the gas pedal, making the dirt spit out behind the tires on my brother and the person … I just slept with.

I stared out the window as she drove. The ride was silent until we were pulling in to the train station's parking lot.

"What happened?" Jeanne pulled into the first open spot she could find and turned to face me. "Leah … seriously tell me. You know it will make you feel better." She was right. Whenever something happened and I tell her, I do feel a little tiny bit better. Jeanne had that something about her. You could spill your soul on the table and she would make you feel better about anything. Even if you committed murder or something as terrible she could make you feel less guilty.

"I slept with Jake." I blinked my eyes and stared forward. I willed myself not to look into her eyes because I knew she would change my mind about leaving.

"So? He's gotten magically good looking in the past year." Did she seriously just say that to me? It did not matter how good looking Jacob Black was. I did something that was …. I don't even know how to describe what it was that I did.

"So? He was pining for the loss of another girl and then we started kissing and it went farther than I expected it to." I turned to face her forgetting about her magic powers.

"It does mean something since he tried to stop you. I saw his face and so did you." She shrugged. "But I'm going to let you do this, even though I think it is the wrong thing to do. Where are you going? Should I meet you there? We could have some fun."

"Sorry Jeanne, but I need some time alone." I shook my head and opened the car door. Getting my bags I spoke to my best friend again before I went inside the building. "I'll be fine. I'll call you." The train station was a stone building that was packed with people. They were standing around waiting in line or sitting on the benches drinking coffee or typing on their laptops. Thankfully the line was not too long, so I bought my ticket immediately. My train did not leave for another few minutes. I found a good spot by the platform and pulled out my sketch pad. I could not bring myself to draw anything. My pencil just hovered above the paper. No marks, no lines, nothing. Stupid…. I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand hoping that could make me think of something to draw.

Ugh! The train had just stopped but I did not feel like getting up just yet. Resting my head on the back of the bench I breathed in the air. I picked up a scent I recognized. Jake. Jumping up, I ran to the end of platform and onto the train. I was hoping that he did not see me, let alone smell my scent and follow it. Taking a seat towards the back of the train I casually looked out the window. In no time at all the train started moving, and I saw him again. Wearing the same clothes he was before, Jacob Black was staring at the train as it pulled away from the station. He came after me this far? I turned my back to the window. This was enough.

"Good-bye Jacob Black," I muttered slowly, leaning my head against the cushion of the seat as I fell asleep.

End of chapter 3

I mean no offfense to guys who wear pinks shirts and white pants or happen to be named Conner. It was just a name that randomly popped into my head. So I hope you all liked it. Thanks for reading please review. XD