WANNABE IN THE WEEDS, ABBREVIATED EDITION

CHAPTER ONE

Wannabe In The Weeds, ultra-condensed! Inspired by LostOzian's "Wicked in 62 Seconds" and "RENT in 56 Seconds".

NOTE: MORE ABBREVIATED EDITIONS OF EVERYONE'S FAVORITE BONES EPISODES WILL APPEAR UNDER THE TITLE "BONES: ABBREVIATED EDITION" listed under my joint account with L100Meganium, I'mAllEars!

Wannabe In The Weeds (Season 3, Episode 14)

[This one is specifically for Erin, just 'cause this episode made her cry…]

TOMMY: TRA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAA…… [dead]

BRENNAN and CAM: Where's the head?

BOOTH: AAAACHOOOOO!

BRENNAN: Oh…there's the head…

TOMMY'S HEAD: [eyeball falls out]

CAM: He was hot!

ANGELA: Now he's not!

CAM: And buff!

ZACK: I'm deceptively strong!

CAM: I'm deceived!

TOMMY'S ALARM CLOCK: BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!

TOMMY'S NEIGHBOR: MY EARS! THEY BLEED! Shoot that friggin' alarm clock!

BOOTH: No! Did you kill Tommy?

TOMMY'S NEIGHBOR: No! But Fat Pam might have killed Tommy!

RANDOM LADY AT GYM: [shows off abs]

BOOTH: [drool]

BRENNAN: Stop ogling!

BOOTH: I'm not ogling! Who's Fat Pam?

GYM OWNER: Tommy's stalker!

BRENNAN: You're still ogling!

BOOTH: Am not!

PAM: I'm a psychotic stalker and you're a skinny freak!

BRENNAN: Am not!

BOOTH: Sorry you have no one left to stalk!

PAM: I have you, silly! LOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEE! [foams at mouth]

SWEETS: Please be careful around your new psychotic stalker.

BOOTH: [rolls eyes]

BRENNAN: I like this karaoke stuff!

BOOTH: Shoot me!

PAM: [Takes stalker photos]

ZACK: I can sing!

HODGINS: [rolls eyes]

ZACK: It's true! Loooooooooooove is a many-splendored thiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

CAM and ANGELA: [fangirling]

PAM: Here's some socks! LOVE MEEEEEEE!

BOOTH: Um…weird…

BRENNAN: I OWN Cyndi Lauper!

BOOTH and SWEETS: [snort]

BRENNAN: Tommy was killed by a guitar string!

BOOTH: Because it cut the cheese!

BOOTH and SWEETS: [snort]

BOOTH: YOU did it!

GUITAR PLAYER: No, I didn't! HE did it!

GYM OWNER: No, I didn't!

HODGINS: No, he didn't! HE did it!

TOMMY'S NEIGHBOR: Yeah, I kinda did…

BOOTH: You're under arrest! Bones, sing!

BRENNAN: No!

BOOTH: Yes!

BRENNAN: Okay! GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUUUUUUUUUUUN!

PAM: Seeley! Love meeeeeeee!

BRENNAN: GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE-

PAM'S GUN: BOOM!

BOOTH: OUCH.

BRENNAN: Nooooooooo!

EVERYBODY ELSE: Nooooooo!

BOOTH'S GUN: BOOM!

PAM: [dies]

BRENNAN: DON'T DIE ON ME GOSHDARNIT!

BOOTH: [dies]

FANGIRLS: [weep]

HART HANSON: MWAHAHAHAHA!

THE END!