Ok. Well I've had this in my head for quite some time, but couldn't put it into writing until now. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it =) and sadly I own nothing. oh well -gets over it-

It's late on a cold winter night; the breeze that comes in through the window feels cool against my tear stricken face. I've been sitting here typing for the last hour, trying to put into words the thoughts that are running through my head. I look away from the screen and take a deep breath, as if to clear myself of all the emotions that suddenly resurfaced. After a couple of seconds I am determined to read over the email. Gathering valor I look at the screen, and painstakingly begin to reread it.

I don't remember how I met you, or even when for that matter. Wait, I lie. I do remember when, the end of my last school year. That really doesn't matter now, does it? All I know is that you gave me the comfort that I was looking for during a very difficult time for me. Maybe that's why I became so fond of you that quickly. My friend… always and forever.

My first love.

On the outside you were icy and detached, maybe that's why people found it so easy to disregard you, just another guy wearing dark clothes. Another freak, as they labeled you.

Ugh, I was so disgusted with the way people treated you, to me you were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Your pale white skin and your black hair were huge contrasts, kind of like your personality. And your eyes, oh those eyes. How I yearned to be the one reflected in those eyes.

When you finally asked me to be your girl I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. You were everything I had ever dreamed of. My knight in shining armor; perhaps what attracted me to you was the sensitive side of yourself that you seemed to show only to me, affectionate and gentle. You kept that tenderness well hidden, like a secret meant only for you and me. No one would have believed you were sweet and caring, protecting me from things seen and unseen. You were mine and I was yours…always and forever.

Sigh. Yet as fast as my fairytale came alive, it withered away.

I began to see a side of you that you had yet to show. A side that I didn't think existed; no not in the beautiful creature that I thought you were. The side with an ulterior motive, I assumed the feelings between us were mutual. I guess that was my fault, huh? Thinking that you wanted to be with me, but that was typical me… assuming things.

I can say I didn't see it happening around me, but the truth is I just didn't want to see it. You turned into a predator playing with its pray, waiting to see how long he can keep it alive before finally devouring it.

Your calculating and manipulating ways made me hang on to every word you ever said, and I convinced myself that you could do no wrong. You had me by the throat and I was too numb to notice I was being chocked. So cold. I gave you my love and my heart and you only played with my feelings. In the end all I wanted, all I needed was you; my body called for you and my heart wept when I could no longer have you. You used me to build your ego and when you no longer needed me to feel good, you discarded me like an old toy. Wasn't it supposed to be always and forever?

Was it amusing to see me bend to your every whim?

Did you enjoy seeing how far you could push me before I shattered?

Was destroying my self esteem and rebuilding it a favorite pass time of yours?

Was making me crave you your final objective?

Well none of that matters now, no not now… not ever, at least anymore.

Why did I begin to write you? Well, I don't really know. I guess I just wanted to…say hi?

Ha! Hi to you, the person that hurt me so much? What could I possibly say to you…the person that could most likely careless if I lived or died? No. I guess I just needed closure, to get some things off my chest. I hope you are well and… happy, because I am.

Good-bye, always and… forever.

What I wrote was the truth, I just wanted closure. To leave my past behind. I had not planned for my good-bye note to be so long, I guess I just had so much to say. Sigh. All that's left is to send the e-mail, and say farewell. I hear the front door open and close, and a silver haired hanyou walks into the living room.

"How was your day, my love?" I ask as he approaches me.

"Keh, its better now." Inuyasha bends down to kiss my cheek. "Kags, I'm starving."

"Well dinner is ready and I'm almost done here, go change and we'll eat."

"What if I get dessert first?"

He takes my hand and pulls my body close to his, and kisses me. As he deepens the kiss I feel intoxicated the sweetness of his mouth, I can't seem to get enough. Before I know it my hands are undoing the buttons of his shirt and my fingers can't seem to move fast enough. Unfortunately for my blouse, patience is not one of Inuyashas strong traits, buttons fly everywhere. With a flick of his wrist my bra is rendered useless, for the first time since we started kissing he releases my mouth. He begins to kiss my neck and I gently guide his mouth to my yearning breasts, when I feel his tongue I loose all control. He begins to pull me towards our bedroom and I regain control for an instant.

"Hold on Inu, I need to finish this."

"Keh, you need to finish what we just started."

I look at him and see the hunger and need in his amber eyes, it is then I realize… this gorgeous hanyou is all the closure I have ever needed.

"I just need to press one button, I promise." I reach to press the key.

"Oi, wench, you can press that button later." He embraces me and presses my back against his chest, there's no point in fighting him… not that I would like to resist him. I turn to kiss him one more time, and I finally press a key.

Delete.

I look up to my loving husband and let him lead me towards our always and forever.

A/N: So what did you think? Let me know just click on the little gray button in the middle of the screen =)